Foreplay from the M62 Limericks are a mental distraction Out of gas with my car; this was true, I had plenty of gas way back then, The was never a gal "Betty Sue"! The only 'pit' that I'll be in The others will never see us, Reminisced an old rounder named Levy, Reminisced an old rounder named Lord Reminisced an old rounder named Joe When you drive, show your dick to your date. Then because she has been more than sweet, Steering with your feet's kinda tricky, Did what you said -- kinda neat! Your phobia's really bizarre... There was a young lady from Boston, My cousin, Joe Flynn, who's from Boston, There was a young man from Boston, The scrotum of L. Cabot Ralls Poor Patrick thought nothing was neater Said a man whose home town was in Boston, He went for a ride with Miss Nealy, A horny young lady was Babbitt; There is a bandy-legged policeman from Crewe, GM and Toyota, I'll bet, A frustrated man was McNair; A German consultant named Moon There was a young fellow named Watson An incestuous fellow was Watson; There was a young fellow named Watson DeLorean said, "It is great! While out on a date in his Fiat, I once owned a Fiat 126;
This is file etl
You have given me cause to ponder, What a coincidence! Hue High on Viagra in Bude, What really does get on my wick A Jeep was the first car I knew. They sat in his little old Lloyd, Making love in my little MG I once purchased a brand new MG Young people are probably bored, There was a young fellow named Dorgan, A careless young fellow named Boris "Tis my custom," said dear Lady Norris, "It's my custom," said a driver of lorries, Said a man of his small Morris Minor, The cow left me all the best china; There was a young fellow named Hambler Small little cars crawl up the street; I've done it -- I've ruined my budget! I'll bet your new Cruiser is fine. A promising young woman attorney Joe'd open the door to his Porsche; In L.A. the land of show biz, MAROON MG, most splendid sight, The car is finally found; What a blast to drive all about, The lust of a young buck My car is an open two-seater. I got a new neighbor named Candy; I have a new neighbor named Randy, My friend drives a Robin Reliant, There was an old man from Zumbrota Toyota, Nissan, Chevrolet -- Though Bill Clinton declares that he's scored Heaven is a very fast car
Down to Barnsley just really won't do!
She was in clover
As he passed Bolsover;
But by Shepshed, I heard they were through!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My mind is often missing in action
A car on the freeway:
No attention leeway!
That's how I ended up in traction.
--- Marlene
When he tried to seduce Betty Sue.
When she finally said yes,
I bet you can guess;
Old Bernie was out of gas too.
--- Shelby Forrest
And I felt like a man among men.
Things are different today,
If I acted that way,
I'd most likely end up in the pen!
--- Shelby Forrest
But today we all know what she'd do.
I'd bet you a buck,
It would just be my luck
That today you would see Betty SUE!
--- Shelby Forrest
Is your deep, wet vertical grin.
I'll take your tight curves
With your bumps and tail swerves,
And then take them over again.
--- Anon
As we blaze full speed in our lust.
Won't take a pit stop
'Til we're ready to drop.
We'll refuel and they'll eat our dust
--- Anon
'Bout his many amours hot and heavy;
When asked, "Which was best?"
"As for sex," he confessed,
"'Twas the cramped rumble seat of my Chevy."
--- Armand Singer P0307
'Bout his many amours hot and torrid;
When asked, "Which was best?"
"As for sex," he confessed,
"'Twas the cramped rumble seat of my Cord."
--- Arthur Deex P0307
'Bout his many amours long ago;
When asked, "Which was best?"
"As for sex," he confessed,
"'Twas the rumble seat of my Renault."
--- Arthur Deex P0307
As you steer tell her to masturbate
You to full erection,
'Til your load needs ejection;
Come for miles down the long Interstate.
--- Anon
You will dive to her pussy and eat,
Lick her clit 'til she cums
While the old motor hums,
But make sure that you steer with your feet.
--- Anon
While you are giving her a licky.
Switch places instead,
Then bury your head,
In her lap while she drives the ve-hickie.
--- Anon
And I must say it was a great feat.
Did it right, so I thought;
Licked her clit, like I ought,
But next time she'll sit in the front seat!
--- Anon
Result of an old psychic scar?
Reconsider the Spyder!
Please be a rider
In my Alfa Romeo sports car!!
--- Anon
Who thought she was raped in an Austin,
But the truth is, my dears,
She sat on the gears,
And a traffic cop kicked the exhaust in.
--- G0533
Went out in his little gray Austin.
He started to swerve,
Then flew off a curve,
And a mountain of snow he was lost in.
--- Monique de Plume
Who rode around in an Austin.
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
But his balls hung out, and he lost 'em.
--- L1137
Lost near one of the large shopping malls
In the suburbs of Boston,
While he drove his Austin.
Reward for return of his balls.
--- A N Wilkins P8703
Than driving a tiny two-seater--
But it wasn't an Austin,
He wasn't in Boston,
And he lost not just balls but his peter!
--- Norm Storer P9203a
When he drove to Texas in his Austin,
"My next drive to Texas
Will be in a Lexus.
In an Austin it's much too exhaustin'."
--- Tom Patton P0209
In her new '62 Austin-Healey;
But she gave him a clout,
And she kicked him right out,
When he reached out to cop him a feely.
--- Cap'n Bean P9809
To fuck in a car was her habit.
On the banks of Euphrates,
She tried the Mercedes.
"It is better," she said, "in a Rabbit."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0032
Who doesn't know what to do.
He can stop without fuss,
A lorry or bus,
But bubble cars simply go through!
--- Geri Hughes
When they join Chevrolet and Chevette
With the hybrid Jap car,
Will not go so far
As to call the new model "Toylette."
--- A N Wilkins P8407
He could not get into his Corvair.
But he managed to squeeze
In with relative ease,
After lining the doorway with hair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2189
Signed a deal for a car name at noon.
Client phoned the next day,
"Need the name right away."
"Oh really," he said, "Dat Soon."
--- Henry Mucha
Who tried to make love in a Datsun.
Said his dad, "It's no shame
If you forfeit the game,
It just matters how well you have fought, son."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0776
He tackled his aunt in a Datsun.
For an hour he strained
Then his auntie complained,
"I'm afraid that you're in the wrong slot, son."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0775
Who buggered his girl in a Datsun,
But he lost this mad scramble
And his car was a shamble,
And his epitaph said "Well You've Fought, Son."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0957
Iacoca and I will soon mate
To make cars that are classy--
Lee does the chassis
And I'll make the license plate."
--- Arthur Deex P9112a
The man exclaimed, "Where's my key at?"
As he bent down to seek,
She let out a shriek:
That's not where it's likely to be at."
--- Anon A
Into the smallest places it fits.
On day trips I'd go
In rain, sleet, and snow,
But sadly, it now lays in bits.
--- Funny Bone
Sex in the Prelude from Honda.
Big lasses cause tension
And damage the suspension,
So try shagging a midget called Wanda
--- Anon
Of my little Honda is blue!
The thing to be said is:
"It ain't a Mercedes,
But it runs and it carries the crew."
--- Nik Synytskyy
Is not something well understood.
But a man here in Leeds
Likes to broadcast his seeds,
In the back of his Honda Prelude
--- Anon
Are gals who say "Pull over, QUICK!"
"I've not had a shag
inside of a Jag..."
Then jump on my five-speed gearstick.
--- SFA
Remembering...the year, '42...
The Second World War...
My body...no flaw..
My eyes are now shifting to dew.
--- Irving Superior P9203
Frustrated, hot and annoyed.
But enough of palaver,
He attempted to have 'er,
And the car was entirely destroyed.
--- Anon
Took a turn for the worse after she
Cried out, "Give me more!"
I replied from the floor,
"Foolish girl, that's the gearshift, not me!"
--- Anon A
Which ran idiosyncratically,
And its troublesome clutch
Made me swear overmuch,
So its theft was a blessing to me.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9203
When we pour out the memories we've stored.
But we're glad, for their sake,
They never did take,
Long trips in a Model T Ford!
--- T G Culwel P9208
Who tried to make love in his Morgan.
The result of this madness
Was to view with great sadness,
The decline and the fall of his organ.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0682
Tried diddling his girl in his Morris,
But the facts we compile
Were his car had a smile
And he never got near her clitoris.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0654
"To beg lifts from the drivers of lorries.
When they get out to piss,
I see things I miss,
At the wheel of my two-seater Morris."
--- L0760
"To refuse to pick up Lady Norris --
It's not that I care
If she sees pubic hair
But camcording my thing's indecorous."
--- Arthur Deex P8905
"For petting, it couldn't be finer.
But for love's consummation,
A wagon called station
Would offer a playground diviner."
--- Anon
It's bone and there is one thing finer:
It's stroking the leather
(Now sat on by Heather)
Upholstered V8 Morris Minor.
--- S&M
Who tackled a girl in his Rambler.
Just when things looked much brighter,
He got fucked by the lighter,
But Hambler, of course, was a gambler.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0707
Pint-sized people drive with their feet.
The cops get so vexed;
No wonder they're wrecks.
Driving with your hands can't be beat!
--- Marlene
I tried to resist, but, Oh fudge it!
I sure ain't a loser
In my new P.T. Cruiser.
Now stand back you people, don't smudge it!
--- Liam na Beag
It must be much better than mine;
I thought about trading
'Cause it's so degrading
To drive my old PT-109.
--- Travis Brasell
Left in her Porsche on a journey,
She encountered a train
While in the fast lane,
And finished her trip on a gurney.
--- Sam Chen
The babes'd go ballistic, of course.
It suggested amour
And reactions impure --
No need for resorting to force.
--- Armand E Singer P9911
A license plate on a Porsche said this:
(It was red, like a flame,
And driven by a dame.)
The plate simply said, "WAS HIS"!
--- Kaylin
Buffed up and shining in sunlight;
Favored color hue
Antique vintage true,
Glorious ride welcomed with delight.
--- Nancy
Into a Saturn I'm bound.
Of Lilac Pearl
I'll go for a whirl;
All the guys on the road I'll astound.
--- Azul
In a sports car, racing flat out!
But low gravity center
Became my tormenter,
When I tried to, but couldn't get out.
--- Ericka
Is to get a fast sports car with luck,
Because young men suppose
That the vehicle shows
The world that they know how to fuck.
--- A N Wilkins P9203
I have never once used the heater.
As for a BROUGHAM,
It feels like a tomb.
That a spyder, nothing is neater.
--- Norm
She really is quite fine and dandy.
Her guy drives a Corvette,
For which he's in debt,
And all that I want is a handy.
--- Enema Bandit
Who really is quite fine and dandy.
He drives a Chevette,
So he's not in debt,
And gives me much more than an handy.
--- Carol
When searching for girls who're compliant.
They say "Fuck off, brat,
I'm not going in that!"
And storm off in a manner defiant.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who hollered he had reached his quota
Of pie a la mode,
The changing Zip Code,
And little green cars from Toyota.
--- Timothy Torkildson
They drive like the Devil's to pay.
They're wildly affected,
But that is expected...
The full moon's just a fortnight away.
--- Arthur Deex P0007
For GM and Chrysler and Ford,
Since he won't impose duties
On sleek Japanese beauties,
Detroit calls it the Honda Accord.
--- A N Wilkins P9508
And a long twisty stretch of smooth tar,
A tank full of gas,
And a bright-eyed lass,
And the cops looking on from afar.
--- Bob Curtis