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There was a young man named McDowell That thoroughly nasty chef Scot When Johnnie with wifie did screw A horny young chef name of Pete A man from the Island of Rhode Smegma's sebaciously cheesy; There was a young man from Marseilles, There once was a chef from Alaska, There was a young woman named Beaucoup, If you really want something with flavor, A long unplumbed spinster named Gosse Look darling, I'm not blaming you A miserly man named McKnight There was an old lady of Crewe, There was a young girl named Charlott There was a young fellow from Leith, An old man of fair Ballinrock, It is best to avoid Pocatello, A gloomy gourmet named of Drood A neighbor, Miss Isabel Dince, At a contest for bakers, Chef Bart A brooding, nuerotic young fellow, A young fellow discovered through Freud, In Camp Woebegone's gopher-gut stew, On the tables are plates full of cheese; "Neath the crust of the old apple pie, Or it may be an old rusty nail, Hickory Dickery Dock; Later when making choad stew A growing world population Now I propose a new plan This is not some old silly scam, I think we could all be merry A nutritionist I know agrees, Brad 'n Broni have a fetish that's slick, When Broni, more often than not, After John Miller ruined my night, (reference to Chaucer)
I see where you're coming from, Dear: Now as for removing our tails... I'd rather be a harpoon than whales; Don't worry; the way that things go, And as for your being a toad, Damned frogs will soon cover our street I've said it before, once or twice, "There's a pussy-hair in this damned soup!" As you'd guess, he went right 'cross the street, On a shaggy blond babe his eyes locked; "Soup's no good , but with THIS you will 'coodle'?" Is it soup? Lad, I must inform you; Dear Hilde should give you the lash, A zit-covered whore from the Bight, Her specialty, ripe "farmers cheese," 'Long the highway, where Norm's truck did roll, The rest of the menu looked dull; "You eatin' that chili?" (sly grin); Norm suddenly dropped his French bread; Norm puked up the beans like a hound; There was an old lady named Grott, Good gracious, is Dot still partaking I think stinky Dot should go sit Dot sat on the edge of her tub, Dave thanked her for all that she gave, They fed me a sandwich of ham; Gross and disgusting that was, You know it's some form of payola, Valid research has unloosed more chatter -- "There's no need", she said, "Man, to holler.
Who fed upon animal bowel.
His favorite dish
Was prostitute piss,
And scrapings from a sanitary towel.
--- Dieter Vancouver
Would serve his best dish piping hot;
An old blend of treacle,
Some stuff that was fecal,
Topped off with a dollop of snot.
--- Armand E Singer 649
He pulled out before he was through.
He blew on her belly,
So she scraped up the jelly,
And she used it flavor his stew.
--- Albin Chaplin
Was renowned for his pudding and sweet;
While making meringue,
He would whip out his whang,
And fill it with cream from his meat.
--- Anon
Loves a toasty slug, snake, frog, or toad.
He hates them when dusty,
Demands them quite crusty,
Unless they are served a la mode.
--- Laurence U
The mere thought makes some people queasy.
"It's really not bad",
Said the connosieur Chad,
"Although sometimes it can be quite greasy!"
--- Jeeves T9710
Who lived upon clap juice and snails.
When tired of these,
He lived upon cheese,
From his prick, which he picked with his nails.
--- L0785
Who cooked an unusual pasta,
Made from snakes and from worms,
It gave people the squirms,
So his wife only eats it, she hasta!
--- Davod A Naess
Who made her own kind of stew;
Some stuff from her twat,
And something Ray shot,
A sturgeon and some caribou.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Try my recipe as a favor.
When visiting your aunties,
Steal a pair of her panties;
Use them to make soup a la b'aver.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose cunt became covered with moss,
By means of a scraper,
Collected on paper
The makings for tasty steak sauce.
--- Armand E Singer 593
For this tampon I've found in the stew;
The taste is okay
But please take it away--
It is not very easy to chew.
--- Michael Horgan
Had manners which gave all a fright.
For he cooked all his grub
In the large thunder mug,
Which he kept in his bedroom at night.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2898
Who made a thick, quite tasty stew,
From toads and frogs
She found in bogs.
But she just couldn't eat it; could you?
--- Anon
Who lived upon toe-jam and snot.
She slipped on some shit,
Broke open her tit,
And crabs crawled out of her twat.
--- G1997
Who used to skin cocks with his teeth.
It wasn't for pleasure
He adopted this measure,
But to get at the cheese underneath.
--- L0782
Made black pudding of chocolate and rock,
Manure and rope,
Prussic acid and soap,
Wrapped up in an old army sock.
--- Anon *
Where the women weewee in lime Jello.
Such a wild recipe
Out-of-bounds it for me...
Though they do say it makes Jello mellow!
--- Grand Prix Lim 874
Passed judgement concerning bad food,
"Digested, it passes
As poop and vile gases --
It does make an epicure brood."
--- Armand E Singer 629
Once made me a pie out of mince,
And turtles and flies
And a couple of eyes,
And I haven't gone over there since.
--- Cap'n Bean P0510Q
Took first with his prizewinning tart.
He embellished it nice
With snot, shit and spice,
And he topped it by whipping a fart.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1240
Went into a low-class bordello,
Where he ordered four whores,
All with chancres and sores,
And ate them with strawberry Jello.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1495
That although of a penis devoid,
He could practice coitus
By eating a foetus,
And his parents were quite overjoyed.
--- L0296
Something lurks there for me and for you;
There is also strange kibble;
For a taste, have a nibble;
Monkey nuts! They have diced a whole slew!
--- Anon
In the custard-dish please do not sneeze;
Don't mind all those ants;
Brush 'em off your short pants;
Keep the mice off the cheese, if you please!
--- Anon
There is something for you and for I;
It may be a pin
That the cook just threw in,
Or it may be a little dead fly!
--- Anon
Or a piece of a pussy-cat's tail;
Whate'er it may be,
It's for you and for me;
If you urp, on the porch there's a pail!
--- Anon
A young man was jerking his cock.
Two strokes on his choad
Deployed his payload,
Then he wiped it all off with his sock.
--- Gearhart
With that sock he knew what to do;
Threw it in the pot
And let it get hot,
Then he served the stew to you.
--- Gearhart
Puts a strain on our ration
Of a great many foods
To feed all our broods,
So we might be facing starvation.
--- Puff Adder
To harvest and afterward can
The foods that now grow
Throughtout life's flow,
On the body of man.
--- Puff Adder
Down your throat I am trying to ram.
Just look at your feet;
Would not it be neat
If we harvested all that toe jam.
--- Puff Adder
If we harvested all of that very
Natural grass
That grows in our ass,
And made wine from the dingle berry.
--- Puff Adder
This is file enm
Protein productions a breeze.
Just take a quick
Look at your prick,
And gather up all that head cheese.
--- Puff Adder
'Cause Brad chews tobacco till sick;
Then, showing his class,
Vomits up in a glass,
And Broni chug-a-lugs it real quick.
--- David Miller
Regurgitates the fucking lot.
Brad picks up a straw,
Gives one to his whore,
And they both suck it up while still hot.
--- David Miller
This Dave one just adds to my plight.
His lim made me spew,
(So what will I do?)
Chop off each Miller's Tail out of spite.
--- Kitten
The porno in Chaucer is clear.
Not quite so refined
Or as slick as the kind
That you'll find when you're reading Shakespeare.
--- John Miller
The male in me certainly quails
At the thought of the loss
Of my sweetheart and boss,
And return to relations with snails.
--- John Miller
I'd rather be a hammer than nails;
I'd rather be dead;
I'd rather be wed!
Than to be one of John Miller's snails.
--- David Miller
You can't be mu arch escargot.
I plied them with salt
'Stead of garlic (my fault),
And they melted away like the snow.
--- John Miller
Despite your miniscule choad,
Which was featured last night
On an X-rated site,
I doubt that you're "fit for the road."
--- John Miller
As treacherous and slippery as sleet,
Where cars mince their nuts
With their brains and their guts
Which renders them unfit to eat.
--- John Miller
That sex is exceedingly nice.
But rather than nail
A slow moving snail,
I'd much rather screw the white mice.
--- Archie
And he left without paying ( that poop!),
Out the diner's front door,
As the waitress got sore;
So she trailed the old cowboy, to snoop.
--- Anon
To a whorehouse with sweet things to eat!
Madam opened the door;
This dude drooled on the floor;
He went in! Man! They all looked quite neat!
--- Anon
To her room! She was quickly defrocked;
On the dusty old bed,
He was giving her head;
Then the waitress broke in, gawked and squawked!
--- Anon
The old cowboy looked up from his poodle;
Said, while taking a breather:
"I WON'T pay here either,
If slurping should bring up a noodle!"
--- Anon
It was soup back at 12:52!
By now, though, it's turned
To the color of burned
Toast mixed with gold from the loo!
--- Liam na Beag
And throw you outside with the trash,
For speaking that poop
About the hot soup;
Thank goodness she didn't make hash!
--- Travis Brasell
Whose pustules were green, plump, and tight,
Could make mayonnaise
In several new ways,
But none of them tasted quite right.
--- H Welchel
She served in the garden. A breeze
Disbursed a slight stench
From one tiny pinch,
Which knocked all the guests to their knees.
--- H Welchel
Found a diner; hot meal was his goal;
"Oh, waitress, hot chili!"
"All out", said the filly;
"Guy next to you got the last bowl."
--- Anon
Watched the man, with a covetous soul;
Guy sipped Mocha brew;
Though seemingly through,
The chili bowl left was still full.
--- Anon
"Guess not, but to waste it's a sin;
It's yours, bless your soul!"
He shoved him the bowl;
With "Thanks, pal!" Norm started right in.
--- Anon
His face blanched with dread, and he said:
" Whazzis down half way?
It's fuzzy and grey!"
A mouse! It was thoroughly dead!
--- Anon
Face down in the bowl, almost drowned;
When Norm raised his head,
The other man said:
"I, too, only got that much downed!"
--- Anon
Who lived on pig shit and snot.
When she couldn't get these,
She lived upon cheese,
Which she scraped from the sides of her twat.
--- L0786
Of delicacies she has been raking
From her twat for years?
It brings me to tears
To think how the hungry are aching!
--- Travis Brasell
In some cave with old Dave, the shit.
He would like her more
Than his rotted whore,
Or than a weird writer of shit.
--- Marlene Lewis
While Dave gave her tired back a rub.
And then when he quit,
She reached for her clit
And offered him some of her grub.
--- Travis Brasell
Suggesting the rest she should save;
Then they walked together
Through fair and foul weather
Until they reached Dave's secret cave.
--- Travis Brasell
I think it was really chopped Spam.
It might be I'm guessing
But, I am confessing
It tasted more like creamed toe-jam.
--- Marlene Lewis
Whether creamy or chunky or fuzz.
We must needs hold our noses
When you speak of our toeses,
And what the slack sandwich-cook does.
--- Wanderer
The way we all drink Coca-cola.
It's way too available.
Hell, in Borneo it's saleable!
We're the diseased; it's ebola.
--- Stiffy Joe
Drinking coffee is bad for the bladder.
There the cancer will grow
With each piping hot "joe';
So drink healthy stuff. Then 'twon't matter.
--- Anon
The reasoning's easy to foller:
If you'd drunk less java,
You wouldn't now have a
A kid with a hue coffee color."
--- Anon
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