Oh you know me, my chastity's big A beautiful girl from the West Minerva could swallow my sword I like them so young and so pure; Have your brain waves gone ever so flat? Now I have been wearing my hat; I'm not picky as I used to be; Please pardon my brief inquisition, The reason I ask 'bout your sight Those types of girls do exist While boreal winters have no spark, In a bind was a seamstress of Hasting -- Arabella's a terrible prude: There was an Old Lady of Prague, Enough of my innocent state; A cautious young fellow named Lynn To the sound of his beat-up old clavier, A cowardly baker, none cowarder, An Everest climber named Baer (apologies to Mallory)
Before she was voted Miss Teen, A middle-aged doctor named Saul, There was a young girl named Venus, There once was a girl from Berlin, There was a young virgin named Happ Young virgins, whatever they do, There was a young virgin named Alice, An intrepid explorer named Jones, A young vegetarian, Kerry; There was a mechanic whose bench There once was a young girl from Kentucky Emotions of fearful complexity Beware of the virgin in heat, I ask you now, What could be horrida?
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I love how with kisses you shower me. Travelin' backwards and forward in Time 'n An inquisitive virgin named Dora, Innocent young Miss Mahoney A sheltered young maid from Berlin My hymen was torn long ago, Your first sounds much better than mine, Some cad poked a thingy in you; "Well, I tried to enjoy this sex biz, Reminds me, my very best shag Or was it that warm mossy bank, Or maybe that time in the cave, In the steeple that time sure was swell; Or maybe that time in my car, That time through the high chain link fence And there really is plenty to say I didn't try sex in a bed There once was a natural prancer By the process of careful deduction, I don't even dare to name "B"; I see from your posts, you're a pervy; Quitting I don't want to do, You're right; these days virgins are rare, A newspaper owner named Fred There was a lewd fellow named Long-- Up for rape, the outrageous Lord Spurgeon If you're planning a night of hot sin, A lady who overly lusted It's known as the Wedding Night prayer-- There was an old maid named Ewing So she thought of a scheme quite uncanny, When the iceman his money he sought it, A boastful blonde virgin from Boulder Said a girl to a fruit-picker, Schmidt,
As my bum and I'll not take a swig.
But in summer sun's glow
I (do come watch the show!)
Trasmutate to a Sheela Na Gig.
--- Anon
Had fake tits installed in her chest.
She told the young surgeon,
"Did you know I'm a virgin?"
Anesthesia put that to the test.
--- Anon
Right down to the hilt whilst I poured
Good will by the gallon,
In her eager jowl un-
Derstanding she'd never be gored.
--- SFA Q
Lovely soft spoken, demure.
I'm talking eighteen,
A real virgin queen.
They're so much the better to skewer.
--- MrMalo
I fear you will never find that
Real virgin queen;
Not at age 18.
Were you out in the sun with no hat?
--- Frank Fazed
Finding virgins ain't hard as all that.
So I'll help you to steer ya';
I've narrow criteria;
Look for girls who are ugly and fat.
--- Frank Fazed
They all look scrumptions to me.
All softness and curves
And a boon to us perves,
And at my age, I can't hardly see.
--- Frank Fazed
It might be a source of derision.
These chubby unspoiled...
Are they still unsoiled?
What is it that's impaired your vision?
--- Frank Fazed
Is 'cause that I've had quite a fright.
I can't find one that's fat,
Or ugly, 'sides that...
I've hair on my palms; that's not right.
--- Frank Fazed
And I'm living proof of this.
We're a dying breed,
Activists are all peeved
'Cause we're not on the endangered list!
--- Claire
Adventurers still try to make mark
By seducing maids
In the ice cream trades,
To believe cherry's walk in the park.
--- Daniel Ford
She spent her time sewing and basting.
It was needles(s) to say
She did not mend her way,
Sew it seems that her hole life was wasting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1349
She says, "Men are beasts. Men are Lewd.
A girl has to watch
Or a hand's on her crotch,
And the next thing she knows, she is screwed."
--- Grand Prix Lim 172 G1594
Whose language was horribly vague;
When they said, "Are you chaste?"
She replied, "What a waste!"
She meant "chased" but her brain hit a snag.
--- Edwardian Leer 102
You've disrupted it, at any rate.
As experience vicarious
Is much less precarious,
I enjoy what you serve on this plate.
--- Anon
Said, "Always go easy with sin;
You have to be wary
Of untested cherry;
You're never quite sure where it's been."
--- Armand E Singer 301
A satyr in Xenia named Xavier,
Pops girl's maidenheads
In rumpled broad beds,
With his highly unmusical behavior
--- G0550
Liked a sweet piece of cake so he showered her,
From her buns to her head
With the makings of bread;
Then it is said, he de-floured her.
--- Pierce Evans
Attacked a young virgin at prayer.
And on a mere whim,
He punctured her quim,
Quite simply because it was there.
--- Armand E Singer 200
She was virginal, pure, and pristine.
But in our society,
Her former propriety
Had vanished before it was missed e'en.
--- Laurence Perrine P8811
Met an innocent girl in late fall.
Though he bought her no ring,
Long before the next spring,
She wasn't a virgin at all.
--- Popsicle TP9807
Who had never encountered a penis.
When Van Stone threw his in,
It went up to her chin,
For the bore, not the stroke, was the meanest.
--- L0904V
Who lost her virginity to a Finn.
Now her cherry's gone bad,
But don't feel too sad,
She still has the box it came in.
--- Anon
Who lost it while taking a nap.
She woke up to find,
In front and behind,
Her brother, three Jews, and a Jap.
--- Armand E Singer 456
Should never say "How" to a Sioux;
A Sioux needs no urgin'
To show a young virgin
How Sioux you-know-what, i.e., screw.
--- Michael Horgan
Who thought of her cunt as a chalice.
One night, sleeping nude,
She awoke feeling lewd,
And found in her chalice, a phallus.
--- L0805
Met a virgin and jumped on her bones.
As they screwed, he drew charts
Of her various parts,
And her private erogenous zones.
--- Peter Wilkins
She lived upon nuts and on berries.
But as she grew older,
He boyfriends grew bolder,
And soon the dear girl lost her cherry.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Contained every manner of wrench.
But he'd none in his truck,
For in it he'd pluck
Luscious cherries with tools that were French!
--- Anon
Who was still a virgin, and lucky.
She knew not the desire
Charles had from afar,
And he took her cherry did Chucky.
--- Anon
Cause many a virgin perplexity;
But hormones dictate
Her concavity's fate,
As the target of laddish convexity.
--- Peter Wilkins
For though you may love tender meat,
The hazards, it's said,
Make a new maidenhead
Far too costly a meat for a treat.
--- Grand Prix Lim 212
I met, nude, in a Tampa Inn corrida,
A virgin in bloom
Locked out of her room,
So I took her to mine and de-Florida.
--- Laurence Perrine P9206
I ache for your lips to devour me.
An innocent virgin
I be, but I'm urgin'
You -- Screw me! Debauch me! Deflower me!
--- Peter Wilkins
Working on timin' and rhymin',
Chastity's what I search for.
I'm left in the lurch for
I still haven't found a whole hymen.
--- Anon
Asked the man who had started to bore 'er:
"Do you mean birds and bees
Go through antics like these,
To supply us our fauna and flora?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 313 G1543A
Heard that love was a lot of baloney.
But the lass never knew
It was literally true,
Till fed the baloney by Tony.
--- G1582
Knew little or nothing of sin,
And her status was quo
For a decade or so,
Till she put up one night at an inn.
--- Lims Unlimited
I found it so hard to say no.
He whipped out his meat,
And turned up the heat,
And I went along with the flow.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'Cause my mind was besotted with wine.
I remember the sea
And having to pee;
And my pussy just stinging from brine!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was it just for someting to do?
Was it done with real feeling,
Or did you stare at the ceiling?
I hope you aren't feeling too blue!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And allow for that premature jizz...
But I really must say,
'Twas a high price to pay,
Per the lyrics..."Is that all there is...?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Took place in a warm sleeping bag,
At twenty below,
Under three feet of snow,
Where her mom couldn't find us to nag...
--- John Miller
Into which we so gratefully sank,
While the bright summer sun
Added warmth to our fun,
In undergrowth otherwise dank?
--- John Miller
Isabella just wasn't so brave.
She clung to me tight,
Till I made it all right,
While pretending to be her love slave.
--- John Miller
We got thrashing and pounding like hell.
'Til a rope from above
Got caught in our love,
And our lovemaking sure rang the bell
--- John Miller
She said, "Johnny, Oh, don't go so far!"
Though I got my way
By the end of the day,
She thought I was her shining star.
--- John Miller
At the base's perimeter defense:
Uncomfortable, sure,
But that girl had allure;
At the time it just seemed to make sense
--- John Miller
For a sweet country roll in the hay,
With a girl who won't snitch
(Though your hides will sure itch
And there's seeds in your hair the next day).
--- John Miller
Until I was comfortably wed.
But even today
Sex any way,
Beats work I'd be doing instead
--- John Miller
Who earned super fees as a dancer.
To help out a virgin
Who feels nature's urgin',
He's willing to be a free lancer.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8807
The effect is the general reduction,
Of the virgae intactae.
As a matter of fact, I
Believe the correct term is fuction.
--- Anon
Her husband's a friend of mine, see,
Whose bride lacked a cherry;
'Twould piss him off (very)
To learn that she gave it to me.
--- John Miller
A virgin defiler most nervy.
I could tell (good hintin'!)
You're much worse than Clinton;
A scumbag with a bad case of scurvy.
--- MrMalo
So I guess I can now come to you.
Since you've virgins many,
And I don't have any,
I'm sure you can spare me a few.
--- MrMalo
And I'm glad you have plenty to spare.
I wonder, of course,
Just what is your source --
Do you run, by some chance, a day care?
--- MrMalo
Would lure a young virgin to bed
And next day refuse
To publish "The News"
Because the sheets already read.
--- Eos P8502
Short on wit but immense in the prong.
He preferred to fuck virgins,
And with his carnal urgin's
He'd helped scores of young ladies go wrong.
--- G1577
Made these comments in court without urgin':
"I concur," court reports,
"I'm no good at some sports;
I once made a hole in one -- virgin."
--- Armand E Singer 946
And it's a virgin you want to win;
Then wait for the day
When her Dad is away,
And boff her Mom first...and you're in!
--- David Miller
Was frequently opened and thrusted.
When the baby came due,
It was female too,
And its hymen was already busted.
--- Anon
The hymn that the hymen's still there.
As inch-inch you inch,
Was...was that a flinch?
While ear-cocked, you hearken the tear.
--- Irving Superior P9008
Who'd heard many tales about screwing.
For these unknown joys
To be had with the boys,
She thought that this joy needed viewing.
--- Clarence E Boyle P9011
As she dreamed of Joe, Frank, or Danny.
Buying ice on the cuff
And when credit got rough,
When he came to collect, offer fanny.
--- Clarence E Boyle P9011
She offered her ass and he caught it.
Said, "That evens the score."
But she cried, "Oh no, more!
It's two bits a piece like I bought it.!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P9011
Swore no man or boy had yet rolled her.
She was therefore chagrined
When photos of her sins
Appeared in the summer school folder.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
"A sweet cherry you'll find in my slit."
Replied Schmidt, up her flue,
"What you say may be true,
But I never have seen such a pit."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0600