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A jovial but plump Israeli A greedy young actress once said, Ol' Bubba, since he is a glutton, There was a Professor named Chesterton, There was a young man of St. Just (Published 1870)
There was an old man of Hawaii, A man died while eating in Sydney; A gluttonous woman named Kay A greedy old gourmet called Woody There was a yong lady named Perkins, His escutcheon had boars on its fess; Everything's fried at the Fair, His appetite was VORACIOUS; I just woke up feeling so great! In the Great Fire of London, dear me, Alice was walking through Putney, Ethnic food has its own small domain Erasmus Emanuel Jones There was an old glutton named Sam, A mathematician named Rota A little old man down in Hurst, A skinny French lady named Suzie, There was a young lady of Michigan There was a young lady called Maud My dad had a theory like that: Now I no longer grieve for Kuwait, I'm puzzled how self-deprivation With your honey, you do some sweeting, While busty Ms. Jen bumps and grinds, There was a young lady of Wycombe I dine at the best spot in Cork, I ate and I ate and I ate. There was a young fellow from Europe, There was this guy called Peter, Lean and hungry gunfighter, Sorrell, A giant of a man from Barbados A greedy young girl from East Cheam There was a young lady named Ida There once was a gourmand from Greece, The Greeks simply gorge upon mutton; A cheerful young glutton named Ben K is for kind little Katy, Mon went to the Borscht Belt last fall. Said the Prof, "Human stomachs, it's true, Thus saying this miserable jerk "I have just proved your statement untrue, man!" There was a young gourmand of Johns, There once was a fellow named Sutton, I've been by the health police chased, A few days before she deceased There was a young maid of Manila, "Two pastries and chips, please" he quoth, A gourmand eats burger and fries At a picnic, a fellow named Shaw At a picnic, a fellow named Fred At a picnic, a fellow named Brock At a picnic, a fellow named Lee At a picnic, a fellow named Roy There was a fat lady from Eye, seven-layer cake, four cups of coffee and a green apple pie.
A honky, white trucker, named Keith My Morganstern buddy named Shelley, When picking 'sophistical' nits, There is an old cook in N.Y. A leprechaun from County Cork The back and the side of a swine, While the chef was preparing a treat, A woman in Thief River Falls
Decided to open a deli.
His proneness to munch
On a customer's lunch
Accounts for the size of his belly.
--- Pedro J Saavedra P8203
As she gobbled down slices of bread,
"If I eat one more crust,
I'm sure I will bust!"
At which point her audience fled.
--- Anon
Eats truckloads of french fries and mutton;
But his favorite pastime,
Unchanged since the last time,
Is 'lint-licking' Lou's bellybutton.
--- Anon
Who went for a walk with his best shirt on.
Being hungry he ate it,
But lived to regret it,
And ruined for life his digesterton.
--- William S Gilbert
Who ate of new bread till he bust.
It was not the crumb,
For it passed through his bum,
But what buggered him up was the crust.
--- L0795
Who ate too much whale and shark pie.
So quaffing some sperm-oil,
He quitted life's turmoil,
Without even saying, "Good-bye!"
--- Anon
Sausage, steak, chops, ham, liver, and kidney.
Said his wife, sad but proud,
"'E was boorish and loud,
But 'e knew 'ow to eat breakfast, didney?"
--- Stargazer
Was seen at a local buffet,
And, devoid of all grace,
She was stuffing her face,
In a frightful and vulgar display.
--- Cap'n Bean
Found a restaurant's beef-steak so good he
Ordered five or six more.
Asked the chef after four:
"It's not that he couldn't, but should he?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Exceedingly fond of small gherkins.
She went out to tea
And ate forty-three,
Which pickled her internal workin's.
--- Anon
Main family trait to express.
They stood not for strength
Or service at length,
But perfection in art of the FRESS.
--- Elois
Including the people right there.
The sun and the beer
Cause the wisest to steer
A course to their stomach's despair.
--- Timothy Torkildson
Table manners: less than gracious.
He stuffed his face
At a furious pace,
With a meal that was truly bodacious.
--- Norm Brust
Like I barely had gained any weight.
Not so says my scale.
This despair it won't quail;
So I go pile food on my plate.
--- Anon
The flames literally went on a spree
Between Pudding and Pie
Streets, so some did decry
From their pulpits the sin: Gluttony!
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9809
Eating some mangoes and chutney.
The policeman she saw
Fell over in awe.
He never had seen so much gluttony.
--- Phil T
In the middle of town. I ate chow mein,
And tacos and noodles
And blintzes and strudels...
Now I wonder which one gave me ptomaine.
--- John Miller 0108
Was awfully fond of grilled bones.
After eating a score,
He asked for some more.
That's why he lies under these stones.
--- Anon
Who had a great weakness for ham.
When they brought him bacon,
He said, "You're mistaken,
But I'll eat it all, pig that I am!"
--- Anon
Had an inordinate fondness for soda.
To keep himself thin,
He took out his pen,
And Rota wrote a soda quota.
--- Anon
Whose throat was quite dry from the thirst,
Consumed a small flask
And then a large cask,
And then very suddenly he burst.
--- Limber Limericks
When eating was never too choosy.
She ate so much food,
It hardly got chewed.
Her metabolism sure was a doozy!
--- Bob Leclerc
To see her I never would wish again.
She'd gobble ice cream
Till with pain she would scream,
Then she'd order another big dish again.
--- Anon
Who was the most terrible fraud.
To eat when at table
She never was able,
But when in the pantry, Oh God!
--- Anon
"Clean you plate, son; now only a rat
Would leave stuff on his plate
When some kid in Kuwait
Starves to death in an unheated flat."
--- Anon
But I still feel I MUST clean my plate.
My guilt trip for that
And the blame for my fat,
I lay square on my dear old dad's pate
--- Anon
Adds one jot to some poor person's station.
But, hey, what the heck,
It's politically correct,
And adds credence to dad's declaration.
--- Anon
'Tween her thighs, a tongue-in-groove heating;
Like parsley on steak,
Pubic hair do not take;
You push it aside; keep on eating!
--- Anon
Not all men have her on their minds;
One would rather eat
Than beat his dead meat --
He sits munching crisp pigskin rinds.
--- Anon
Who loved to pluck apples and lick 'em.
One day, after tea,
She devoured eighty-three,
And her friends said,"You sure don't half pick 'em."
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
On the best of pig's head and of pork.
I eat spuds and boiled eggs,
And turkey-cocks legs,
And I don't have to use knife or fork!
--- Linda Marsh Coll
I ate every thing on my plate.
My gut's bloody sore.
Can't fit through a door.
I've never been quite so oblate.
--- Anon
Who loved to eat pancakes and syrup.
He ate a huge stack,
And then he went back,
To make some more batter to stir up..
--- Ina Chapman P9208
This is file ejm
Who drinks Coca Cola by the litre.
The pies that he eats
Contain veggies and meats,
And have a radius of at least a metre.
--- P Copeman
Put up a good fight, then he fell.
The whole town was abuzz
For what did him in was,
His pig out at the Golden Corral.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0312
Set a record for eating tomatoes.
"There was nothing to it.
I knew I could do it.
Pardon me while I drain my potatoes."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Ate fifty-five pounds of ice cream.
To bring up the heat,
She ate burning peat
And expired in a great cloud of steam.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Who did not know rhubarb from cider.
She drank up a quart,
Which was more than she ort,
And had very strange feelings inside her.
--- P8209
Who munched mutton down to the fleece,
With retsina wine.
"SATIETY's fine,
But I think I'll have just one more piece."
--- Chris Papa
It's an honor to be called a glutton.
Greek society
Applauds SATIETY
And cheers when you pop a button.
--- Norm Brust
Ate some very large meals now and then.
He fastened his lips
Around steak, egg and chips,
Bacon, sausage and barbecued hen.
--- Funfax Limericks
Who weighs near a hundred and eighty!
She eats ten times a day,
And her doctors all say
That's the reason she's growing so weighty.
--- Anon
"How was it?" I asked in my call.
"I didn't enjoy, son,
The food was like poison,
Besides that, the portions were small."
--- Bktep
Hold at most just a quart, never two."
Disrupting the class
The usual wise ass
Said, "Wrong, and I'll prove it to you!"
--- Anon
Taking two quarts of milk, set to work.
To increase his renown
By drinking them down,
And then he declared with a smirk...
--- Anon
But the Prof in response told him, "You can
Just toss out your 'proof,'
I in fact did not goof,
I distinctly and clearly said 'HUMAN'!"
--- Anon
Who'd a notion of dining on swans.
To the Backs he took big nets
To capture the cygnets,
But was told they were kept for the dons.
--- A C Hilton
Who was a notorious glutton.
When he sat down to feast,
Neither man nor beast
Was safe from a quick-flying button.
--- Phil T
Complaining non-stop of my taste,
For doughnuts, meat pies,
And burgers and fries...
It's all such a terrible waist.
--- Tiddy Ogg
An old woman ate two pounds of yeast.
But she couldn't absorb it,
And went into orbit
On a course that was North by Northeast.
--- Lims Unlimited
Whose favorite ice cream was vanilla.
But sad to relate,
Though you piled up her plate,
'Twas impossible ever to fill her.
--- Anon
"With plenty of salt on them both."
But the chip shop had closed
And the floor had been hosed,
So he let out a blasphemous oath.
--- Cyberkeats
Like a glutton and might have large thighs.
Always in the mood
For all sorts of food;
Watch out, if your meal gourmand eyes.
--- Gary Hallock
Consumed so much chicken and slaw
That, believe it or not,
The others forgot
To eat as they watched him with awe.
--- World of Eric Lim P0609
Consumed so much roast beef and bread
That, believe it or not,
The others forgot
To eat as they watched him with dread.
--- Arthur Deex P0609
Consumed so much beer and ham hock
That, believe it or not,
The others forgot
To eat as they watched him with shock.
--- Arthur Deex P0609
Consumed so much ice cream and tea
That, believe it or not,
The others forgot
To eat as they watched him with glee.
--- Arthur Deex P0609
Consumed so much cake and bok choi
That believe it or not,
The others forgot
To eat as they watched him with joy.
--- Arthur Deex P0609
Who felt she was likely to die;
But for fear that once dead
She would not be well-fed,
She gulped down a pig, a cow, a sheep, twelve buns, a
--- T J Spencer
Choked to death when he swallowed his teeth
At a roadside cafe.
They were out of pate,
So he devoured a whole side of beef.
--- Candice Cunningham P9505
Did ponder while stroking his belly:
I wonder if Frank
When faced with some skank,
Prefers it to bagels and jelly.
--- Anon
Shell Morganstern must call it quits;
He knows that his buddy,
Ol' Frank, is plain nutty
For not wanting clits -- but hot grits!
--- Anon
Who insists you should always st.p.;
He says he once tried
To eat some that was fried,
And claims he would rather ch.c.
--- Anon
Had not once in his life seen a fork.
Since he was in a stable
Rather than at the table,
He pitched it at pigs not at pork.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Immersed in a bucket of brine,
Then smoked or just dried,
Sliced thin and then fried,
Makes bacon. Mm-mm, mighty fine!
--- Rory Ewins
The waitress stood by so discreet.
When she asked, "What is love?"
He said, "Heavens above!
It is when I am basting my meat!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2341
Was a glutton for beef liver balls;
When she yelled, "Dinner's ready!"
Her spouse muttered, "Steady!
The beef-liver grief-giver calls."
--- William K Alsop P8910
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