MORE
An unhappy young filly from Vassar There once was a man from Bombay, There was a young man from Stainus, My wife calls a loud fart, a poot; A tip that my father imparted, "My Lord," said the wench to her master, The thought of the muscular power While pretending to read some Voltaire, From the fart that was let by McNair, I held back my shit for a week, I've got a roomie named Scott, 'Tis better to fart in great shame, There once was a pretty young lass Odette, nationality French, That pungent aroma you smell. I once knew a bubbly lass When the bride let a terrible fart, In Boston, for just millionaires, I think I'll be the first to start Everyone's looking askance; There once was a woman named Gladys, That sulfurous gelatinous goo, He did part with such loud stinking farts There was a young man, a true swell, A keen-nosed dean of Tacoma, I once had a girl named Delores, I make pizza with garlic dough; Nicole is so young and so new Jimmy Carter exclaimed, "Deja Vu... A girl from the African veldt When H passes gas in the night, Oh pity poor Roger P Blass; Tom, Tom, the piper's son, On Frisco's underground BART, There once was a man from Queens; There was a young man named Dan The B.O. that most people get So well he's been fed, heart of hearts; An attorney who practiced at law, There was a smart fellow named Retwun The poetic farts, though not great, A loose-jeweled hooker, old Mame; That hot-headed maitre d', Paul, While teaching H. P. Lovecraft in class, You've heard of those days Carboniferous What they found in a fossil's esophagus, Coprophagous grins, from pubescency, My girl, as we snuggled in bed, Lisa looked up from the floor, My dog used to laugh when he'd poot; A nearsighted cleric from Queens If ever we've unwelcome guests, "Oh my!" saId Mary with a start, EPA said those greenhouse gasses I busted a fairly loud button. The pub owner's dog let two farts; My wife was scratching her ass There in the arena stood Spartacus, Now that does explain the old riddle A St. Bernard once passed a gas I took my dog out for a walk; The arcane mellifluous art I cannot envision the scene There was a young lady of Butte In Chicago this weird little lass At a flatulence contest in Butte, The contest for farting at Brelle,
Has a terrible rep as a gasser.
She knows what it means
When she fills up on beans,
But she'll never let pork-&-beans pass 'er.
--- G1477
Who ate gallons of beans every day.
He farted so loud,
He attracted a crowd,
But the smell made them all run away.
--- Anon
Who emitted an odor quite heinous.
As people passed by,
Many started to cry;
Turns out there's a leak in his anus.
--- Anon
To me it comes from the same chute;
Odoriferous gasses,
Emanate from folks asses,
We argue, but the point is just moot.
--- Anon
Before he was dearly departed:
To avoid smelling stench
While you sit on a bench,
Move away if your seat mate has farted.
--- Anon
"I'm floored by the stench of your ass, sir!
You've promoted the fart
Into museum art!
It's adored!" said the wench. So he gassed her.
--- Younger Brother a
That you use as propellant, my flower,
Has me strangely delighted --
Nay, stiffly excited --
Nay, seconds away from a shower.
--- Anon
Strange noises emerged from my chair.
Then George Bernard Shaw
Said "I'll open the door.
Thank God for a breath of fresh air!"
--- Bill Wall
The doc was left gasping for air.
Between panting and wheezes
Said the doctor, "By Jesus,
We must send you to heavy repair."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1216
Then cut me a slathering freak.
That glorious flatus;
That cheesy mutatus!
The neighbors now frown and don't speak.
--- H Welchel a
Who delights in farting a lot.
His asshole will pour
His worst earthly spore;
And nice fresh air, we haven't got.
--- Rickless
Than to bust a gut and go lame.
So I pretend not to care
About the foul air,
But decline sixty-nine just the same.
--- Anon
Who loved onions but filled up with gas.
Her boyfriend said, "Flo,
I love you, you know,
But I cannot get near you, alas!"
--- Helen Dowd
Was quite a remarkable wench.
She excelled at the art
Of stifling a fart,
But never could manage the stench.
--- G1388
That lingers around for a spell
That odiferous gas
That comes from my ass,
I think is decidedly swell.
--- Anon
Who possessed inordinate gas.
Though she thought she suppressed it,
It passed out, you guessed it,
Just like her guests did -- en masse!
--- Sam Chen
The bridegroom jumped back with a start.
He said the profusion
Of this fetid effusion
Was fouler than yesterday's tart.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1201
Society gathered in pairs.
For their finest cuisines
They served Boston Baked Beans,
And how they all do put on airs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2706
To cherish and treasure as art,
The parting of cheeks,
The putrid reeks,
As the world is blessed with a fart.
--- Anon
They think that I just shit my pants.
But I just let a winner
The result of my dinner,
Some really quite rank flatulence.
--- Anon
Who had lots of excessive flatus.
She'd not use legumes,
And reduced her fumes,
Thus preserving her smell apparatus.
--- Wanda M Kowanetz
From my anal sphincter I spew,
Repulses and smothers;
Convulses some others,
And I find I'm liking it, too!
--- Anon
As to give folks a regular start.
To know him was danger;
He could only meet strangers,
But soon they would also depart.
--- Anon
Who played with his prick till he fell.
When to get up he started,
He suddenly farted,
And fell down again from the smell.
--- L1490
Was awarded a special diploma,
For his telling apart,
A masculine fart
From a similiar female aroma.
--- L0754
Who knew every word in the thesaurus.
I said, "If you're smart,
Then suck on this fart."
Then she bolted, and spewed a great chorus.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
It sets off my farter, you know.
My poor woman cries
With tears in her eyes;
Either me or the smell's gotta go!
--- Dave Jersey
With innocence granted to few.
Her smile is so sweet,
She has ticklish feet,
But the middle creates such a "PHEW!"
--- Anon
When in England I used the Queen's loo,
And let a loud fart
Which wasn't too smart;
In Plains they stick around like glue."
--- Harry Rubin P9309
Consistently suffered and heldt
The clamorous farts
From her nethermost parts,
Because of the stench that they deldt.
--- Hugh Clary
It costs money to set things aright.
The aroma exuded
Is so badly polluted,
He's an EPA Superfund Site!
--- MrMalo A
He's constantly bloated with gas;
On a bad day great farts
Ricochet off his parts,
And peel tender skin from his ass.
--- Armand Singer
Let loose a fart, and away he run.
But Tom fell in
An old shit bin,
And ever since then, Tom stinks like sin!
--- L0739
This is file ehm
A swish cut a hideous fart.
But from his sweet ass
There will pass no more gas;
The passengers tore him apart.
--- Larry Wilde
He ate simply nothing but beans.
His flatulent behavior
Chased off all his neighbors,
And turned all his white curtains green.
--- Gearhart
Whose emissions permeated the van.
Said his friends on the bus,
With a terrible fuss,
We think we should buy you a fan.
--- Anon
Are layers and layers of sweat.
Or, minimum tissue
Effacing the issue.
Or wind that is untimely let.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
At bedtime, you'll pay for your arts;
Between those cool sheets,
You'll hear no bird's tweets,
Just a chorus of loud, stinky farts!
--- Anon
Wed a bright, cultured girl with one flaw:
She farted so foul,
He'd let out a yowl--
Though asleep, he would rush out the daw! (door)
--- G1409
Who laughed a big laugh as he let one.
Then he smiled at the blast
But his smile did not last,
For the fart that he let was a wet one.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1227
Have stunk up these pages of late.
The atmosphere's foul;
No rhymes make me howl.
I wonder what some of you ate.
--- Frank Spectra
A people-jammed lift -- what a shame!
The tart let a fart
That stank from the start,
But no one could prove whence it came.
--- Armand Singer
Was charged with inciting a brawl;
The donnybrook started
When somebody farted,
And stank up the whole banquet hall.
--- Armand E Singer 616
I developed some demonic gas.
From the lecture I ran,
Barely got to the can,
When Cthulhu shot out of my ass!
--- Trainman
When dinosaur farts were splendiferous;
Fermented en masse,
Their expulsions of gas
Were exceedingly hot and vociferous.
--- Peter Wilkins
Proved that dinosaurs, sometimes sarcophagous,
Nourished many new species
That florished on feces,
Enjoyed with a grin called coprophagous.
--- Travis Brasell
Were found with such high effervescency,
By arthopods eating
The meals that were heating
In 'Dinosaur Delicatessen,' see?
--- Travis Brasell
Sniffed at the air and then said,
"If that's not your dog,
Farting boggy green fog...
I fear that we never can wed..."
--- Anon
That Dobie whom I did adore;
I gave her a wink
She let out a stink
That drove the girl straight out the door.
--- Anon
He thought it was such a big hoot.
He'd stink up the area
With aromatic aria;
That silly and smelly old brute.
--- Karen
Like to eat lots of beans.
This caused him to fart,
And his dog to bark;
To the cleaners, he took all his jeans.
--- Ferrisfur TP9807
To clear them, my dog does his best.
His anal aroma
Soon sends them off home, a
Nice boon, when suffering pests.
--- Anon
As her cute little lamb let a fart.
"Not another sprout
If that's what comes out.
I'll rename you for Simpson called Bart!"
--- Funny Bone
Are from Australian Dingoes' asses.
Their farts from down under
Rip the ozone asunder,
Must be where Balto's big ass is!
--- Anon
'Twas heard between Auckland and Sutton.
Lord Asquith revolved,
George Orwell dissolved,
And six hundred sheep are now mutton.
--- H Welchel
The first fibrillated our hearts.
The next killed the rats,
And three nearby bats,
And melted the flights on my darts.
--- Anon A
With a blade or two of some grass.
She let out a fart
Which wasn't too smart,
And killed our poor dog from the gas!
--- Beatle
With lions who'd tear him apartacus.
His gas emanation
Caused such consternation,
He poisoned those beasts with one fartacus.
--- Tiddy Ogg
About the night Nero did fiddle,
Until the games were adjourned,
And all of Rome burned,
Spartacus laughed his ass off in the middle.
--- John Henry
So potently foul, it harassed
All hikers for miles.
But soon they bore smiles --
It melted the snow from the pass.
--- Anon
With a lady, I started to talk.
She was so overcome
By the smell from his bum,
That I plugged up his ass with a cork.
--- Anon
Of teaching a bed bug to fart
Is practiced in France
To augment romance.
It sounds like a giggling young tart.
--- H Welchel
With a herd of cows, both fat and lean,
All farting as one
In the afternoon sun.
Dit they all eat the very same bean?
--- Liam na Beag
Who thought that her fart was so cute,
But a man in despair
Was left gasping for air,
For a week after sniffing the brute.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1192
Kept asparagus stuffed up her ass.
Her urine grew thick,
The fumes made her sick;
She died from aspara gas.
--- Tom Patton P9803
One lady's exertion was cute.
It won the diploma
For fetid aroma,
d three judges were felled by the brute.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1363
Was won by a lady named Nell.
She won the diploma
For foul aroma,
When two judges died from the smell.
--- Anon
MORE