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I would make a run for the gold. Perhaps you could make me forget Okay, I'll go flying with you; I'm sure you'll enjoy flying soon, We may not get up a mile high Frank, you're a romanatic, my dear. Ballooning sounds like the right way Baloons are much lighter than air. My heart your sweet mind does enfold; I offered to 'take you' on high, I know there's one thing we might do. The flame's turned form orange to blue; You still need a match? Will I do? Buck Naked! Well, I suppose... I've noticed some things on the rise. I know, I know -- I'm such a wimp. I fell from the basket you see. I do try, the best that I can, Smoked no weed, no booze was sipped. Limp off in a snit if you must; Two jet fighters flew overhead Now one of those pilots Captain Turner, What I'm telling, you're not gonna like; So I have now to drive east by car; We waited in vain at O'Hare, We asked strangers to cash a small check. We didn't know if Fred was okay. Fifty harlots attired in thir slacks A DC-10 trip bound for Spain Dutch pilot, in low level flight, "Now Jack, we could have us some fun, The plane's systems aren't unaffected: But luckily for that there copper, You looked so arousing while pump- ...Which I dreamed I was screwing and plumbing; I quickly changed downwards a gear But you need a reliable source There once was a boy named Ken Crockett, When making a cross-country hike, The tile in my bathroom is striking, A lady mountain-biker named Bunny There was a young man of Aberdeen There was a young lady from Thrace In Holland, locating your bike, To baker's shop rides Antoinette, The bicycle seat fairly groans, There once was a girl with no seat Smiled a widow, that poor Mrs. Spode, I wish the coeds on their bikes A lady went biking with Reichert Poor bill was cycling in the rain, There once was a Lesbian named Mike, Two nuns, while obeying all laws, Said a girl, with a look close to pain, There was a young sportsman named Peel A hard-peddling hooker named Syke Officials of the Tour de France, An "outdoorsy" chick, fond of hikin', Sex is like riding a bike? Don't think it's like riding a bike, We all know you're talking pure twaddle; Well, innocent me could not know I may mountain-bike many a mile, I ride bikes on the mountain all day; "I think I shall go for a spin, I cannot get fuel for my car; There once was a boy named Mike,
It is such a sight to behold.
But fly, I cannot,
Even with a sexpot;
My stomach cannot be controlled.
--- Marlene
That we're flying in some darn jet.
To fly without drugs
I will give you hugs;
I'll be forever in your debt.
--- Marlene
If you'll take the chance, I will too.
United we fly
Till we are mile-high,
Providing a show for the crew
--- Marlene
Especially when you see the moon.
It's such a grand sight
On a cloudless night
When viewed from my hot air balloon.
--- Frank Fazed
Past sundown (that's the reason why).
No duct tape will mask it,
When we rock the basket;
You might give the gold one more try.
--- Frank Fazed
I think I'll let go of my fear.
You make my heart ache.
So please, will you take
Me up in the air that's so clear?
--- Marlene
To go flying any good day.
The basket may rock;
It won't be a shock,
If this softens my feet of clay.
--- Marlene
I might just be able to bear
Not touching the earth
In your basket berth.
You've swept me off my feet with flair!
--- Marlene
Together we'll go for the gold.
Take me for a flight;
We will be alright.
It's more fun than I was told!
--- Marlene
But now the air stream passes by.
The lighter, alas,
Won't fire the gas.
If you have no match, we won't fly!
--- Frank
If I get buck naked, will you?
I'll nuzzle your thigh,
And then sparks will fly,
Igniting the flame to burn blue.
--- Frank
'Twas caused by the heat 'tween us two.
It isn't surprising,
There is something rising...
Oh look, the balloon is rising too!
--- Frank
I see that you've thought of that, too.
I thought I was ready --
I wore this black teddy.
A good thing you don't have a crew!
--- Marlene
If you prefer me without clothes.
I'll nuzzle your back.
You have got the knack.
You look awfully good in repose.
--- Marlene
I'll soon fill the air with my cries.
"Don't rock the basket!
We might blow a gasket!
I can't stand anything that flies!"
--- Marlene
But look! The balloon's getting limp!
Don't wiggle that way;
We're starting to sway!
I should not have bothered to primp.
--- Marlene
And he fell right on top of me.
We fell in the mud.
Well, I've had it, Bud!
I am limping home for some tea.
--- Marlene
But things don't quite follow the plan.
And after a thud,
In that pit of mud,
I'm really a dirty old man.
--- Frank
We hadn't a chance to get ripped.
I wasn't able
To keep things stable,
And dammit, that basket got tipped.
--- Frank
I'd no thought the balloon would bust.
Go on, brew your tea;
Don't worry about me.
All this mud has dampened my lust.
--- Frank
And sped to a sunset of red;
When they reached full throttle,
I reached for the twattle
Of Heather who lay on my bed.
--- Travis Brasell
Who's married to Heather, is sterner
Than most, and a joker.
He'll take a hot poker
And give you a real afterburner.
--- Tiddy Ogg
At the airport they said take a hike.
We don't fly to your honey,
For we're asking more money;
We're Lufthansa pilots on strike.
--- Anon
(For a hike it's a bit far too far).
Thus be patient and wait,
I'll arrive some time late,
But you can leave the front door ajar.
--- Anon
But no Fred; we were full of despair.
He had the money,
So it wasn't funny;
One hot dog was what we had to share.
--- Sal R
They said "NO!" and we said "Oh heck!"
We left the airport,
A broke hungry sort,
And all of us felt like a wreck.
--- Sal R
Slowly the night passed away.
A telegram late
Caused a mix-up in date,
But he arrived safely, next day.
--- Sal R
For a meeting in L.A. made tracks.
Their DC-10 flight
Was canceled outright,
For the airplane had too many cracks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1662
With 200 whores was in vain.
Said the F-double-A,
"You are grounded today --
There are too many cracks in the plane."
--- Al Chaplin 3024 P9005
Came over the hill into sight
Of two Scottish cops,
With their measuring box,
To catch speeding cars. One says: "Right...
--- Anon
Let's check on the speed of that one,"
So at the Tornado
Without further say so,
He points with his detector gun.
--- Anon
The pilot's alarmed.
--- Anon
Who really might have come a cropper,
Dutch Jan pushed
He thought it no sport,
The missile stayed put, he'd not drop 'er.
--- Anon
This is file ehl
ing those pedals; it seemed you were hump-
ing my hollyhock, dear;
It excited me...here...
I could not take my eyes off your rump.
--- Peter Wilkins
But just as you shouted, "I'm coming!"
You crashed once again,
While I sailed down the lane
With a stiffy outstanding and humming.
--- Peter Wilkins
And I braked with such violence, I fear,
That I flew through the air
And I landed just...there...
No, this cycling's a stupid idea!
--- Peter Wilkins
Of good transport; not push-bikes, of course;
And you've damaged the wheels
Of my automobiles,
So I guess you could borrow my horse.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose pants leg got caught in his sprocket.
When his crotch hit the bar,
Young Kenny sat stars,
And knew his balls were now in his pocket.
--- Laurence Craft
I stick to the overland pike;
I never use rivers --
They give me the shivers,
For my barque is much worse than my bike.
--- Norm Storer P9207
But it's not to my beloved's liking.
She rants, "Rose, not red!
What's wrong with your head?
Wear your helmet when you go out biking!"
--- Spencer
Tells all her girl friends, "Honey,
If you girls want a man,
Ride your bike when you can:
The odds are at least fifty to one-y!"
--- Anon
Who on cycling and juggling was keen.
One day he tried both
Though his girl friend was loath;
Changed his name overnight to 'Doreen'.
--- Anon
Who had whiskers on half of her face.
As you may surmise,
She garnished first prize
At a six-day bisexual race.
--- G2531
Is a job, 'cause they all look alike.
Until they're designed
To be easy to find,
I suggest that you purchase a trike.
--- Peter Wilkins
Each morning on her bicyclette...
You think these streets, cobbled,
Will do what a knob'ld?
You watch where she sticks that baguette!
--- Tiddy Ogg
And excited Sally just moans,
And sighs as she glides
In a daze while she rides
The circle paved with cobblestones.
--- Anon
On the bike that she rode down to Crete;
She elected a byway
Instead of a hiway,
To maximize cobblestone street.
--- Hugh Clary
"We relicts haul a real heavy load;
But don't rot on the shelf;
Try indulging yourself:
Ride your bike on a cobblestone road."
--- Armand E Singer 824
Would stop at the traffic lights.
If only they could
Ride where they should,
I'd drive slowly and take in the sights.
--- Ron O P9102
And later complained that the hike hurt.
He said, "A good lay
Makes the pain go away."
But she said, in her crotch was a bike hurt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2257
When he needed a piss from the strain.
But when closing his zip,
He caught his little dick,
And screamed as it cut through his vein.
--- Anon
Who rode on a Dutch boy's new bike.
She started to pee
All over his knee,
So his finger he stuck in the dyke.
--- David Miller
In Paris, on bikes, had to pause.
Exclaimed Sister Rene,
"It's fun coming this way,
These cobblestoes must be the cause.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9507A
On her bicycle, on rough terrain,
"I've enjoyed every ounce
Of the jiggle and bounce,
But I'll never come this way again."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Who went for a trip on his wheel.
He pedalled for days
Through crepuscular haze,
And returned feeling somewhat unreal.
--- Edward Gorey
Always peddled her cunt on a bike.
She sniggered, "The seat
Keeps my pussy in heat,
Which of course, is an item I like."
--- Gramd Prix Lim 9 G2247
For drugs, must investigate Lance.
But we shouldn't be nervous
'Cause our Postal Service
Hires no one performance enhanced.
--- Dr Limerick 11-07-00
Soon learned she preferred mountain bikin'.
For when hiking on rocks,
"Yuckies" stuck to her socks.
(Itchy crisp crunchies called lichen.)
--- Beaker
It's something all humans should like?
With natural grace,
Fall into embrace --
But me? I fall off of my trike.
--- Marlene Lewis
But I'm sure there are girlies who like
To go riding side-saddle;
Their pussies astraddle
The end of that saddle-less spike.
--- Peter Wilkins
We all know why girls ride side-saddle.
That seat up your snatch
Can give a good scratch,
But when you dismount, you will waddle.
--- Frank Sfa
How all this bike riding would go.
My bike is worn out,
But please do not pout.
You could give my tires a blow.
--- Marlene Lewis
Or sit and read books for awhile.
But the best dividends
Come from time spent with friends;
I'm not rich, but I manage to smile.
--- Jerry Nordal
I look in my shorts in dismay.
I'd quit riding my bike,
But I'm not keen to hike;
My plans for a family mislaid.
--- Anon
On my bicycle," uttered Miss Lynn.
"But are you aware
That the saddle's not there?"
I said. "Yes," she replied with a grin.
--- Peter Wilkins
No unleaded nor even four star.
But I'll get on my bike
And go where I like,
As long as it's not very far.
--- Ally Belfagan
Who loved to ride on his bike.
One day in the fall
He drove into a wall;
From now on he'd just rather hike.
--- Zekow TP9804
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