MORE
While taking a walk just last June, Ingenious indeed was young Hugh; A very keen cyclist named Eels After work I was really quite beat; A whore with a face like a hound, A peppy young boy name of Michael "If reincarnated, I'd like He died and his wish did come true; There was a bicyclist named Lucy, Among Amsterdam roads ossified, A gallant young Frenchman named Brandon, While biking, a whore name of Gump A bicycle buff name of Pete A lad in our town folks called Pete, A bicycle buff name of Keats While taking a walk just last June, That June was so wet, she would paddle, 'Twas I that made that excursion; Amid all the jeers and applause When a cyclist with tastes kind of blue A girl on a tandem I need, And when we dismount from the bike, Now'd you know I mean dike and not dyke, Though bruised, an old lady from Michigan, On my ten-speed I plan to go flying, It isn't defiance, my sweet, I confess, biking's more than a dare; I've savoired the smell of a rose, An American cyclist called Lance The B sample says he's a cheater, An ilicit alchemic supply (Tour de France cyclists used ilicit drugs 1998)
In the last Tour de France, Anton Shykel I met a French girl at the Tour; The alps witnessed plenty of pluck (2006 Tour de France)
A biker called Dangerous Clyde A cautious yonng fellow named Purvis, I once knew a burley old biker, A young man from the backwoods of Utah, From Dover, a biker named Keith, The Brits still line up in a queue, There once was a tattooed young biker Motorcyclists Sally and Kent, An unskillful rider from Rill There was a young woman named Psyche, When travelling in Holland by bike, A hot-tempered biker named Dwight, Our garden has fairies at the end; "I don't care what the wowsers may think. (wowsers -
prudes) "You blind date's a real angel," she swore A tired old cowhorse named Unk Have you met the lady from Greeley, There once was a fellow named Mike There once was a fellow named Michael Dressed up in her jodhpurs and spurs, A female motorcyclist from Crete, A young motor cyclist from East Kent, There was a young fellow and suitor, There was a man from Capooter, A young lady hiker from Hamble The wretched wretch, Fletcher Van Dyke, Said a priest with a big motorcycle, While traveling through Holland by bike, On a hot summer's day on his bicycle, I can't get my bicycle inspired. There was a young lady of Gorton, There was a young man from Westhorton,
A crazed and perverted old loon
Was caught sniffing seats,
By cops on the beats,
While searching for bicycle poon.
--- Anon
His girl also cleverness knew.
For a ride they did go
And had three in a row
On a bicycle fashioned for two.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0205
Built a bike that had two oval wheels.
And if you asked why,
As he passed, he'd reply:
"I just want to know how it feels."
--- Funfax Limericks
Biking home I felt cold on my seat.
The wind it had shifted;
My skirt it had lifted;
I was pedaling my arse on the street!
--- Anon
Complained that her sales were down.
Till a lover named Michael
Bought her a cycle,
Now she pedals ass all over town.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said "Making the trip on my bike'll
Be faster I bet.
If things I forget,
I guess I'll just have to recycle."
--- Anon
To be," said philosopher Mike,
Not fish, fowl, or jackass.
I want to come back as
The saddle on young Katie's bike.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A consequence happening to few.
But oh, how he cussed
And lost all his lust
For she sold it to fat sweaty Lou.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whose sweet little twat was quite juicy.
She'd ride 'til she came,
Okay, the rest is quite lame...
But I still love to think of her pussy!
--- Anon
Two girls on their bikes took a ride.
One turned to say
"I've never come this way."
It's the cobblestones," the other replied.
--- Res Ipsa a
Was attempting a girl on a tandem.
At the height of the make,
She slammed on the brake,
And scattered his semen at random.
--- L1168
Sucked the seat up her cunt with a whump.
She was thilled with delight
So she rammed it up tight
With the end of a bicycle pump.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2977
Would cycle each day with his sweet;
Then he'd send her away
And the rest of the day
He would sniff at the bicycle seat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8708
Had a fetish he thought really neat.
It was funny, the fix,
In the way he got kicks.
He would sniff a girl's bicycle seat!
--- Clarence E Boyle P8708
Watched the girls doing bicycle feats.
And right after they raced,
He ran over in haste
To sniff at the bicycle seats.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1872
A crazed and perverted old loon
Was caught sniffing seats
By a cop on the beat,
While searching for bicycle poon.
--- Archie
Whenever she sat on the saddle.
But when she'd dismount,
Stiff heads you could count;
Instead of a sashay, she'd waddle.
--- Cubby
But why do you call it perversion?
When you've not a buck
To pay for a fuck,
It makes for a pleasant diversion.
--- Tiddy Ogg
On his stag-night, young Timothy scores
With the neighborhood bicycle;
Once, twice and thricycle.
Guess he'll soon notice the sores.
--- Anon
Spotted twins, he knew just what to do.
He would roundly demand 'em
"Let's do it in tandem;
This bicycle's well built for two."
--- Rory Ewins
In front of me working up speed.
I'd watch her cute rump
With a yearning to hump;
It would give me great pleasure, indeed!
--- PeterW
At the nearest convenient dike,
I'd show her my stuff
And dive on her muff
Or most anything else she would like.
--- Peter Wilkins
Those mannish girls other girls like.
If for four days in a row
You want semen to flow,
Stay away from a tandem bike.
--- S C Saint
To ride on a bike had an itch again;
But just as before,
Her steering was poor,
And she finished, head first, in the ditch again.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Ignoring judgmental friends' sighing.
Down the hill, what a rush!
On my face there's a flush --
'Tis age, not gravity, I'm defying.
--- Jenni Saqua
Nor chronologic defeat,
That keeps you astride
That ten-speed two-wheeled ride,
But bouncing around on the seat.
--- Cyber Wizard
'Tis my figure about which I care.
But right now I must swim
If I want to stay slim;
When I return, we'll discuss savoir-faire?
--- Jenni Saqua
And savoired some girls I suppose.
But you make me wary;
You said "savoir-faire?"
I never could savoir one of THOSE!
--- Peter Wilkins
Had a win in the great Tour de France,
For the seventh straight year,
Then retired. So it's clear
That next year someone else has a chance.
--- Jul 2005
Who took stuff to make himself fleeter.
It's really pathetic,
He's wanking synthetic
Testosterone out of his peter.
--- Randog
Brought a Tour de France coach, a goodbye.
Though the coach was ill-stressed,
And some cyclists depressed,
Seems, in general, they're still riding high.
--- Knotweed
Was dismissed by those sneering, "Your bike'll
Not survive the next grade."
But his timing dismayed
Then. His was a circadian cycle.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9407
Our peloton soon hit the floor, (group of bycicle riders?)
And under her dress
There were two Alpe's D'Huez
With a Categorie of hors.
This is file egl
But Landis has run out of luck.
The jersey was Floyd's,
But now (due to 'roids?)
Testosterone's running amok.
Asked Suzy would she be his bride.
Though she didn't adore him,
She thought, "Why ignore him,
I'll just go along for the ride."
--- Evelyn Bogen P9711
Said, "No, of course I'm not nervous.
It's just that I like
To travel on a bike.
A bus could end up topsy-turvis."
--- Baxter Gill Blue Peter
Who picked up a sexy hitchhiker.
Between her sweet thighs,
She straddled his prize,
And there's no other rider quite like her.
--- Bob Birch P0302
Fell in love with his motorised scooter.
He ran into a horse,
Which led to a divorce,
As he broke both his legs and his hooter!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Would ride north to reach Cowdenheath;
His face wreathed in smiles,
For 500 miles.
We knew by the bugs on his teeth.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To buy bikes having toilets (it's true!).
It's their cup of tea;
They don't stop to pee;
A bicycle just built for loo.
--- Al Willis T9712
That came up on a lovely young hiker.
When asked for a ride,
He leaned to one side,
And said "Come on, climb on my striker."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Long saddles, they thought heaven-sent.
She'd sit backwards to front,
Kent's cock in her cunt,
And come while she watched where she went.
--- Number Two P9009a
Motor-cycled full speed down a hill,
Till a spill at a bend
Killed our willful young friend,
And he now in the churchyard ]ies still.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Who was heard to ejaculate "Crikey!"
For when riding her bike
She ran over a tyke,
And fell on some rails that were spikey.
--- Anon
Something happened that I didn't like.
I had a mishap
When I hit a Dutch Cap
And my finger got stuck in a dyke.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Quite suddenly vanished from sight.
Seems he was engaged
In a quarrel, and enraged,
He just flew off the handle one night.
--- Evelyn Bogen P9401
Well that's what we like to pretend.
In fact it's a pub
With a gay bikers club;
To be correct, like them, we bend.
--- Tony Burrell
But my knockers are loopy. (knockers - critical people)
--- A N Wilkins P8610
(I imagined aesthetics galore);
When I answered the bell
I discovered a Hell
'S Angel, studs and all, at the door.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405
Was replaced by a bike with more spunk;
One day with a squall,
To the wonder of all,
He reduced his replacement to junk.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Who's adept at popping a wheelie?
She hit a large bump
And lit with a thump
And landed clear over in Ely.
--- Marlene
Who traveled through town on a bike;
He met a young lass
With a beautiful ass
But he found out that she was a dyke.
--- Anon
Who made love to a small motorcycle.
With the revs and the vrooms,
There were too many fumes,
And the following morning found Mike ill.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Letitia rides out through the furze.
The problem, of course,
She hasn't a horse,
And the bike that she rides isn't hers.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Had a butt just too big for her seat.
Speeding ninety for a lark,
She let a big fart
And reduced her fat ass on concrete.
--- Laurence Craft
Had a front wheel decidedly bent.
At a local road junction,
The brake ceased to function;
He revived in an oxygen tent.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who rode into church on his scooter.
He knocked down the Dean,
And said, "Sorry, old bean!
I ought to have sounded by hooter."
--- Anon
Who used to ride on a scooter.
His famous trick
Was to stand on his prick,
And use his ass for a hooter.
--- Bill
Met her sad fate on a ramble.
I'm sorry to say
She happened to stray
In the path of a motorbike scramble.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Tried to peen a teen queen on his bike...
They got so intent
That the handlebars bent,
And Van Dyke scraped it off on the pike!
--- Grand Prix Lim 593
"I wonder how fast this bike'll
Go round a turn,
I've got to learn."
He's now shaking hands with St. Michael.
--- Tom Patton
Something happened that I didn't like:
There was a small fault
When I hit the asphalt,
And my finger got stuck in a dyke.
--- Bill Wall
Lenny peddles while eating an icicle.
If he loses his grip,
He will start to slip,
And he'll wish that he still had his tricycle.
--- Anon
I end up all hot and perspired.
When I want it to go,
It just sits and says, "No!"
I ask, "Why?" It replies, "I'm two tired!"
--- Tom Patton
Who had one big teat and one short 'un.
To make up for that
She'd a bloody great twat,
And a fart like a 500 Norton.
--- Anon A
Who had an incredibly short 'un.
To make up for his loss,
He had balls like a hoss,
And a stroke like a 650 Norton.
--- Anon A
MORE