MORE

There was a young woman from Horton;
She had a long tit and a short 'un.
Besides from that
She'd a nice juicy twat,
And would fart like an 850 Norton.
--- Anon

A quite callow fellow named Fonda,
Was dating a biker named Rhonda.
He'd do what he'd like
On top of her bike;
He was certainly fonda Rhonda's Honda!
--- CM

There once was a woman named Rhonda,
Who looked like a black anaconda.
Delightfully haunted
And dumb, for she wanted
To trade menstrual cycle for Honda.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Ginger's a sort of a scooter
With motors and onboard computer,
And gyroscope balance
For riding sans talent,
Sans fitness, sans practice, sans tutor.
--- Dr Limerick 12-03-01

Is this revolution sublime?
It may save a few steps and time.
It looks like great fun,
But when alls said and done,
Just a vacuum for rich peoples dimes.
--- Dr Limerick 12-03-01

I took my gal on a Suzuki,
But never again, it was spooky.
That bike's strong vibrations
Gave Erm such sensations,
I couldn't compete... got no nookie!
--- Tiddy Ogg

The youthful but decorous Jackie
Rode off on her new Kawasaki.
She returned with a tan
And a polished young man,
And a stock of his chewing tobaccy.
--- Anon

A trail biker said to his bride,
"There's something I still can't decide.
I'm not sure if I'm fonda
Of you or my Honda,
'Cause the Honda's a much smoother ride."
--- Pierce Evans

I knew a poor devil named Breeze,
Who had Kawasaki disease --
Not swollen lymph nodes,
But slippery roads:
He racked up his bike in the trees.
--- Armand E Singer 983

There was a young woman named Wanda,
Who loved sex on the back of a Honda.
That bike's choking spasms
Gave her many orgasms --
'Twas a feeling that Wanda was fonda!
--- Anon

At sixteen I sighed as I hoped
For a bike like a Harley. I groped
In my pocket for cash
And bought something more flash,
And then sat on my moped and moped.
--- Peter Wilkins

A perverted molester named Lyle,
From the playground lived many a mile.
So to stalk his young cooter
He bought him a scooter,
And now he's a moped-ophile.
--- Geri Desu

A spokesman for Big Oil Men,
Was arrested for corporate sin,
When he sounded their knell,
"The Chairman of Shell
Is now chauffeured to work on a Schwinn."
--- Cyber Geezer

Hey fellow, if you're boffing Wanda
In London on top of your Honda,
Make sure that the deed
Is done at high speed,
When giving her your anaconda.

(illegal to have sex on parked motorcycle in London)
--- Travis

But now a scheme I have hatched;
If you and the girl are well-matched,
Slide off of the seat
And steer with your feet,
While you boff in the sidecar attached.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Your scheme is not for your bride,
Who'd never consent to that ride;
I guess one could say
With certainty, "Hey,
Now this is for 'strange on the side!'
--- Travis Brasell

There once was a man with two chins
Who built bicycles for twins.
He had on hand
A suitable brand:
He called them his Siamese Schwinns.
--- Bob Polecat

I once had a used Vespa scooter;
The first part that broke was the tooter.
As I lived in Belfast,
I replaced it at last;
'Twas a new one that played Phil the Fluter.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

My favourite chocolate is Snickers,
And I like wearing ladies silk knickers.
My name is Big Mike
And I ride a big bike --
A Yamaha, just like the Vicar's.
--- Anon

A little old lady from Prague
Got lost late one night in the fog.
At some biker bar,
Abandoned her car --
Came home on a big Harley Hawg.
--- Anon

Grinned a gritty Hell's Angel named Charlie,
"Get my kicks sudden gunning my Harley";
(He slammed into a tree,
Leaving little to see,
But red guts, busted bone, and some barley.)
--- Armand Singer

A homely old biker named Farley
Tried and failed to make love on his Harley.
When he tried for a pass,
He fell flat on his ass --
He'd drunk too much booze made from barley.
--- CM

A bearded old biker named Charlie,
Took a very long ride on his Harley.
He knew that his hog,
Created no smog,
'Cause he ran it on hops and malt barley.
--- Popsicle TP9806

There was a young lady named Carly,
With tresses the color of barley.
This biker guy dumped her
Because when he humped her,
Her pubic hair clashed with his Harley.
--- D Kilgore a

Famous Harley Hawg biker, "Snake Snyder,"
Is at least four feet wide, maybe wider.
He's somewhat more soiled,
And invariably oiled;
He's that unwashed icon, "Greasy Rider."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh

There was an old biker named Squirrel,
Whose fifteen-inch crank had a curl.
When he swung it just right, he
With all of his might, he
Kick-started his hog in one twirl.
--- H Welchel

A thieving old fellow named Charlie
Was arrested while riding a Harley.
They wrote in the log:
"It isn't his Hog,
And his lawyer's requesting a parley."
--- Cyber Geezer

There was thrice a clown named Charlie,
Rode he a cycle, a Harley.
He'd ride it all day
Like a badger through hay,
Or perhaps a titmouse through barley.
--- David Robbins

A leather-clad lady called Madeleine,
One day her machine she was stradeleine,
That Harley's vibration,
Meant lost concentration,
And soon in the creek she was padeleine.
--- Anon

I'll tell you of my cousin Gillian;
That gal was a gal in a million.
Fantastic, I know,
But she'd give me a blow
While riding on my Harley's pillion.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Once went to a bar that was gnarly,
And rode in upon my man's Harley.
When coming back home,
A sign hit the chrome,
Cop said "Don't mix bikes with barley!"
--- Anon

While drinking the juice of the barley,
She listens to wailing Bob Marley,
And wait till some guy'd
Take her for a ride,
Astride of his Norton or Harley.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I once knew a rough girl named Carly
Who liked her sex real gnarly;
With a dildo that's lumpy,
On a road really bumpy,
On the back of a seventy-four Harley!
--- Anon

This is file efl

Traversing off road and through bogs,
In blistering heat, rain and fogs,
To the Wisconsin parlays
On their expensive Harleys,
Came the motley gangs of pigs on hogs.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310

I know a lady from Sturgis;
Each year on her porch she perches.
As the Harley's come through,
What's a girl to do?
She has got strong sexual urges.
--- Gearhart

She waits for her time to pounce
On a biker she wants to bounce
Up and down on his hog
And on his log.
She's kept track of all previous mounts.
--- Gearhart

There once was a biker named Charley,
Who threw a leg over his Harley,
Then raced on his hog
Until he hit a log,
And flew into a field growing barley.
--- William K Alsop Jr

A strapping young sailor from Venice
Was put in the Great Book of Guinness.
Round the world with his cat,
Nothing special 'bout that,
But he sailed on a 30-foot pinnace.
--- Jackal

On the stormfront the waters were rising
And the captain was quietly surmising:
If the supper he ate
Would add enough weight
To result in his lifeoat capsizing.
--- Anon

He alone watched his yacht going down,
Thinking night was a bad time to drown,
And the distance to shore
Was a hundred miles more
That his fragile old arms could expound.
--- Anon

Soon the sun gave its last bit of light
And the auburn sky turned into night.
As he peered all around
The horizon, he found
Not one hope of salvation in sight.
--- Anon

He prepared with a smile just to die;
Then he thought to himself "Wait now! Why
Should a real-world restriction
Bind me like this? I'm fiction!"
So he changed his boat into Hawaii.
--- Anon

There's a ship called "Dangerous Curls"
Whose crew is entirely girls.
Their mission: To hunt
For alien cunt
And their hobby is muff diving for pearls.
--- Brodie Esperance

There was an old pander from Perth
Kept a cruise ship tied at its berth,
With an all female crew
Knowing just what to do.
(And he charged only twice what they're worth.)
--- John Miller

It isn't the size of the ship,
Nor the rock of the boat, she did quip.
What is not to scoff
Is for all to get off
While the vessel is docked in the slip.
--- Steverino

A lady who hails from Krakow,
Loves sailors her furrow to plow.
A magnum of D.P.
Is what she longs to be,
So that she can be banged 'cross the bow.

(D.P. - Dom Perignon Champagne)
--- H Welchel

A poodle went sailing one night
In a yacht that was not water-tight.
Under this circumstance
You could tell at a glance,
That his barque was much worse than his bite.
--- Anon

There once was a captain named Bligh
Whose ship, the Bounty, would ply
The seas, flags aflyin',
While Bligh, like a lion,
Ate a Christian, now and then, on the sly.
--- Arthur Deex P8308

The C&D Canal's my view,
Where tankers and ships all pass through,
As they make their way,
Down the Chesapeake bay,
Or up to the Atlantic blue.
--- Anon

The radar was not finely tuned;
The helmsman was seasick and swooned...
With paint both were freighted,
Red and blue neatly crated.
The collision left both crews marooned.
--- Ogni Gioia a

As she staggered from Jonathan's cruiser,
Ann said, "Man that cruise was a doozer!
With six men sluicing me,
I did not see the sea,
So your cruiser was more of a screwser!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 680

A rich, rigid young man in Biscayne
Rides a loving house boat gravy train!
With three girls all about,
Up and down, in and out,
He sheet-anchors a hot daisy chain...
--- Grand Prix Lim 756

I'm down here in Dover perchance,
To espy you arriving from France.
Standing up on the deck
Looking gorgeous by heck,
What commotion there is in my pants.
--- Anon

Oh bugger; St. Malo you say?
You'll be landing in Portsmouth today?
Ma cher Kitten, please wait;
I'll be there before eight.
(Come on train-driver, take it away!)
--- Anon

Hey Kitten, it's me on the shore!
You look scrumptious! I'll open the door
Of this train; step inside
And we'll go for a ride.
Let me lead you, my sweet, by the paw.
--- Anon

A chippy whose name was O'Dare
Sailed on a ship to Kenmare,
But this cute little honey
Had left home her money,
So she laid the whole crew for her fare.
--- L1044

In December, a woman named Terry
Would ride back and forth on the ferry.
Each time she passed by,
She would screw a new guy,
And that's one way to make Christmas merry.
--- Isaac Asimov

That our ships might converse on the seas,
We would hoist out our flags in the breeze.
To the landsmen we say,
But can't seem to convey
That BLUE PETER is not a disease.
--- The Sailor P0307

As a sail tames the wind from abeam,
So our mates train their teams as they scream!
The captain's the worst,
With cruel temper he's cursed:
A proleptical full head of steam!
--- Anon

If the question were only between us,
Could the name of the ship have been Venus?
Her figurehead bowed;
At the mast standing proud,
A towering titan of penis?
--- Anon

A slave oarsman on the queen's schooner
Was hailed by the queen for a 'nooner'.
The queen to him spoke:
"I love your long stroke;
Tomorrow we'll nooner much sooner!"
--- Travis Brasell

There are men in the village of Erith,
Whom nobody seeth or heareth.
They spend hours afloat,
In a flat-bottomed boat,
Which nobody roweth or steereth.
--- Anon

In Poland, the whole Navy gloats
If you ask 'bout the shape of their boats.
But everyone's seen
Their new submarine;
When put in the water, it floats!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A man called J. Arthur Rank
Bought a yacht from a millionaire Yank.
"It's the safest yet built;
Insured to the hilt."
It made no difference -- it sank.
--- Spike Milligan

Anthropologist J. Wilson Tripp
Was considered to have lost his grip.
He caused colleagues to smirk
When he titled his work,
"One Man's Junk is Another Man's Ship."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0103

I'm attached to that tree by a thread!
Quick! Pull my dress over my head!
At last we are free!
As I row, I can see
That your gear is still gritty and red.
--- Anon

But look here! This dugout canoe
Has a grass skirt, practically new!
And a necklace of flowers --
(Won't you lei me for hours?)
Will you row while I go to the loo?
--- Anon


MORE