Said the submarine captain, "A small A submarine's not called a ship Although by my birth I'm Britannic, Enjoying a trip on Titanic Noah's Ark was built in a panic, While sailing across the Atlantic, When they raised the Titanic, they found Old Marge, with boobs of renown, There was a young girl named Marge Now Marge couldn't possibly drown Though the bosomy part of young Marge The mates at the stern with a hook out, Just watch those two go to town in As they lay on a quilt filled with down, "My Heart Will Go On" -- well on what? "My heart will go on," Winslet sighed, As the good ship Titanic went down, Do a sequel? They're sure to say yes, Titanic, that big ship of late, About Leo, the girls are fanatic, There was a man called Delzanic There once was a young lady named Rose The first mate watched the captain drown, There was a young man, very frantic, "Now hear this," announced Captain Annick, An old maid, a luckless romantic, A nutty young woman, quite manic, Enjoying a trip on Titanic -- The iceberg the Titanic hit In the lifeboats, when worst comes to worst, It's Dicaprio's movie, to some, Locked in handcuffs, Jack's patience is taxed, If you fear going into the drink,
This is file ecl
On board the Titanic she cruised; McDuff from the Highlands and Glens The Duchess in all of her furs, "Oh baby," he said as she cried. "Whatever, my dear, is the matter?" In anguish he cried, "I'm undone! While travelling in Titanic's third class, Sinking slowly from sight, the Titanic There once was a traveling Hispanic I once took the Concorde to France Enjoying a trip on Titanic, Noah's sons thought the old man was manic, "My Heart Will Go On" -- Well, on what? A storm in the northern Atlantic Enjoying a trip on Titanic, Enjoying a trip on Titanic, Of all of the liners Britannic, Code word on the Titanic was "drown." Enjoying a trip on Titanic, Acting on PR advice, (PR - Public Relations)
Enjoying a trip on Titanic, The difference between a liner oceanic, The Titantic's first voyage. Don't let it The Oscars -- the talk of the town; The Titanic they said was unsinkable, I have booked us a fabulous trip After paying the cost of admission, The Titanic had done the unthinkable, A beauty from somewhere Hispanic, That night she felt real esoteric; The men were attending their thirst "We'd like to have you ride the bus. There was a young girl from France,
"Japanese fishing boat's, quite a haul.
And though I realize
That ten tons wins no prize,
For peacetime it's not bad at all."
--- Arthur Deex P0104
By those who sail her and are hip.
She sails out 'neath the seas,
As quiet as you please,
Then comes back to her berthing slip.
--- William K Alsop Jr
The sight of the sea makes me panic.
The only good wave
Is the one Sally gave
When she cancelled her trip on Titanic.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Were people quite megalomanic.
There were humble poor, too,
Down on decks out of view,
But everyone joined in the panic.
--- Anon
By some amateurs, Messianic;
Who did not eschew
To try something new...
Professionals built the Titanic.
--- David Miller
A passenger on the Titanic,
Asked a steward for ice...
"That will more than suffice,
But isn't it awfully gigantic?"
--- Observer TP9901
That the band had survived and not drowned.
They hadn't gone far,
They were still in the bar,
And that is why Humph's still around.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Didn't worry -- 'cause she wouldn't drown!
If she would've shared,
Lives could've been spared,
The night the Titanic went down!
--- Anon
Whose breasts were unusually large.
Invited to go boating
She found herself floating
In the arms of her lover, Sarge.
--- Anon
Those floaters just wouldn't go down.
When the boat started sinking
Without even blinking,
"Tits Overboard in a nightgown!"
--- Anon
Wasn't quite so Titanically large,
It was big enough, true,
To be used by the crew
As a large inflatable barge.
--- Anon
Catching fish for tomorrow nights cookout.
The captain, a queers man,
Is boffing the steersman,
While Marge is aloft with the lookout.
--- Anon
The middle of everyone drownin'.
His balls she did blow
On that little ice floe,
While loudly they're moanin' and groanin'.
--- Arden
A loud ripping noise made her frown,
And pause in the suck.
He said, "What the fuck?
I think that we're both going down."
--- Frank Fazed
A song of a fag and a slut.
While that big boat was sinking,
I couldn't help thinking,
This movie is numbing my butt.
--- Deep Goat TP9807a
Making the audience cry.
The hell with her heart!
My favorite part
Was watching DiCaprio die!
--- Kitt
A lady in shimmering gown
From her glass took a sip,
Kept a stiff upper lip,
And commenced, most discreetly, to drown.
--- Beelzebub
With Titanic's enormous success.
They'll have Winslett, who's hexed
Ride the Hindenberg next,
With Dicaprio's twin, I would guess.
--- Larry Hollister
Suffered a real terrible fate.
Reminds me of a girl
Which whom I had a whirl;
She went down...on the very first date!
--- Les Stewart
But here's why their boyfriends don't panic:
It gives the world's males
A line that can't fail:
"Hey baby! Go down like Titanic!"
--- Anon
Whose girlfriend would suddenly panic.
We don't know why;
He's such an nice guy;
And had gone down on all but the Titanic!
--- Bobby
Pursued by two diferent beaus.
She hated the cad,
Fell in love with the lad;
When Titanic went under, he froze.
--- Jim Reynolds TP9802
Saying, "Yeah, he deserves it, the clown.
First he made a pass,
But I showed his ass --
Here's one guy who just won't go down!"
--- Kaylin
Who bought tickets on the Titanic.
The ship hit some ice;
The rest is not nice.
He's somewhere out in the Atlantic.
--- D'Arcy
"You passengers don't need to panic;
To be quite precise,
It's just broken ice --
Remember, this ship's the Titanic.
--- Armand E Singer 810
Said, as she crossed the Atlantic:
"Now is my chance
To find true romance
On this beautiful ship, the Titanic!"
--- New Comic Limericks P8506
Sailed off on the good ship Titanic.
The iceberg -- it stunned her
And as she went under,
Her manic attack became panic.
--- Marsha Magee
If it only were more Puritanic!
Might have lasted more hours --
After all, the Mayflower's
Famous voyage was transoceanic!
--- Prof M-G
Dit dit dit, dah dah dah, dit dit dit.
With rescue too far,
One last dah dah dah,
Dit dit dit, dah dah dah ended it.
--- Irving Superior
All the women and children go first.
But the rich guy gets on
With a bribe and a con,
While our heroes get coldly immersed.
--- Larry Hollister
And he's certainly not feeling glum.
He's a heart-throb; a star;
Will his pride go too far?
Just how big will his capsize become?
--- Larry Hollister
While his girlfriend's adrenaline's maxed.
To escape from this room
And a watery tomb,
He's just waiting, it seems, to be axed.
--- Larry Hollister
Then this ship's not as safe as you think.
Once the hull breaks the ice,
Things are not very nice.
Everything but the kitchen will sink!
--- Larry Hollister
With the Captain she flirted, amused.
"So how about bed?"
He said. Shaking her head,
She said, "No, but I'll see you next Tuesd..."
--- Peter Wilkins
With young Jenny crept into the men's;
A quick "hows-yer-father"
And after the lather,
He cheerily promised "Next Wednes..."
--- Peter Wilkins
Teased the Officer members with, "Sirs,
If you want to see more,
Come and knock on my door,
After cocktails and dinner on Thurs..."
--- Peter Wilkins
"I'm sorry," sobbed Janet and sighed.
"I fear you might leave me."
"I won't love, believe me;
We'll marry, I promise, next Frid..."
--- Peter Wilkins
Said mother to daughter. "I'm fatter."
"So go on a diet."
"Okay then, I'll try it;
But maybe I'll wait until Satur..."
--- Peter Wilkins
I've sinned at the thought of a nun."
"Don't fret," said the Abbot,
"A natural habit,
But keep it in check 'til next Sun..."
--- Peter Wilkins
Young Jack met a beautiful lass.
When the ship went down,
Jack did not let her drown.
It's a pity he could not save HIS ass.
--- Don Paul
Heaved a groan, and a few there did panic,
That they would be drawn
Undersea with a yawn,
When the hull vanished in the Atlantic.
--- Ystap TP9802
Who arranged for a trip on Titanic.
The ship hit some ice;
The rest isn't nice
And now he is part Oceanic.
--- Jim Reynolds TP9802
(On steamships I won't take a chance).
I saw that "Titanic"
And the passengers panic,
After scraping the iceberg, by chance.
--- Anon
I suddenly started to panic.
The lookout called Squeer,
Said, "No icebergs here!"
He should have been taking eye tonic.
--- Traqair TP9804
His work ethic had caused them to panic.
He fed them on oats
Like donkeys and goats,
But at least they weren't on the Titanic!
--- Rob L Staples Lib Lim
How could you fall for such smut?
With her tits all a-jiggle,
And her pussy a-wriggle,
She's such a lacivious slut!
--- Raceway TP9807
Caused a boatswain and seaman to panic.
Two tons of medicine
Called "Viagra" they jettisoned,
And that's how they raised the Titanic.
--- Res Ipsa
The head barman started to panic.
He yelled once or twice,
We've run out of ice!"
Which later, I thought was ironic.
--- H Myers TP9804
I found things were getting quite frantic.
I was having a wank
When the fucking thing sank;
When I came, it was in the Atlantic.
--- Mark Wright
Not one could compare with Titanic.
Neither iceberg nor wave
Caused her watery grave.
She sank due to forces Satanic.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807
It was soon the ship would go down.
To think it sinkable
Was simply unthinkable;
Book the next trip on the ship Molly Brown.
--- Tom Patton
With a senorita I practiced -- Hispanic.
While a lot can me said
For Mexican head,
You'd have thought she'd swallow, then panic.
--- Fgo TP9804
The Capatain announced, in a trice,
"There's no need to panic;
This is the Titanic;
We've just stopped to take on some ice."
--- Don Paul
With Kate Winslet, Leo said "Damnit!,
I thought she meant me,
When Katy said, 'Lee...
That thing is huge and we'll slam it!'"
--- Loretta F
And Bill Clinton with sex drive Satanic?
Both are big and loud;
Both are strong and are proud;
They know how many went down on Titanic.
--- H Myers a
Sail without you. You'll never forget it,
A voyage you'll no doubt
Tell grandchildren about.
If you miss it, you'll always regret it.
--- A N Wilkins P8703
Each star in tuxedo or gown.
But something went wrong,
And the show took as long
As Titanic took in going down.
--- Eleison
To put her down was simply unthinkable.
But pride and ice
Don't mix very nice
With water completely undrinkable.
--- Don Paul
On the world's first unsinkable ship.
There's no need to panic,
We're on the Titanic!
Did anyone notice a drip?
--- Richard Long
A love story without intermission,
While watching Titanic,
They felt quite romantic.
The boat sank as they longed for coition.
--- Bob Birch P9805
Though they said, "She is utterly unsinkable."
But now she is found
On some ocean floor ground,
Amidst water that's surely undrinkable.
--- Anon
Whose appetite for blowjobs was Pyrhannic,
Died trying to rasie ratio
Of performing fellatio
When she went down with the Titanic.
--- Don Paul
Blowing him she found it so frantic.
When the iceberg hit,
He came on her tit.
The last time she went down on Titanic
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With a splendid alcohol burst,
When the ship started sinking.
They carried on drinking:
"Women and children go first!"
--- Don Paul
It will save you from road-rage fuss."
Well, this is just great!
The bus, it is late.
I stand and I stop and I cuss.
--- Marlene
Who jumped on a bus in a trance.
The passengers fucked her,
Likewise the conductor;
The driver shot off in his pants.
--- Norman Douglas L0334