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In the depths of that park is a bower, Urolagnia's a steamy excursion A lovely submissive from Lisbon, There was a young man from D.C. A high pissing man they called Rand She always performed with great zeal, Said Sally, "You boys can't be wronger And nothing could make a man madder An accurate pisser named Ray, Said an elegant widow named Chase, An old stinky bum's sticky pants A ladies' pee contest was held The nurse said, "I thank you a lot." A hippy from Totem-by-Sea There once was a girl named Marie, Marsha, I'm in awe from afar, I took a hot-air balloon flight; She asked, as she wrote out her cheque, Last night,dear, in midst of our boff, Aged 8, with one's trousers undone, I knew a young lady like that! There was a young lady named Kristin In Reno there's a posh bordello A large bat I thought I did spy, A fireman's wife's hair was red; It was hailed by some women, not all; To the "toy" store the lesbians ran; A small fraction of girls in our nation The cultured young lady, Miss Fink, As of now the whole movement is through As use of the "toy" reached its crest On the market for just a few days, A whimsical lady in Troy A dyslexic young lady named Grace There was a young lady of Crete, Remember you heard this from Frank; There was a young woman named Chase A sequel to Joe and his drama: There once was a man we'll call Moe Your grandpa was really quite smart; Alone in a tunnel, I'm free! When out in the wild, fancy-free, This subject will always cause war! Woke up last night, went to pee; "This rest room is just for the misses, An old G.I. custom, long rooted, A woman who just wanted to see, The bulbously bladdered McFee No matter what you think of romance; That fight with the drops you will lose, My much younger sister, Jo Dee I once knew a fellow named Gist If you hear something go 'Bump' in the night, There once was a girl from Japan, A peevish young girl of Batoche Young Sandra says Big Sister Jan Wailed poor English author George Gissing, I'd spilled most on the floor and so then A man is a true troglodyte Let's drink and drink us some more, While pulling my pork, it turned red; There once was a fellow so fat, The seat of divorce, la toilette -- Her name was young Anna Marie, There once was a fellow whose peter At the toilet, Tom said with a grin,
Where his clients growl, "You need a shower!"
And the pervert emboldened
To suggest, "Make it golden,
And then I will pay you by the hour!"
--- Ward Hardman
Involving wetting and (rarely) submersion.
While the poor pee-ee cowers
Under warm gold showers,
The pee-er enjoys his perversion.
--- P9201
Did not really like to be pissed on
But after a year,
She got over her fear,
And says showers of gold are a turn-on!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who went to the men's room to pee.
While acting the fool,
He pulled out his tool,
Then pissed on himself and on me.
--- RenWa T9711
Could out-piss all men in the land.
But a lady named Lee
Could much higher pee
By performing an impromptu handstand.
--- Donald McGill
With a grace that seemed almost unreal.
The display was quite grand
When she did a handstand,
And superb when she did a cartwheel.
--- Donald McGee
Than peeing to see who is stronger!"
Then she laughed with a lilt,
Gave her pelvis a tilt,
And pissed a yard higher and longer!
--- John Miller
Than losing to some woman's bladder.
I've seem them some nights,
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder.
--- SFA
With impressively powerful spray,
Through amazing control,
Could pee in a bowl
From a distance of five yards away.
--- Cap'n Bean
To her friend, all decked out in lace,
"The heat of this museum
Titillates my perineum --
Pardon me while I pee in this vase.
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
Were home to dung beetles and ants.
And when he went piss,
His trousers would hiss,
But he'd just sit still in a trance.
--- H Welchel
And won by a lass who excelled
At twirling a dish
With a couple of fish,
At the end of the stream she expelled.
--- Tutta Gioia
After the fellow had peed in the pot,
"But this isn't enough,
I need more of this stuff.
"But it's all," he said, "That I've got".
--- Edwin J Weinstein P9601
Had nowheres indoors for to pee.
So he stood on the cliff
Whilst lighting a spliff,
And cause the beachcombers to flee!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who giggled like hell when she'd pee.
She thought it great fun
To watch as it run,
Down her leg where it dripped onto me
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For 'tis truly a god that you are.
But could you, in rendition,
Explain the position
You adopt to pee over a car?
--- Anon
We flew over Brant's building site.
I spotted the foreman,
That bastard named Norman,
And pissed on him from a great height.
--- Anon
"Where's the loo? I'm bursting, by heck!"
With greatest of haste,
She bent from the waist
And peed from the hole in her neck.
--- Anon
I did unexpectedly cough,
And to my chagrin,
Mucous dripped from your chin,
And I'm sorry that I pissed you off!
--- Observer
Pissing contests were always great fun.
Over walls you could reach a
Great height; but if teacher
Was standing behind it, you'd run!
--- Anon
She could pee on the brim of a hat!
Out of her tunnel
And into a funnel,
She had peeing in thin lines down pat!
--- Chris Bolivar
Who looked for a job to assist in;
On horseback she rode
To the nearest commode,
To locate the pot that she pissed in.
--- Anon
Whose whore's morals are shaky as Jello.
Especially one Leah
Who fakes urolangnia;
'Stead of pissing she pours Mello Yello.
--- Harry Rubin P9205
But 'twas Batman unzipping his fly.
On top of a building,
He whipped out his Bat-thing,
And pissed on me, right in my eye!
--- Coolbreeze
His job had quite gone to his head.
His wife let out "Ohhh"s
As he pull out his hose,
Then peed on her then on the bed.
--- Anon
We're no longer confined to a stall.
It will be very nice
When we use this device;
We can pee like the men 'gainst a wall.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
They came by plane, bus, boat or van.
"Toy's not just for pissing.
It supplies what we're missing --
The very best part of a man."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
Wanted permanent 'toy' installation.
But the mainstream girls said,
"You're not using your head
The toy will obstruct fornication."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
Had a little bit too much to drink;
She let the toy dangle,
Rotated the angle,
And carelessly peed in the sink.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
A woman is threatening to sue
She's stuck with the spout
She can't get it out
So the poor girl can no longer screw.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
At girls' colleges - even the best
Girls lined up to see
How far they could pee
And thus the first pissing contest.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
The toy was adopted by gays,
Because they found out
With its rigid spout,
They could do themselves several new ways.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
Invented a wonderful toy.
Made of stiff composition
When placed in position
She could pee standing up like a boy.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
This is file dwm
Her toy did improperly place.
The toy upside down,
She thought she would drown,
When she peed straight up into her face.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
Who could piss exceedingly neat.
When she got out of bed,
She stood on her head,
To make sure of not soiling her feet.
--- Anon
Just so they all know who to thank:
Take care when you've peed,
For it is decreed
That more than three shakes is a wank.
--- Frank
Who pissed in a Florentine vase,
And gave as excuse:
"My God, what's the use
Of tramping all over the place."
--- G1370
Wrote his name in the snow when it's warmer.
But his penmanship's poor,
When depositing spoor;
Couldn't even perfect grade school Palmer.
--- Irish
Whose piddle was exceedingly slow.
After his prostate was drilled
His wish was fulfilled,
To write his name in the snow.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Too bad you'd not take it to heart,
'Cause everyone knows
A yellow ones grows
On places where dogs do their part.
--- Azul
After all, there is no one to see
When, just for a lark
I pee in the dark,
And then piddle a drop on my knee.
--- James A. Maxwell P8409
Got hit with an urge to go pee.
According to plan,
I pissed like a man;
All over my feet, thighs, and knee.
--- Goin2
My love pulled a prank you'll adore.
'Cross the bowl he did slap
Sheets of plastic wrap...
My pee went all over the floor!
--- Anon
I missed and peed all over me.
So now I'm all wet;
You know it ain't sweat,
And I smell like the dog's favorite tree!
--- Anon
As this is the place that they pisses."
The matron did fret,
"Now the floor is all wet,
And this is because of near misses.
--- Al Willis T9711
Is to entering fledglings well-suited.
In every latrine
A bright sign is seen:
"Stand close, the next guy may be barefooted."
--- L0713
If she stood up, how far she could pee.
She'd a pardon to beg,
When it ran down her leg,
And formed icicles off her left knee.
--- Anon
Had stopped on the road for a pee.
But lacking due haste,
It all went to waist,
Then crotch, then to thigh and then knee.
--- Anon
Nor jump 'round, jiggle and dance,
Nor sling it away,
Nor beg, plead, nor pray,
The last drops go right down your pants.
--- Cyber Wizard
No matter the method you choose,
To shake them away.
With you they will stay,
In your pants, or else on your shoes.
--- Frank Fazed
Has never quite learned how to pee;
The last fitful squirts
Just ruin her sksirts,
And some drops land even on me.
--- Armand E Singer 128
Whose prick had a right-angled twist;
It cost him no end
Of bother, that bend;
It flooded his pants when he pissed.
--- Armand E Singer 603
Please try not to be scared, though you might.
It will only be me,
Getting up to go pee,
But my eyesight's no good without light.
--- Charles K Brown
Who thought of herself as a man,
But whenever she pissed,
She constantly missed,
And had to sit down on the can.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tried to pee in her brother's galosh.
Pretty mad, 'cause "The swine
Did it straight into mine,
But with me it came out all awash!"
--- Keith MacMillan 84c
Can stand up and pee like a man.
Her cascading fall
Just misses the wall,
And never quite enters the can.
--- SFA
"I've nary a pot for my pissing.
No wonder I grumble,
My digs are so humble,
That even the windows are missing."
--- Armand E Singer 468
When the nurse said to pee once again,
I gave her the cup,
That I would fill up,
And told her to clearly say "When."
--- Ogni Gioia
When his urine stream, try as he might,
Forks off on a path;
But that isn't the half;
It's the pee on the wall I dislike.
--- Anon
And nail up the ladies' room door.
Then tickle them silly,
And beg them suck willy,
While pissing like cows on the floor.
--- Anon
I thought I had died and was dead.
I was ready to come,
But I felt so damn dumb,
That I pissed on myself instead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Couldn't see where his Willie was at;
At a urinal he stood,
Taking what care he could;
Pissed his britches, and mumbled "Oh, drat!"
--- Allen Wolverton
When she/he the up/down forget.
If up, she will drop
A one more inch plop.
If down, then the surface he'll wet.
--- Irving Superior P9001
So proud of her virginity.
She was some piece of mutton
With her pierced belly button,
But the ring leaked when she took a pee.
--- Asscar Wilde T9711
Would wiggle and wobble and teeter,
So that when he pissed,
He frequently missed,
And everyone wished he were neater.
--- John Stanley
"My aim's not so good, hope it's in."
But it passed the bowl by,
And dripped down his thigh,
Till Tom soaked his shin with urine.
--- Younger Brother
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