MORE
A scientist from dark Transylvania Young Frankenstein's robot invention A scientist called Frankenstein Frankenstein's creation's a dolt; Now where can that wretched bolt be? A mad scientist, deeply depraved, The Mad Scientist ranted and raved, Said mad Victor to Mad Doctor Larrow; "Model 2," Dr. Frankenstein said, The Bride of Frankenstein was a dish! There once was a guy, Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster could sing; Doktar Frahnkensteen's creature's about, Is it true that your wife is Frau Blucher? I heard, just between me and you, A gesture (obscenely symbolical) -- When a woman is horny, to fix 'er My mother said I never should, I learned to bake hedgehogs in clay, We'd find us a nice shady glade, I rogered her three times or four, She kicked up a mighty commotion, The sight of it turned me quite pale, So come along folks, take my tip, So fellas, to maintain your mast, So if with those girlies you're dallyin' I felt pretty lousy and troubled, You know Thirty Seventh and Vine? I went in and gave her some money; "I mixed it last night, in due time! I took it and opened it quick -- I tilted my head and I drank I lost all my sense of what's right; I ran out the door and tried kissing I almost might say I misspoke, That Love Potion 'Nine' was all mine; A Troll stood by sadly for hours, Trolls come from lands far and near; Besides, basement trolls are so kind; That troll is completely bizarre, Some say that all trolls deal in charms; I've heard said that trolls are no good, A troll from under the bridge, It ate everything in my larder It ate everything on our block; I called the local police station The National Guard had been The choppers soon swarmed in the air, The body was dumped in a trench, Trolls are stuff of which legends are made, There once was a troll named Jody, There once live a troll with a style My basement is no place to be; My basement is harboring trolls. My favorite has long black hair; Her large pointed ears are so sweet, No brain is in her hollow head; Ten li'l bitty trolls form her court May I tell you of my sister Joyce, I'm sorry you've only four toes. I also abhor asininity Should we report trolls who cajole There was a man from Transylvania, A novice and nun from St. Boyd Crawling from a hole, TROGLODYTE, From his coffin does Dracula climb.
Said, "I certainly hate to detain ya,
But my son Frankenstein
Needs an ear and a spine,
An I don't think their loss would much pain ya!"
--- Charles Barsotti P9501
Caused trouble too awful to mention.
Its actions were ghoulish,
Which proves it is foolish
To monkey with Nature's intention.
--- Berton Braley
Built a monster held together with twine.
Neither one was too nice,
But their chase cross the ice
Will sent a great chill down your spine.
--- Neal Wilgus P8409
He has gone and mislaid his bolt.
There's a hole in his neck;
His head's gone by heck;
The experiment's now at aholt.
--- Tony Burrell
I saw it yesterday after tea,
When his leg fell in half
And we lost his calf.
Ah there, it's a substitute knee.
--- Tony Burrell
From dead bodies, a bride has now made;
From dead scraps and bone,
Came her feminine zone;
Only parts of it need to be shaved!
--- Anon
When his Van der Graaf gen misbehaved;
Corona did sizzle;
His bride-hulk did fizzle;
Her titties were both micro-waved!
--- Anon
"Got male parts here; do check my wheel-barrow;
There's a pud, here, to match
The most hard-to-fit snatch;
But the owners were not all straight-arrow!"
--- Anon
"Will be better: a much cuter head,
No aura of death,
No stinky bad breath,
But he'll still be a monster in bed."
--- Michael Weinstein P0406
And the lonely monster got his wish.
No more solitaire,
For now, as a pair,
They can play forever, ghoul fish.
--- Guy Ben-Moshe
Who insisted his software was fine.
I'm not really a freak,
Just the neighborhood geek,
And the girls really fall for my line.
--- Anon
What tune to our ears would he bring?
Maybe a blues number;
Perhaps a sad rhumba
Would come from the sin king of swing.
--- Gunjan Saraf
So I heard the villagers shout.
My wife's on the run;
She's looking for fun;
And she heard his "shvan-stuka" is out.
--- Anon
When mentioned, the horses rebuke her.
For arousing a steed
But refusing the deed
When he said he would pay her in sucre*. (sugar)
--- Anon
That 'blucher' is German for glue.
From my books there's no gleaning
That particular meaning --
Can anyone say if it's true?
--- Anon
She plucked some hairs (including follicle)
From her organ (sex)
For Harry (her ex) --
Served one in each drink (alcoholical).
--- Jim Weaver Collection
There's a potion for men, and it licks her
Burning need in the twat,
'Cause it sure hits the spot.
And the name of the tonic: elixir.
--- Anon
With gypsy girls play in the wood.
But like any kid,
That's just what I did,
And did things that I never would...
--- Anon
And how to skin rabbits, and May,
The long-legged vixen,
My eyes most would fix on,
And later fine games we would play.
--- Anon
She'd start to disrobe, and I prayed,
That when she had viewed
Young Ogg in the nude,
She'd reckon that I made the grade.
--- Anon
But still the bitch screamed out for more.
Got in such a lather,
That up came her father,
And told of my pitiful score.
--- Anon
But daddy he had him a notion
To increase my powers,
To stay up for hours,
And mixed up a strange herbal potion.
--- Anon
It tasted like bad ginger ale,
It smells like the crap
From a long-blocked sink trap,
But to satisfy girls it won't fail.
--- Anon
Close eyes, hold your nose, take a sip.
Compared with viagra,
This stuff's like Niagara,
And that just a holey pipe's drip.
--- Anon
The answer I have here at last.
OK it may killyer,
But you'll have a pillar,
Like you never had in times past.
--- Anon
Get Roquard (TM) and you'll be a stallion,
Now you'll change the life,
Of your girlfriend or wife,
Send now, only five bucks a galleon... er gallon.
--- Anon
'Cause years had gone by since I cuddled.
You see, I'm a flop;
The chicks just say 'stop'.
Not one of them wants to be snuggled.
--- Matthew Montchalin
That pad at the end of the line?
Ths Gypsy lives there,
With raven-black hair;
Folks pay her to just read their mind.
--- Matthew Montchalin
She looked at my hand and said "Funny!
I see what you need --
Some miracle seed,
In a pint of love potion, with honey."
--- Matthew Montchalin
You see on that label, that sign?
It's made just for you,
If love's overdue;
It's what I call Love Potion Nine."
--- Matthew Montchalin
If only it would do the trick --
And make me a hero
Instead of a zero,
And let me have any I pick!
--- Matthew Montchalin
As much as I could, though it stank.
Like ink it was black;
I didn't hold back,
And down to my knees I then sank.
--- Matthew Montchalin
I kissed everything that's in sight.
Oh, where was that Gypsy
And why was I tipsy
And why was the day black as night?
--- Matthew Montchalin
This is file dul
And hugging, embracing, caressing,
Each person in sight
In loving delight,
Till a cop ran me in for resisting.
--- Matthew Montchalin
But I tell you, it's not a bad joke.
For now I do swear,
I was in despair,
When the bottle of potion it broke.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Just go to the corner of Pine,
Then find the last pad.
Go buy what I had.
But CAREFUL, it makes you go blind!
--- Matthew Montchalin
Near where'd been two shiny bright towers.
With hot tears in his eyes,
He could not understand why,
But he hurt with the world's greatest powers.
--- Martin Calderwood
Through legends and myth they appear.
But right now, today
To the great USA
They wish comfort and love without fear!
--- Martin Calderwood
Their actions and words are refined.
They're sweet little dollies,
And none of their follies
Including picking on womankind.
--- Anon
A peripatetic clochard.
In the Bois de Boulogne
His sole eau de cologne
Is a splash from the nearest pissoir.
And are likely to do good folk harm.
But mine never do,
For they smile the day through,
And greet me with wide open arms.
--- Martin Calderwood
'Cause they skulk under rocks and in woods..
But mine stay at home;
They prefer not to roam;
And would say so, if only they could.
--- Martin Calderwood
Took a walk to the top of the ridge,
Broke into my house,
Startled my spouse,
Then proceeded to clean out my fridge.
--- Gearhart
And that was only for starters.
Then it ate Rover
And my kitten Clover,
Then went next door to the Carters.
--- Gearhart
Barrel, lock and stock;
Leaving nothing behind,
Not a crumb did we find.
This troll was becoming a cock.
--- Gearhart
To report and give a summation
Of what had occurred,
But it seems they had heard
All about our alarming situation.
--- Gearhart
Alerted and they'd soon be in,
To take out this troll
That couldn't get full,
No matter how much he'd eaten.
--- Gearhart
Firing and bombing everywhere.
They struck the troll down,
Just outside of town;
The carcass' stench none could bear.
--- Gearhart
After dragging it on with a winch,
One county over.
And that is why Dover
To this day has that God-awful stench.
--- Gearhart
If at home or out on a raid.
So if you're out there
In the cold Scandia air,
Be cautious but never afraid.
--- Martin Calderwood
Who had scales all over his body.
They were green; he looked sick.
He'd a very short dick.
The bridge he lived under was shoddy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That used a very scary smile.
He had only one eye
With breath like a pig sty.
You could smell him for many a mile.
--- Martin Calderwood
The spiders and bugs make me flee.
The trolls are okay;
With spiders they play.
You'll have to live upstairs with me.
--- Marlene Lewis
They all have their own cubbyholes.
They wear hand-made clothes
And flashy chapeaux;
In their lives they have played many roles.
--- Marlene Lewis
Her face and her form are quite fair.
She's crystal blue eyes
And squat little thighs;
With her there are none to compare.
--- Marlene
As are the toes on her big feet.
She's only got four,
Trolls do not need more;
I think that they look rather neat.
--- Anon
Her hair sprouts out of there instead.
She has a round tummy;
Some might think that's crummy
But I think that she looks well-fed.
--- Anon
What brightly colored skins they all sport!
Blue, red, green and yellow
And one rainbow fellow;
Too bad that these guys are so short!
--- Marlene
Who also collected thses toys.
She went one-up by far
'Cause she had a troll car,
Which she called, I believe, a Trolls Troyce.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Did your other one just decompose?
And as for your thighs,
They're really that size?
I'll tell you just what I propose.
--- Marlene
From trolls in the nearby vicinity.
They'll be learning their places
When I shoot in their faces,
Some loads that will taste of salinity.
--- Anon
With limericks, aimed to take toll
On gullible chicks,
Desirous of dicks,
By twat toters shamming a pole?
--- Travis Brasell
Who married a vampire with dipsomania.
She sucked and he fucked,
Until they were tucked,
For she also had bad nymphomania.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Were attacked by a vampire named Lloyd.
The nun, Sister Ross
Screamed, "Show him your cross!"
The novice (foot stomp) -- "I'm annoyed!"
--- FCA T9712
A brute just cruising for a fight,
On vampire did run,
Who thought just for fun,
To invite him back for a bite.
--- Daniel Ford
He's arisen for blood-sucking time.
Metamorphosis done,
Till return of the sun,
He's a bat about town in his prime.
--- Mimi
MORE