O sage of the stage, Shaw of Shaws! Oedipus came to the city At Thebes he became the new master Oedipus was accursed like no other; After hearing Tiresias pour Oedipus sure loved his mother; The play about Oedipus Rex The story of Oedipus Rex, When Oedipus entered, erect, There once was a doctor named Tom I once had a FACINOROUS friend, The sad tale of Oedipus Rex Watch out for my eyes on the floor; There was a young poet whose sex As King Oedipus lay on the breast Oedipus Rex, full of good wine and pasta, A lonely old maid named Loretta, Said Oedipus Rex, growing red, A fucker of mothers was Oedipus Some bugger once got at my goat, Well Sweets, now, your goat has a cranny A king named Oedipus Rex, The discussion of Oedipus and phalluses. This handsome young man did proclaim, Oedipus said to the Sphinx, A Greek boy named Oedipus Rex, Old Oedipus said to the Sphinx: A friend warned young Oedipus, "Smother Oedipus did admonishments mind; Young Oedipus learned from the Sphinx, Said Tarsius to Oedipus Rex, Word has come down from the Dean, A Columbia student named Tommy
This is file dpm
There's a rumor that Oedipus Rex An old Greek called Oedipus Rex A witty truck driver named Tex Said Oedipus: "What have I done" Been good? Then there's nothing to fear. Merry Christmas, to one and all; Now's the time we should go "Ho Ho Ho," Our ground is all covered with dust; Beware when your old hound dog howls; The rumors said Santa was queer. There once was a whore from Atlanta So now you think yourself funny, The reindeer are waiting to fly... Father Christmas got drunk last night, Said Adam, "I have a pet peeve: There was a young man from Seoul One Christmas, we made a great fire The doctor said there's no detection In the North Pole, it's so cold at night; I once wrote a Santa Claus jingle There's more than one dumb stupid pigeon The North Pole philanthropist Kringle, When Santa at Christmas took his sled A beset-upon virgin named Dawes, Dear girl, this is Santa Claus; What happened to dear Santa Claus? Apprehension in most women grows Well, yes, Santa knows all, that old imp; An old jelly-belly named Santa As one thing which brings Santa Claus cheer A woman named Mrs. S. Claus Since Santa is not an old grouch, Last Christmas, one Santa Claus From the chimney atop Hotel Hyatt,
As your victims, we venture applause.
To ascetic for Paris,
Not to mention Frank Harris,
Your Webb-footed genius awes.
--- Harold Ellis
Where a Sphinx challenged him with a ditty.
By puzzling a little,
He solved the beast's riddle
And proved himself lethally witty.
--- Dan Curley
And married the widowed Jocasta.
His reign was serene,
Which could only mean
His downfall would come all the faster.
--- Dan Curley
Had no conflict with sister or brother.
But he could not avoid
Analyizing by Freud;
Killed his father and married his mother.
--- Esther Koch
Forth his prophecies, Oedipus swore
That all he had heard
Was clearly absurd,
But then augurs were always a bore.
--- High P8309
He should have looked for another.
But he would rather
Attempt to father
A son who would be a brother.
--- Tony Burrell
Has a plot that is very complex.
He clobbered his pa,
And then screwed his ma,
While the Chorus sang songs about sex.
--- G2436
Is a tale that is rather complex.
For despite his dysfunction,
He had this compunction:
To pester his mother for sex.
--- Bob Birch P0102
Jocasta screamed, "Stop! I object!.
You're a Greek! Screw some other--
A goat or your brother--
Mother-fucking's a little suspect."
--- G0582
Who had fallen in love with his Mom.
When he thought about sex
Like old Oedipus Rex,
It became an emotional bomb.
--- Neal Wilgus P8305
Who tried all the rules to best bend;
His frenzied forays
Broke all the mores,
And he married his Mom in the end.
--- Chris Papa
Is all about FILIAL sex,
A poor guy who'd druther
Sleep with his mother,
Then likely to get a complex.
--- Chris Papa
Small wonder I feel pretty sore!
I murdered my pater;
Then married my mater,
And now Sigmund Freud's at the door.
--- Thatcheria nobilis P9709
Was aroused by aesthetic effects;
Marvell's The Garden
Gave him a hard-on
And he came during Oedipus Rex.
--- W H Auden
Of his mom, he was highly distressed.
He put out his eye
And let out a cry:
"I like sex, but incest is best."
--- Macsam
As he slipped into bed with Jocasta,
Said, "This beats the hell
Out of trips up to Del
-phi or playing the Sphinx at canasta!"
--- Peter Green
Sent herself an anonymous letter,
Quoting Ellis on sex,
And Oedipus Rex,
And exclaimed, "I already feel better."
--- Anon G2158
"Those head-shrinkers! Would they were dead!
They make such a bother
Because I love mother.
Well, should I fuck father instead!"
--- J Leventhal G2469
And his ma was a rough and a roedipus,
Who laughed at his cries
As he poked out his eyes,
But confessed she was nice as a stoedipus.
--- Travis Brasell
While grazing in pastures remote.
I really should have
Suspected it's Trav
Just judging by what he just wrote.
--- SFA
That's hot, tight, and wet as my granny.
But I'm filled with woe,
For I did not know
Your goat was a 'billy', not 'nanny'.
--- Travis Brasell
Who started this fuss about sex,
Put the world to great pains
By the spots and the stains,
Which he made on his mother's pubex.
--- L0088
In the end only causes paralysis.
Psychoanalyzed bliss
Is not worth a piss;
But of course, that's just my urinalysis.
--- Steve Holst
"From all sex and misdeeds I'll abstain!"
But he wound up in bed,
With his mother, 'tis said.
And events took their natural train.
--- Michael Chase
"My name's been perverted by shrinks.
Who'd think Jocasta'd
Call me a bastard?
I think psychiatry stinks."
--- Victor Gray
Found a babe who exuded pure sex;
'Till they both did discover,
The wench was his mother.
Now they're both pathological wrecks.
--- Lims For The John P9707
"My name's been perverted by shrinks.
For a hefty price,
They say I'm not nice;
I think that psychiatry stinks."
--- Victor Gray
Your love for this queen from another
Generation. I'm told
That the woman is old
Enough to be almost your mother."
--- Mortal Taste P8309
He'd been told, "Onanism's unkind!"
His "seed" never was found,
Spilled out on bare ground,
But in spite of that, he still went blind.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9709
He was under a terrible jinx.
He would--No I can't tell
All the rest that befell.
It's not family reading, it stinks.
--- Basil Ransome-Davies
"I'm too old to care about sex,
But I'm telling you, brother,
That queen's a mean mother,
And she's setting you up for a hex."
--- John Ciardi
That by use of the teaching machine,
Old Oedipus Rex
Could have learned about sex,
Without ever distrubing the Queen.
--- Fred Skinner, 1926 P9210
Declares he is naught but a commie.
This comes, I suspect,
From parental neglect --
He has Oedipal thoughts about mommy.
--- William F Buckley P8606
Had a terrible Mother Complex.
His poor mum, Jocasta,
Was a walking disaster,
But at least she took Traveler's Cheques.
--- Bill Wall
Decided he would change his sex.
He was charged twenty drachmas
For removing his nachmas;
Thank God they took Traveler's Cheques.
--- Bill Wall
Was arrested and likely suspects
'Twas the sign on his door
That caused the uproar.
It read simply, "Oedipus Wrecks".
--- W Cooke
I shouldn't have married my mum!
I'm all in a lather;
I murdered my father;
Complex? I think I've got one."
--- Richard Long
If you haven't, old St Nick, the dear,
Will put coal in your socks,
Boys get crabs in their jocks;
Girls get PMS all of next year.
--- Ogden Nield A
Go play with your medicine ball.
Ol' Santa (that jock)
Gave me such a shock,
When he bounced them up and down the hall.
--- Anon
And mush through the slush and the snow;
Let us pray Mr. Claus
Dons his warm underdrawers,
'Cause these Buffalo squawls really 'blow'!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8701
In this drought we may wash if we must.
While Santa Claus flies
Around in the skies
Bringing presents, not rain. How unjust!
--- Narni
The fireplace needs stuffing with towels;
'Cause jolly Saint Nick
Likes to drain the old dick,
And use chimneys to empty his bowels.
--- Anon
Not so, you'll be happy to hear.
Although not a fag,
Sex just isn't his bag,
For the man only comes once a year!
--- Ogden Nield A
Who dreamed of tricking with Santa.
She dreamed of the dick
That hung on St. Nick,
With garlands and socks from the mantle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And go like the Energizer Bunny.
But since Christmas is here,
I wish you good cheer,
And to tell you your wife's cunt is runny.
--- Anon
Ho ho ho, little darling, don't cry.
So goodbye, I should leave.
See you next Christmas Eve.
Please let go of my sleeve, dear. Bye bye.
--- Anon
Really shit-faced, not merely tight.
He woke up at the crack
Of dawn, with no sack;
Not one single reindeer in sight.
--- Tony Burrell
For Santa, great cookies I leave;
He eats the whole batch,
And then with dispatch
He jerks off on my Christmas Eve!"
--- Anon
Who for Christmas received a nice bowl
Designed for rice,
But he wasn't nice,
So Santa-san filled it with coal.
--- Harry Rubin P9212
And built it up higher and higher.
So when Santa came down
The chimney, he'd frown
And complain, "You have made me perspire!"
--- Christine Brim
That Santa has any infection;
His fast chimney squeezes
Won't issue in sneezes,
Since Santa had his 'flue' injection.
--- Travis Brasell
A naked Santa just wouldn't look right.
Even if he lost weight,
He'd not look all that great,
Because all of his parts got frostbite!
--- Anon
Which somewhat offended Kris Kringle.
He gave me the shingles,
With pain, itch and tingles,
That keep me unwillingly single.
--- John E Maywood
Fell down our stack; now a cowl's bridgin'
The gap, but old Kringle's
Stopped climbing our shingles,
'Cause it hampers his progress a smidgeon.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is said to intend to stay single;
On his famed popcorn balls,
Torrid sex never calls;
There's nothing to stir up a tingle.
--- Armand E Singer 34
The children were asleep in their bed.
He left all his toys
For good girls and boys,
And the bad kids he knocked in the head.
--- Tom Patton P0502
Took her case to the courts with just cause;
Though hard to believe,
One cold Christmas eve,
Who'd you think knocked her up? Santa Claus!
--- Armand Singer
For being good, you will get applause.
But for being naughty,
You'll find your hot body
Invaded as we shed our drawers.
--- Jon Gearhart
He missed half his route all because
That right jolly elf
Re-entered himself
Having sex in twisted Klein maws.
--- John Miller
Sighting Santa who's calling them hoes.
They keep up their smile,
Pondering all the while,
That dirty old fart, how he knows.
--- Dirruk Q
And he knows it with only one glimpse.
But he knows this one, too,
(And I'm sure so do you):
Where there's hoes there's, too, punters and pimps.
--- Ursula Noeker Q
Was a fan of the soft drinks from Fanta.
Though he often would savor
The grape and orange flavor,
He wished they'd develop bananta.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is eating saltines with his beer.
Each December he sends
Several packs to his friends,
Wishing them "Merry crispness this year."
--- A N Wilkins P8612
Deserves some attention because
She sits in her den,
Baking gingerbread men,
While her husband gets all the applause!
--- Lims For Year - 01
And knows you are good (I can vouch),
Your stockings he'll stuff,
As well as your muff,
On Christmas Eve night on your couch.
--- Travis Brasell
Got nearly killed, because
He restlessly whined,
Demanded a rhyme,
And handled my present with pause.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Santa's loud voice broke the quiet.
What terrible luck
For me to get stuck --
Tomorrow I go on a diet.
--- Diane Christian