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O sage of the stage, Shaw of Shaws!
As your victims, we venture applause.
To ascetic for Paris,
Not to mention Frank Harris,
Your Webb-footed genius awes.
--- Harold Ellis

Oedipus came to the city
Where a Sphinx challenged him with a ditty.
By puzzling a little,
He solved the beast's riddle
And proved himself lethally witty.
--- Dan Curley

At Thebes he became the new master
And married the widowed Jocasta.
His reign was serene,
Which could only mean
His downfall would come all the faster.
--- Dan Curley

Oedipus was accursed like no other;
Had no conflict with sister or brother.
But he could not avoid
Analyizing by Freud;
Killed his father and married his mother.
--- Esther Koch

After hearing Tiresias pour
Forth his prophecies, Oedipus swore
That all he had heard
Was clearly absurd,
But then augurs were always a bore.
--- High P8309

Oedipus sure loved his mother;
He should have looked for another.
But he would rather
Attempt to father
A son who would be a brother.
--- Tony Burrell

The play about Oedipus Rex
Has a plot that is very complex.
He clobbered his pa,
And then screwed his ma,
While the Chorus sang songs about sex.
--- G2436

The story of Oedipus Rex,
Is a tale that is rather complex.
For despite his dysfunction,
He had this compunction:
To pester his mother for sex.
--- Bob Birch P0102

When Oedipus entered, erect,
Jocasta screamed, "Stop! I object!.
You're a Greek! Screw some other--
A goat or your brother--
Mother-fucking's a little suspect."
--- G0582

There once was a doctor named Tom
Who had fallen in love with his Mom.
When he thought about sex
Like old Oedipus Rex,
It became an emotional bomb.
--- Neal Wilgus P8305

I once had a FACINOROUS friend,
Who tried all the rules to best bend;
His frenzied forays
Broke all the mores,
And he married his Mom in the end.
--- Chris Papa

The sad tale of Oedipus Rex
Is all about FILIAL sex,
A poor guy who'd druther
Sleep with his mother,
Then likely to get a complex.
--- Chris Papa

Watch out for my eyes on the floor;
Small wonder I feel pretty sore!
I murdered my pater;
Then married my mater,
And now Sigmund Freud's at the door.
--- Thatcheria nobilis P9709

There was a young poet whose sex
Was aroused by aesthetic effects;
Marvell's The Garden
Gave him a hard-on
And he came during Oedipus Rex.
--- W H Auden

As King Oedipus lay on the breast
Of his mom, he was highly distressed.
He put out his eye
And let out a cry:
"I like sex, but incest is best."
--- Macsam

Oedipus Rex, full of good wine and pasta,
As he slipped into bed with Jocasta,
Said, "This beats the hell
Out of trips up to Del
-phi or playing the Sphinx at canasta!"
--- Peter Green

A lonely old maid named Loretta,
Sent herself an anonymous letter,
Quoting Ellis on sex,
And Oedipus Rex,
And exclaimed, "I already feel better."
--- Anon G2158

Said Oedipus Rex, growing red,
"Those head-shrinkers! Would they were dead!
They make such a bother
Because I love mother.
Well, should I fuck father instead!"
--- J Leventhal G2469

A fucker of mothers was Oedipus
And his ma was a rough and a roedipus,
Who laughed at his cries
As he poked out his eyes,
But confessed she was nice as a stoedipus.
--- Travis Brasell

Some bugger once got at my goat,
While grazing in pastures remote.
I really should have
Suspected it's Trav
Just judging by what he just wrote.
--- SFA

Well Sweets, now, your goat has a cranny
That's hot, tight, and wet as my granny.
But I'm filled with woe,
For I did not know
Your goat was a 'billy', not 'nanny'.
--- Travis Brasell

A king named Oedipus Rex,
Who started this fuss about sex,
Put the world to great pains
By the spots and the stains,
Which he made on his mother's pubex.
--- L0088

The discussion of Oedipus and phalluses.
In the end only causes paralysis.
Psychoanalyzed bliss
Is not worth a piss;
But of course, that's just my urinalysis.
--- Steve Holst

This handsome young man did proclaim,
"From all sex and misdeeds I'll abstain!"
But he wound up in bed,
With his mother, 'tis said.
And events took their natural train.
--- Michael Chase

Oedipus said to the Sphinx,
"My name's been perverted by shrinks.
Who'd think Jocasta'd
Call me a bastard?
I think psychiatry stinks."
--- Victor Gray

A Greek boy named Oedipus Rex,
Found a babe who exuded pure sex;
'Till they both did discover,
The wench was his mother.
Now they're both pathological wrecks.
--- Lims For The John P9707

Old Oedipus said to the Sphinx:
"My name's been perverted by shrinks.
For a hefty price,
They say I'm not nice;
I think that psychiatry stinks."
--- Victor Gray

A friend warned young Oedipus, "Smother
Your love for this queen from another
Generation. I'm told
That the woman is old
Enough to be almost your mother."
--- Mortal Taste P8309

Oedipus did admonishments mind;
He'd been told, "Onanism's unkind!"
His "seed" never was found,
Spilled out on bare ground,
But in spite of that, he still went blind.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9709

Young Oedipus learned from the Sphinx,
He was under a terrible jinx.
He would--No I can't tell
All the rest that befell.
It's not family reading, it stinks.
--- Basil Ransome-Davies

Said Tarsius to Oedipus Rex,
"I'm too old to care about sex,
But I'm telling you, brother,
That queen's a mean mother,
And she's setting you up for a hex."
--- John Ciardi

Word has come down from the Dean,
That by use of the teaching machine,
Old Oedipus Rex
Could have learned about sex,
Without ever distrubing the Queen.
--- Fred Skinner, 1926 P9210

A Columbia student named Tommy
Declares he is naught but a commie.
This comes, I suspect,
From parental neglect --
He has Oedipal thoughts about mommy.
--- William F Buckley P8606

This is file dpm

There's a rumor that Oedipus Rex
Had a terrible Mother Complex.
His poor mum, Jocasta,
Was a walking disaster,
But at least she took Traveler's Cheques.
--- Bill Wall

An old Greek called Oedipus Rex
Decided he would change his sex.
He was charged twenty drachmas
For removing his nachmas;
Thank God they took Traveler's Cheques.
--- Bill Wall

A witty truck driver named Tex
Was arrested and likely suspects
'Twas the sign on his door
That caused the uproar.
It read simply, "Oedipus Wrecks".
--- W Cooke

Said Oedipus: "What have I done"
I shouldn't have married my mum!
I'm all in a lather;
I murdered my father;
Complex? I think I've got one."
--- Richard Long

Been good? Then there's nothing to fear.
If you haven't, old St Nick, the dear,
Will put coal in your socks,
Boys get crabs in their jocks;
Girls get PMS all of next year.
--- Ogden Nield A

Merry Christmas, to one and all;
Go play with your medicine ball.
Ol' Santa (that jock)
Gave me such a shock,
When he bounced them up and down the hall.
--- Anon

Now's the time we should go "Ho Ho Ho,"
And mush through the slush and the snow;
Let us pray Mr. Claus
Dons his warm underdrawers,
'Cause these Buffalo squawls really 'blow'!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8701

Our ground is all covered with dust;
In this drought we may wash if we must.
While Santa Claus flies
Around in the skies
Bringing presents, not rain. How unjust!
--- Narni

Beware when your old hound dog howls;
The fireplace needs stuffing with towels;
'Cause jolly Saint Nick
Likes to drain the old dick,
And use chimneys to empty his bowels.
--- Anon

The rumors said Santa was queer.
Not so, you'll be happy to hear.
Although not a fag,
Sex just isn't his bag,
For the man only comes once a year!
--- Ogden Nield A

There once was a whore from Atlanta
Who dreamed of tricking with Santa.
She dreamed of the dick
That hung on St. Nick,
With garlands and socks from the mantle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

So now you think yourself funny,
And go like the Energizer Bunny.
But since Christmas is here,
I wish you good cheer,
And to tell you your wife's cunt is runny.
--- Anon

The reindeer are waiting to fly...
Ho ho ho, little darling, don't cry.
So goodbye, I should leave.
See you next Christmas Eve.
Please let go of my sleeve, dear. Bye bye.
--- Anon

Father Christmas got drunk last night,
Really shit-faced, not merely tight.
He woke up at the crack
Of dawn, with no sack;
Not one single reindeer in sight.
--- Tony Burrell

Said Adam, "I have a pet peeve:
For Santa, great cookies I leave;
He eats the whole batch,
And then with dispatch
He jerks off on my Christmas Eve!"
--- Anon

There was a young man from Seoul
Who for Christmas received a nice bowl
Designed for rice,
But he wasn't nice,
So Santa-san filled it with coal.
--- Harry Rubin P9212

One Christmas, we made a great fire
And built it up higher and higher.
So when Santa came down
The chimney, he'd frown
And complain, "You have made me perspire!"
--- Christine Brim

The doctor said there's no detection
That Santa has any infection;
His fast chimney squeezes
Won't issue in sneezes,
Since Santa had his 'flue' injection.
--- Travis Brasell

In the North Pole, it's so cold at night;
A naked Santa just wouldn't look right.
Even if he lost weight,
He'd not look all that great,
Because all of his parts got frostbite!
--- Anon

I once wrote a Santa Claus jingle
Which somewhat offended Kris Kringle.
He gave me the shingles,
With pain, itch and tingles,
That keep me unwillingly single.
--- John E Maywood

There's more than one dumb stupid pigeon
Fell down our stack; now a cowl's bridgin'
The gap, but old Kringle's
Stopped climbing our shingles,
'Cause it hampers his progress a smidgeon.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The North Pole philanthropist Kringle,
Is said to intend to stay single;
On his famed popcorn balls,
Torrid sex never calls;
There's nothing to stir up a tingle.
--- Armand E Singer 34

When Santa at Christmas took his sled
The children were asleep in their bed.
He left all his toys
For good girls and boys,
And the bad kids he knocked in the head.
--- Tom Patton P0502

A beset-upon virgin named Dawes,
Took her case to the courts with just cause;
Though hard to believe,
One cold Christmas eve,
Who'd you think knocked her up? Santa Claus!
--- Armand Singer

Dear girl, this is Santa Claus;
For being good, you will get applause.
But for being naughty,
You'll find your hot body
Invaded as we shed our drawers.
--- Jon Gearhart

What happened to dear Santa Claus?
He missed half his route all because
That right jolly elf
Re-entered himself
Having sex in twisted Klein maws.
--- John Miller

Apprehension in most women grows
Sighting Santa who's calling them hoes.
They keep up their smile,
Pondering all the while,
That dirty old fart, how he knows.
--- Dirruk Q

Well, yes, Santa knows all, that old imp;
And he knows it with only one glimpse.
But he knows this one, too,
(And I'm sure so do you):
Where there's hoes there's, too, punters and pimps.
--- Ursula Noeker Q

An old jelly-belly named Santa
Was a fan of the soft drinks from Fanta.
Though he often would savor
The grape and orange flavor,
He wished they'd develop bananta.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

As one thing which brings Santa Claus cheer
Is eating saltines with his beer.
Each December he sends
Several packs to his friends,
Wishing them "Merry crispness this year."
--- A N Wilkins P8612

A woman named Mrs. S. Claus
Deserves some attention because
She sits in her den,
Baking gingerbread men,
While her husband gets all the applause!
--- Lims For Year - 01

Since Santa is not an old grouch,
And knows you are good (I can vouch),
Your stockings he'll stuff,
As well as your muff,
On Christmas Eve night on your couch.
--- Travis Brasell

Last Christmas, one Santa Claus
Got nearly killed, because
He restlessly whined,
Demanded a rhyme,
And handled my present with pause.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

From the chimney atop Hotel Hyatt,
Santa's loud voice broke the quiet.
What terrible luck
For me to get stuck --
Tomorrow I go on a diet.
--- Diane Christian


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