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The American plan is quite clear; Said Brian "What will be, will be... (Amish popcorn factory on Homeland Security target list)
I had feared that the rubber-stamp Congress A Congressional veteran, Murtha, George Bush is the name of our president. The plan was in place and rehearsed, In a trophy room interns should dread, Said King George to Crown Prince Abdullah: "Saddam," said George, "you're a pain. There's a wee bit of Irish, they say, US President George Dubya Bush Testosterone levels are peaking Says Bush, "It's Iraqi skulduggery; I'm sure that you all will recall Dubya said, "It makes my blood boil, When Dubya was elected as President Then Bush destabilized the plan A conflicted Prez was young Georgery Said the chief of staff, "I've got a beef: Young Dubya, who should have known better, The best Christmas greetings from me. They told you men walked on the moon. I do not believe it's his double; You betcha! You know what he needs Well, damned if I know about Blair. Or else some political chap But try as they might they can't hide Now, Saddam might have been a bad chap Now they highlight the crimes of Saddam How can ordinary living go on But hundreds of millions worldwide The anti-war crowd is immense; Bush vowed, with an eye on the polls, The "holes" calls to mind Vietnam As we march on Afghanistan's plains, The future will slowly unwind; But your fear's an essential ingredient You Yankees think you are the greatest, That wimp of J. W. Bush I send you a welcoming greet, Old George to his president son, "You're right, Dad, you do speak the truth, A sensuous dirty old man (Neal Wilgus challenge to Asimov)
Though I love John, the truth is he's base, What more shall I say of John Ciardi? To make friends with the lumpish John Ciardi, To a dinner arrived fat John Ciardi There was a mad genius named Asimov, What Asimov lacks of pure style, A young entertainer called Star, An old fairground busker named Joe That old Broadway dame, Carol Channing The museum in downtown Baroda -- (Carol Doda - big bare-boob showgirl, San Francisco, 1960's)
When I hear a DJ on the air, A disc jockey's trivial chatter, When the world's greatest diver, Lou Gainis, A pass at the opposite sex There once was a lady named Dottie (Dorothy Parker of the Algonquin Round Table)
Durante had nose out of shape; A stuntman called Evel Knievel There once was a fellow named Floyd, There was a lank fellow named Frank There once was a hairy Houdini That Hawaii Five-O guy, McGarrett, (Wo Fat was the villain in this TV series)
At the show two young ladies did focus Houdini just loved to debunk Howard Stern, some say that he rules;
We bomb and we buy till they hear.
Pipelines and oil
We find on their soil,
For Dubya holds these things dear.
--- Anon
If they bomb our popcorn factory!
We'll not eat popcorn
While we're not watching porn,
All the while we're not watching TV.
--- David Miller
Would say little and then respond less,
To the first-strike attack
George wants for IRAQ,
But there's reason to hope that's a wrong guess.
--- Dr Limerick
Said, "Let's pull out now and, still furtha.
It's okay if we run
While our mission ain't done.
Call it 'Semper Fi' but in revertha."
--- John Miller
His policies on peace are non-existent.
When it came to Iraq,
He was quick to attack,
But in fixing New Orleans, he's hesitant.
--- Jennifer Jacob
In case worse had come to the worst.
When time came to call out
And hide from the fall out,
The plan was Republicans first.
--- Dr Limerick 03-05-02
George Dubya gleefully said:
"This proves that I've won
'Cause I've got Saddam's gun.
Still, I'd rather have mounted his head."
--- Virge
"Now don't give me none of your bulla.
Our Military might
Gives me the right --
Who cares 'bout the rag-headed mullah?"
--- Dr Limerick
We will just have to bomb you again."
So he sent the Marines
To dig lots of latrines,
In the hope that they'd shit on Hussein.
--- Tony Kiek
Touching everyone's heart in some way,
Save for Bush, Rumsfeld, Rice
And their gang who're not nice,
Starting war on St Patrick's own day!
--- Lims for 2003
Has a war that he hastened to push.
But the Sunni's attack
Has taken him aback
And he finds himself flat on his tush.
--- Tom Patton P0510Q
When Bush a new battle is seeking.
His little head rises;
The big one devises
A war, whose just cause needs some tweaking.
--- RanDog
They are evil and cunning as buggery."
So his troops he paraded;
He bombed and invaded
In an act uf unparallelled thuggery.
--- John Dengate
The precedent on which we'll fall --
The Resolution of Tonkin
Got hardly no talkin';
And evidence? Nothing at all.
--- Dr Limerick 08-26-02
To hear that we want Iraq's oil.
We'll just take some to pay
For my war, and each day
That our troops occupy Iraq's soil.
--- Lims for 2003
On spurious votes -- that's self-evident --
To cover his shame,
He made war on Hussein,
With excuses egregiously magniloquent.
--- Bob Phillips
With lies about a Mass D Weapon.
Now El Q runs amuck;
With this mess we are stuck,
And Bush his own thumb must suck. (playing switch)
--- Anon
Who bumbled us through mideast wargery.
But when his country called,
He himself went AWOL
And his record he claimed was a forgery.
--- Buffytou
Those casualties give me much grief."
Said the Sec. of Defense,
"I'm not in charge, hence:
Take it up with the flight-suit-in-chief."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
Sent Saddam a short bragging letter:
"Your WMD
Are too tiny to see.
In Texas they're bigger and better!"
--- Tony Kiek
It may be the last one we see,
'Cause Mesopotamia's
Near turning uranious,
As Dubya begins World War III.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With Dubya and Blair facing doom
In the polls, in real trouble,
So catch Saddam's double,
And watch those opinion polls zoom.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I don't mean to be bursting your bubble,
But it sure was a treat
And it tickeled your feet
And got Bush and Blair out of their trouble.
--- Nawahl
That to overcome Democrats leads,
By the "statesman" the 'Crats
Have fielded, that's stats
In the papers that eeveryone reads.
--- John Miller
He's British, so why should I care?
But if he dropped dead,
Would you come out ahead
Or have something worse in your hair?
--- John Miller
Who's spouting the usual crap,
Supporting his creed
Of power and greed,
And think's every voter's a sap.
--- John Miller
That their ultimate mission defied
The rules that were set
By a UN gazette.
By the looks of it, justice has died.
--- Nawahl
Who now sits with his head in his lap.
But I'm very frustrated
And a little irated,
Of hearing from Bush and Blair's crap.
--- Nawahl
And denounce him the ultimate bum,
But forget not the hour
He was kept in power,
When with US, Kuwait he did numb.
--- Nawahl Razak
While the U.S. is waving its gun,
And Tony tells Britain
That war's only fittin',
And hurries to join in the fun.
--- Edwina Leer
Are opposed to this mass homocide.
From nation to nation
Tomorrow's demonstration
Will show that with peace we're allied.
--- Edwina Leer
With millions, the act was intense.
But God! Did you see
The billions, like me,
Not showing dumb signs, but good sense?
--- Travis Brasell
To smoke terrorists out of their holes.
That's all well and good
And I wish that he would,
But I hope he has more precise goals.
--- Dr Limerick
This is file cxm
Where we dropped tons and tons of big bombs.
But we never knew
What we wanted to do.
At the end, it was we who succumbed.
--- Dr Limerick
One hopes that in D.C., the brains
Can appoint a commission
To draft statement of mission
Beyond, "Get Bin Laden's remains!"
--- Dr Limerick
We cannot be willfully blind;
We can't just tell when,
In one year or ten;
The exact date cannot be divined.
--- Dr Limerick 05-20-02
To be used when we find it expedient.
When the Gops feeling hurt,
We'll call an alert,
To be broadcast by press corps obedient.
--- Dr Limerick 05-20-02
But checking out news of the latest;
Your leader's a twit
With barely a whit
Of intelligence; "He that doth hateth!"
--- Narni
Will turn all of us into mush,
Over his love of war,
And the ultimate score
Will be humans en-masse turned to slush.
--- Narni
And warn you, be careful, my sweet.
My soft pussy paws
Hide razor sharp claws,
Which makes easy work of new meat.
--- Goin2later
"Go fight that war I should have won,
In battle engage;
Because of your age,
You'll not even need your own gun."
--- Bob Birch P0302
We pay folks to fight tooth to tooth.
So the radical right,
Says let them fight our fight,
They are our expendable youth."
--- Bob Birch P0302
Is old Asimov, writer and fan.
When he isn't creating,
He's probably mating,
Which he does whenever he can.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
And within him there isn't a trace
Of rational quality,
Or decent morality,
Then too, that ridiculous face.
--- Isaac Asimov
His humor is junk, his wit shoddy.
To speak of his mind
Would be most unkind,
And, God!, would you look at that body!
--- Isaac Asimov
Needs a spirit uncouth, rough, and hardy.
When in line for a bit
Of amusement and wit,
Did he get it? Why, no, he was tardy.
--- Isaac Asimov
With only his appetite hearty.
Conversational ploys?
He had nothing but noise,
And he spoiled every bit of the party.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who suffered a curious spasm of
Sublimerickitis.
Herewith the detritus
He has leaped an unfathomable chasm of.
--- Isaac Asimov
He makes up for, well once in a while,
By the way he can bluster
From the depths of lackluster
To the almost transcendently vile.
--- John Ciardi
In a pub, sang and danced on the bar.
The patrons were reeling;
Her costume revealing;
As fins and sawbucks filled her bra!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Used his voice to sell every side-show.
Fat ladies, small men,
A two headed hen;
It's a place for whole families to go.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Has a lot of new things she is planning.
After forty one years,
She'll do forty one beers,
And put out the fire she's been fanning.
--- Anon
The one with the glans and the scrota --
Now has a new section
To house the collection
Donated to by Carol Doda.
--- Martin Wellborn P8507
Who sounds like he hasn't a care,
With a nice pleasant voice,
Playing discs of his choice;
I have a nice voice. It's not fair!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
While spinning a musical platter,
Is jocund and gay
And earns him his pay,
But makes me as mad as a hatter.
--- Lims Unlimited
Came out and revealed his true gayness,
He said, "For a tough dive
Would be a muff dive,
An event I would find far too heinous."
--- R Lohnes P9709
Is seldom made when she wears specs.
With such repartee
Did Dorothy P.
Extract The New Yorker's small cheques.
--- Nick a
Whose love life was sad but naughty.
She sat 'round the table
With men who were able,
But the details remain a bit spotty.
--- Anon
Born with it, he couldn't escape.
Appendage visible,
Made visage RISIBLE,
Reddened by juice of the grape.
--- Chris Papa
Doused himself in a coat of fresh diesel;
But the stunt it fell flat,
When he singed the Queen's hat,
And whistled 'God save the Weasel.'
--- Anon
Who was told which cave to avoid.
When he was found stuck in a panic,
The media went manic,
And now he's a legend enjoyed.
--- P Aughey
With barrels of coin in the bank.
He purchased some papers,
Which died of his capers,
That poor misbegotten old crank!
--- Don Maquis & Adams P9506
Who called up the ghost of Puccini.
He was stoned to the bone
So he called on the phone
And asked if he still used his weenie.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Recites his cliches like a parrot.
When the lady piano
Player kissed Danno,
He remarked, "If the woo fits then share it."
--- Arthur Deex P0311
As Houdini presented his hocus.
When the show was completed,
The young girls remained seated.
They were waiting, they said, for the poke us.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0146
The medium peddling junk
About the hereafter.
He would cause laughter
Showing how their magic stunk.
--- Larry Davis P8710
Others just say that he drools.
If I had my way
I'd listen every day,
But at work I'd lay just down my tools.
--- Anon
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