MORE
While listening to Radio One, In decades past, people would listen Mr Limbaugh seems hearty and hale; Rush Limbaugh is on day and night, Mr Limbaugh, the dean of hypocracy, On Rush Limbaugh's ass can be found, A good Limbaugh groupie named Grover, There once was a steatopygian named Rush, (fat-assed) Because I am glued to the telly, An actor named Adrian Paul, I have heard that once Alex Trebek (Alex Trebek - host of popular 1990's quiz show - Jeopardy)
A radio makes a neat sound, TV language is crude, I insist; The "Baywatch" girls all are so pretty; I turned on the TV today; Two Mavericks were Bret and Bart; The experts now claim to detect To most, it doesn't sound daffy Well TV is not where it's at. If you happen to watch Channel Four, We teenagers are drawn to TV; As much as this chick Courtney Love Steve's activeness thrills all his mates, Steve Irwin's a hero, alright, Ellen DeGeneres said, "It's true Kathy Gifford has been in a stew-- TV's hit of last year was bridal. Whenever I watch Donahue, (And delinquents who fornicate, too.)
It's amazing, guru Dr Phil I once thought that time travel was true, The Duke boys asked Cooter to rent (TV show 'Dukes of Hazard")
I trust there's no village named Ewingham, I thought Fess was a guy that played Davey, A actress called Lucci, on cable, In the U.S. where TV's the rage, Our Gillian comes to consult (Gillian who?)
Our Resident Assistant is Dez; Every evening my TV tube glows; If you regularly watch ITV, Jack Paar remains my kind of guy; There once was a fellow named Jerry, Why isn't there anything on TV? When Sidney appeared on TV, That fine TV actress, Joan Cleaver, I wonder how John Logie Baird You may treat this notion with scorn, Judge Judy has a television show; Julia Child said, "Let's lunch and we'll chat." (Julia Child - famous TV chef for French cooking)
Last week, if you saw Panorama, Have you seen TV star Kirstie Ailie? Kitty Russell did not prompt moral roars He did not let his allergy stop When Telly Savalas would play The two from the Superman flick There once was an actress named Margot Mary Tyler Moore was a snob; (on the Howdy Doody Show)
What of Mary Tyler Moore? When 5 and just starting at school, There most surely could be no dispute Long before we had detente, Americans must always have fun. On late night, they're still cloning Carson; This sensitive lady called Rose, Poor Oprah was arrested out back; A barb-wired type actress named Pam The network has managed to botch it; "The end of the world, I suppose,"
I decided that this is no fun.
Simon Bates played our tune,
The unspeakable loon.
I reached for my elephant gun...
--- Bill Wall
To the sounds of their radios hissin';
But with TV today,
Kids get carried away,
Watchin' violence, swearin' and kissin'.
--- Cap'n Bean P9812
His rehab program didn't fail.
If he's treated in court
The way that he ought,
Perhaps he can broadcast from jail.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0402
Espousing his views from the Right.
He loves making waves,
So he rants and he raves,
Which causes the Left to ignite!
--- RenWa
Shot his mouth off on drugs and pornography.
His doping's a crime,
But he'll never do time,
'Cause he's part of the right wing plutocracy
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
A message, by the hole black and round,
And if you have just the right light,
Then you just might
See: "Dangerous inflated above 200 pounds!"
--- Cruelty Jones
(Always jacked up, but not sure what over)
Was forced out of spite,
Because no one would write,
To flame himself fifty times over.
--- Nat Koch
Whose cranium was packed full of mush.
He would bellow and bray
'Til the end of the day,
While dimwitted Ditto Heads gushed.
--- Anon
My body's a big blob of jelly.
I eat where I squat
And I don't leave this spot,
Not even to empty my belly.
--- SFA
Was muscular, handsome and tall.
"Oh! Beefcake for you,
I just will not do!"
He said as he nearly bared all.
--- Karen Droms
Wished to govern the province, Quebec.
But his mom said, "You're mad.
Get in show business, lad."
Did that jeopardize Alex, you 'spect?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9202
But the present-day public has found,
That the picture you see
On a large-screen TV
Is the thing that most truly astounds!
--- Cap'n Bean P9812
The censors should make them desist.
Profane phrases I hear
Are assaulting my ear.
When I hear them I really get pissed.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0510Q
They show inside thigh, navel and titty.
But though it might seem
Like a scriptwriter's dream,
Their dialog's not very witty.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The bad news just won't go away.
Like a message from Heaven,
Grabbed my three fifty seven,
And blew the old Zeneth away.
--- T Arnold
You can hardly tell them apart.
One was James Garner,
Other some 'furriner';
Can't wait for the reruns to start.
--- Jack Franklin
Connections 'twixt what we select
On TV to view
And lower IQ.
But is this a cause or effect?
--- John Miller
That TV turns wits into taffy.
But keen occupation
With experimentation
Uncovers plain facts -- for a fee.
--- Bruce
They censor all mention of twat.
But in AJL
These things we learn well;
So please, keep it under your hat.
--- SFA
Then you must be a bit of a bore.
You can see Richard Whitely,
Not once, but twice nightly.
I don't think I can take any more!
--- Bill Wall
At the ads we all chortle with glee.
We haven't the money.
This fact isn't funny;
Our parents say it's not grown on a tree.
--- Arthur Pattaffy Q
Wants to give her career a quick shove,
She's not really shocking,
Although quite self-mocking
And almost as peaceful as a dove.
--- Julie Wiskirchen
And his eagerness never abates.
"Crikey!" he'll shout.
Now the only way out
Is the croc-based demise that awaits!
--- Rory Ewins
For taming the crocodile's might.
But rumors are rife
That he's ditching his wife
Because, when in bed, she won't bite.
--- SFA
I have loved and more than a few.
But I told Kathy Lee,
'If you'll just marry me,
I swear I'll always be Frank with you.'"
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9711 a
With her ex, she's have nothing to do!
So bid Ellen Degeneris,
Dreaming of her 'mons veneris'
"Kathy, can I be frank with you."
--- CB T9710a
None of the brides' lives was an idyll.
What ABC thinks best
Is a move to the west:
Desperate Horsewives, the new title.
--- Tom Patton P0609
And I look an his strange retinue,
I see some weird folks,
Whom he always provokes,
And I saw a cute cockatoo, too.
--- Al Willis P9601
Will quite likely earn at least a mill.
He is a self made winner,
Using techniques by Skinner,
And he's never prescribed that first pill.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607
After watching too much "Doctor Who".
To visit a place
Other side of deep space,
But my TARDIS is not square and blue.
--- Anon
Equipment to straighten a dent.
Then he said, "Luke and Bo,
I must answere you, No."
They found out what accouterment!
--- John Dohner P8801
Else poets would rhyme it with "viewing 'em,"
Or concoct some cheap verse
About girls who coerce
Reluctant young lads into screwing 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 658
But find it's a bar, staight or wavy,
In heraldry's place,
That sets up the space
For griffins, gargoyles and gravy.
--- Chris Papa
This is file ctm
Whose Emmy near-misses are fable,
Played Erica Kane,
Eighteen years without gain,
But the nineteenth confirm Kane was able!
--- Prof M-G
It affects viewers of every age.
Through commercials and yacks,
We fill up on snacks.
TV Week is our new obit page.
--- Tom Patton P0609
On phenomena weird and occult,
In her role on the X-files
And they're not the sex-files;
Her fan club is male and adult.
--- Satori Press
I heard that she is a Lez.
But what makes her fidget
Is the dick of a midget;
I caught her with Herve Vallachez!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I love all this season's new shows.
There's urbane conversation,
Advanced education
And a red headed beauty who blows.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
(Which I gather is on Channel Three),
They have jolly good breaks
With commercials for cakes;
It's the programs that mystify me.
--- Bill Wall
At times he was bashful and shy.
He'd expose superstitions
And tweak politicians.
And every so often he'd cry.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose program, to some, was quite scary.
But average folks say
That Springer's okay --
He treats all degenerates fairly.
--- Brad Gianden P9804
It's getting more and more trashy;
Turn it to Springer;
He's a real humdinger
With the cheaters, liars, and lezzies.
--- Anon
Pretending that he was a she,
He wound up on Springer
Between an old swinger
And a blond with a dwarf on her knee.
--- Nancy Ashbaugh P0105
Is down to earth--never a diva.
On her wholesome TV show,
Critters wander to and fro,
But we never can see Cleaver's beaver.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
Would have prospered if only he'd dared
To put on the air,
Sweet pictures of bare
Young ladies? How would he have fared.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But to corner the market in porn,
Much wealth would accrue
In those years, so few,
Before his TV sales were gorn.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Her Justice is blow by blow.
She sits on a bench --
What a fierce looking wench!
But she's just a big yenta, you know!
--- Larry M
The champagne she sent back. It was flat.
Although she let stay
The delicious pate,
She remarked, "I would like fries with that."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
It's clear that Ken Clarke is a charmer.
He's fat, and he smokes,
And tells terrible jokes,
Like the one about Huntley and Palmer.
--- Kevin Hale Q
She must spend all her time in the galley.
Oh my, how she's spread
From her toes to her head.
She is now more boulevard than alley.
--- Tom Patton P0502
In "Gunsmoke", behind swinging doors.
Though among her long suites
Were her young prostitutes,
And "A heart big as all of outdoors".
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0508
Him from doing his job as a cop.
When his unit's SWAT team
Stopped at Karl's Krispy Kreme,
Kojak sucked on a big lollipop.
--- William Nesbit P0106
A role that required a toupee,
He would purchase a wig
To handle the gig,
And was ruggedly handsome, they say.
--- Hugh Clary
Turned out to be two kinds of sick.
He fell off his horse,
She's loony, of course,
So they took her away really quick.
--- Anon
Who carried 'round plenty of cargo.
She played Lois Lane
Before going insane,
And her brain turned into escargot.
--- Anon
She knew what to do with a cob.
Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring,
As Princess she did ring
The chimes of Buffalo Bob!
--- Annie Jay
That freshly scrubbed girly next door.
She cried, "Mr. Grant!"
As he got in her pants,
"I never knew what that was for!"
--- Arden
TV programs for kiddies showed cruel
And unusual perversions
Or sexual diversions.
My favorite was "Muffin The Mule".
--- Anon
That inventions should get our salute.
For the greatest invention,
There can be no contention;
It's that button, so simple, called "Mute."
--- Al Chaplin P0303
Napoleon Solo, that bon vivant,
Would eagerly flaunt
Ilya--the gallant
Brave, blond, cute Russian confidante.
--- Lynn Mostafa
If it isn't another, it's one.
Though it's rather harebrained,
At least they're entertained.
They're like Romans, when all said and done.
--- Warrick Elrod
On Sunday it's some greedy parson.
And spaced in between
Is the juvenille scene.
How I long for the days of Greer Garson.
--- Gifford Wherry
Has secrets she'll never disclose.
Except to her Gillian,
And seventy million
Odd viewers of Oprah's talk-shows.
--- Nick D Kim A
They found dope piled high in a stack.
When they lifted her dress,
'Twas a terrible mess;
They found forty pounds of crack!
--- Bobby
Just might show a shoulder or gam.
Her Baywatch swimsuit
Is red and it's cute,
But for Playboy, it's doffed, thank you ma'am.
--- Satori Press
Bill Clinton is trying to scotch it,
But (this is rare),
I really don't care.
I have no intention to watch it.
--- John Miller
Complained an old lady named Bowes,
"Will just out of spite
Come on Saturday Night
And preempt all the good TV shows."
--- Attic Salt P9809
MORE