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A primitive humanoid, Di, A primitive humanoid, Eek, A primitive humanoid, Eft, A primitive humanoid, Eg, A primitive humanoid, Ek, A primitive humanoid, Ekt, A primitive humanoid, Gu, (asparagus spear?)
A primitive humanoid, Id, A primitive humanoid, Iff, A primitive humanoid, Ik, A primitive humanoid, Ik, A primitive humanoid, It, A primitive humanoid, Og, A primitive humanoid, Uck, A primitive humanoid, Uck, A primitive humanoid, Ooah, A primitive humanoid, Ya, The folks of the stone age weren't thick; The Aeneolithi's prolific Going back to the paleolithic, "Why don't you," said Tracy to Clare, "When Quentin comes back from the pub, "Though he's kind, and he's terribly loyal, If for cave folk these names do seem strange, A caveman who called himself Og, A silly mistake and unwise, It seems Og deserved what he got, About women, I've heard the news sung; What are now fibroid tumors today, That's bad news for fellows, I hear; There once was a caveman called Ogg Now his great great great ancestor Tid Our Ogg of the paleolithic But the girls all exclaimed it in chorus: Oh Ogg, we're afraid you might kill us So it seems that our Ogg has a plan He was desperate for a solution What people are most stupid, here 'Cause thousands of years ago, Now, the smart ones real quickly got But what did the rest of them do? There's nothing like Eskimo tail, I'm a member of an old family. My family is quite old as well. I hear they have recently dug Now Ugga and Ugg in vice blushed, That Ugg lad was certainly bold. Said a genealogical twit, "Its background, in turn, was quite stark; Down ages through eons of time, You slimy primordial swimmer, Said a molecule one ancient day: There once was a man from Nantucket, There was an old fellow named Bryan, They say we all come from a monkey, I'm sorry to go on with this rant, After hearing a clutter of tapes While the news of today makes me weary, Bs Charles Darwin rolls in his grave, I'm sorry to bore you with news, I doubt that he'll find satisfaction, A meal of Intelligent Design So sorry to go on with this rant Intelligent design is a cause The "experts" are far too prestigous, Without any intent to malign
Was searching her crack for a fly.
Along came a guy,
Who asked for a try;
From then the day seemed to fly by.
--- TuttaGioia
Liked to play hide-and-seek
With the clit of his mate.
It would get him quite straight,
But she'd spoil all with a leak.
--- TuttaGioia
Whose penis did not have much heft,
Said, "It looks kinda cute,
But who wants a newt
Flopping around in her cleft."
--- TuttaGioia
So ugly he just had to beg
The ugliest hag
For one paltry shag,
Then after, they'd piss on his leg.
--- TuttaGioia
Met a Yorkshire lass next to a beck. (small stream)
He rogered her twice,
She said, "That was nice."
So he gave her a third one, by heck.
--- TuttaGioia
Decided to start a new sect.
The idol, his phallus;
(A god without malice)
The command, when displayed...Genuflect!
--- TuttaGioia
With his spear went out hunting a Gnu.
A cannibal band
Put his testicles and
A sparrow, Gu's spear, in the stew.
--- TuttaGioia
Was surprised when his wife had a kid.
He was not very clear,
How it came to be here.
He knew not what it was that he did!
--- TuttaGioia
Chiseled a monstrous glyph,
Representing the vulva.
(He rejected a culver)
While carving he always was stiff.
--- TuttaGioia
Has his eye on a feminoid chick...
She touched his thigh
Then said with a sigh,
"Oh Ik, you are much too damn quick!"
--- TuttaGioia
Formed the first bishoprick.
But instead of a ring,
A much later thing,
All had to kiss the bishop's prick.
--- TuttaGioia
Went hunting, a stag's throat to slit.
He was caught by a bear,
Who ate all but his hair,
Then went off to have a good shit.
--- TuttaGioia
With his dog, went in search of a snog.
They met a young bitch,
Not wearing a stitch.
Who bagged, snogged, and shagged, Og or dog?
--- TuttaGioia
Went out to find something to fuck.
A young dinosaur
Got him stuck in his craw;
The dinosaur choked. What bad luck!
--- TuttaGioia
Had some orthinological luck.
He was tickled to bits
By a pair of blue tits,
On a bird he proceeded to fuck.
--- TuttaGioia
Dragged a woman down to his boudoir.
What happened, I guess,
Though she didn't say yes,
Was uh uh uh, uh uh uh, uh.
--- TuttaGioia
Met a girl by the river Volga.
At first she said, "Nyet,"
Then began to feel wet,
And finished by saying, "Da, da."
--- TuttaGioia
Their tools could be terrific.
They made them by dint
Of copper and flint,
Throughout the age of Aeneolithic.
--- Anon
Inventors were always specific.
The made thing by dint
Of copper and flint.
Using mud wasn't half as terrific.
--- Anon
(And perhaps I am not scientific-
Ally Correct, but then who
Cares.) There we find two
Young ladies in talk analytic.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Be more thorough when doing your hair.
The one way to nudge on
A man with a bludgeon
Is coiffure." But her friend said "Don't care."
--- Tiddy Ogg
His foreplay's the same, with the club.
But he then grabs my feet,
Not my hair, like your Pete,
And it does cause me grief, that's the rub."
--- Tiddy Ogg
It's a habit I really must foil,
'Cause that way around,
When I'm dragged on the ground,
My pussy gets filled up with soil."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Well, high in the Transpennine range,
There are caves, and the walls
Are covered with scrawls;
It just proves that some names never change.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Had lived all his life in a bog.
Extinction he faced,
So in desperate haste,
He buggered his friendly old dog.
--- PeterW
'Cause the dog turned around in surprise,
And quick as a jiffy,
He bit off his stiffy,
Which hastened his final demise.
--- PeterW
In trying to cornhole old Spot.
He should have resolved
Just how far Spot's evolved.
Canis familiaris the lupus type's not.
--- Irish
They're evolving; this ain't idle dung;
This may give you a fit,
What we now call a clit,
Will evolve to a gal's second tongue!
--- Allen Wolverton
Will become vocal chords, so they say.
By the year 10k-ten,
Gals will yell at their men
In full stereophonic array!
--- Allen Wolverton
The answer though's patently clear.
As Mellors did latterly
With young Lady Chatterly,
You're deaf with a tit in each ear.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who lived most of his life in a bog.
With his wife Ermintrude,
He wrote limericks rude,
Hieroglyphically carved on a log.
--- Anon
Has deciphered them; lifting the lid
On the old-fashioned ways
Of romance in those days,
When a girl did whatever was bid.
--- Anon
Thought pussy pelt downright terrific.
And the cavegirls would moan
At the sight of his bone,
Whose lengthy proportions were mythic.
--- Anon
This is file com
He's hung like a brontosaurus!
He'll rupture your gizzard
With that thunder lizard!
It's just too damn fucking big for us!
--- Anon
With the size of your homo habilis.
Its been dragged in the dirt
Where the dinosaurs squirt,
And we do not yet have penicillus.
--- Anon
To see if a large fire can
Illuminate nightly,
Martys cave brightly.
He's evolving into Peking Man
--- Anon
To avert his poor tribes diminution.
When a big kaylipithecus
Quiffened his stifficus,
And ensured Tiddy Oggs evolution.
--- Anon
On this planet, Mother Earth so dear.
I say it's Eskimos
With deep-frozen toes,
And the reason for this should be clear.
--- Anon
These people decided to go
Across the Bering Street,
To a new world to breed,
Arriving in cold Alaska (Oh No!).
--- Anon
The idea that the north was a lot
Too cold, day and night.
So they soon turned right
And came to the south where it's hot.
--- Anon
Did they all search for the heat too?
No, the morons spread
In this land of the dead;
They must have had brains made of poo.
--- Anon
Hale and hardy and not a bit frail.
All warm and squishy
And not the least fishy,
Though it does smell a bit like a whale.
--- Anon
So ancient that our family tree
Fell into a hole
And turned into coal,
Back in something or other B.C.
--- Tony Burrell
I thought that I probably should tell
Your family I'm sorry,
But was a bit chary,
'Cause mine dug the hole where yours fell.
--- Marlene Lewis
Up two cave people, Ugga and Ugg,
Who were trapped in the ice
While indulging in vice;
It's no wonder they're looking so smug.
--- Peter Wilkins
When exploreers into their cave rushed,
With axes and picks,
Getting their kicks.
For Ugga and Ugg it's ice crushed.
--- Travis Brasell
When thawed, the exploreers he told,
"I shouldn't have scorned
My mates when they warned
Me about that Ugga, she's COLD."
--- Frank Fazed
"It appears I must finally quit,
I've traced all my lineage
Through thick and through thineage
To the first protozoa that split."
--- Robert H. Maximoff P9102
Its ancestors met on a lark.
I note with alarm
That one was pure charm,
While one, by queer quirk, was a quark."
--- Robert M Maximoff P9102
Evolution, females made the climb.
Left back on the trail,
Homo sapient male
Still swims in primordial slime.
--- Anon
You couldn't show up as much dimmer.
That one word you sent
Shows how you are bent.
I doubt if you're much of a quimmer.
--- Archie
"I'm so tired of this transient way.
Existing, abating,
Without replicating."
And presto! There was DNA!
--- Alexander Baron
Who kept all his brains in a bucket.
They said, he's the kind
Screams Intelligent Design!
When the bucket got full, he'd just chuck it.
--- Science Creative Quart
Whose voice was forevermore cryin'
"Do you think that my shape
Was derived from an ape?
Well, I think Charlie Darwin was lyin'."
--- Berton Braley P9611A
But I say that theory is bunky.
'Cause as everyone knows
Who talks to creationist pros,
That some people are closer to donkey.
--- Science Creative Quart
But crazy Righties just can't
Dismiss Evolution
From the Science Revolution.
The students must learn to advance.
--- mdt1
From the Little Rock trial, lawyer Mapes
Said, "No need to be leery;
They prove Darwin's theory; ---
The Creationists all act like apes.
--- Clifford M Christ P8208 A
This drops me a notch into teary:
"We hate evolution,
So here's our solution:
Mask Genesis as ID theory!"
--- Big MIck
The Bush man returns to his cave.
With science so tribal;
It comes from the Bible?
Just part of the New Christian Wave.
--- Big Mick
And my obvious liberal views,
But religious compliance
Stomping all over science...
This stuff really gives me the blues!
--- Big Mick
Nor even a lucid reaction.
Behind the smoke screen,
There's an ID machine, (intelligent design)
Building weapons of media distraction.
--- Virge
When served with the fruit of divine
Is lacking in beef,
Which supports my belief
That it's tripe marinating in whine.
--- Virge
But, crazy Righties just can't
Dismiss Evolution
From Science Curriculum,
Where students learn to advance.
--- Anon
Espoused by some makers of laws.
Their theory'd be finer
If they named the designer;
Perhaps it could be Santa Claus.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0511Q
Their "theories" all bound and contiguous.
With faith in their peers,
And so it appears
With a fervor that bounds on religous
--- John Miller
Either side, isn't this tack benign?
Couldn't our rise through slime
Over eons of time,
Be its own intelligent design?
--- Loren Fitzhugh
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