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A commodore crossing the ocean "Brokeback" is off like a comet! (Brokeback Mountain - Hollywood movie 2005 on gay cowboys)
It happened while travelling by train; Once out on the lake in Dubuque, There was a young lady of Twickenham, I intrude on your discourse, "Ahem!" I was needing to take a cab ride, A dinner of tender roast duck A stalwart young fellow was Hearst, Once out on the lake at Dubuque, A swinging young pair, Liz and Luke, In the record store, 'round two o'clock, A sweet thing who sailed from Land's End Zippity, bippity, bup, A rapist ran into a snag How her vomiting spoiled their euphoria A happy young girl from Peoria In Gloria's school bus last Monday A nervous young lady called Jane There once was a man from Nantucket, Irish, of wit, you're the soul. A film star who hailed from Cronulla, (Sidney suburb) Tossed up beer mixed with pizza's a maw-full; I once knew a fellow named Duke, A contrabassoonist named Milton (Wilton - expensive carpeting)
My teachers are driving me nuts! An elf swallowed Irish confetti, When the T.V. news anchor, Fred Buck, I deal with pitch and handle roll, A silver-haired bastard from Saks At our party, a co-ed, named Grace Though if you have got the dry heaves, The U.W. campus abounds Asked old Gus, "Do you have room in this hack There was a young lady named Gail There was a young fellow called Cheek, That Republican lad from Sinn Fein, I don't have a problem with drink, Old Charlie ate corned beef and cabbage; There once was a drunkard named Zack If you get drunk and make yourself hurl, A down-in-the-mouth butler named Jeeves There once was a man named Paul The center is never so neat, There once was a person called Luke, A lady of unfortunate proboscity On a park bench a gentleman sat, "Lookee here, sir, this looks like a rock, Said the gent, "Guess it is, heaven knows, I once knew a pair of old fogies (Aussie Princess of Pop)
There was a young fellow named Mose, There once was a man from Minot, Among the universal NO's -- (Ingredients do not expose.)
I once blew a bogey so thick, son, There was a young fellow named Lucas, In igloo land's where I met Rose; From the nose of a girl named Lamott Hope I won't be accused of depravity Social guides are quite vague; no one knows, They're weirdos, the Ivan P Kruegers; A rumbling sound from Sonny Said Willie, "I've got a humdinger There was a nosepicker undaunted A neighborhood boy, young Mickey, 'Tis true that our boogers comprise Our children, it's said, may avert
Detested the undulant motion;
Afraid he'd be sacked,
He put on an act,
Forstalling the heaves and demotion.
--- R J Winkler P8406
To view it would trash my aplomb. It
Would cause me to roam
To the old people's home,
To watch all the old ladies vomit.
--- John Miller
Their stomachs began raising cain.
Ed and Sally, so far
From the rest-room car,
Puked a bucket and left a big stain.
--- Sal R
A girl took a ride with a duke.
He remarked, "I am sure
You are honest and pure,"
Then he leaned right over to puke.
--- Anon
Whose shoes were too tight to walk quick in 'em.
She came back from a walk
Looking whiter than chalk,
And took them both off and was sick in 'em.
--- Oliver Herford
With a subsequent thought that's a gem.
I'm not being rude
With this short interlude,
Since I needed to clear out my phlegm.
--- Donna Lee Dom
And before long, a yellow I spied.
I said "Have you room here,
For some pizza and beer?"
He said "Sure!" - so I threw up inside.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Made Bonnie Prince Charlie say, "Yuck!"
The sight of the fowl
Would cause him to scowl
And the taste was enough to up Chuck.
--- Neal Wilgus P8209
But the sickness he had was the worst.
After fucking old Clausia,
He developed a nausea
And did not know which end to set first.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0191
A girl took a sail with a Duke.
He remarked, "I am sure
You are honest and pure."
And then leaned far over to puke.
--- Anon
Wanting sex truly fit for a duke,
Bought a water-filled bed
But were sadly misled:
They confess they don't climax -- they puke.
--- Armand E Singer 647
Gwen felt ill; like, her face turned to chalk;
To the clerk (innards thumping):
"I'm looking for something
By... Johahn... Sebastian......BAAAAACH!
--- Anon
Swore she'd hold out to the end.
But the swell of the ocean
Was filled with the motion --
She did what she didn't intend.
--- P8209
The cute little mouse ran up,
The long slender leg,
Of the young lady Peg,
And scared her so that she threw-up.
--- Anon
When he entered the home of the hag.
She had a nice frame
But her face was a shame,
And her breath made him shudder and gag.
--- Neal Wilgus P8209
As they rode the bus home from Peoria!
And that's the true story
Of how little Glory
Became known as "Sic transit Gloria."
--- Vassar W Smith P9305
Won passage to Rome. What euphoria!
But the flight changed her luck;
All she did was upchuck.
Pale faced she moaned, "Sic Transit Gloria."
--- Ellen Alaka P9506
She threw up -- it wasn't a fun day.
Now the seat that she sat in
In labeled in Latin
As: "Sic Transit Gloria Mundi."
--- John E Mayhood P9804a
Was terribly sick in the train.
Folk made such a fuss,
She got on the bus,
And threw up all over again.
--- Funfax Limericks
Who ate all his SPAM from a bucket.
His tummy was round,
And his neck it was bound,
Till the pressure built up and he chucked it.
--- Kevin Kepley
And as I hang on to the bowl,
I'm hawin' and hemmin',
And upchucking lemon,
Still laughing at stories you tole.
--- Anon
Got on board a plane bound for 'Tulla. (Tullamarine airport)
'Til the plane left the ground,
Then he starred in a yawn, technicolor.(techn..yawn - vomit)
--- Anon
Just to leave slop and lumps is unlawful;
As the ladies pass by,
I can hear an outcry:
"Oh my word, look at that; it is offal!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Who could hurl great wodges of puke.
Reams of green vomit
Would shoot like a comet,
And the sound was akin to a nuke.
--- MrMalo
Once dined rather well at the Hilton.
He forked out twelve smackers,
Then threw up cream crackers
And Stilton all over the Wilton.
--- Ron Rubin
Making us all kiss butts --
They dress so tacky
And it drives us all wacky,
That we all want to hurl up our guts.
--- New Jersey Poet
But thought that his problem was petty;
While counting his gold,
Why, lo and behold!
He belched up a whale's spermaceti!
--- Travis Brasell
Didn't wish with "Dead Air" to be stuck,
Such time gaps he'd pass on
To his weatherman, Vaughn,
"As to weather, tell us what's up, Chuck."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0010
Though both these moves do take their toll.
When it comes to YAW
I just set my jaw,
And head down below for the bowl.
--- Norm Brust
Got drunk and spewed up on my slacks.
I said, "You're a prick!
You deserve to get sick!"
Then I fed him a dozen Big Macs!
--- Anon
Got so drunk, like man, just shit-face!
She suddenly barfed,
All the pizza she'd scarfed;
All the guys gave her plenty of space!
--- Anon
From drinking the juice of the sheaves,
Then maybe it's best.
(The butler won't rest)
Be daring and simply ask Jeeves!
--- Anon
With beer drinking and raucous sounds.
I wish that they might
Be quiet at night,
While barfing all over the grounds.
--- Ron O P9103
This is file cmm
For twelve beers, plus a big pizza snack?"
Driver said "Yes, I guess,"
Then old Gus made a mess,
When he threw up all over the back!
--- Michelle
Who dined upon lobster and quail,
And then lots of bubbly,
The cause of her trouble - She
Brought back her lunch in a pail.
--- Arthur Deex P8209
Who bladder was known to be weak.
After too many Stellas,
He sprayed all us fellas
With the cheese that he got from the Greek.
--- Steve Taylor
Was trying to gain drinker's fame.
Six pints he would guzzle,
Wipe froth from his muzzle,
Then throw up, to do it again.
--- Anon
At least, not the kind you might think;
When I start to feel woozy
Or act like a floozy,
I simply throw up in the sink.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8403 a
These vittles his innards did ravage.
Drank lots of green beer;
Found a bathroom was near;
Now the pipes carried his excess baggage.
--- Vickie Williams
Who puked all his guts in a sack.
As he needed them soon,
With a long-handled spoon
He managed to get them all back.
--- G2070
And then try to hit on a girl,
Don't ask her to dance;
You'll get kneed in the pants.
It's grisly, you puke-covered churl!
--- Eric Seaberg
Has developed some little pet peeves.
His bulimic boss,
A fat broad on the sauce,
Says to save the big chunks when she heaves.
--- Don Moore P9912
Who drank too much ethanol.
When it turned aldehyde
He became sick inside,
And it came out all over the wall.
--- Anon
That careless can you place your feet.
Its the number of boozers,
That causes the losers,
To vomit all over the street.
--- Dave Hefford
Whose ability to drink was no fluke.
He spent each night in a bar
Downing jar after jar,
And afterwards did nothing but puke.
--- Anon
Was equipped with a nasal monstrosity.
But due to the snot,
It was better than twat;
I suppose 'twas the increased viscosity.
--- Anon
And beside him was a poor homeless rat;
Who was fondling this lump;
And he'd now and then grump:
"I'll be damned, I just don't figger that!"
--- Anon
But by feel, it's some rubbery stock";
The gent picked up that lump;
Sniffed & looked, like a chump;
Couldn't quite reach a verdict, ad-hoc.
--- Anon
Not a rock, but it feels, I suppose,
Like rubber, by gum!
From where did it come?"
He replied, "Dug it out of my nose!"
--- Anon
Who collected celebrities' bogies.
They had one of Bob Hope's
And two of the Pope's,
And a green one of Kylie Minogues!
--- Tilbury
An expert at picking his nose.
He extracted a clinker
That was really a stinker,
For it dangled right down to his toes.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1429
Who was nasty -- even as a tot.
He'd wipe his runny nose
On the sleeves of his clothes,
And cover them over with snot.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
It's impolite to pick your nose.
If thus you're espied,
Your finger hide inside
Until that someone elsewhere goes.
--- Irving Superior P9001
And hard; 'twas as stiff as my prick, son.
I fashioned a hook
And found a bare nook,
And hung me a portrait of Nixon.
--- Anon
Who spent his life chewing on mucus.
"For green is the right thing
And this is recycling.
Next week I'll start chewing verrucas."
--- Tiddy Ogg
We greeted with rubs of our nose.
A cold she had got;
We're welded by snot;
By summer we may be unfroze.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Hangs a substance that looks quite a lot
Like a large pearly jewel
But by looking twice you'll
Find from closer inspection it's not.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003
If I say the nutritional gravity
Of the booger dragged out
From the end of your snout,
Depends on the depth of the cavity.
--- Tiddy Ogg
When, in public, you're picking your nose;
It's free style when you pick;
All that counts is, (when slick)
Where the booger gets parked, I suppose!
--- Anon
They dine on whipped cream and fruit sugars.
Avoid soiling their clothes,
Snarling snot up their nose:
They claim they like recycled boogers.
--- Armand Singer
Is a harbinger of a nose runny.
In front or behind,
You'd better recline
Or your hair soon will be all gummy.
--- Jessie Gunnard
Of a question to throw in the ringer:
If you say it is sick
My nostril to pick,
Then why is it the size of my finger?"
--- Hugh Clary
By threats of his parents who taunted.
They proposed it be cured
And a gift they procured,
But he said it was snot what he wanted.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2825
Had boogers incredibly sticky.
His nose it was mined
For glue so refined,
We scarcely considered it icky.
--- Anon
A snack that is healthful and wise.
For toxin defense,
Our nostrils condense
Ingestible serum supplies.
--- Anon
Diseases by eating some dirt.
That's why there's a place
Convenient, on face,
And not on the sleeve of your shirt.
--- Anon
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