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A pretty young archer named Jane Such a symbol of stud we derive A farmer, in town on the booze There once was a member of Mensa, A champion fencer named Mort A talented fencer named Boyle There was a pirate named Pete, A student of fencing, untrussed, There was a young girl with a bust The gladiators bravely cry Expert marksman, famed Rogers N Clarke, A jouster, Sir Lancelot Cratchet, A compulsive young marksman from Groton, There was a young woman named Plunnery There was a young lady named Kessel, There once was a young lady sniper, Some people shoot -- not for meat; I pine for those pigeons of clay When I read the words that you wrote, Eduardo was shooting the skeet; The nudge of a shotguns recoil, Let's give laurels to Christopher Quinn I wonder how Ali is coping; From north Hants, the next on my list: There was a young boxer two-fisted, A pugilist name of Persimmon As champ, the "Brown Bomber" so drew us, There once was a fighter named London A boxer from Malta named Raymon An incompetent boxer named Cox, A pugilist, Punchy McClout, In the boxing ring, there's none grander A heavyweight boxer named Potter A boxer knocked out in round three There was an ex-boxer named Bruno A boxer who hailed from Paw Paw In Vegas, on Saturday night, "I can't hear the fury or sound. Said Evander, "The pain was severe A young black boxer, Joe Louis, A heavyweight fighter in Sidney Lennox Lewis, the champion, still reigns, The champion climbed into the ring, A jab that is followed by right hook, A young man whose ring name was Ace, Mike Tyson, the heavyweight cannibal, About Tyson I don't need to rant any. Mike Tyson is not well regarded; Mike Tyson loved fame and fast cars, We all know he has super-strong jaws, The booing he started to hear, There once was a boxer named Tyson, When Tyson bit Holyfield's ear, There was an old woman named Roper, (about Mike Tyson)
Mike Tyson cannot stand to lose... Mohammed Ali was a star. Mohammed Ali had a punch; There's a boxer residing at Gissing A light heavyweight known as Hooser, There was a prize fighter named Lynn A young boxer living at Outwell Rocky Balboa, that aging old wreck, Poor Rocky walks round in a trance, A lover of humor named Biddle A boxer called Harry the Hunk My all-time favorite MEGILLAH
Was considered by all to be plain.
Her bowstring she'd pull,
But instead of a bull,
Hit a cow, who lowed loudly in pain.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
From the cult of the Colt .45,
For its genital shape
Sends us guys kind of ape,
With that hard, North American drive!
--- Keith MacMillan A134A
Threw up on a city guy's shoes.
When asked would he fight,
He said I just might;
Pitchforks or tractors, you choose!
--- Anon
Who was a most excellent fencer.
The sword that he used
Was his -- (line is refused.
And has now been removed by the censor).
--- Isaac Asimov
Was hurting for lack of support.
When he shopped for a strap,
The clerk saw his tap,
And said, "Sorry! We've nothng that short!"
--- Annie Jay
Once displayed epic skill with his foil.
Deftly thrusting with care
And cool consummate flare,
He lanced his opponent's ninth boil.
--- David A Brooks
While fencing, he dripped on his feet.
The blade of his cutlass
Rendered him nutless,
And poor Pete has a piece of dead meat.
--- Doc B
Told her teacher who lunged with great lust,
"Touche! I am foiled,
Your moves are well oiled,
I can no longer parry your thrust."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511a
Which roused a French cavalier's lust.
She was since heard to say,
About midnight, "Touche!
I didn't quite parry that thrust."
--- G0541
Their, "We who are about to die..."
But what they don't say
Is that "When ends the day,
One half of us have told a lie."
--- Irving Superior P9511
Took a shot at a guy in the dark,
Who was running away
From where Clarke's young wife lay.
She was thankful that Clarke missed her Mark.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0306
Was quite fierce in his armor and hatchet,
But encountered a glitch
With a case of jock itch,
When he found he had no way to scratch it.
--- Anon
When he found he'd a hell of a hot un,
Simply triggered his sights
On a pair of pink tights,
And from twenty-five yards, hit them spot on.
--- Hugh Oliver A029C
Who rejoiced in the practice of gunnery,
Till one day unobservant,
She blew up a servant,
And was forced to retire to a nunnery.
--- Edward Gorey
Who knew how to box and to wrestle.
When a druggist one night
Made remarks impolite,
She subdued him and mortared his pestle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2639
Whose aim time was fast as a viper.
When asked how she did it,
She whipped out a gibbet.
Beware of the once-a-month hyper.
--- Anon
some people hunt -- not to eat.
They say it's for sport,
(Now the ball's in your court)
Please heed my plea -- Save The Skeet!
--- D Carl
Whose short lives are blasted away
Into clouds of grey dust,
By men with marl-lust,
Who cry "Pull!" to their wives at foreplay.
--- Sansuesi
The waste of those skeet, gets my goat --
I took your words to heart,
And am doing my part.
You won't catch me in a skeet coat!
--- Kaylin
His accuracy couldn't be beat.
He'd trained with some thugs
Who distributed drugs,
And he sharpened his aim on the street.
--- Anon
Then a crash of the skeet to the soil.
But they just lay at your feet,
'Cause the skeet you can't eat,
They just take way too damn long to boil.
--- Anon
Who passionately wanted to win.
Whether wrestling or dice,
Or skating on ice,
No matter what game he was in.
--- William K Alsop Jr
I know all his fans are just hoping
It's all a big fake;
A comeback he'll make.
For 10 years he's been rope-a-doping.
--- Tom Myers
Young boxing belle, Julia Twist.
She'll stand for no fools,
And the Queensberry rules
Obeyed; she's the Andover fist.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Too long in the game he persisted.
He received such a clout
That his ass was knocked out,
And his turds were all warped and twisted.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8306
Gave all his opponents a trimmin'.
But not one could compare
To the way he did fare,
With the trimmin' he got from his women.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2746
Diplomatically, though, could unglue us.
Meeting Golda Mier,
With intent not quite clear,
He muttered to cohorts, "Lo! Jewess."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9711
Who gave and took blows with abandon.
But a boxer named Clay
Knocked him K.O. Ole!
And they carried him off in a condom.
--- G2707
Used a big concrete wall to take aim on.
He broke both his arms
And three lucky charms --
One with his grandmother's name on.
--- Michael Palin
Whose noggin took numerous knocks,
Gave up prize-fighting for
A chronometer store,
Where he passes the time cleaning clocks.
--- Jerry Nordal P2005
Took his lady friend out for a bout.
The clumsy old lout
Left the outcome in doubt,
When he ended up down but not out.
--- Pierce Evans
Than heavyweight champion, Evander.
He's very unlike
One known as Iron Mike,
Who likes to bite, grip, and MEANDER!
--- Observer
Performed in the ring like a rotter.
When someone asked why,
He made no reply,
But gulped like a fish out of water.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8306
This is file cgl
Thought he'd write to Muhammad Ali,
For his secret who wrote,
What you do is, you float
Like a butterfly, sting like bee.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Who's not brain of Britain, as you know.
But recently he
Has been going loony,
As all members of his old crew know.
--- Alexander Baron
Had a jutting prognathous jaw.
However, alas!
It was constructed of glass;
For a fighter, a serious flaw.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401
Evander and Mike had a fight.
To enhance his career
By chomping an ear,
But the dust, more than ears, did he bite.
--- K J
Something's gone wrong with this round.
I came for the fighting
But not for the biting."
He said as his ear hit the ground.
--- K J
But of course, I'm still able to hear.
I'd preferred though, you see,
Mike had been like Ali.
He'd have then merely talked off my ear."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9708
Who buggered a bastardly Jewess,
He said with a sigh
As his engine went dry,
"I wonder where all of my goo is."
--- L0486
Was felled by a blow to the kidney.
He says, "I sure see red
Whenever I pee red!
That guy really loused me up, didn't he?"
--- Don Boen P8201
And Tyson, his rival, now trains.
I like Mike's new style
Bite, kick, rape, and revile,
And like Cassius Clay/Ali - no brains.
--- Arthur Deex P0203
His supporters all started to sing.
A flurry of blows,
There was one broken nose.
The king is dead! Long live the king!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Is not fair according to my book.
But just to be fair,
I'll leave it up there,
And go take another good look.
--- Anon
Received lots of blows to his face,
Which flattened his nose,
And affected his toes;
He couldn't keep his feet in one place.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401
That chewer of flesh like mean Hannibal. (Lector)
That predacious bore,
That jerk carnivore,
A muzzle will wear!!...Ain't he bannable?
--- Acetous
Excuses? I don't think I'll grant any.
I only point out
That the asinine lout
Share a habit with Shakespeare's Mark Anthony.
--- Stargazer T9707A
Reputation is long since discarded.
His many bad scrapes
Include biting and rapes;
Pure and simple, the man is retarded.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0203
And made his opponents see 'stars'.
But young Desire
Put Big Mike away,
For three years behind prison bars.
--- Gifford Wherry
And he flaunts civil decency laws.
Though he pouted and cried
He was disqualified
For his salient character flaws.
--- Bill Nesbit P0205
Made Mike Tyson tremble with fear.
Afraid he would lose,
He decided to bruise
Evander by chewing his ear.
--- Gifford Wherry
Who, in love or war, wasn't a nice 'un.
At the Fight of the Year,
He bits Holyfields ear
So hard, it needs sugical splicin'.
--- Prof M-G
I imagine the headline seen here:
"MIKE TYSON FALLS
FROM A BITE ON THE BALLS
END BOTH BOXING AND SEXUAL CAREER!"
--- Writerman T9707
Who said, "My girl married a groper,
Who thought it a jape
To fondle and rape.
Now he's doing six years -- a no hoper."
--- Alexander Baron
Not the catcalls, the jeers, nor the boos...
So he hurriedly lies...
I apologize...
And it's ear-biting now he eschews!
--- Poet Lariat T9707
His boxing skills brought him quite far.
But he went to jail,
Nor did he get bail,
Because he would not go to war.
--- Nick
He could spar from his breakfast to lunch.
A real heavy blow
Could produce a K.O.;
That punch before lunch was a crunch!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who can never say "s" without hissing.
Of the teeth in his mouth,
One points north, and one south,
And the rest of the front ones are missing.
--- Ida Thurtle
Still aches from his loss to a bruiser.
He hurts everywhere,
But people don't care,
'Cause nobody likes a sore loser.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8305
Who was scarred for life on his chin.
Though the surgeon was plastic,
His hand was quite spastic,
Leaving Lynn with a lop-sided grin.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Always managed to get through a bout well.
He was light on his toes,
Good at parrying blows,
And could upper cut, side step, and clout well.
--- Archie
Won the bout when his foe broke his neck,
And cracked open his crown
When he slipped and fell down,
After Rocky had peed on the deck.
--- William N Nesbit P0800
Though he knows it's Sylvester's last chance.
When they holler, "Action."
To get satisfaction,
He proceeds to pee in his pants.
--- Tom Patton P0800
Laughed hard and said, "Here's a cute riddle:
What's black and what's blue
And sissified, too?
A boxer who sits down to piddle."
--- Armand E Singer 458
Said, "All this ju-jitsu is bunk.
I just pack a punch
Where a chap's put his lunch,
And he falls like a load of old junk."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Was the well-publicized "thrilla"
'Tween Frazier and Ali,
A great fight, by golly,
In overseas place called Manila.
--- Observer
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