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To California, with head in the sand, One Dubya is worth two Bin L's. The recount results are just in: If they'd counted the overvote ballots If Joe punches a chad and then writes But the law says the standard to use Gore erred when he didn't demand It's clear now, that Gore would have won Men and women of organized labor "My biggest mistake?" you ask. How Had your questions been earlier declared, Evasions, euphemisms, and elisions To "The Dubya" I pledge my alliegance, Bravo to the wild man, L Flynt, Here's a riddle I'm trying to push, The press longs for phrases VERBATIM Dubya bragged, "I got lots of great hints I tuned on the news just to see My mate, George and I just abhor The Post must believe it controls Last year, the conservative press When King George was safe on a roll, But now that approval is waning, The question was just, after all, Should you give in to the Dems? No way, man! You could call on Senator Baucus There once was a man in the Senate -- With renegades Breaux, Miller, Nelson, Coopting the unholy trio, Although Messrs Breaux, Nelson, Miller, This week everyone has been groaning; I wonder if down there inside When crisis has reached it's conclusion, There once was a weasel named Rove, A hard row to hoe is poor Scooter's; So hit me! the president cried, (chief of staff Andrew Card resigned 2006)
Colin Powell's okay, so I guess A politition named Powell, who You can already hear the Right howl There was a black Yankee called Powell He'll take Colin Powell for a friend, That leaves Saddam ruling the land; The Commerce Secretary, I'd say Why did China so quickly turn nice? There once was a woman called Condi, If ever you cuddle and squeeze a For four years Condoleezza Rice toiled Near Bush you will find Condoleeza; A quote from a woman called Rice, So now, the tables are turned; For Defense, a hero who's very For agency heads, Bush/Rove picks Dick Armey says he's not amused He should have the good sense to fake it; For the best drug czar you ever saw, The Bush girls both learned a few licks For Energy, someone who's noble, Judge Rosenberg was a great inspector (involved with 2000 Florida vote)
Based on all the reports that one hears, Goldsmith believed that the war The Geneva Conventions are quaint, It's possible he might be jailed There once was a shrewd politician To keep from being the whole world's doormat, Jeb Bush and Rudy Guiliani Karl Rove starts to look like a jerk Karl Rove hired a poet last night
Bush chanted, "Supply and Demand!"
But when potential losers
Are big oil producers,
He'll give aid with all means at command.
--- Dr Limerick
The price on the head it foretells.
George in the Whitehouse.
Ossy holed up like a mouse.
Both empowered by their oil wells.
--- Tony Burrell
The headlines all scream a Bush win.
But below the fold
The true story is told --
The headline's just media spin.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
Mistakenly tossed as invalid,
They'd have seen Gore won big
But the recount was rigged
So overvotes wouldn't be tallied.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
The same name in handwriting nice,
The counting machine
Rejects, sight unseen
Such ballots for being marked twice.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
Is whether Joe's merely confused,
But intention is clear.
If so, then Joe's mere
Mistake does not his right reduce.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
And overvote recount by hand;
But if he had, Gore
Would have lost, 5 to 4,
Because the Court decreed recounting canned.
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
In a count what was honestly done.
What makes me depressed
Is how the liberal press
Hid this fact under headlines, Bush Won!
--- Dr Limerick 11-11-01
Have rallied their friends and their neighbors
In one all-out push
To defeat George Bush,
Now Bush is returning the favor.
--- Dr Limerick 02-18-01
Can I answer unprepped? I'll allow
That historians will say
"Gosh! Why not this way?
But I'd make all those same mistakes now."
--- Virge
I might have seemed less thought-impaired.
When you probe my mistakes,
My false confidence breaks,
'Cause I don't have my bullshit prepared.
--- Virge
Lend support to destructive decisions.
It remains to be seen
If the boys will come clean
On their media-manipulative revisions.
--- Virge
And will honor him with all expedience.
I'll grant him, I will,
The same praise they gave Bill;
To their example, I'll give my obedience.
--- Anon
Defending the First Amendment
From the generals who
Want to manage the news,
And from papers too chicken to print.
--- Dr Limerick 11-20-01
Though some have been known to go whoosh,
Why are tight panty hose
Like reporters - who knows?
'Cause both of them irritate bush!
--- Anon
To show public figures and rate 'em
To build or lay waste
In the public taste,
For which they may love or just hate 'em.
--- Dr Limerick
And egged my gang on to dark stints,
From a book read to me,
On my Daddy's knee."
It was, Machiavelli's, The Prince.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310
Reports on what you whipped out free.
Alas and alack,
The Bushes are back;
There was no good story for me.
--- Anon
Views of refugees, sheep, or the poor.
Why not tell us we're great,
And we've set the world straight,
Then leave us to plan our next war.
--- Leslie Porter
The movement in King George's polls;
Like Canute and the tide,
Their command's been applied,
But the downward momentum still rolls.
--- Dr Limerick
Found appointments made during recess
Legally problematic
And undemocratic --
But now, for their guy, they're the best.
--- Dr Limerick 01-11-02
With stratospheric approval polls,
The Washington Post
Would ask folks, foremost,
If they approved how he'd handled the role.
--- Dr Limerick 02-24-02
Is the great Post abruptly abstaining
From popping the question
To dodge the suggestion,
That good sense and fair play might be gaining?
--- Dr Limerick 02-24-02
A part of the Post pollster's call.
But we're not supposed to know
Bush's approval is low
'Til after the elections of fall.
--- Dr Limerick 02-24-02
Don't let the libs lead us astray, man.
When you name your top aides
You'll get very good grades
If your AG is Larry Klayman.
--- Anon
As one of the Democrat Caucus.
Even better would be,
Army Secretary
Tank Commander Michael Dukakis.
--- Anon
Republican guy name of Bennett,
Who said God will send
His Commandments to men,
And if the Lord won't, I'll invent it.
--- Nancy Cahill
King George tried again to put bells on
The neck of Tom Daschle,
Who knows how to wrassle
And the properties to put hotels on.
--- Dr Limerick 12-17-01
Of Miller, and Nelson, and Breaux,
Won't be quite enough.
Bush will find it tough
To back up his bag-ga-do-cio.
--- Dr Limerick 12-17-01
Have been bought, as if three contract killers,
By Daschle's authority,
A super majority
Of Dems must be bought or bewildered.
--- Dr Limerick 12-17-01
About shadow governors they're droning.
I thought we had banned
Such things in this land,
Yet Bush has been government cloning.
--- Gary Hallock
Those bunkers where bureaucrats hide,
Their budgets are double
Then we're all in trouble.
They've taken us all for a ride.
--- Gary Hallock
We'll cease with this shadow illusion.
Bush comes out of hiding,
Without shadow sighting,
And we've six more years of confusion.
--- Gary Hallock
This is file cdm
For Bush's agenda he strove.
Now Bush and McClellan,
Are hiding the felon.
All three should wind up on the stove
Took the fall for his boss and his tutors.
But there's little to fear;
Redemption is near;
He'll be pardoned and find work at Hooters.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
To the dealer who sat by his side.
It won't be that hard
For me to dis-Card;
We'll dump him for someone untried.
--- Meps N Barry
He played the same roll as Herr Hess.
The sour grapes he then plucked,
'Cause George Bush had him fucked;
He's a softy like our own sweet Bess.
--- Dirruk
Showed some evidence that was untrue.
"They had W.M.D.'s (weapons of mass destruction)
By the ton, I believe."
But they still haven't found just one clue!
--- Anon
At the selection of General Powell.
On drugs and abortion
And affirmative action,
He leans left and gives no disavowal.
--- Election 2000
Whose name bore a very strange vowel.
His reading of 'Colin'
Had Englishmen howlin'
And calling a linguistical foul.
--- Lester Haines
To confirm the military trend.
We've noted before,
He can't win a war,
But pulls out in front at the end.
--- Tony Burrell
No defeat, lots of oil, he feels grand.
The poor folks of Iraq,
They did not get Jack;
Just acres and acres of sand.
--- Tony Burrell
Should look at business in a new way.
Someone who knows the net
Is the kind you should get,
So pick the man who founded e-Bay.
--- Anon
Did you think that one sorry'd suffice?
No, it freed U.S. crew
When it learned that it's true,
There's a White House insider named Rice!
--- Anon
Of whom the Far Right was so fondi.
She'd pass the buck by
Going, "Lie? Oh, my, my...
I assure you my word is my bondi."
--- Anon
Bit roughly, You'll find Condoleeza
Has bladder temperamental,
She's incontinental,
And piss trickles down past her kneeza.
--- Q
As Deus ex machina, war oiled.
The harm can't be denied
Which she'll do if she's fried,
But think of the hell if she's boiled.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0501
The CIA's job is to please her.
She's Dubya's right hand;
A chief of his band;
Perhaps he just keeps her to squeeze her.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
"Not invading Iraq, there's a price.
The high cost of gas
Is a pain in the ass.
A cheap source of oil would be nice."
--- Anon
It's Dubya's turn to be burned.
With Cheney and Brownie
And Delay and Ronnie,
Frist may be first to be turned.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Beribboned, like Nebraska's Kerrey.
Or one even better,
An Army go-getter -
Col. Hackworth for Secretary.
--- Anon
A fox to guard over the chicks.
Obtuse and stubborn,
It's no way to govern,
When the Dems have the power to nix.
--- Dr Limerick
By reports in the mag, U.S. News,
That many Hill dems
Call him and his friends,
The American Taliban crew.
--- Dr Limerick 11-15-01
On the record, the facts are quite naked.
He calls Barney Frank,
Congressman Fag.
He can dish it out but he can't take it.
--- Dr Limerick 11-15-01
One who's well versed in every drug law,
One thing you could do
Is to pick one of two -
Filmdom's Downey or outfielder "Straw."
--- Anon
On banjo and then, just for kicks,
They practiced like mad
And formed for their dad
A duo; they're called Tipsy Chicks.
--- Graham Lester
With a reputation that's global.
Despite Democrat howls,
And their mumbles and growls,
Appoint the CEO of Mobil.
--- Anon
Of votes in the Florida sector.
With magnifying glass
He found chads, which would pass.
For FBI, make him Director.
--- Anon
Mrs. Bush, as First Lady, earns cheers.
There is about Laura
A very fine aura,
Which the White House has not seen in years.
--- Anon
Broke international law,
But then changed his mind
And fell in behind:
George Bush's New Labour whore.
--- Jarmo
Said Gonzales. A scholar he ain't.
But he's Dub's nominee
For the post of AG, (Attorney General)
Where no doubt he will rule sans restraint.
--- Mad Kane
When all his excuses have failed.
Liberals greet the indictment
With joyous excitement;
They're delighted the Hammer got nailed.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
Who practiced the art of dirt-dishin'.
Then Earle said "Indict!"
They did it for spite.
Now Tom has more time for trout fishin'.
--- Anon
Controlling borders is where it is at.
So the force should be led
By new INS head,
Bay Buchanan's big brother named Pat.
--- Anon
Are finding it very unfunny
That most of the nation
Find much titilation
In affairs of top Republicani.
--- Dr Limerick 05-23-01
As the Plame goof he tries to BURKE.
But with Bush at his side
He'll run and he'll hide,
And this tactic will probably work.
--- Norm Brust
To laud the conservative right.
The rhyme "bright" came to mind
So the job he resigned,
Broke his pencil and turned out his light.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
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