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There was a young man of Barnes Bay Said the Newfie, undoing his coat, My fantasy I finally did tell; One sport does he truly relish; Once Walter sailed out on his yacht A deep-water sailor called Rod We fished off the pier at Gulf Shores A large Chinook swam upstream; Rapala, Garcia, Shakespeare -- A patient old angler named Nate A fisherman name of McNish A fisherman fishing at Mayfair, When men tell their wives they've gone fishin', I'm classed as an expert logician. There was a man in Michigan, There once was an angler from Bunker There once was a woman named Flapper, My guide sent this note of regret: It's a late evening treat to hear But listen! Did I hear a shout? Mindless Nimrods prove one thing for sure This Rat-faced McDougal should do. It's five. John's still holding the net. Richard's not ready to quit. In spring, summer, winter, and rain, "Armand, did your nymphs fish today?" We're the fly fishers of Grizzly Peak. We write here a nice little story That fisherman met a sad fate, A humorist living in Mission There once was a fish in the sea; An ice fisherman fell in a rut I fish in the deep blue sea; Two anglers, some trout were chasing, I've never fly-cast near a REDD, A fellow out fishing in Michigan A Jake Baker whose nickname was "Bake", The new fisherman sat on the bank; One Sunday, a schoolboy named Mike I tried on a pair of new Wranglers, If you need to catch fish, be forethoughter, A trout breaks the surface for flies There was an old codger from Thune Invited to fish at Cape Cod, In the Northwest were once great steelhead, Fishing on the Chesapeake Bay, If he buys any more fishing stuff, When one tries to describe Canal Flats, A young Scottish sailor named Menzies, There once was a young lad from Ryde, As a grouper, men are quite slow Perch-ance on salmon-chanted day, He asked me to go fishing with him, At home is where I should've stayed -- But that wasn't the worst, nosiree -- No, fishing's not my cup of tea -- A Swedish man was arrested; Very annoyed did he feel, The judge says, "Young man, you're a heel, The perils of weather, springtime, Reminds me of tale that is true, Dennis had promised to take 'Twas on the last weekend in May, Our feet cold from fording small streams, Poor Dennis, then taken aback, Dead tired and now wet and cold, The sleeping bag that I had brought,
Who went fishing one sunshiny day.
He caught one small mullet
Which he slipped in his wallet.
"The big ones," he said, "got away."
--- John Blyth
"Watching TV at home gets my vote;
'Cause although it's quite nice
When you fish through the ice,
You need such a big hole for the boat."
--- Hugh Oliver 22a
He said that he had one as well --
But his secret wish
Was that I'd learn to fish --
So I guess that we're both S.O.L.!
--- Anon
My hubby lives only to fish.
He spends all his time
With boat, bait, and line;
To be buried at sea is his wish.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'Til he came to a hot fishing spot.
When he cast out his hook,
And he caught a large snook.
He said: "Am I a great angler, or what?"
--- William K Alsop Jr
Used to dive in and rescue live cod.
He wasn't a fool
Who thought nets were cruel,
But he certainly was pretty odd.
--- Michael Palin
And caught some strange things by the scores;
I caught some crabs
With little white scabs;
By brother, though, caught him two whores.
--- Travis Brasell
When I saw him I thought him supreme.
I tried my net custom-made,
But he managed to evade;
Then I woke, it was only a dream
--- Anon
He's got all the best brands of gear,
But I told him, "Sweetheart,
The fish aren't that smart --
They can't read the brand names, my dear!"
--- Kaylin
Had never had so long a wait.
But what Nate didn't know
Was that hours ago
The fish, from his hook, stole the bait.
--- Warrick Elrod
Could not catch the fish he did wish.
He was told he should not
Simply fish in one spot;
There was plenty of sea where to fish.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2700
Hauled out a crab who said, "Hey there!"
Some things, it would seem,
Are removed from the stream,
That would have been better to stay there.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They're oft on a different mission.
To their partners they say,
"There's less risk that way,
And it's part of the oral tradition."
--- Scandalous Limerix
I know physics and also cognition.
I think quite a lot,
But it means diddly-squat.
When push comes to shove, I go fishin'.
--- Al Willis
Who used to wish and wish again,
For Spring to come
So he could bum
And go away and fish again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who thought that he'd go catch a lunker.
He got an old boat
And set it afloat,
But he hit a big rock and he sunk her.
--- Melda Lashley P9302
Went fishing on islands named Dapper;
With five horny guys,
Who had pricks like their thighs,
She returned with a single red snapper.
--- Umpty Scratch TP9804
"Are we going fishing? You bet!
But all of this rain
Has caused some disdain;
Be prepared for the fish to be wet!"
--- Travis Brasell
Folk music, when we've doffed our gear.
Mandolin and guitar
Makes the woods ring afar.
We listen with gold-ribbed hair's ears!
--- Kathryn Hughes
I do believe it is a large trout.
It's quite a fine catch
And one you won't match.
Now darling, let's not see that pout.
--- Kathryn Hughes
If their careless acts they won't abjure,
As when fishing with flies,
They hook hands, clothing, thighs.
They'll cause angling to lose its allure.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9710
I've tied it especially for you.
So David is urging
While something's emerging,
To nibble a nice gaudy chew.
--- Kathryn Hughes
Cries Shanna, "They are not back yet?"
So much for those slackers,
We've champagne and crackers.
Much better than this it can't get.
--- Kathryn Hughes
He's certain that he'll get a hit,
In his leaky waders
with orange Stimulators,
From a fat trout that's lacking in wit.
--- Kathyrn Hughes
It's fly fishing that keeps us all sane.
Our drenched camp looks fine
As we sip Kirstone's wine,
While John talks up the next gift exchange.
--- Kathryn Hughes
"I really don't have much to say."
We are spinning our tales
Of trout big as whales,
And hooked ones that don't get away.
--- Kathryn Hughes
In our waders downriver we sneak.
Evading the crowd,
We roll-cast the McCloud
While the large rainbows play hide and seek.
--- Kathryn Hughes
About the fisherman's rowing dory.
A dory's also a fish,
Which, I think, is Brit-ish.
Do you fish for dory from a dory?
--- William K Alsop Jr
That I have had thousands,to date.
It wasn't that he
Had to go take a pee;
He needed to go master bait.
--- Anon
Consulted his family physician;
He said, "I am here
With a hook in my ear;
I've been over in Nuclear, fishin'."
--- Lims Unlimited
No feistier fish could there be.
Along came a gold glimmer
And greed calmed the sinner.
And now, that big fish is in me.
--- R G Trepanier
Saying, "I'd give this up but then what
Could I do half as nice
Than hook Plaice through the ice.
Which I do just for the Halibut.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9803
It sure-as-hell is not free.
Boat, gas and bait,
Line, reel and weight;
The jerk on the line is me.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file cdl
In a lake, when a policeman came pacing.
"Hey, you can't fish here!"
"Us fishing? No fear."
Said the men. "We're just maggot racing."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Or on steelhead trout ever fed.
But bass of all sort
Are my fishing sport,
With bait or plug casting instead.
--- Chris Papa
Was wishing he might catch a fish again,
But the fishing conditions
Didn't match his ambitions,
So there aren't any fish on his dish again.
--- Jerry Nordal P0410
Went to sea to fish for some hake.
Though the weather was fair,
His hooks remained bare;
He'd better go fish in a lake.
--- William K Alsop Jr
By his side was a waterfilled tank.
What he took from the lake,
A fish pie would not make.
His hopes for this new hobby sank.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Took his rod to go fishing for pike.
But he went home distraught,
For all that he caught
Was six boots and a rusty old bike.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
So tight that they damaged my danglers;
They dropped in a stream
And got gobbled by bream,
Which annoyed all the regular anglers.
--- Peter Wilkins
And figure out what you should orter.
I feel free to opine
That you jerk on the line,
But first put the line in the water!
--- Al Willis
Or deep on the lake bottom lies.
But Canadian fish
Have no choicce what they wish --
When the mercury rises they rise.
--- Hugh Oliver 118d
Whose hobby, by the light of the moon,
Was fishing for fillets
In rusty old skillets
And using a runcible spoon.
--- Rudolf Ammann
I packed my fine, sturdy, long rod
Inside of young Heather,
Who wore crotchless leather
That covered one helluva bod!
--- Travis Brasell
Where once over rainbows they sped.
In Spring and Fall dawn,
They'd return to spawn
In some creek or river's rocky REDD.
--- Daniel Ford
'Cause stripers are running, hooray!
One, almost a meter,
(As long as my peter),
I caught, but this one got away.
--- Anon
He may get his wish, sure enough!
He needs more fishing poles
Like his head needs more holes --
I think fifty-eight is ENOUGH!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
There is no use resorting to stats.
It's not fashion or chic
Makes the locals unique,
It's the trout flies they wear in their hats.
--- John E Mayhood P0010
Enjoyed himself sailing in dingys,
To see what he'd get
With the aid of a net,
Like shrimps and other nice thingys.
--- Gerald Bosacker (?)
Whose girlfriend took him for a ride.
For while he was out,
Fishing for some trout;
The neighbour was spanking her hide.
--- Anon
At understanding women, you know.
Always casting about
With their cod-piece for trout,
And begging and whining for a blow....(fish)
--- Ericka
A romantic sturgeon will say:
"Calamari me, dear,
And we'll swim from here
To our honeymoon in Manta Ray.
--- Ericka
Long ago, when I was young and dim.
It was dirty and smelly,
No radio or telly,
The experience was totally grim.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
It was a hundred and six in the shade;
I got burned from the sun;
Gee, isn't this fun!
And I got seasick, I'm afraid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I found there was no place to pee --
He hung over the side,
But the first time I tried,
I wound up in the deep blue sea!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I go shopping, or a movie I see;
I swore long ago
Never again would I go.
Now hubby goes fishing sans me!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He'd beaten his wife, 'twas attested.
The time of commission
Was after a fishin'
Trip, when his wife was molested.
--- Anon
When he came home and opened his creel.
He'd not got a brag in
When she started nagging,
So he slaps her around with an eel.
--- Anon
And with you I'll solemnly deal.
You've stepped out of line,
And you'll get a big fine,
For cruelty to a live eel."
--- Anon
Are caught in Chris' story prime.
Oft told at the lake
Or other clambake,
With cigars and old scotch sublime.
--- Daniel Ford
Concannon and I up and flew
To Denver we'd flip,
On a business trip,
Then throw in a fish line or two.
--- Chris Papa
Me, to special trout filled small lake,
High up in the air,
With scenery rare,
Said we'd catch some trout in a shake.
--- Chris Papa
At home, nice Memorial Day,
At Lake, not so nice,
Three feet snow, and ice,
We hiked in to where we would stay.
--- Chris Papa
The lake campsite beckoned my dreams,
Of sleeping bag nice,
Relief from the ice,
Snug in a tent's canvas beams.
--- Chris Papa
This most vital piece we did lack,
There stuck with the fact,
Some thief did extract,
From our meager camp baggage stack.
--- Chris Papa
It wasnt' an idea so bold,
We'd stay there the night,
In hopes that we might,
Enjoy the next day's bright hold.
--- Chris Papa
Was summerweight, who would have thought
That there would be ice,
Memorial day, nice,
So through the night, freezing I fought.
--- Chris Papa
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