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Said Koslowski, "I got here today; McClellan briefs press rapid fire; For NASA you should put into place If the NEA's good or it ain't, (National Education of the Arts)
Losing Karen Hughes made Dubya sick; OSHA would be in an upheaval "FIN" will be written on them one day, Said Bush, "I support civil rights; Open Press Conference One with a hush (Rush Limbaugh - conservative talk show host)
Dubya's press secretary just quit, President-elect Bush, if you please, In this metaphor I take delight; Still to some, the god king emperor When the water's choppy and wavy So the grand jury's now had its say, There once was a man called DeLay Home Security Chief, Tom Ridge, The money was scattered through land, Supposed to help us from all harm, A name which will make Democrats wail For Treasury, name one of the greats, Here's the Bush White House staff really quick: John Ashcroft, quite grand and quite gracious, Attention all teen-age white males: But this principle seems quite Swiss-cheesy; (Ashcroft fighting Oregon assisted suicide)
A recycled joke, I'll admit, The Federalist mantra of state's rights In the halls of the Justice Department, You can give John Ashcroft his due The Bushies were under attack They say Merle encouraged his fans A memo that's so law-abiding, Each day a veep they call Dick Think Republican men just like Bush? Said a vice president named Cheney, Mr Bush says the weather is rainy; Dick Chancy, now sports a new stent Dubya said, Iraq scene I don't like. They say that Dick Cheney's the guy Said Dick, let the GAO sue; "Mr Edwards," snapped Dick, "you're a peeve, Mr Cheney, the ex CEO, With the energy case on the docket, Meanwhile back at the ranch, In the picture, he's heroic and brainy, Big Dick Cheney is in for a treat The VP is a Cheney called Dick; The venue could not have been worse "I'm not even running, you see." What a tangled web they wove People tend to worry a lot Said Dubya of Dick Cheney, "He can "I'm in trouble now," Dick Cheney said, I hate here to take a shot, cheap. How strange are the names in this cast? Now Bush Two is Prez, so they say, His quail hunting partner, too near, Now Cheney admits he's the shooter, When Veep's errant shot, his head struck, When asked by his friend, "How could you Not much since the time of A. Burr I wonder if bush would loose face Now that I've Cheney much knocked, Quail hunters wear orange attire, But this didn't work. Cheney's ammo And speaking of fire, poor McClellan
About seven years I must stay.
But the time will pass faster
When they bring in the master;
I look forward to bridge with Ken Lay."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
He says that Bush ratings are higher.
He hastens to tell
That the war's going well;
It's too bad Bush made him a liar.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Someone good who will head up the race.
If you give me a choice
I'd say in a loud voice -
Jerry Brown's always been out in space.
--- Anon
If you love it or have a complaint,
Pick Tammy Fay Bakker -
A Mover and shaker -
No one's face uses more artists' paint.
--- Anon
A new confidante he will pick.
If his Condoleezza left
He would not be bereft,
But he can't get along without his Dick
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
With a pick that some would call evil.
We could sure have some fun
If OSHA were run
By daredevil Evel Knievel.
--- Anon
Since that's always been history's way.
Dubya and his cabal
Will survive when they fall,
Having left us with all Hell to pay.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0307
Just look! I have Powell and Rice --
Their counsel I trust
'Cept when Dad says I must
Ignore them, just like I do whites.
--- Dr Limerick
And get all the right-wingers to gush
With great joy and with glee,
For the whole world to see,
When it's presided over by Rush.
--- Anon
And no one can blame him one bit.
He's tired of Dubya's mess
And the national press,
All telling him he's full of shit.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
We have some names for your nominees.
If you pick the right ones,
And you stick to your guns,
Through Senate confirmations they'll breeze.
--- Anon
I admit though it's not quite polite.
But when stone cold C. Rice
Goes by Shrub in a trice,
They're just two shits which pass in the night.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607
Shrub, at best, is an aberrant whore.
He can shake up his "spinners"
And pray that these winners
Can serve up some new bullshit du jour.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0606
And the fog is as thick as gravy,
Navy men should drink grog --
As did Teddy in fog --
Now name him Secretary, Navy.
--- Anon
And they think we should put him away
For a whole bunch of years.
So let's lift up our beers,
And pledge, "Justice for Tom! No DeLay!"
--- Q
Who found, to his shock and dismay,
His aide was indicted;
The Dems were delighted;
The Republicans said, "Go Away!".
--- Anon
Resorted to bald SORTILEGE,
Devising his budget,
He mainly would fudge it;
Accepting the funds as a loan bridge.
--- Chris Papa
Defying supply and demand.
It bought new cop cars,
A box of cigars,
But hardly spent, I understand.
--- Chris Papa
Creating a defensive arm,
This sweet boondoggle
Makes my mind boggle,
And set me a state of alarm.
--- Chris Papa
Is a name they would dare not assail.
Even Ms. Hillary
Would not dare pillory
Transportation nominee Billy Dale.
--- Anon
One that Bill Clinton's team really hates,
For an income shortfall
He can cover it all --
Appoint Microsoft founder Bill Gates.
--- Anon
Dubya's Donald makes the Pentagon sick.
He keeps his Condoleeza
'Cause it is fun to squeeze her,
But his policies come from his Dick. (Cheney)
--- Arnie Schoenbrum P0411
After Leahy's persistence tenacious (Senate Judiciary Comm)
Will deign to appear,
But hold back the cheer --
He'll do nothing but be more evasious.
--- Dr Limerick 11-25-01
Go directly to John Ashcroft's jails.
You match the profile
So you'll stay awhile
As our guest, in a cell, without bail.
--- Dr Limerick 05-10-02
John Ashcroft is finding it easy
To let principles slide
Whenever he decides
That with sovereign state he's displeased.
--- Dr Limerick 11-06-01
But still I'm compelled to submit
Why, when they did find
A portion benign
On Ashcroft, did they remove it?
--- Dr Limerick 01-30-02
Says the sovereign states have a birthright
To define law and order
Within their own border,
Free from all forms of Federal Oversight.
--- Dr Limerick 11-06-01
They demand rectitude and comportment.
So the statue that posed
With one breast exposed,
Was wrapped 'til she shows some deportment.
--- Dr Limerick 01-27-02
For defending the Red, White and Blue.
But give him more power?
That's sure to turn sour;
He'll be taking some liberties too!
--- Limerick Savant
So Ashcroft reached into his pack;
The tapes that I've found
Will distract the hounds,
Which is why I've been holding them back.
--- Dr Limerick 01-17-02
To give the A.G. "a big hand
Right in the mouth...
And then bail me out."
Unless as a combatant, he's banned.
--- Dr Limerick 08-26-02
John Ashcroft must keep it in hiding.
Claims torture, though awful,
Is perfectly lawful,
If ordered by one who's presiding!
--- Anon
Has a ticker that fails in its tick.
So they fill him with gas
Through a hole in his ass,
And revive with a flick of a bic.
--- Keith Gilman P0107
This is file ccm
It was Dick that they wanted to push. (Cheney)
Their staffs became swollen,
When they inserted Colin,
And the Cabinet's filled with a whoosh.
--- Anon
My kilowatt hours are too many!
Life should be gravy;
So let's bill the Navy;
Conserving would be much too zany.
--- Kristen and Steve
A conclusion that's patently crazy.
The sky is bright blue;
The sun shining too.
Says Bush,"It's still raining, ask Cheney."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
To repair the small place that was rent.
He is now having sex
As the doctor directs,
But rather than coming he went.
--- Tom Patton P0109
What will happen out there down the pike?
Mr Cheney said he,
Just leave it to me
And you can just go ride your bike.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
Who has to give answere for why
Old Dubya, so dim,
Is employing him.
"I'm not smart but at least I try!"
--- Tony Burrell
I'll do what a Veep's gotta do --
Whether we're taking orders
From Enron's headquarters,
Is not grist for a public review.
--- Dr Limerick 01-28-02
Whom I never did meet till this eve!"
"Mr Cheney," laughed John,
"Have your marbles all gone?
We have met thrice before, I believe!"
--- Anon
Did things he won't want us to know.
His actions at Halliburtin
Left stockholders hurtin',
As he walked away with the dough.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
To Cheney, the Dems want to sock it.
But they haven't a chance
Their cause to advance,
Cause Scalia's in Cheney's back pocket.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
Dubya has been in a trance.
He saw Colin Powell
But mostly he's AWOL,
As Dick's the executive branch.
--- Election 2000
As he talks on the phone to Dick Cheney.
But as we all know,
The decisions flow
From Drill Seargeant Dick to his trainee!
--- Dr Limerick 05-14-02
Since the surgeons completed their feat;
With his new I U D
They implanted for free,
He'll have safe sex and not miss a beat.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0108
He loved oil so bad he got sick.
He had a heart stent,
And an area to vent,
So he found a weak enemy to kick.
--- Anon
Where Dick UTTERED the famous F-curse
His feelings must be hurtin'
When he's prodded 'bout Halliburton
So dear to his heart and his purse.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
Says Dick as he chortles with glee.
"I'll soon step aside
To give Condi the ride
To the White House in '08, you'll see!"
--- Anon
When Cheney hired Mr. Rove
To cynically exploit
The mentally unadroit,
And say that King Bush has clothes.
--- Anon
About what deviants might plot.
But they should clear their head
And worry instead
If Cheney, he has more buckshot.
--- Judy Nawrocki
Be the president, so he's my man.
Said John Kerry, "Agree,
And not only can be,
But he has since the day Bush began."
--- Anon
"For not shooting that lawyer till dead;
But people, I'm sure,
Would vote for me more,
If I'd shot Michael Jackson instead."
--- David Miller
I may have been too long asleep.
Heard something 'bout quail
In the bush and the tale
Said someone was shooting, the Veep?
--- Gary Hallock
Which sounds like a blast from the past.
When Quayle rode shotgun
As Veep for Bush one,
And by a potatoe was mashed.
--- Gary Hallock
And Cheney's his Veep...okay.
From bush, quail he flushed,
But Veep, somewhat rushed,
Allowed his attention to stray.
--- Gary Hallock
Took hits in the cheek, neck and ear.
Though some with cry "Foul!"
He learned from his pal
That sometimes the buckshot stops here.
--- Gary Hallock
But really, I thought he'd be shrewder.
Why would he take aim
At pal, Harry, to maim,
When he had a clear shot at Scooter.
--- Gary Hallock
Pal Harry said, "That's some bad luck."
Dick won't go to jail,
Because hunting quail,
You are not required to yell, "Duck!"
--- Gary Hallock
Shoot me? I am one of your crew."
Dick flushed, a bit pale,
"I know you're not quail.
Perhaps I was spooked by bird flew."
--- Gary Hallock
Do Veep involved shootings occur.
We've had just a few
Such as S. Agnew,
Who shot off his mouth, as it were.
--- Gary Hallock
If he'd Mr Cheney replace.
If this gets much thicker,
It could flip his ticker.
How then could he keep up the pace?
--- Gary Hallock
I'm sure I'll soon be awed and shocked,
When Bush wire taps
My phone and perhaps,
His Veep again goes off half-cocked.
--- Gary Hallock
A look that our Longhorns admire,
And donning those clothes,
Leads them to suppose,
They will not draw unfriendly fire.
--- Gary Hallock
Went right through his vest with a "blammo!"
That light body armor
Will not prevent harm or
Obscure the facts like a good camo.
--- Gary Hallock
Drew heat at the White House; no tellin'
Where all this may lead.
Press can't get a read
On whether to buy what he's sellin'.
--- Gary Hallock
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