Horticulturist Herman O. Queek,
Raises plants that are truly unique.
At his novel creation
People jump with elation,
Upon hearing his Bumbling Bush speak.
--- Al Chaplin P0109

To all of you C students out there,
Our President at Yale did declare:
Hard work makes no sense;
Be lazy or dense --
But do pick your parents with care!
--- Lynn Mostafa

Today I saw Bush stand with Blair,
They both looked familiar, I swear!
With faces of fear,
They looked like two deer
When caught in the headlight's bright glare!
--- Anon

That's just the impression I find;
They seem to be two of a kind.
Two brains, finely wrought,
Never troubled by thought;
They'd disagree, if they'd a mind.
--- Tiddy Ogg

George Bush, a President slight,
Has an IQ that possibly might
Reach double figures
With cranial vigors,
And a large intellectual fight!
--- Will Lobban

Bush's plan for the poor was bizarre -
He agreed there was trouble out thar.
He said "Prices are dropping;
It's time to go shopping.
They can purchase a house or a car."
--- Albin Chaplin

There once was a Washington man,
Whose limericks never would scan;
When they asked him "Why?"
He said, "Because I
Am dumb as a barrel of bran."
--- David Martin

In today's Wall Street Journal, the news is
That Dubya is dumb when he chooses.
On executive options,
He pushed the adoption
Of a rule to encourage abuses.
--- Dr Limerick

George Dubya does sure seem a twit;
He's certainly lacking in wit.
But just like you trolls,
He's got two assholes,
Because he's so full of shit.
--- Tony Burrell

Once Dubya was out riding his bike,
When ahead loomed a lone cactus spike.
He said, grabbing his gun,
"Gonna shoot ya for fun!"
Hiss (a puncture) -- botanical strike!
--- Anon

Dubya may be dumb, but he's right;
We're in for a heckuva fight.
The Muslims and us --
If you don't see it thus,
You also are not very bright.
--- John Miller

Now Dubya, Yanks' number one man,
Won't bomb North Korea or Iran.
He's witnessed the scenes
Down in New Orleans;
He'll now invade Katrinastan.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Slick Willy will always been seen
As the prez who liked acts too obscene.
While Dubya's big ass
Was licked by that lass,
With the dubious name of Katrin.
--- Dirruk

Distinguished professors of law
Could hardly believe what they saw!
They squirmed as Bush lectured
And angrily hectored,
And moved lots of air with his jaw.
--- Dr Limerick 05-03-02

He repeated the old worn-out screed
That Democrats better concede.
If you're president,
Advise and consent
Are just words of which you don't heed.
--- Dr Limerick 05-03-02

The chimp is a one-of-a-kind
For insight into Dubya's mind.
This blog's all you need
For a mighty fine read,
Leaving all the great jokes far behind.
--- Dirruk

Words have gotten him in hot water,
With labor and arsenic slaughter.
Though he's a real twit,
You've got to admit,
He raised two "like father, like daughter."
--- Cyber Wizard

What Dubya's come up with's not new,
Since his thoughts number less than a few.
So he postures and prates,
Charging his thieving mates,
"Do as I say and not as I do."
--- L C Fitz P0209

Our candidate Shrub, son of boosh,
Just can't tell his head from his toosh.
His farts, like his thinking,
Produce a great stinking,
And his empty head echoes the whoosh.
--- MrMalo

Perhaps his ideas are subliminabubble;
I must say his style is inimitabubble;
For no one can flub
So much wording as Shrub;
His stupidity must be unlimitabubble.
--- MrMalo

MRIs of his head are quite rare,
And Bethesda, near D.C. is where
Dubya had his brain scanned
With their imagery grand.
The Rx arrived at? "Nothing there."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0306

Facile allusions to Oedipus
Or the citation of Daedalus
May escape notice
Of the current POTUS,
But he's still there in the edifice.
--- Daniel Ford

That Texas man from the White House,
He said, "I ain't lacking in nous!"
His dad said, "Now sonny,
You may have much money,
But you sure ain't got nothing else."
--- Tony Burrell

'Tween you and me, trite patter is PHATIC,
But to hear Prez sputter sporadic,
With "dead or alive"
And other Tex jive,
Seems he's set on "idiomatic."
--- Phil Kinay

Headline, Chicago Sun-Times:
Bush gives China a piece of his mind.
At this rapid rate
He'll reach vegetable state,
In time for the Fourth of July.
--- Dr Limerick

When asked by reporters arrayed,
What he thought about Roe vs. Wade,
Bush said, "That decision
By a man with a vision,
Was the smarted George Washington made."
--- Hugh Clary

Dubya in crises just hems and haws
As his face reflects most confused awes.
He appears as though dazed,
Phased, astonished, amazed,
Glassy-eyed, opened mouthed with slack jaws.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0512Q

Give George W Bush the 'bums rush;'
He's monied on Texas oil-gush.
At Yale he got by
With barely a try,
Endowed with grey neuronal mush.
--- Chris Papa

I worry for George Bush's sanity;
For his mighty and scary inanity.
For this bloke sticks his nose
Into war, not a rose.
So much for our bleeding humanity.
--- Jo McGahey

Geography's not a sensation
For one with a Yale education.
That's President Bush
With his war-on-AIDS push,
Helping Africa 'cause it's a nation!
--- Peter Wilkins P0607

The ratings are down for this clown
And some more Republicans of renown.
He should sit in a corner
With Little Jack Horner,
Festooned with the Dunce-pointy Crown.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Except for one point, I'll agree;
He's thicker than pigshit, you see.
But oil galore
Comes from old Dubai's shore,
So he's right to accept ports DP.
--- mdt1

But the Dems are not racist, oh my!
No profiling comes from their eye.
Though they hang out the sign,
It is really benign
That says "No A-rabs need apply."
--- Joe Long

This is file cam

When George Bush to Dick Cheney declared
"Can my thoughts on the press now be shared?"
Dick replied, "If you like,
Though let's turn off the mike."
But too late; George's thoughts had been aired.
--- Prof M-G

When Bush starts to speak, millions tremble.
His speech won't good grammar resemble.
With his grasp of facts
And rolled back syntax,
The language he'll quickly disassemble.
--- Gary Hallock

I said "Few could chew gum and walk,"
But not that George Dubya could talk.
When put to the test,
He's doing his best,
To sound both like dove and like hawk.
--- Marlene Lewis

The new prez elect sure was humble,
And spoke every word without stumble.
He must have been sober;
He didn't trip over
His own two feet and take a tumble.
--- Anon

When he speaks some take him for a fool;
Many others do not, as a rule.
Though he doesn't stammer
It's plain from his yammer
That he went to a Grammar-less School.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0212

Bush was born, as Ann Richards announced,
With a silver foot in his mouth.
She spoke of the dad,
But the son, just as bad,
Put his silver head further south.
--- Dr Limerick 01-11-02

Have you heard why George Bush has plans made
To support more Liberian aid?
'Cause libery spaces
Can't have books on their cases,
If liberians cannot be paid.
--- Prof M-G

MALAPROP of verbal wrecks is,
And though liberal press it just vexes,
When Dubya's tongue strays
In peculiar ways,
They just love him the more down in Texas.
--- Chris Papa

It seems that Bush won't soon be stopping
His habit of crude malapropping.
When we think we've heard
His words most absurd,
We harvest another outcropping.
--- Gary Hallock

A fellow Texan's not implying
That Dubya would ever be trying
For some obfuscation --
A wierd cover-up for lying?
--- Daniel Ford

Says George Bush, "I'm an ethical guy;
I insist my campaign doesn't lie,
Or try spoiling Al's stats
With subliminal 'Rats!'
I hereby deny that 'twas I."
--- Prof M-G

Dubya's speeches are annoying as Hell
When he seeks to weave us in a spell.
With long pregnant passes,
Spewing nothing but gases,
Nine months later, that's nothing to tell.
--- mdt1

Public speaking with fuzzy techniques:
Sounds like daze, but perhaps it means weeks.
Sounds like ant, but it's niece.
Sounds like wore, but it's peace.
It's the way that the president speaks.
--- Peter Wilkins

Young George W Bush can recall
Bon mots, as he spins his tales tall.
With most out of reach,
That nightmare, his speech,
"He dreamt he dwelt in GARBLED halls."
--- Chris Papa

I hope not too long I'll detain ya.
But pacifists, this here may pain ya.
This latest attack
Has set Dubya back...
He's gonna invade Pretzylvania.
--- Anon

That phrase came from Bush, I hear tell;
Dunno though, it's ringing a bell.
It's pure plagiarism,
'Twas said about jizm,
By some tart called Monica L.
--- Anon

The TV stations were happy to show
Dubya calling that reporter 'asshole.'
I have to laugh
At this politician's gaffe,
Because a spade is a spade, don'cha know?
--- Jon Steckelberg

On Monday, the Dems had a prequel.
After Bush spoke, they then had a sequel.
But, as we've come to know,
And as they always show,
They fall short of being his equal.
--- Al Bienstock

Bush began, and it didn't take long
Before he said "Our union is strong."
To Tom Daschle, our state
Has been anxious of late.
George Bush is right and Daschle is wrong.
--- Al Bienstock

"We delivered," said Bush with elation,
"The largest tax relief for this nation",
Not just in recent years,
But -- let's give him three cheers --
In the life span of a generation.
--- Al Bienstock

It's not a difficult thing to trace;
The economy grows in each place
Where each person may spend
For his own preferred end.
Don't tax it away in the first place.
--- Al Bienstock

And, despite the Democrat spinning,
The Al Qaeda ranks we are thinning.
Some are in jail, some dead
And we're forging ahead.
The war goes on and we are winning.
--- Al Bienstock

In this war, if we had our druthers,
Our old allies would be our brothers.
Yet the course of the nation
Does not depend (ovation!)
On the wimpy decisions of others.
--- Al Bienstock

The UN inspectors were not sent
To conduct a scavenger hunt event.
Their job's to verify
Disarming -- not why;
On preventing inspections they're bent.
--- Al Bienstock

To the Armed Forces, we know it's true:
You believe in America, you do.
It is so evident
That it's heartfelt and meant --
And America believes in you.
--- Al Bienstock

The media's made the decision
To keep treating Bush with derision.
Maybe some day they'll see
That it's their fallacy --
He's a man with insight and vision.
--- Al Bienstock

The Dem response, by Governor Locke,
Is incredibly easy to mock.
Written before Bush spoke,
Its content was a joke --
It ignored what Bush said. What a crock!
--- Al Bienstock

His pronunciation is criminable,
With a grasp of the language that's minimable.
Three times, on the news
George W spews
An adjective unknown - 'subliminable'.
--- Anon

'Twas only satirical SQUIB,
How English was learned in the crib,
By our President,
Who then to Yale went,
But speaks like he's chewing a rib.
--- Chris Papa

I guess I'm like George Bush, I fear,
Fit for bureaucratic career.
With nary a doubt,
The words just slip out,
Before my brain clicks into gear!
--- Chris Papa

If you are watching a State of Dys-union,
You've got to have skin like an Onion.
But it makes you want to cry
When his turds hit your eye,
And your asshole turns into a Bunion.
--- Anon

One of these days a big quake
Will make California shake.
But pressing a claim,
Al Qaeda's to blame,
Even Bush will be hard-pressed to fake.
--- John Miller

To spin means to shine the best light
On an unpleasant fact or insight;
But Ari relies
On out-and-out lies,
Non-answers and personal slights.

(Ari Fleischer - Dubya's flack)
--- Dr Limerick