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Horticulturist Herman O. Queek, To all of you C students out there, Today I saw Bush stand with Blair, That's just the impression I find; George Bush, a President slight, Bush's plan for the poor was bizarre - There once was a Washington man, In today's Wall Street Journal, the news is George Dubya does sure seem a twit; Once Dubya was out riding his bike, Dubya may be dumb, but he's right; Now Dubya, Yanks' number one man, Slick Willy will always been seen Distinguished professors of law He repeated the old worn-out screed The chimp is a one-of-a-kind Words have gotten him in hot water, What Dubya's come up with's not new, Our candidate Shrub, son of boosh, Perhaps his ideas are subliminabubble; MRIs of his head are quite rare, Facile allusions to Oedipus That Texas man from the White House, 'Tween you and me, trite patter is PHATIC, Headline, Chicago Sun-Times: When asked by reporters arrayed, Dubya in crises just hems and haws Give George W Bush the 'bums rush;' I worry for George Bush's sanity; Geography's not a sensation The ratings are down for this clown Except for one point, I'll agree; But the Dems are not racist, oh my! When George Bush to Dick Cheney declared When Bush starts to speak, millions tremble. I said "Few could chew gum and walk," The new prez elect sure was humble, When he speaks some take him for a fool; Bush was born, as Ann Richards announced, Have you heard why George Bush has plans made MALAPROP of verbal wrecks is, It seems that Bush won't soon be stopping A fellow Texan's not implying Says George Bush, "I'm an ethical guy; Dubya's speeches are annoying as Hell Public speaking with fuzzy techniques: Young George W Bush can recall I hope not too long I'll detain ya. That phrase came from Bush, I hear tell; The TV stations were happy to show On Monday, the Dems had a prequel. Bush began, and it didn't take long "We delivered," said Bush with elation, It's not a difficult thing to trace; And, despite the Democrat spinning, In this war, if we had our druthers, The UN inspectors were not sent To the Armed Forces, we know it's true: The media's made the decision The Dem response, by Governor Locke, His pronunciation is criminable, 'Twas only satirical SQUIB, I guess I'm like George Bush, I fear, If you are watching a State of Dys-union, One of these days a big quake To spin means to shine the best light (Ari Fleischer - Dubya's flack)
Raises plants that are truly unique.
At his novel creation
People jump with elation,
Upon hearing his Bumbling Bush speak.
--- Al Chaplin P0109
Our President at Yale did declare:
Hard work makes no sense;
Be lazy or dense --
But do pick your parents with care!
--- Lynn Mostafa
They both looked familiar, I swear!
With faces of fear,
They looked like two deer
When caught in the headlight's bright glare!
--- Anon
They seem to be two of a kind.
Two brains, finely wrought,
Never troubled by thought;
They'd disagree, if they'd a mind.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has an IQ that possibly might
Reach double figures
With cranial vigors,
And a large intellectual fight!
--- Will Lobban
He agreed there was trouble out thar.
He said "Prices are dropping;
It's time to go shopping.
They can purchase a house or a car."
--- Albin Chaplin
Whose limericks never would scan;
When they asked him "Why?"
He said, "Because I
Am dumb as a barrel of bran."
--- David Martin
That Dubya is dumb when he chooses.
On executive options,
He pushed the adoption
Of a rule to encourage abuses.
--- Dr Limerick
He's certainly lacking in wit.
But just like you trolls,
He's got two assholes,
Because he's so full of shit.
--- Tony Burrell
When ahead loomed a lone cactus spike.
He said, grabbing his gun,
"Gonna shoot ya for fun!"
Hiss (a puncture) -- botanical strike!
--- Anon
We're in for a heckuva fight.
The Muslims and us --
If you don't see it thus,
You also are not very bright.
--- John Miller
Won't bomb North Korea or Iran.
He's witnessed the scenes
Down in New Orleans;
He'll now invade Katrinastan.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As the prez who liked acts too obscene.
While Dubya's big ass
Was licked by that lass,
With the dubious name of Katrin.
--- Dirruk
Could hardly believe what they saw!
They squirmed as Bush lectured
And angrily hectored,
And moved lots of air with his jaw.
--- Dr Limerick 05-03-02
That Democrats better concede.
If you're president,
Advise and consent
Are just words of which you don't heed.
--- Dr Limerick 05-03-02
For insight into Dubya's mind.
This blog's all you need
For a mighty fine read,
Leaving all the great jokes far behind.
--- Dirruk
With labor and arsenic slaughter.
Though he's a real twit,
You've got to admit,
He raised two "like father, like daughter."
--- Cyber Wizard
Since his thoughts number less than a few.
So he postures and prates,
Charging his thieving mates,
"Do as I say and not as I do."
--- L C Fitz P0209
Just can't tell his head from his toosh.
His farts, like his thinking,
Produce a great stinking,
And his empty head echoes the whoosh.
--- MrMalo
I must say his style is inimitabubble;
For no one can flub
So much wording as Shrub;
His stupidity must be unlimitabubble.
--- MrMalo
And Bethesda, near D.C. is where
Dubya had his brain scanned
With their imagery grand.
The Rx arrived at? "Nothing there."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0306
Or the citation of Daedalus
May escape notice
Of the current POTUS,
But he's still there in the edifice.
--- Daniel Ford
He said, "I ain't lacking in nous!"
His dad said, "Now sonny,
You may have much money,
But you sure ain't got nothing else."
--- Tony Burrell
But to hear Prez sputter sporadic,
With "dead or alive"
And other Tex jive,
Seems he's set on "idiomatic."
--- Phil Kinay
Bush gives China a piece of his mind.
At this rapid rate
He'll reach vegetable state,
In time for the Fourth of July.
--- Dr Limerick
What he thought about Roe vs. Wade,
Bush said, "That decision
By a man with a vision,
Was the smarted George Washington made."
--- Hugh Clary
As his face reflects most confused awes.
He appears as though dazed,
Phased, astonished, amazed,
Glassy-eyed, opened mouthed with slack jaws.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0512Q
He's monied on Texas oil-gush.
At Yale he got by
With barely a try,
Endowed with grey neuronal mush.
--- Chris Papa
For his mighty and scary inanity.
For this bloke sticks his nose
Into war, not a rose.
So much for our bleeding humanity.
--- Jo McGahey
For one with a Yale education.
That's President Bush
With his war-on-AIDS push,
Helping Africa 'cause it's a nation!
--- Peter Wilkins P0607
And some more Republicans of renown.
He should sit in a corner
With Little Jack Horner,
Festooned with the Dunce-pointy Crown.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He's thicker than pigshit, you see.
But oil galore
Comes from old Dubai's shore,
So he's right to accept ports DP.
--- mdt1
No profiling comes from their eye.
Though they hang out the sign,
It is really benign
That says "No A-rabs need apply."
--- Joe Long
This is file cam
"Can my thoughts on the press now be shared?"
Dick replied, "If you like,
Though let's turn off the mike."
But too late; George's thoughts had been aired.
--- Prof M-G
His speech won't good grammar resemble.
With his grasp of facts
And rolled back syntax,
The language he'll quickly disassemble.
--- Gary Hallock
But not that George Dubya could talk.
When put to the test,
He's doing his best,
To sound both like dove and like hawk.
--- Marlene Lewis
And spoke every word without stumble.
He must have been sober;
He didn't trip over
His own two feet and take a tumble.
--- Anon
Many others do not, as a rule.
Though he doesn't stammer
It's plain from his yammer
That he went to a Grammar-less School.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0212
With a silver foot in his mouth.
She spoke of the dad,
But the son, just as bad,
Put his silver head further south.
--- Dr Limerick 01-11-02
To support more Liberian aid?
'Cause libery spaces
Can't have books on their cases,
If liberians cannot be paid.
--- Prof M-G
And though liberal press it just vexes,
When Dubya's tongue strays
In peculiar ways,
They just love him the more down in Texas.
--- Chris Papa
His habit of crude malapropping.
When we think we've heard
His words most absurd,
We harvest another outcropping.
--- Gary Hallock
That Dubya would ever be trying
Mispronunciation
For some obfuscation --
A wierd cover-up for lying?
--- Daniel Ford
I insist my campaign doesn't lie,
Or try spoiling Al's stats
With subliminal 'Rats!'
I hereby deny that 'twas I."
--- Prof M-G
When he seeks to weave us in a spell.
With long pregnant passes,
Spewing nothing but gases,
Nine months later, that's nothing to tell.
--- mdt1
Sounds like daze, but perhaps it means weeks.
Sounds like ant, but it's niece.
Sounds like wore, but it's peace.
It's the way that the president speaks.
--- Peter Wilkins
Bon mots, as he spins his tales tall.
With most out of reach,
That nightmare, his speech,
"He dreamt he dwelt in GARBLED halls."
--- Chris Papa
But pacifists, this here may pain ya.
This latest attack
Has set Dubya back...
He's gonna invade Pretzylvania.
--- Anon
Dunno though, it's ringing a bell.
It's pure plagiarism,
'Twas said about jizm,
By some tart called Monica L.
--- Anon
Dubya calling that reporter 'asshole.'
I have to laugh
At this politician's gaffe,
Because a spade is a spade, don'cha know?
--- Jon Steckelberg
After Bush spoke, they then had a sequel.
But, as we've come to know,
And as they always show,
They fall short of being his equal.
--- Al Bienstock
Before he said "Our union is strong."
To Tom Daschle, our state
Has been anxious of late.
George Bush is right and Daschle is wrong.
--- Al Bienstock
"The largest tax relief for this nation",
Not just in recent years,
But -- let's give him three cheers --
In the life span of a generation.
--- Al Bienstock
The economy grows in each place
Where each person may spend
For his own preferred end.
Don't tax it away in the first place.
--- Al Bienstock
The Al Qaeda ranks we are thinning.
Some are in jail, some dead
And we're forging ahead.
The war goes on and we are winning.
--- Al Bienstock
Our old allies would be our brothers.
Yet the course of the nation
Does not depend (ovation!)
On the wimpy decisions of others.
--- Al Bienstock
To conduct a scavenger hunt event.
Their job's to verify
Disarming -- not why;
On preventing inspections they're bent.
--- Al Bienstock
You believe in America, you do.
It is so evident
That it's heartfelt and meant --
And America believes in you.
--- Al Bienstock
To keep treating Bush with derision.
Maybe some day they'll see
That it's their fallacy --
He's a man with insight and vision.
--- Al Bienstock
Is incredibly easy to mock.
Written before Bush spoke,
Its content was a joke --
It ignored what Bush said. What a crock!
--- Al Bienstock
With a grasp of the language that's minimable.
Three times, on the news
George W spews
An adjective unknown - 'subliminable'.
--- Anon
How English was learned in the crib,
By our President,
Who then to Yale went,
But speaks like he's chewing a rib.
--- Chris Papa
Fit for bureaucratic career.
With nary a doubt,
The words just slip out,
Before my brain clicks into gear!
--- Chris Papa
You've got to have skin like an Onion.
But it makes you want to cry
When his turds hit your eye,
And your asshole turns into a Bunion.
--- Anon
Will make California shake.
But pressing a claim,
Al Qaeda's to blame,
Even Bush will be hard-pressed to fake.
--- John Miller
On an unpleasant fact or insight;
But Ari relies
On out-and-out lies,
Non-answers and personal slights.
--- Dr Limerick
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