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I once met this little green man;
"From Mars," he said smiling, "You can
Press my left ventricle,
Tickle my tentacle,
Or you can just shake my hand."
--- Sumaq

A man from the north side of Venus
Had a five mile long, four inch wide penis.
He could wiggle and slide from side to side,
With such nerve, such verve, such tantalizing curve,
You scarcely noted its leaness.
--- Maxine Spitzler P9404V

A Martian named Harrison Harris
Decided he'd like to see Paris;
In space (so we learn)
He forgot where to turn -
And that's why he's now on Polaris.
--- P8211

'Vita brevis, ars longa', is true,
As the better-read Lunatics knew.
They looked much as we,
But the light gravity
Made head bigger and ars longa too.
--- Brian Aldiss G2587

There once was a man in the moon,
But he got there a little too soon.
Some others came later
And fell down a crater.
When was it--Next August? Last June?
--- David McCord P9210

An upper-crust Martian said, "Yes,
We old families are snobs, I confess.
It really is vital
To get tits and title."
So he married a cute Martioness.
--- Brian Aldiss G2588

On Saturday night, up on Mars,
The Martians all mate with their cars.
After tailpipes are bent,
They just lay there all spent,
Pointing straight up at the stars!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On Saturn, the sexes are three,
A sad state of affairs, you'll agree.
For performing con brio,
You must have a trio,
And it even takes two for a pee.
--- Anon G2592

There was a young man from Campinas,
Who trained as an astronaut to Venus.
When he returned after years,
There weren't welcomes and cheers.
He's not human, he'd was a sub-genus!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

A Plutonian faggot called Zimp
Was not in the least bit a wimp.
Eighteen feet high,
And as long (or well nigh),
And none of his pincers were limp.
--- S Dale P8211

On Eros, despite its fair name,
The sexes are one and the same.
If amusing oneself,
By abusing oneself,
Leads to pregnancy, isn't life tame?
--- Anon

On Venus, in spite of the cloud,
There's a hell of a big native crowd.
For the best thing on Venus is
The double-jointed penises,
Of which they're exceedingly proud.
--- Neal Wilgus P8511

From the far flung planet of Pluto
Came some fruit a-sportin' a suit o'
Clothes to go swimmin'
With big breasted women --
But his strokes hardly got him a kudo!
--- Anon

There once was a feline from Saturn,
Who made out just fine, for a slattern.
She made so much dough,
Other cats begged to know,
"How much does that fine slattern cat earn?"
--- Anon

Are now, we starting to croon?
Don't want to sound like a buffoon,
But just to be right,
That cat was so tight,
She wound up on planet Neptune!
--- Anon

That kitten descended from Neptune,
(Up there they had called her Miss Schleptune)
She taught each man born
To toot his own horn --
So now they all play a more hep tune!
--- Anon

A horrid old creature of Titan
Is looking for people to frighten.
It gives some children pause,
But delight all their Ma's
By causing their laundry to whiten.
--- Rod Walker P8211

There once was a man from Mars,
Whose lady was fond of cigars.
Then this woman from Venus,
Caught sight of his penis,
And smoked 'til he sang with God's choirs.
--- Anon

I've been on a sojourn to Mars
That's left my old liver with scars.
My Johnson as well,
Is battered as hell,
From bopping Mars babes in Mars bars.
--- H Welchel

It looks like my ferret's been chewed
By hundreds of rats needing food.
Although clean and tight,
Mars pussy can bite.
It's nasty when stuffingly screwed.
--- H Welchel

It seems that Mars babes are equipped
With cervical hairs finely tipped --
Each with a small blade,
That forms a blockade
Against Earth-spoo injected or dripped.
--- H Welchel

And If you're endowed like a horse,
And fuck them with vigor and force,
You'll think they're in heat,
But it's just your meat
That was of Mars redness, the source.
--- H Welchel

A galactic patrolman from Venus,
Had a hyper-extensible penis.
Of all forms of life,
Which he'd taken to wife,
He preferred a mere woman, for meanness.

(L0358)
--- Tony Boucher G2565aV

An irate Venusian named Breen
Was feeling all snarly and mean
And calling me names
And exhaling flames,
And in other ways splenting his veen.
--- S Dale P8211

There was a young man from Venus,
Whose body was shaped like a penis.
Thirty inches thick,
'Twas a heavenly prick;
Truly a record for Guinness.
--- Anon V

Here from the tri-mammary genus,
With three eyes on stalks is Miss Venus;
And onto her big glands
Martian men put three hands,
And tri-angulate with their penis.
--- John Miller

On Uranus, to shout, "Up your anus!"
Is to get yourself rated insane, as
The arse is no hole
But a flexible pole
From which the piles grow like bananas.
--- Brian Aldiss G2593

The Venusians, out on a mission.
Found Earth is a puzzling condition.
They could understand part,
Of our laws and our art,
But got stuck in the fifteenth position.
--- Brian Aldiss G2586

Two travelers going sidereal,
The danger, they say, is bacterial.
I don't know the pattern
On Mars, or on Saturn,
But on Venus, it must be venereal.
--- Robert Frost

There was a young lady from Venus
Who rather liked having a Guinness:
As dark as hard rock
With foam at the top:
It reminded her of ... Her Seamus.
--- Anon

There once was a woman from Venus,
Who committed a crime so heinous,
That to hear people scoff,
She'd have been better off,
If she'd suddenly sprouted a penis.
--- Anon

The handsome young natives of Venus
Have a three-foot retractable penis.
The women of Earth
All contend for a berth
To the world of this curious genus.
--- G2649V

On Venus, I'm bound to relate,
The females refuse to fellate.
For the cocks of the guys
Have got spines, spikes and eyes,
Tasting strongly of smegma sulfate.
--- Brian Aldiss G2585

This is file byl

A gold and green skinned girl from Venus
Was frightened that someone had seen us.
Before, though, she spoke,
My "invisibility cloak",
I donned and put straight in between us.
--- Anon

There landed a creature from Venus,
Whose species was quite a strange genus.
It said to the crowds,
"We're covered in clouds --
And that's why nobody has seen us."
--- Tom Campbell

I think we've been spotted from Venus;
A goggle-eyed monster has seen us.
It's fierce and it's red,
With great horns on its head.
Three cheers for the distance between us.
--- Funfax Limericks V

"Are the tarts", they asked Astronaut Muller,
"On Uranus more lively...or duller?"
He replied, "They're obscene!
Since their pussies are green,
They are whores of a different color!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerA

The greatest unsolved mystery
Is "Why on earth on Earth we be?"
But we are not alone.
If Outer Space could phone,
They'd "Why on mars on Mars are we?"
--- Irving Superior P9102

A man who arrived here from Venus
Has a really remarkable penis.
It's not only tireless,
It also is wireless.
We have sex, but there's nothing between us.
--- Anon

A fellow from Alpha Centauri,
Sped earthwards a-seeking a whore, he
Found that Earth's gravity
Curtailed his depravity --
He'd not get it up, and said "Sorry."
--- Anon

The sadists of Alpha Centauri
Have a pleasure exceedingly gory;
It involves a time slip,
And a neuronic whip --
Not your typical Asimov story.
--- P Chernoff

An extra-terrestrial gastronome
Had traveled eight light-years from home.
He alit in Duluth
Where they thought him uncouth,
When he delicately dined on their chrome.
--- June Sullivan P8312

Light years flying saucers traverse;
Those green men seem rather perverse.
Why should they repeat
Their amazing feat;
Just us in the whole universe.
--- Tony Burrell

At evening they come, before dawn
They're gone and despite sceptics' scorn,
Over zillions of miles
To plague farmer Giles,
And make pretty patterns in corn.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A runner from far outer space
Came to earth to take part in a race;
Caused great consternation
When he used levitation
At his own, supersonic pace.
--- Maxine Spitzler P9405

If green folk from Gamma Velorum
Should visit, we plan to ignore 'em:
It's just not the year
For saucers, we fear;
And good SF writers abhor 'em.
--- Beverly Grant P8211

The mechanical natives of Cetus
Do not start out as a fetus.
But nuts and the screw
To them are not new,
So they must have some form of coitus.
--- G2579

A young man from Alpha Centauri
Said "Come, let me tell you my story.
Riding the tractor beam
Without asteroid cream,
Has surely tried my parts sorely."
--- Anon

I stare at the star-laden skies,
And ponder the wherefores and whys.
I think over there
Is a nova somewhere,
And a whole race of aliens dies.
--- Irish a

The epicene natives of Pollux
Engage in the strangest of frolics;
They get their sex kicks
Sucking martini sticks,
Which makes them, of course, alcoholics.
--- G2639

The natives of Sirius B
Excrete pure vitamin C.
In symbiotic
Relations exotic,
Terrestrials suck them with glee.
--- G2644

A maiden from Cygnus b5,
Ate some SPAM while still whole and alive.
"Oh dear," she exclaimed,
"I really feel maimed,
I don't thing I'm going to survive."
--- Mike O'Conner

I once was a slave interstellar
And my master -- a green fortune teller.
But he soon gave me freedom
When I chased him and treed him,
And threatened to bend his propeller.
--- Neal Wilgus P8211

If Vegans abhor all that's meat,
Reproduction is surely a feat.
They must do it alone in
The bedroom by clonin'
But some of them probably cheat.
--- Peter Wilkins

From a strange solar system called Plexus
Came an alien chap named Alexis.
He was sent here to find
What intrigued mankind
In "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas."
--- June Sullivan P8312

A mutant who stopped for a drink
Was amused by a sign that said THINK.
"You think you're so smart,
But for all your head start,
You'll soon be the new missing link.
--- Neal Wilgus P8303

A mere human who heard this remark
Sat and pondered awhile in the dark.
"Your day may be coming
But the tune that you're humming
Is so far no more than a lark."
--- Neal Wilgus P8303

Said the monkey who tended the bar,
"Say, who do you guys think you are?
Coexist here in peace
Or your drinking will cease,
And you'll gain a real cranial scar!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8303

It seems that I'm in a bad way
Since my Cap'n H went away.
I'm he who's been spaced
In the zone of the X'aist.
I'm afraid I may be here to stay.
--- Anon

The X'aist musn't know I'm around.
At least by them I ain't been found!
Did they know that I've spotted
them all when they're potted
what they would inflict would astound.
--- Anon

What's that lightly limned by the planet?
I've seen it before, now again. It
Seems some closer now.
I hope it's some chow!
It's be like the Cap'n to ban it.
--- Anon

A shuttle, Class 2, one man, armed
Up from the X'aist planet has swarmed!
It's heading straight toward
Me. pinging, oh, Lord!
I think now I should be alarmed!
--- Anon

Two ETs on Earth for vacation,
Touch down at a local gas station.
Out they both jump,
And approaching the pump,
They valiantly try conversation.
--- Lilsil2

(No surprise) no responses they get,
So the boss, ET One, makes a threat,
To blast the machines
To small smithereens.
No response. He then shoots (with regret).
--- Lilsil2

ET heaven's, where both reappear.
ET Two says "We shudda had fear.
Don't mess with a throng
Whose dicks are so long,
They carry them 'round in their ear."
--- Lilsil2

A warp-drive? I found one to borrow!
No more of this space-docking sorrow!
I've got extra seats,
So pack up your teats!
I'm headed to LorssWorld tomorrow!
--- Anon


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