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I've heard of a sex number four,
With more freaky habits in store
For spacemen like me
To marvel and see.
So hurry! I'm sealing the door!
--- Anon

There once was a Hiftlorss named Xit
Who had a strange thing for the pit.
(Not the cunt-charm,
The one under arm.)
This Xit was a pervert and twit.
--- Anon

Let's now introduce the Lorss Xint.
(The fourth sex of Hiftlorss, a gent.)
Although Xints are male,
They cannot impale
Unless they shore up with the splint.
--- Anon

Unlike the Troggs, with their smell,
The Xints only broadcast a knell.
They rise with the moons,
And fart like bassoons,
In chorus and rhythm, as well.
--- Anon

To Earthfolk they look quite a fright
A-spin under moons with strange light.
They dervishly dance
(Don't wear any pants)
With cocks flapping free in the night.
--- Anon

Their skin-glands emit a sweet tune
That wafts over desert and dune
And softly does stun
The sex two and one,
Who dream of their last honeymoon.
--- Anon

Now, mostly Xints do this alone
('Cause most Lorsses like a stiff bone).
But Xit was a peeker,
Not much of a feeker,
And fancied the pit of the drone.
--- Anon

He stalked the Xints into their lair,
And drooled at their fine armpit hair,
Which hung in soft locks.
Old Xits fifty cocks
Were swollen, and dripping, and bare.
--- Anon

Humbly, he spoke to the crowd,
And begged them to fart really loud,
While he just would flit
From pit to sweet pit,
And take a quick whiff, if allowed.
--- Anon

They looked at Xit, kind of like sheep,
And said softly, "Go back to sleep.
We know we're quite smashing,
But some hopes need dashing.
Our duty is only skin-beep."
--- Anon

Further, if flow they don't stem,
The outcome is quite often grim.
The rushing come-drain
Can implode the brain,
And leave it unconscious and slim.
--- Anon

An alien came down here from Venus.
Not a girl, but a guy (had a penis).
With three eyes in between,
Pointed ears that were green,
He was obviously not of our Genus.
--- Anon

He landed at old Johnson's farm.
An arrival that caused some alarm
To old Johnson's daughter,
Who thought if he caught her,
He might want to cause her some harm.
--- Anon

Now our alien wasn't too bright.
He forgot to bring something to light
The night and his way
Through the field filled with hay
Took a left instead of a right.
--- Anon

Now things didn't turn out like they aughter
He did not meet up with the daughter
Instead he found Bessie
And now things get messy.
He not only found her but caught her.
--- Anon

"My Dear you have beautiful eyes!"
"Big and brown like Venutian Creme Pies"
"I can't wait to show mother
Your soft silky utter."
(You're going to be such a surprise.)
--- Anon

From behind the clouds came the moon,
As the alien continued to spoon.
And old Johnson's girl
Let the curtains unfurl
To a scene that made her heart swoon.
--- Anon

The alien was wearing no frock
And Ms. Johnson was given a shock
She believed not her eyes
For there 'tween his thighs
Was an 18 inch glowing green cock.
--- Anon

And so to the steps she alighted.
There were things she just knew must be righted
Tell this guy with the cow
Just exactly how
With her he'd be truly delighted.
--- Anon

She ran through the field up to him.
Stuck her hand out and said "My name's Kim"
And you sir are hot
Look here what I got
For you. It's a seldom used quim.
--- Anon

"I'm sorry deary, but right now
I am currently courting this cow."
The alien said,
Then Kim nearly dropped dead
(Oh my god he just licked his eye brow)
--- Anon

Now Kim was determined as ever
To succeed in this lustful endeavor
And spend the whole night
In the blissful delight.
She was sure the alien would deliver.
--- Anon

She was sure he'd see Bess was a dud.
Just standing there chewing her cud.
It soon became plain
His lust she'd not gain.
Cause he started in pounding his pud.
--- Anon

But it was the last thing that she saw
That for Kim was the camel's last straw
The alien's tongue
Licked Bess's bung
And a smile split the alien's maw.
--- Anon

Oh Bessie my dear let's make haste
To Venus there's no time to waste
That taste oh..oh my!
Venutian creme pie!
And to the space ship the two raced.
--- Anon

Into the welkin they shot,
Leaving poor Kim really hot
For an eighteen inch dick,
And a tongue oh so quick,
So she laid down and played with her twat.
--- Anon

The moon that I surveyed last week
Had little pig creatures that speak.
They led me to shrines,
Through fields sown with mines,
And let me at rituals peek.
--- H Welchel

'Bout ten virgin pig-thingys sat
On lingams, each big as a bat.
Each blue steely tower
Had black holes for power.
And then my young rookie crew shat!
--- H Welchel

For dildoes proceeded to spin
And plunge and gyrate deep within,
And vibrate so hard,
The smell of burnt lard
Soon sickened them, as did the din.
--- H Welchel

Such terrible cruel sacrifice!
Then each massive evil device
Exploded with lasers
That chopped them like razors,
Leaving all crispy and diced.
--- H Welchel

The priestess, who called herself Xarbs,
Confirmed (as we cleaned up our garbs):
These dildoes of doom
(As you may assume)
Are know as the pork Cube-B-Barbs.
--- H Welchel

The alien Sporch from the rim,
Where starlight is milky and dim,
Have juices that glow,
And jeez, can they flow!
For afterglow, take a bright swim!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In cities with high stony dikes,
They raise up their yeast crops and tikes.
The sewers are huge --
But sex? A deluge.
The law requires countryside hikes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This is file bxl

It's so damn pitch-dark all the time,
Sporch search out their mates with a chime.
But as they draw near,
A green glowing smear
Lights up the paths taken, with slime.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Then as they proceed to caress,
And special sex-buttons depress,
Their phosphorus juice
Bursts forth in a sluice!
The landscape lights up with their mess!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Their organs have special by-passes
Between the sweet parts and their asses.
If not for these holes
They'd blow out their poles,
And rupture the cunts of the lasses.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Usually, when they're on the verge
Of climax, the Sporch will submerge
Themselves in a lake.
(The pressure's a brake
Which lengthens the time of their surge.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The pressure at one hundred feet
Is found to be luscious and sweet.
It's pretty, you know;
A deep greenish glow,
Diffuse in the depths. Really neat!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Now last year, in some shallow brook,
Two Sporch College kids blew their gook.
Their minds are now toast.
Thus quoth the provost,
appendwaters stun deep!" What a schnook!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some aliens abducted a slew
Of young virgins, but not for a screw:
"We won't risk E. coli,
Hepatitis, Eboli;
We'll see they're well done in a stew."
--- John Miller 0072

Even those most accustomed to grue
Were shocked when an alien guru
Deftly made gourmet fare,
Wasting only the hair,
While converting the gristle to glue.
--- John Miller 0072a

That horrible alien crew
Started eating on some unseen cue.
Did they truly not care
'Bout our horrified stare?
To this question they left not a clue.
--- John Miller 0O72b

They finished their meal with a brew,
Then before anyone could say "Boo!"
They wiped off their chins,
Gave us hidious grins,
And blasted off into the blue.
--- John Miller 0072c

To the aliens we're incomprehensible.
When they asked me, I said, "That's not sensible --
Taking you to our King --
We don't have such a thing --
What we do have is downright reprehensible!"
--- John Miller 0344

But after regarding our "King",
Taking tribute from lords in Beijing,
And creating a specter
With his wayward scepter,
They agreed it was much the same thing.
--- Irish

A populous species, the Xaist,
Just float around, orb-like, in space.
Their bods have one hole
With many a role --
Known functions: sex, smelling and waste.
--- Anon

Along with some spores, small and round,
It's known that, included, is sound.
The theory goes so:
They preggers their beaux
With stinky sweet tunes. How profound!
--- Anon

Now once when I happened to pass
An intergalactic gas-mass,
My sensors played scales
Like those of Earth-whales,
But timbred like woodwinds and brass.
--- Anon

A Xaist-orb was spotted to port.
It turned, and began to distort.
First it grew wavy,
Emitting some "gravy",
And then it grew flattened and short.
--- Anon

Its tiny tight hole, but a blip,
That opened and let something rip.
The space-phones recorded
A dissonance sordid.
I think it had wanked on my ship.
--- Anon

Now, no one knew how to deduce
Just how all these Xaist reproduce.
But this, though, we knew:
The farts that they blew
Were complex, diverse, and effuse.
--- Anon

Unsure how Xaist generate germ
(And what we know's smoke more than sperm),
Our word-smiths were stuck --
'Twas not quite a fuck,
So smokeoffs exobios new term.
--- Anon

Now add to this mystery this thing:
The male of this species was missing.
Although we'd found spore
Of smoke, nothing more.
The riddle, in whole, was quite pissing.
--- Anon

Then there in the void we beheld
No Xaist. Had it also propelled
Itself into warp?
A brief stench of carp
Was all that the gas sensors smelled.
--- Anon

We scanned the whole quadrant for queer E, us,
And tracked a fresh wormhole to Sirius
And as we warped off
I called for a boff
And soon had Lieutenant delerious.
--- Anon

Excited by ventures anew,
I gave a short break to the crew
(Them horny-assed fuckers
Can shure shoot some Smuckers),
And soon they were sticky with spew.
--- Anon

Now back to the story at hand --
(Lieutenant, please stow my fine gland)
From warp-speed we jumped,
And wow, were we pumped!
A zillion fine Xaist! The home-land!
--- Anon

The Star of the Dog, bright and bold,
Illumined Xaist secrets untold!
The musical gas
From Xaist ass to ass ---
A beautiful web to behold!
--- Anon

We quietly lurked for awhile
And shook our heads slow with a smile;
For once we'd translated
The farts generated,
The words weren't all Lesbian style!
--- Anon

We found that in throes of desire,
One partner, the one who got higher,
Would briefly turn male
And thus ends my tale.
Yes, where there is fmoke there's a sire.
--- Anon

Where's he gone? We need him on hand.
This "no farts" is more'n I can stand.
It's quiet in here.
Bring cabbage and beer!
And Xanth who fart best in the land!
--- Anon

On Regulus we found the xeggs;
They raise up their children from eggs.
Each little germ
Has ciliate worms --
Like protrusions that fart when it begs.
--- H Welchel

The Regulan spring drove us batty;
A whistling opus of flati
Was high-pitched and loud,
But Xegg moms weren't cowed --
They'd barf up a pap, green and fatty.
--- H Welchel

When moms to the nest would return,
We noticed a thing of concern.
The loud ones sometimes
Got no oily slimes,
And silent worms never were spurned.
--- H Welchel

With instruments from our valise,
We timed cyclic beg-fart release.
Some wait for a week,
Some always would squeak,
But weekly squeals got all the grease.
--- H Welchel

Floated free with meteors, see
By myself, alone, was just me.
Now Earth-Moon comes near
Big twin-star from here.
I hope I don't land in the sea!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Of course! I have promised to get
Green Cheese for Jayne, my sweet pet.
I'll land on the moon
Sometime real soon,
Then down on the Earth I will set.
--- Jim Weaver Collection


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