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Supercilious fools speak to robots,
As Quixote would joust like the know-nots.
It really seems clear,
The dunces right here
Are prancing, obsequious slowbots.
--- Anon

An angry CPU name of Sam
Had a volatile 8K of RAM.
And it wanted to fight,
But was told that its byte
Was a quasi-electrical sham.
--- D A Marker P8211

There once was a robot named Zerk
Who was programmed for nothing but work.
He would slave while you slept
And keep himself kept
And save the expense of a clerk.
--- Neal Wilgus P9003

Zerk's owner was Ivan Jake Freud
Who lived on a green asteroid.
And there, 'neath the bubble,
Assisting with trouble,
Was Molly McGerkus, android.
--- Neal Wilgus P9003

Now Molly was programmed with spice
On how to be naughty and nice.
So when Ivan Jake Freud
Was away in the void,
Molly sought out Zerk's help and advice.
--- Neal Wilgus P9003

Said Mollly, "Now look, Mr. Zerk,
I've got a new job you can work."
Her expression was odd
When she reached for his rod,
And pulled it erect with a jerk.
--- Neal Wilgus P9003

Now Zerk is still perking away
But when Ivan returns they'll both pay.
For the smile on Moll's face
Is a beacon in space,
And Zerk shirks his work now to play.
--- Neal Wilgus P9003

A robot named Gamma Thirteen
Once seduced a computing machine.
But his bold intromission
Caused nuclear fission--
Who knows what the kids might have been?
--- G2598

My Robot has gone into heat,
Linked to an electrical teat.
And with programming craft
Of his vertical shaft,
Makes rythum with musical beat.
--- Anon

Ashamed to admit that he's mine --
An error of mental design.
Yes, I caught him alone
With my push-button phone,
Bells ringing for long-distance time.
--- Anon

Well, he was handy in life --
Helped me in work toil and strife:
But I dismantled the dolt--
Every nut, wire and bolt,
For I caught him in bed with my wife!
--- Anon

There once was a robot named Sue
Designed to do nothing but screw.
She knew all the tricks
But the union said nix,
Or their girls would have nothing to do.
--- Neal Wilgus P8210

A robot I took out on a cruise,
Dressed in sweater, dark glasses and trews.
When she fell in the pool,
I felt such a big fool;
She short circuited and blew a fuse!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

There once was this man from Deepe;
Moylcon, his brother, was creepy.
He raised up a stick,
A robotic dick,
To put on his sister, Miss Peepy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A mad old inventor called Kracker
Built a robot to ward off attackers.
He engineered some
Castanets up its bum
And gave it a kick in the clacker.
--- Loz

A bachelor inventor named Treacher
Built a high-bosomed transistor creature.
When he started to grope
It cried "Mac, I'm no dope!
So before we begin, get a preacher."
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Rhodes,
Who was built to work on triodes.
If you're out on a date,
You switch on and you wait,
A quick move and the girl overloads!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Croesus-rich financier Dennis Tito
Thought a few days in space would be neat-o.
Twenty million buckskis
Persuaded the Russkis
But the killjoys at NASA may veto.
--- Dr Limerick

The moon, shining full in the night,
Is a grand and a marvelous sight,
While it rises so high,
Past the clouds in the sky,
Bathing all of the world in its light.
--- Cap'n Bean P0110

No one's watching their tits, but alas,
When exposed to a vacuum (no gas),
If they aren't contained,
They are very much pained,
For they double in size without bras!.
--- Grzegorz Gigol P0011

Chicken Little got bonked on the head;
"Run! The sky is falling!" she said.
Now this hardly was true,
Nor a "bolt from the blue"
'Twas a bolt from Cassini instead.

(Cassini rocket carrying radioactive power source)
--- John Miller 0112

Chicken Little had caused pandemonium,
And crapped on the kitchen linoleum.
She was overwrought,
And mistakenly thought
Cassini had dropped its plutonium.
--- Frank Fazed

There once was a shuttle so old,
Which suffered from heat and then cold.
On re-entry one morn,
Apart it was torn;
As scrap metal it soon was sold.
--- Windy Poo

A loony inventor named Lloyd,
Who rocketed into the void,
Left his neighbors aghast
At the size of the blast,
And his creditors rather annoyed.
--- Cyber Geezer

An old astronaut from a moon flight
Said, "We'll go to the sun next all right!"
"But won't it get hot?"
He was asked and the sot
Said, "Don't worry, we'll blast off at night."
--- Don Moore P0111

Said an astronaut pilot named Deare,
"Do you know the one thing I most fear?
Being shot into space
For a week, face to face,
With an obstinate, well-muscled queer."
--- Armand E Singer 317a

A fellow who called himself Ace
Stuffed gunpowder into his face;
He swallowed it all,
Cut a fart by the wall,
And blasted himself into space.
--- Cap'n Bean P0409

Those free-falling games can get hairy,
Since the speeds and the angles can vary.
The jets are employed,
Leaving vectors destroyed,
And Billy boinks Bob 'stead of Mary.
--- C P Mariner

Miss Lynn was a versatile slattern
Who moved in a curious pattern:
She flew in a jet
To Venus to pet,
But always rode rockets to Saturn.
--- Alsops Foibles

Outer space is where we should go;
You never know what we don't know.
We should go see --
Take me, take me!
To bask in the stars brilliant glow.
--- Anon

Nakasone said he was aware
Japan's space program only was fair.
Though he'd hoped that by June
They'd have men on the moon,
There was nary a nip in the air.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8811

A lovely young astronaut, Grace,
Decided to see outer space;
"No need for a bra,"
She said to her ma,
"But my boobs just fly up in my face!"
--- Mark Levy P0011

An astronaut woman named Grace
Had a marvelous smile on her face
As she stripped to her skin
And proclaimed, with a grin,
"My titties are floating in space!"
--- Cap'n Bean P0011

This is file bvl

Sally Ride, our first true astradoll,
Said, "In space, no bra's needed at all.
I am pleased to report
That boobs need no support;
There's no gravity sag in free fall!"
--- Bill Nesbit P0011

When into Earth's orbit they've shifted,
Lady astronauts find that they're gifted
By gravity's laws
With the freedom from bras,
For in space, more than spirits are lifted.
--- Jerry Nordal P0011

Said the shy lady astronaut, Sue,
"There's one thing I don't need to do.
As I'm weightless in space,
My boobs stay in their place.
Why can't guys on the ship do that too?"
--- Tom Patton P0011

I'd like to reply with more suavity,
And not stoop to filthy depravity,
But alas, it's the case
That once out in space,
One's mind becomes free of much gravity.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Astronauts, please all take note:
The things into space that you tote,
Which stay safe and sound
Down here on the ground,
In agravic environments, float!
--- Anon

Although she'd been thoroughly ridden,
She said "No more, now, I'm not kiddin',
I'll not play the whore bit
Descending from orbit;
Re-entry is strictly forbidden!"
--- C P Mariner

I wish I were rich, though no snob,
Doing things that would make your heart throb.
I'd risk a few scars
To be first man on Mars.
(And NASA would NOT get the job!)
--- Anon

Whatever your state of depravity,
It's tough making love in null gravity.
You take aim and note
The direction you'll float,
But you still often hit the wrong cavity.
--- C P Mariner

In Topeka, a moppet who rocketed,
Was arrested, bespringed and besprocketed.
The springs and the sprockets
That cling to the rockets
In Topeka are not to be pocketed.
--- Anon

A young astronaut named McGraw
Sailed space ships without any flaw,
But when he tried to lay
With his girl friend one day,
He went into a roll, pitch and yaw.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0264

NASA thinks that its rover on Mars
Beams back pictures of Mars rocks and spars.
But the Mars government
Has had Tusconscapes sent
Or we'd learn Mars has houses and cars.
--- Prof M-G

The astronaut took Jane and Monique
Into space for a week.
They went up to Mars
Where he kept them in jars;
They're gasping for air as we speak.

(Though nude, they just won't take a peek.)
--- Bic Willis

A spaceman returning from Mercury
Freely crooned like a loon gone berserkury.
But his poor birdcall sounds
Got him jailed on the grounds
Of Singsing for passing bad turkury!
--- Anon

A young man, with considerable zeal,
Has glued a large spring to each heel.
Then, jogging in place,
He was launched into space;
He'll re-enter just south of Mobile
--- W W Lotz

Oh, give me a home where the asteroids roam,
Where galaxies and Milky Ways do foam.
Where stars glitter like chrome,
Bald hair's easy to come
And the rations are ground Styrofoam.
--- Lynn Mostafa

If meteorites and flying boulders
Spawn alien monster householders;
If projects go awry,
Due to genomes in the sky,
Try washing pets with Head and Shoulders.
--- Lynn Mostafa

To "the far reaches of outer space",
At a speed with which none can keep pace,
I'll make my getaway
Slightly later today,
And I don't plan to leave the least trace.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0111

One generation ago
We basked in the glorious glow
Of our quest for the Moon;
Well, it ended too soon.
Now I doubt my grandchildren will go.
--- John Miller

If not now, it will be, it's reputed,
That Earth's citizens are quite well suited
To reach not only Mars,
But the far distant stars,
And leave all of them scarred and polluted.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P2006

Some thousands of misssles were sired;
By fictional threats were inspired.
As the systems grew bigger,
Some fool pulled the trigger;
Only ten on each side were required.
--- Albin Chaplin

Space may be the final frontier,
But its taken us just forty years
To leave so much trash,
There's a risk of a crash,
And minimal places to veer.
--- Dr Limerick 12-14-01

In World War II the English knew
A sort the lottery -- V2.
Just where would it fall;
Would God your number call;
Would he know a splattered you?
--- Irving Superior P8901

A fellow who called himself Ace
Was sick of the whole human race;
So, with hands in each pocket,
He boarded a rocket,
And blasted himself into space.
--- Cap'n Bean P0606

There was a young fellow named Floyd
Who wanted to fly like a boid.
So he entered the race
To be first into space,
But he soon was annoyed by the void.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2572

A bit of life left the fourth planet,
And landed on Earth in some granite.
When you're only one cell,
Must be careful as Hell,
And this once can't have been, can it?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A space station up in the sky
Is a thing to which people say "Why?"
Although others have said,
That to forge on ahead,
It is something we truly must try!
--- Cap'n Bean P9902

There's not a peep from Planet Red.
Seems the signal has gone very dead.
And the total bill:
165 mill.
Could I have that money instead?
--- Frank Petersohn

Wasteful spending? Here's a perfect case.
Now NASA's got egg on its face.
All that money they spend
For the little green men,
In now simply "Lost In Space!"
--- Frank Petersohn

Rocket scientists drinking in bars,
May have lately downed too many jars.
If the math starts to slur,
Then trajectories err,
And it's hard to fly spacecraft to Mars.
--- Prof M-G

Said an astronaut out midst the stars,
"It's warp six on the way back to Mars;
If we don't reach our goal,
By sunset they'll roll
Up the sidewalks and close all the bars."
--- Arthur Deex

A NASA technician named Lars
Studied Sojourner's data from Mars
And announced: "It's colossal!
We can tell from this fossil
That the Martians smoked Cuban cigars."
--- Anon

The Martians have tried to retain us,
Their motives of course being heinous,
But we'll blast off real soon,
And swing by the moon,
On a course heading straight for Uranus.
--- Bob Birch P0012

There was a young fellow named Brandon
Who flew off to Mars with abandon,
But when he got there,
It exploded in air
And he radioed, "Nothing to land on."
--- Limber Limericks

There once was a planet named Mars,
Where there were no wine bars.
They had one-celled life
Who didn't know strife,
But now they are on Earth in jars.
--- Jim Weaver Collection


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