Underneath the fractured scars,
Life was discovered on Mars.
Some think it's a crock
That it got here on a rock,
But them green dudes are now superstars.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

One night as I gazed at the stars,
I spotted the Red Planet Mars,
And thought of the rover
Sent to look it over
For water, air, hotels, and bars.
--- Frank T9707

NASA thinks that its rover on Mars
Beams back pictures of Mars rocks and spars.
But it intercepts free
Martian cable TV,
Bringing Tucson to Mars VCRs!
--- Anon

Mars Orbiter's loss is obscene, be
The error that caused it quite teeny.
Let's all thank our stars
That it happened on Mars,
And not with the probe named Cassini!
--- Anon

NASA thinks that its rover on Mars
Beams back pictures of Mars rocks and spars.
But the Martians they mucked up
Rover's 'lectronic hook up;
Now rover sends back avatars.
--- Karina

Returned from their first trip to Mars,
The explorers all headed for bars.
"The 'canals' that we dared
Left us terribly scared --
Those aren't people up there, they're cars!"
--- P8211

A Martian inhabitant said,
"A strange thing aroused me from bed.
It clanks and it squeals,
And runs on six wheels,
Has panels instead of a head.
--- Chris Papa

A label was stuck on its back,
Right under a balloon air sac.
It gave an address
Which it said to express,
"If found, back to Radio Shack."
--- Crispy T9707

A first time astronaut went to Mars;
He said this is much better than cars.
There's no shortage of gas;
Asteroids often pass;
But there's no choice when visiting bars.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Eleven months after travelling through stars,
A pathfinder will be landing on Mars.
Launched by Marianne
(And not by Ariane)
Let's hope the green men get some Bars.
--- Anon

She ventures outside without caution.
She doesn't need bagels to nosh on.
She thrives in thin air
Digging samples up there...
"Sojourner" is my favorite Martian.
--- Mary Singer

Two brave little Rovers on Mars;
Spirit and Opportunity are NASA's stars!
Pretty postcards beamed back --
Red dust and stones black
From empty and strange reservoirs.
--- Lynn Mostafa

There's celebrity life up on Mars.
Saturday night brings out all the stars.
Oh my goodness gracious
They are so voracious.
After drinking they eat all the bars.
--- Tom Patton

Through strato-, iono-, and troposphere,
Falls the space junk once known as Mir;
The locale specific
Out in the Pacific,
Is crowded with tuna-boat sightseers.
--- Dr Limerick 03-22-01

There was a young man with no fear,
Spent three weeks in orbit on Mir.
He hoped sex in freefall
Would be new, but all
He could do was to barf, the poor dear.
--- Robert Elliot

Mir was a space station rare;
The Soviets launched it up there.
It served man for years,
Through laughter and tears,
But then fell into disrepair.
--- Tom Campbell

The funding for Mir had gone dead.
"We must deorbit!" they said.
It streaked through the air
With meteoric flare,
Then fell to the ocean, like lead.
--- Tom Campbell

The Russians had to give up on Mir.
It got worse for year after year.
If Mir landed on a trawl,
There were free tacos for all,
But she missed the target, I fear.
--- Jerry Pool

The Mir crew has proved itself able
To crash, and now cut a power cable.
Is there vodka on board?
If so, how much is stored?
Used as fuel, could it save the space stable.
--- T9707

Astronauts on Mir roar in pain,
To keep the space station on gain.
But worn out rubber,
Wires and air scrubber,
Make me think Mir would lie down fain.
--- Daniel Ford

They're having more trouble on Mir.
The crew says, "We're not breathing here.
The oxygen's low;
It's time that we go
Back to Earth for the rest of the year."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A crashed Russian spaceship called Mir
Will soon be abandoned, I fear.
'Cause each new cosmonaut
Was so hurriedly taught,
That there's no one aboard who can steer!
--- M Mestert

The cosmonaut, wiping a tear,
Was arrested, and managed, "Oh dear.
Comrades, in short,
I have to report
I've just smashed the hell out of Mir."
--- Jerry Nordal

MIR for many years "carried the freight";
Comes apart at the seams now, of late.
Once a stellar performer,
Now with holes in her dormer;
It's time to retire her license plate.
--- Tom Patton P9710

Russia's MIR space station is creaky;
The toilets all smell and are leaky.
Ground technicians frown
When computers shut down;
The should a new MIR that's sleeky.
--- Tom Patton P9710

A Russian supply ship, I fear,
Has crippled the space station, Mir.
It bumped into Specter,
And practically wrecked her.
I doubt it will last one more year.
--- Frank T9707

Soyuz Spektor problems are clear;
Station need space, price is dear;
Includes a Golem,
Gremlins you call 'em,
Result is the same: Vay iss Mir.
--- Daniel Ford

Yiddish is to German, I fear,
As Cockney to English, unclear.
It sounds like folks
Had mouths of egg yolks,
Few consonants in "Weh Ist Mir!"
--- Daniel Ford

Some fellow, aged fifty, but nifty,
Considers his life needs a lift. He
Paid millions of bucks.
Said Liz, "If he fucks,
I'd take him to heaven for fifty."

(paid 20 million for Russian space ride)
--- Tiddy Ogg

Your offer, Liz, we must appraise.
Your talents would surely amaze,
But one snag I see
As to why it can't be...
He's hoping to stay up for days.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There once was an astronaut, Rubble,
Who found himself deeply in trouble,
For cavorting in space
And to NASA's disgrace,
Displaying his balls to the Hubble.
--- Cap'n Bean P0208

What a marvelous cosmical trip
In Sagan's big-screened rocket ship...
With Carl turtle-necked,
To the stars many trekked...
I miss his sly smile and wry quip.
--- Tutta Gioia a

Colombia gone -- seven brave souls
Who each took on incredible roles
In the frontiers of space,
With elan and grace,
Accepting risk in pursuit of our goals.
--- Al Bienstock

This is file bul

Colombia gone -- and now we mourn.
It's a time when emotions are torn.
As we grieve for the dead,
We must still look ahead --
Honor them with a program reborn.
--- Al Bienstock

Colombia gone, incredibly,
We feel like they're our family --
Each a permanent part
Of our collective heart.
To those brave astronauts, RIP.
--- Al Bienstock

John Glenn's doing a very brave deed;
As he readies his mission, we plead:
Can we make a case
To send into space
All politicians with him, Godspeed!
--- Frank Petersohn

The Discovery crew weren't too keen,
When they saw something round, glowing green...
But 'twas just John Glenn's face;
He was testing how space
Affects old folks around Halloween!
--- Prof M-G

Mused the septagenarian Glenn:
"Not the Congress, but space was my yen...
And I hear no great cheer
For my Senate career,
So I'm orbiting Earth once again!"
--- Prof M-G

John Glenn, our great pilot ace,
Much abashed over Zippergate,
True blue and unblinking,
Three stars for his thinking;
He's blasting to outer space!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

They said to old astronaut Glenn,
"You want to go up there again?"
He said, "I sure do;
I'm at ease with it, too;
'Cause it's somewhere I've already been!"
--- Cap'n Bean P9812

It's no longer called the "Space Race";
The U.S. secured the first place.
But now, in the sky,
One wonders why
We have our own geezer in space.
--- Frank

John Glenn says we shouldn't besmirch
A tool whose best use is research;
Save slots on missions
To give old politicians
A grand final tax-financed splurge.
--- Dr Limerick 05-06-01

If John Glenn's on a space trip;
I gather his science chores are hip.
In fact the old butthole
Is up in the shuttle,
To test out "Depends" and "Polygrip!"
--- John Chastaine

Though man may be proud of his race,
And medals his bosom does grace,
Yet he should not soft-pedal,
That he should pin a medal
On the dog who was first into space.

(Laika - first space dog)
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2759

At the count-down, a bold Astronaut
Thought that Mission Control had said "Nought."
Bit that hero's zero
Was just a mis-hear, so
He orbited more than he ought!
--- Baxter Gill Blue Peter

An astronaut woman named Grace
Was the first of her sex into space;
From the depths of the sky
Came her rapturous cry,
"Why, I don't weigh a thing in this place!"
--- Lims Unlimited

"Washed up," they said, "Just one more bit
Of proof, and we'll take no more shit."
But instead of rebuttal,
He left on the shuttle's
Turn signal for twenty three orbits.
--- Temujin

When the shuttle is launched into space,
To fly at a hell of a pace,
The crew sleeps, works, talks,
Even goes for walks,
Before it returns safely to base.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

There once was an astronaut, crass,
Who stuffed rocket fuel up his ass.
And then this bloke, weird,
Lit a match, disappeared
In a huge ball of flaming hot gas.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The space shuttle was launched on a Sunday,
Carrying astronauts Corbet and Grundy;
After one day in orbit
Said astronaut Corbet,
"Look! Sic transit gloria Monday!"
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306

A great rocket expert, I've read,
Was a man who repeatedly said
That he aimed for the stars,
But sometimes," said Lars,
"The fellow hit London instead."
--- A N Winkler P8406

That great rocket scientist, Werner
Von Braun, when he was just a learner,
Ate chili one night,
In hopes that he might
Develop a great after-burner.
--- Anon

I think he meant Wernher von Braun,
A fellow of world-wide renown,
Whose missiles brought tensions,
Not to mention large pensions
To the cripples of Old London Town.
--- Arthur Deex P8406

There once was a civilization
Who looked on itself with elation.
We are all, it proclaimed,
Till its model was maimed,
By an alien communication.
--- Tim Pollack

An exobiologist, Bligh,
Thinks wonders may come from the sky:
"If SETI comes through,
I'll know what to do
Because I've read lots of sci-fi."
--- Norm Storer P0108

At night subtle frights fix my mind;
Am I the last one left behind?
Do we merely keep pace
In a sad rodent-race?
Oh whither, whence, wherefore mankind.
--- Lassies Lover

Intelligent life, I agree,
Might have signalled deliberately.
But before they said "Over"
Their home star went nova,
And killed them, one million B.C.
--- William J Fraser

A message from M-32
On waterhole wavelengths came through.
It said, "Users stay clear,
There's eavesdropping here...
The SETI League's tuned in to you!"
--- Carol Ryles

The SETI League aims to devise
A way to find life in the skies.
One day they will find
The truth for mankind,
And take home their own Nobel Prize.
--- Carol Ryles

There once was a little green man,
Whose signal I happened to scan
On the hydrogen line.
This antenna of mine
Is fulfilling the Seti League's plan.
--- Anon

The intelligent beings are out there,
From Vega, Deneb, or Altair.
It's only a matter
Of hearing their chatter,
Though translation is too much to bear.
--- Mike Stauss

They say there was life upon Mars,
When dinosaurs stuck in the tars.
But it couldn't think --
Just sat in the drink,
So we have to keep searching the stars.
--- Steve Hillis

They came across trillions of miles,
According to secret X-Files.
Now the good folks at SETI
Want us to get ready
And welcome them back with big smiles.
--- Shaun Merrigan

The stars are like dust up above us;
We might find some beings who love us.
But we'll never hear
Or find them, I fear,
Unless someone pushes and shoves us.
--- Ken Ogger

A message from space, most sublime,
Arrived in G-sharp, four-four time:
We've heard your transmission;
To pass our audition,
Start sending us Mozaart, not Prime!
--- Carol Ryles

The signal from alpha Centauri
Brought SETI their sought-after-glory --
But imagine the huff
When they decoded the stuff
As a travelling sales-alien story.
--- Adam B Davis