Ther once was a spaceman named Spock.
Who had a huge Vulcanized cock.
A girl from Missouri
Whose name was Uhuru
Just fainted away from the shock.
--- G2616*

When Spock, the unflappable Vulcan,
Gets his seven year itch, he starts sulkin'.
When his girl comes in sight,
They will mate day and night,
To the point where he can't get his bulk in.
--- Actaeon

On a planet named Betelgeuse IV
Mr. Spock ass-melds Ursa, the whore;
"Oh my," says the slut
While rubbing her butt,
"Only Chekhov has come there before!"
--- Mark Levy P0012

"I'm so happy and gay to play Kirk,"
Says Bill Shatner, concealing a smirk;
"If you saw that huge cock
On my pal Mr. Spock,
You would know why he drives me berserk!"
--- Mark Levy P0012

A beam -- Down come Kirk and old Spock;
They find themselves out on a rock,
Confronting a druid:
"Welcome to Clwyd,"
He says. Then to Spock: "What's up, doc?"
--- Anon

"Now Spock," says Kirk, "Chill out, hang loose.
You're thinking of that Doctor Seuss.
Doc Spock was a phoney,
Talked utter baloney,
On how to bring up a papoose."
--- Anon

"Now druid, we've been out of luck;
Been light-years without a good fuck.
Nowt but a young houri
On Alpha Centauri,
And a fat Betelgeusian duck."
--- Anon

So druid Alf starts on his sales
Talk: "This thing here never fails,
I got it mail or-
Der from Ogg's hardware store,
Attracts girls from all over Wales."
--- Anon

He delves in his robe for to show it,
A whistle-type thing. "You just blow it,
And girls will come visit."
Says Kirk: "Spock, what is it?"
"A fife, Jim, but not as we know it."
--- Anon

The whip-poor-will sings for his lass;
The shades of the night now fall fast...
Or as poets say
In their flowery way:
'Tis dark as a coal miner's ass.
--- Anon

Thus Spock and Kirk trudge through the gloom,
A dwelling they spy, none too soon.
A toot on the flute
Makes a hoot like a coot,
And there, in the light of the moon...
--- Anon

And now in suspense I will keep
You, while my poor brainwaves can creep,
To bring the denoue-
ment, (As yet I've no clue,)
A fair bet though, that it involves sheep.
--- Anon

A sign reads "The Sisters of Percy".
Spock cries "Kirk, we got to reverse!" He
Runs, but too late...
We all know his fate...
"It's Sister Christina. Cry Mercy!"
--- Anon

There's no time to stand round and mope.
Kirk thinks, gee, we've only one hope.
Grabs Spock by the ears,
Despite Chrissie's jeers,
Screams "Beam us up Spotty, you dope!"
--- Anon

The moral of this tale, my dears --
Don't let it fall on deaf spock-ears --
Is don't flaunt your whistle,
Or mad Sister Chris'll
Soon have your manhood, I fears.
--- Anon

"Oh hell!" says Spock. "Why is it that,
Wherever I go, there's some prat
Thinks me, with derision,
A pediatrician?
Who wrote 'bout the cat with a hat?"
--- Anon P0012

The Enterprise girls, so one hears,
Have chased Spock for several years.
His look of disdain
Has spared them great pain,
For his prick is as sharp as his ears.
--- G2612

There once was a Vulcan named Spock
Whose dick was too large for his jock.
He, in front of the crew,
Gave Uhuru a screw,
And Kirk, the poor jerk, was in shock!
--- John Dohner P8901

The ears that adorned Mr Spock
Gave many a gal quite a shock;
Had they looked further down
They'd have seen half a pound...
Of prime Vulcan meat, hard as a rock.
--- Anon

The ears were a cunning disguise
And masked his enormous surprise
Before they could blink
He'd be into the pink,
And be pounding like mad, 'twixt their thighs.
--- Anon

And boy, when he wiggled them ears,
The flood of emotion weren't tears.
His matter transferred,
He would flip them the bird.
Yes, old Spock was a man without peers.
--- Anon

Uhuru looked at Mr. Spock
And wondered of the cut of his cock.
She snuck to his room,
And there in the gloom
Was Sulu and Spock's cock in lip lock!
--- John Chastaine

Harry Mudd had brought three sexy lasses.
Mr Spock, he was making no passes,
But when they were done talking,
And they they got to walking,
Captain Kirk cuaght Spock watching their asses.
--- Laura Goodwin

There once was a Commander named Spock
Who sounded so smooth when he'd talk.
From the very first day,
The fans would all say,
"That green-blooded Vulcan, we grok!"
--- Brian Prescott

A dazzling princess Amanda,
Was screwed in the sky with Miranda.
She moaned, "Skywalker!
Jedi powers to cock her,
Can be used for us three on the veranda."
--- Anon

Said Han Solo to his friend Chewbacca,
My dick's coverd up with your caca.
Next time use this tonic
For a cleansing colonic
You also should use some Binaca(TM).
--- Anon

An alien Jedi named Rhoda
Could turn a flat beer into soda.
She'd douche with a brew,
Cunt-fart CO2,
And sweeten it up with some Yoda.
--- H Welchel

Darth Vader can kill his detractors,
Without weapons or hands being factors.
He just gives them "the eye"
And they gasp, choke, and die,
Displaying their talents as actors.
--- Larry Hollister

A sextet of nymphs and a satyr
Were fucked half to death by Darth Vader.
Satisfied them of course,
Because he used the 'Force',
And a dick like a foot-long potater.
--- John Chastaine

That horny old Jedi, Darth Vader,
Had foreskin as rough as a gator --
Princess Leia said "No,
That thing's got to go!"
The force was with him, so he ate her!
--- Anon

The Cyborgian villain, Darth Vader,
Dragged a girl to his cabin and laid her.
Then to finish his task,
Munched her muff with his mask,
Which made her considerably staider.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402

So Darth Vaader is Luke Skywalker's Dad,
Of that I am sure he is glad.
Sister Leia's there too,
It's a family do,
And the force is strong with this lad.
--- Funny Bone

To our horror, the Death Star erases
Leia's planet, without any traces.
Seeking out stolen plans
In their enemies hands,
They've been looking in Alderan places.
--- Larry Hollister

This is file bpl

Every item displayed will be sold:
The C-3PO plated with gold,
All the stormtrooper guns,
And the fake Leia buns;
It's an Empire of Bargains, all told.
--- David Morin

At a posh, premiere showing of "Star Wars",
Two sharp valets opened two car doors,
And out stepped Obi Wan,
And Chewbacca and Han
With an entourage of toothless bar whores!
--- Trainman

Star Wars happened a long way away,
Where spacemen and aliens play.
If they ever came near,
I very much fear
George Lucas would have hell to pay.
--- Tony Burrell

While meeting my good friend Han Solo,
(He now drives a Volkswagen Polo)
I asked if he'd mind,
If we bump and grind,
But he just offered me his last Rolo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a young man named Han,
Who dropped all his goods and then ran.
He got into a rut
With Jabba the Hut,
Who froze him in a Carbonite can.
--- Erin Weldon

Jabba the Hutt had a thing
So monstrous, he needed a sling.
The princess he poked
With both titties yoked,
And each of her buns on a spring.
--- H Welchel

Where was he hiding his thing?
I again looked for his ding-a-ling.
Oh, how could I fail
To think that his tail
Was all just for copulating.
--- Marlene Lewis

"The Falcon" is in for repair;
Chewbacca has shaved off his hair;
And Leia's a dike,
With a large motorbike.
Sometimes life is just so unfair.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Wookie who lived in a spoor pit
Would feed mutant Wampas on core grit.
And when one would fart,
He'd light its aft-part,
And see if it would attain orbit.
--- H Welchel

I greatly fear for the safety
Of a Yoda that is latex-free.
The bare CGI (not a clue - McW)
May make Star Wars die
Of some terrible new STD!
--- Graham Lester

Han wanted to pay Leia a buck.
She said "No way you dumb cluck!"
"You want cheap nookie
Go talk to your wookie.
With me, You're shit out of luck!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Since Starwars has again started showin',
Lucasfilms bottom line has been growin'.
Now, I may be amiss,
But my question is this:
Who's caring for poor Uncle Owen?
--- Trainman

Suspecting it wasn't germaine,
The Wookie was shaved of its mane.
When off came the fluff,
It wasn't so tough;
'Twas only a rat on Rogaine.
--- Tubby Bubba

In jodhpurs she ran 'round the course
Attempting to capture her horse.
"How the hell can I jump
If I'm not on your rump?"
The whinny came back, "Use the force!"
--- Anon

There once was a man named Luke;
With his father too, he did duke.
With the Emperor dead,
I saw Vader's head,
And the sight of it just made me puke.
--- Anon

Luke met him in Degobaw,
The strangest thing I ever saw.
Wrinkled and green,
On a staff he did lean;
A teacher of universe law.
--- Gearhart

He taught Luke about the force,
And how to tap this resource.
If he would but listen
And learn Yoda's wisdom,
He would have no room for remorse.
--- Gearhart

Jedi Knigh he was destined to be,
Though not one immediately.
He had to return
To Yoda to learn
To make sequels indefinitely.
--- Gearhart

The spy who came in was a mole.
To Congo his services sold.
The trend of this thought --
Came in from the hot
Six months and six months from the cold.
--- Irving Superior P8606

A government agent named Peek
Used to transmit dispatches in Greek;
But he kept getting "typto"
Mixed up with "crypto,"
And caused a security leak.
--- Ray Wilbur P8512

A CIA spook name of Luke,
Was chasing a kook with a nuke.
A miscalculation
Cause Luke's immolation
And also a gentle rebuke.
--- Ed Potts P8603

There are several old agents who boast
That in Washington spying at most
Requires few deceptions.
They attend all receptions
And simply subscribe to the Post.
--- A N Wilkins P8603

Baby Doc, most observers surmise,
Gave the Tontons Macoute a surprise
By taking French leave.
Now there'll be, they perceive
Open season on government spies.
--- A N Wilkins P8603

Empress Catherine knew how to stall
Male spies and to have her a ball.
She'd take them to bed
And keep them, it's said,
Too busy to learn much at all.
--- A N Wilkins P8603

A young captive spy in Manila
Is forced to screw wolf or gorilla;
Smirked his captors, "Gee Whiz,
The decision is his,
He's caught 'twixt Charybdis and Scylla."
--- Armand E Singer 459

Through the front door came the foreign spy,
To steal secrets -- as easy as pie.
The denial by China,
Would give one angina,
'Cause it's such a rotten damn lie.
--- Anon

They say that Mr Wen Ho Lee
Has leaked our secret technology,
While he worked at the lab.
Did his friends go blab?
What a chink in our security.
--- Frank Petersohn

It was once held that spying was treason
And one could be shot for that reason.
Since the Rosenberg case,
We are in a new place;
Spying's O.K if onLee in season.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0011

The Department Of Energy sighed,
'Twas not upon race they relied
In fingering Lee,
An ethnic Chinee,
Who'd stolen some secrets and spied.
--- Matthew Montchalin

They asked of poor Notra Trulock,
"How many old secrets were stock?"
He squirmed and returned
That secrets were learned
Or passed with each tick of the clock.
--- Matthew Montchalin

But what about claims that he told
His flunkies that workers be polled?
"The Chinks you do first,
For they are the worst.
Their loyalties easily sold."
--- Matthew Montchalin

Said Vooman and Washington, too,
"This character Trulock is who
Examines your face
And looks at your race,
But otherwise hasn't a clue."
--- Matthew Montchalin

Defensively, Trulock explained,
That Chinks by themselves were to blame.
"Just those with those eyes;
They're probably spies.
I'd think they were Red-Army trained."
--- Matthew Montchalin

Bill Clinton's barely escaped the clink.
He's not too remorseful I think.
Joking about Los Alamos
Where secrets did vamanos,
"In national security, there's a chink."
--- Tom Simon