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Ther once was a spaceman named Spock. When Spock, the unflappable Vulcan, On a planet named Betelgeuse IV "I'm so happy and gay to play Kirk," A beam -- Down come Kirk and old Spock; "Now Spock," says Kirk, "Chill out, hang loose. "Now druid, we've been out of luck; So druid Alf starts on his sales He delves in his robe for to show it, The whip-poor-will sings for his lass; Thus Spock and Kirk trudge through the gloom, And now in suspense I will keep A sign reads "The Sisters of Percy". There's no time to stand round and mope. The moral of this tale, my dears -- "Oh hell!" says Spock. "Why is it that, The Enterprise girls, so one hears, There once was a Vulcan named Spock The ears that adorned Mr Spock The ears were a cunning disguise And boy, when he wiggled them ears, Uhuru looked at Mr. Spock Harry Mudd had brought three sexy lasses. There once was a Commander named Spock A dazzling princess Amanda, Said Han Solo to his friend Chewbacca, An alien Jedi named Rhoda Darth Vader can kill his detractors, A sextet of nymphs and a satyr That horny old Jedi, Darth Vader, The Cyborgian villain, Darth Vader, So Darth Vaader is Luke Skywalker's Dad, To our horror, the Death Star erases Every item displayed will be sold: At a posh, premiere showing of "Star Wars", Star Wars happened a long way away, While meeting my good friend Han Solo, There once was a young man named Han, Jabba the Hutt had a thing Where was he hiding his thing? "The Falcon" is in for repair; A Wookie who lived in a spoor pit I greatly fear for the safety Han wanted to pay Leia a buck. Since Starwars has again started showin', Suspecting it wasn't germaine, In jodhpurs she ran 'round the course There once was a man named Luke; Luke met him in Degobaw, He taught Luke about the force, Jedi Knigh he was destined to be, The spy who came in was a mole. A government agent named Peek A CIA spook name of Luke, There are several old agents who boast Baby Doc, most observers surmise, Empress Catherine knew how to stall A young captive spy in Manila Through the front door came the foreign spy, They say that Mr Wen Ho Lee It was once held that spying was treason The Department Of Energy sighed, They asked of poor Notra Trulock, But what about claims that he told Said Vooman and Washington, too, Defensively, Trulock explained, Bill Clinton's barely escaped the clink.
Who had a huge Vulcanized cock.
A girl from Missouri
Whose name was Uhuru
Just fainted away from the shock.
--- G2616*
Gets his seven year itch, he starts sulkin'.
When his girl comes in sight,
They will mate day and night,
To the point where he can't get his bulk in.
--- Actaeon
Mr. Spock ass-melds Ursa, the whore;
"Oh my," says the slut
While rubbing her butt,
"Only Chekhov has come there before!"
--- Mark Levy P0012
Says Bill Shatner, concealing a smirk;
"If you saw that huge cock
On my pal Mr. Spock,
You would know why he drives me berserk!"
--- Mark Levy P0012
They find themselves out on a rock,
Confronting a druid:
"Welcome to Clwyd,"
He says. Then to Spock: "What's up, doc?"
--- Anon
You're thinking of that Doctor Seuss.
Doc Spock was a phoney,
Talked utter baloney,
On how to bring up a papoose."
--- Anon
Been light-years without a good fuck.
Nowt but a young houri
On Alpha Centauri,
And a fat Betelgeusian duck."
--- Anon
Talk: "This thing here never fails,
I got it mail or-
Der from Ogg's hardware store,
Attracts girls from all over Wales."
--- Anon
A whistle-type thing. "You just blow it,
And girls will come visit."
Says Kirk: "Spock, what is it?"
"A fife, Jim, but not as we know it."
--- Anon
The shades of the night now fall fast...
Or as poets say
In their flowery way:
'Tis dark as a coal miner's ass.
--- Anon
A dwelling they spy, none too soon.
A toot on the flute
Makes a hoot like a coot,
And there, in the light of the moon...
--- Anon
You, while my poor brainwaves can creep,
To bring the denoue-
ment, (As yet I've no clue,)
A fair bet though, that it involves sheep.
--- Anon
Spock cries "Kirk, we got to reverse!" He
Runs, but too late...
We all know his fate...
"It's Sister Christina. Cry Mercy!"
--- Anon
Kirk thinks, gee, we've only one hope.
Grabs Spock by the ears,
Despite Chrissie's jeers,
Screams "Beam us up Spotty, you dope!"
--- Anon
Don't let it fall on deaf spock-ears --
Is don't flaunt your whistle,
Or mad Sister Chris'll
Soon have your manhood, I fears.
--- Anon
Wherever I go, there's some prat
Thinks me, with derision,
A pediatrician?
Who wrote 'bout the cat with a hat?"
--- Anon P0012
Have chased Spock for several years.
His look of disdain
Has spared them great pain,
For his prick is as sharp as his ears.
--- G2612
Whose dick was too large for his jock.
He, in front of the crew,
Gave Uhuru a screw,
And Kirk, the poor jerk, was in shock!
--- John Dohner P8901
Gave many a gal quite a shock;
Had they looked further down
They'd have seen half a pound...
Of prime Vulcan meat, hard as a rock.
--- Anon
And masked his enormous surprise
Before they could blink
He'd be into the pink,
And be pounding like mad, 'twixt their thighs.
--- Anon
The flood of emotion weren't tears.
His matter transferred,
He would flip them the bird.
Yes, old Spock was a man without peers.
--- Anon
And wondered of the cut of his cock.
She snuck to his room,
And there in the gloom
Was Sulu and Spock's cock in lip lock!
--- John Chastaine
Mr Spock, he was making no passes,
But when they were done talking,
And they they got to walking,
Captain Kirk cuaght Spock watching their asses.
--- Laura Goodwin
Who sounded so smooth when he'd talk.
From the very first day,
The fans would all say,
"That green-blooded Vulcan, we grok!"
--- Brian Prescott
Was screwed in the sky with Miranda.
She moaned, "Skywalker!
Jedi powers to cock her,
Can be used for us three on the veranda."
--- Anon
My dick's coverd up with your caca.
Next time use this tonic
For a cleansing colonic
You also should use some Binaca(TM).
--- Anon
Could turn a flat beer into soda.
She'd douche with a brew,
Cunt-fart CO2,
And sweeten it up with some Yoda.
--- H Welchel
Without weapons or hands being factors.
He just gives them "the eye"
And they gasp, choke, and die,
Displaying their talents as actors.
--- Larry Hollister
Were fucked half to death by Darth Vader.
Satisfied them of course,
Because he used the 'Force',
And a dick like a foot-long potater.
--- John Chastaine
Had foreskin as rough as a gator --
Princess Leia said "No,
That thing's got to go!"
The force was with him, so he ate her!
--- Anon
Dragged a girl to his cabin and laid her.
Then to finish his task,
Munched her muff with his mask,
Which made her considerably staider.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402
Of that I am sure he is glad.
Sister Leia's there too,
It's a family do,
And the force is strong with this lad.
--- Funny Bone
Leia's planet, without any traces.
Seeking out stolen plans
In their enemies hands,
They've been looking in Alderan places.
--- Larry Hollister
This is file bpl
The C-3PO plated with gold,
All the stormtrooper guns,
And the fake Leia buns;
It's an Empire of Bargains, all told.
--- David Morin
Two sharp valets opened two car doors,
And out stepped Obi Wan,
And Chewbacca and Han
With an entourage of toothless bar whores!
--- Trainman
Where spacemen and aliens play.
If they ever came near,
I very much fear
George Lucas would have hell to pay.
--- Tony Burrell
(He now drives a Volkswagen Polo)
I asked if he'd mind,
If we bump and grind,
But he just offered me his last Rolo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who dropped all his goods and then ran.
He got into a rut
With Jabba the Hut,
Who froze him in a Carbonite can.
--- Erin Weldon
So monstrous, he needed a sling.
The princess he poked
With both titties yoked,
And each of her buns on a spring.
--- H Welchel
I again looked for his ding-a-ling.
Oh, how could I fail
To think that his tail
Was all just for copulating.
--- Marlene Lewis
Chewbacca has shaved off his hair;
And Leia's a dike,
With a large motorbike.
Sometimes life is just so unfair.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would feed mutant Wampas on core grit.
And when one would fart,
He'd light its aft-part,
And see if it would attain orbit.
--- H Welchel
Of a Yoda that is latex-free.
The bare CGI (not a clue - McW)
May make Star Wars die
Of some terrible new STD!
--- Graham Lester
She said "No way you dumb cluck!"
"You want cheap nookie
Go talk to your wookie.
With me, You're shit out of luck!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Lucasfilms bottom line has been growin'.
Now, I may be amiss,
But my question is this:
Who's caring for poor Uncle Owen?
--- Trainman
The Wookie was shaved of its mane.
When off came the fluff,
It wasn't so tough;
'Twas only a rat on Rogaine.
--- Tubby Bubba
Attempting to capture her horse.
"How the hell can I jump
If I'm not on your rump?"
The whinny came back, "Use the force!"
--- Anon
With his father too, he did duke.
With the Emperor dead,
I saw Vader's head,
And the sight of it just made me puke.
--- Anon
The strangest thing I ever saw.
Wrinkled and green,
On a staff he did lean;
A teacher of universe law.
--- Gearhart
And how to tap this resource.
If he would but listen
And learn Yoda's wisdom,
He would have no room for remorse.
--- Gearhart
Though not one immediately.
He had to return
To Yoda to learn
To make sequels indefinitely.
--- Gearhart
To Congo his services sold.
The trend of this thought --
Came in from the hot
Six months and six months from the cold.
--- Irving Superior P8606
Used to transmit dispatches in Greek;
But he kept getting "typto"
Mixed up with "crypto,"
And caused a security leak.
--- Ray Wilbur P8512
Was chasing a kook with a nuke.
A miscalculation
Cause Luke's immolation
And also a gentle rebuke.
--- Ed Potts P8603
That in Washington spying at most
Requires few deceptions.
They attend all receptions
And simply subscribe to the Post.
--- A N Wilkins P8603
Gave the Tontons Macoute a surprise
By taking French leave.
Now there'll be, they perceive
Open season on government spies.
--- A N Wilkins P8603
Male spies and to have her a ball.
She'd take them to bed
And keep them, it's said,
Too busy to learn much at all.
--- A N Wilkins P8603
Is forced to screw wolf or gorilla;
Smirked his captors, "Gee Whiz,
The decision is his,
He's caught 'twixt Charybdis and Scylla."
--- Armand E Singer 459
To steal secrets -- as easy as pie.
The denial by China,
Would give one angina,
'Cause it's such a rotten damn lie.
--- Anon
Has leaked our secret technology,
While he worked at the lab.
Did his friends go blab?
What a chink in our security.
--- Frank Petersohn
And one could be shot for that reason.
Since the Rosenberg case,
We are in a new place;
Spying's O.K if onLee in season.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0011
'Twas not upon race they relied
In fingering Lee,
An ethnic Chinee,
Who'd stolen some secrets and spied.
--- Matthew Montchalin
"How many old secrets were stock?"
He squirmed and returned
That secrets were learned
Or passed with each tick of the clock.
--- Matthew Montchalin
His flunkies that workers be polled?
"The Chinks you do first,
For they are the worst.
Their loyalties easily sold."
--- Matthew Montchalin
"This character Trulock is who
Examines your face
And looks at your race,
But otherwise hasn't a clue."
--- Matthew Montchalin
That Chinks by themselves were to blame.
"Just those with those eyes;
They're probably spies.
I'd think they were Red-Army trained."
--- Matthew Montchalin
He's not too remorseful I think.
Joking about Los Alamos
Where secrets did vamanos,
"In national security, there's a chink."
--- Tom Simon
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