Till along came a man who presented
A tool that was strangely indented.
With a dizzying twirl
He punctured that girl,
And this was the cork-screw invented.
--- L0331

A flexible maiden from Thrace
Made use of her secret moist place...
She stood on her head,
Her legs widely spread,
And use her slim quim as a vase.
--- Ogni Gioia

The florists in nearby Corfu,
Sent hundreds of kind billets-doux.
They like it so much,
The labial touch,
As her maidenhair played peekaboo.
--- Ogni Gioia

A handsome young woman named Hannah,
Did wild wet things with a banana.
Her legs spread wide,
The banana inside,
And her audience shouting "Hosanna!"
--- Jarmo

There was a young whore of New York
Who put herself quite out of work,
When, disgruntled with men,
She cried "Never again!"
And bunged herself up with a cork.
--- Keith MacMillan 62a

Concerning the question of cunts,
You really must see Helen Hunt's.
With carrots and candles,
And hockey stick handles,
She does some remarkable stunts.
--- Michael Horgan

I thought that you already knew,
If Nanette you just happen to screw,
The wet leaves and damp grass
In the crack of her ass
Might cause her sweet crotch to mildew!
--- Bob Birch

There was a young lady of York,
Who plugged herself up with a cork.
She explained, "It's more svelte,
Than a chastity belt,
And is quickly removed with a fork.
--- Anon

There lives a young girl in New York,
Who is cautious, from fear of the stork.
You will find she is taped,
To prevent being raped,
And her asshole is plugged with a cork.
--- L0881

I know a young lady from Tring,
Who certainly knows how to swing.
She performs pagan rites
In open-crotch tights,
With a daffodil stuck up her thing.
--- Michael Horgan

A lecherous lady from Leeds
Has a new way to handle her needs:
She'll insert in her twat
A dried-up cumquat,
And tickle herself with the seeds.
--- Norm Storer

"I hate getting presents from Clyde,"
The brunette to the blonde would confide.
"When he brings me flowers
I have to spend hours
On my back, my legs open wide."
--- Anon

The blonde had a shocked look on her face,
while this echoed in her cranial space.
Finally she asked her,
"If that's such a disaster,
Why on earth don't you purchase a vase?"
--- Anon

At a party one evening in June
They were playing a game, Hide the Prune.
It was hidden by Claire
But nobody knew where,
Till her pussy was kissed by a coon.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0835

I once knew a girl, Marilynn
Who sealed her twat with a clothespin.
When asked what's that for,
She'd say closing the door
Prevents any pricks coming in.
--- Dirruk

In Idaho, Betty used taters,
Along with a fried green tomater,
To lure the farm hand;
Stuffed these in her gland;
It worked. So he up 'n he ate her.
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Greenwich
Who garnished her pussy with spinach,
And this cover of food
Was considered quite rude,
Since it made every one of her men itch.
--- Hugh Clary

A young council worker named Smith,
Ate a tangerine which had some pith.
He peeled it with a machete,
Gave some to Aunt Betty,
Who stuffed some of it up her quiff.
--- Anon

There is a sad Sue in New York
Who is hourly awaiting the stork...
She wishes to state
Than on her next date
She will definitely wear a tight cork!
--- Grand Prix Lim 55

There was a young man from Savannah
Who fucked a woman called Anna.
She rimmed her clit,
Like a banana split,
And filled her cunt with a banana
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young maid called Yvette,
Who was making a fine crepe suzette.
While chopping the fruit,
In her birthday suit,
'Tween her legs 'twas a long courgette!

(small fish-holding gourd)
--- Anon

There was a young lady called Bunty,
Who went for a ride in a punt. She
Got caught on the pole --
At the back -- her arsehole;
And then at the front on her cunty.
--- Anon

A horny young girl, Debbie King
Put carrots way up in her thing.
Then lettuce and cukes,
And tommy toes, too,
So her husband ate salad till spring!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Now some say this is quite kinky,
But there's a girl in East Helsinki
Who hides in her room,
(I don't know with whom)
And does a strange thing with a Twinkie.
--- Al Willis P9809a

A Yankee girl outside of Derry
Surprised me and offered her cherry.
The thing that I found
Did cause me astound;
In her crack was a huge dingleberry.
--- Irving Schlobotkovitz

They plied her with diamonds and rubies.
They longed to caress her fine boobies.
But she was quite pure;
Her manner demure,
And lichens grew out of her pubes.
--- Larry Davis P8601

The blonde gal was really a Tex;
She'd a rose that was really a hex.
She did have it stuck
In the place where you fuck,
But removed it before having sex.
--- Frank Fazed

The blonde girl from Texas would pose
Wearing naught but a big yellow rose.
When asked why this habit,
She replied, "Well dag-nabbit!
Because it's the state flower, I suppose."
--- MrMalo

There was a young girl of East Lynne,
Whose mother, to keep her from sin,
Had filled up her crack,
To the brim with shellac,
But the boys picked it out with a pin.
--- L0831

There was a young lady named Bruce,
Who captured her man by a ruse.
She fill up her fuselage
With a good grade of mucilage,
And he never could pry himself loose.
--- L1381

There was a young harlot named Roxie
Who filled up her box with epoxy.
She said, somewhat pensive,
"They'll find it expensive
To pay ransom to get back their jock, see."
--- Arthur Deex P9011a

I don't mean to sound quite so smutty,
But there once was a girl who was slutty.
So she wouldn't roam,
Her dad kept her at home,
And packed her vagina with putty.
--- Anon

This arts and crafts project is gookie;
The paste is just everywhere - lookie!
Cleaning glue off my blouse,
Wiped my chest; was aroused,
And my fingers got stuck to my chookie.
--- Anon

This is file bil

Young men pursued her with such haste,
That she filled her vagina with paste.
Her reasoning ran,
"I'll hold onto a man,
Or else I'd be better off chaste."
--- G1628

A young girl with a yearn to attach,
Put super-glue inside her snatch.
She baited men surly
But hadn't the 'girly'
To keep them long after the catch.
--- Alex Heydon P0407

A not-too-bright girl from Biloxi
Once douched with a tube of epoxy;
Frustrating the entry
Of neighborhood gentry
Who then used her rear as a proxy.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003A

In the end jealous Lou plain relented
And said, "Mary Jo can be rented."
Nail polish remove-
r soon freed up her groove,
But her insides by then had fermented.

A silly young woman named Sue
Has sealed up her fanny with glue.
This stops her, she says,
Having casual lays,
Which is vexing but probably true.
--- Michael Horgan

An excitable lady called Donner
Got wed to an expert embalmer.
He filled up her cracks
With resin and wax,
Attempting to soothe and to calm her.
--- Prof

There was a young lady of Crewe,
Whose cherry a chap had got through,
Which she told to her mother
Who fixed her another
Out of rubber and red ink and glue.
--- L0823

"Oh Doctor," cried Widow VanGelder,
"My pussy's too loose!" then she held her
Old legs wide apart.
Said the Doc, with a start,
"Go see my friend, Joe...he's a welder."
--- Travis Brasell

Reminds me of old Mrs Goole,
Though she was too tight, as a rule.
We'd open her up
Twice a week for a tup
With an oxyacetylene tool.
--- Peter Wilkins

What! Old Maggie Goole? That old hag?
The old iron foundryman's bag?
Her cunt had a stench,
Laid out on the bench;
She's that thing they call welding slag.
--- Tiddy Ogg

All tight-twatted gals in Australia
Get treatment from Doctor Mahalia,
Who stretches their cunts
With ropes, hooks and shunts,
And other great paraphernalia.
--- Travis Brasell

There once was a young girl from Nantucket,
Whose pussy was loose, so she stuck it
In Travis's vice,
(Thought a splice'd suffice)
But now she's glued shut -- he can't fuck it.
--- Nurse Doves z

A twat that's glued shut 'cause it's cheesy
Ain't never for me been that easy
To open , unless
A pry bar, with stress,
Is used and my hands ain't too greasy.
--- Travis Brasell

That harlot from Kew became stuck
To all who possessed the bad luck
Of poking their skewer
In her gluey sewer.
Ye gads! She's cohered for a buck!
--- Ran Dog Q

This story, folks, is also true
When Sunday I poked little Sue.
I stayed stuck in her twat
And the reason was that
The jizz hardened like superglue.
--- Dirruk

Joe went to the place she's indented
But found the spot tightly cemented.
Her former beau, Lou,
Used cyanate glue...
No doubt now both beaux are demented.
--- John Miller

The girl, Mary Jo, once lamented,
"I wish Superglue wasn't invented.
It wouldn't be needed,
If Lou had just heeded
My urgin's and kept me contented."
--- John Miller

Post-treatment, Lou sadly repented;
How his hold on his girl he'd augmented:
"When you got a ho
Like my Mary Jo,
Her wanderin's can't be prevented."
--- John Miller

In the end jealous Lou plain relented
And said, "Mary Jo can be rented."
Nail polish remover
Soon freed up her groove. Her
Insides by then had fermented.
--- John Miller

A virgin outside Waterloo
Was determined to stay that way too.
She armored her tail
With a sixteen inch nail
And sealed her vagina with glue.
--- Hugh Oliver 66b

While we're on the topic and talking,
There's the woman who had trouble walking.
You could tell by her stride
She had something inside;
No doubt the remains of her caulking.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named Scott
Who failed to get in his girl's slot.
So he said to her, "Dear,
Let's try one in your ear,
For there's far too much wax in your twat."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0754

There once was a woman named Lu
Who filled her vagina with glue;
It rendered her cunt
An impossible stunt,
As it left her unable to screw.
--- Cap'n Bean P0011

I'm not sure if this is a come hole;
It might be the young ladies' bung hole.
I'll take a chance
And put in my lance.
Hey hey hey, it sure is a fun hole.
--- Anon

It isn't exactly a chasm,
But a site for a sensuous spasm:
If you want to be blunt,
You can call it a cunt;
Ain't it lucky that all the gals has'm!
--- Norm Storer P0410

There was a young lady named Willet
Whose cunt was as big as a skillet.
It took four pounds of ham,
And a large leg of lamb,
And a length of baloney to fill it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0780

If her bod makes you hot when you clock it,
And your pulse rate goes up like a rocket,
Then love's spark has hit
And you just want to fit
Your plug in her favourite socket.
--- SFA

With his finger, the able instructor
Directed a maid to conduct her
To arrive home direct,
But the route was suspect,
For the finger was fickle and fucked her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0213

Monica's nice bearded clam
Got itself into one nasty jam.
While sitting at dinner
Guess what fell in her?
My fingers and a chunk of spam.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A busy street walker, forgive her,
Whose body was found by the river.
The autopsy revealed
Her pussy was sealed,
By a callous the size of her liver.
--- Tom Patton P9806a

The lady contortionist died
When one day she foolishly tried
A difficult stunt
With her head up her cunt,
And her nose caught on something inside.
--- Anon

Since men all complained that they swam in her,
A girl asked the doc to examine her.
So he fucked her that night
But he found she was tight
For the butcher had left a prime ham in her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0626

There was a young hooker named Sue,
Who could shoot out some two cups of goo.
She could douche herself out
With an old fire truck spout,
And the chunks that came out, looked like stew.
--- Anthony Rose