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Three ladies out shopping, named Babbs, A brilliant young girl from Ann Arbor There was an old man with a beard, The crabs that so irritate me, I used to go fishing with Babs, From the shade of two mountainous balls A footnote from Public Health Labs A sea-faring lady called Babs My girlfriend has lice in her hair, There was a fishmonger named Babs, Here's a sure fire way that can't miss. There was an old woman of Reading, Two sisters infested with crabs, An old whore who worked Sante Fe Said a very sad sack named McNabs, This nasty young gal wasn't "nice" A fellow once rummaged within A Parisian harlot named Grace Said the Duke to the Duchess of Lottom, There was an old man from Cape Verde A doctor who charged a high price A TV physician named Rice My young girlfriend has beautiful abs, There was a young girl named McMitchin, There was a young lady of Stottam, There was a young lady named Lee, "Although I'm not rich," said Miss Lowell, There was an old harlot from Banff, My Daddy said Lisa's not nice, A magnifier Mary would use, Said the whore to her john, "I've protested; There was a queer fellow named Rice The guy with the girl from Dalhousie In church, a pedicular dastard There was a young lady of Michigan, There once was a man we called Decker There was an old lady named Kay There was a young lady named Lorna (eremites - type of Christian hermits)
The problem with hippy hair pits There was a young man from St Kitts, Poor Melanie, trusting and sweet, Madam blamed their new bug on McAdam, There was a young lady from France A frantic young filly named Fitch The "Muscle Beach" star sits and dabs A young fellow was being atrocious, In all Deutschland there weren't many drabs The movie or project "Blair Witch" A hermit who had an oasis, Since Joe's date was seductively shaped, I won't screw Juanita von Twitchell; Hair is thin near a high-traffic place; All you amorous ladies from Venus There was a sad damsel named Mitchener, I tried for some sex in the sand; A crab working hookers in Natchez, The crab leads a life full of catches, The poor little crab when he hatches Fido's coat was infested with fleas. As he fucked the lewd bitch in a ditch, For a walk in the park went Miss Minter; Said an itchy young squaw of Wenatchee: There was a young lady named Nance, A brothel, a couple of stabs, The best cure for crabs, Doctor Klatch, Last time I went to see Babs, There was a lesbian named Elise,
Were screwed coming home in their cabs.
One came home with hams,
The second with clams,
And the third one came home with the crabs!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1700
Strange to say, went at night to her barber.
There with tweezers and comb
And much sweat on his dome,
He chased crabs in the hair 'round her harbor.
--- G1897
Remembering his fling with young Deird.
"I should have just fucked her,
But firstly I sucked her;
My beard's now got crabs as I feared!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
I got in sex-congress with Bee.
So I paid for the tail
That I got from that frail,
With the crotch-pheasants thrown in for free.
--- G1937
A-hunting for flounders and dabs;
We caught us no fishes,
But Babs was delicious,
And all that I caught were the crabs.
--- Anon
A crab to its mate softly calls,
And cautions, "My love,
Watch out when they shove,
For a death, drowned in cuntjuice, appalls."
--- G1898
Explaining how people get crabs--
THE CRABS DORMANT LIE
Till pubic they spy
THEN QUICKLY THEY'RE ALL UP FOR GRABS.
--- Irving Superior P9403
Went fishin for whitebait and dabs.
But when the gales blew,
She got drunk with the crew,
And all that she caught were some crabs.
--- Chris Young
In her armpits and even 'down there'.
They come in three kinds,
So one sometimes finds
You can have the damned things everywhere.
--- John Miller 0126
Who sold cod, skate, place and sand dabs.
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD,
And now she's a purveyor of crabs.
--- Anon
The way to kill vermin is this:
Forget Vaseline,
Drink raw gasoline,
And attack with some flame-throwing piss!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who said, "The infection is spreading."
She pondered a bit,
Then reached for the Flit,
And sprayed it all over the bedding.
--- Anon
Resorted to pokes and to jabs,
When the elder related
She felt obligated
To collect the small lice for the labs.
--- Buckaroo
Was know as a luscious hot lay.
But the bugs in her twitchet
Forced her always to itch it,
And frightened her clients away.
--- Ray A Billington P9901
"Thanks to cat houses and their low drabs,
That I spent dough to poke,
Now today I'm flat broke,
With naught to show for it but crabs."
--- Grand Prix Lim 183
And was fully infested with lice.
She picked at the scabs
Made from scratching her crabs,
And it stung so, she had to use ice.
--- Anon
A gal who was ugly as sin.
In spite of his jabs,
She still gave him crabs;
Nine inches reduced to a pin.
--- Anon
Detested the Teutonic race.
For when the army of Germany
Made her all verminy,
The gendarmes shut down her place.
--- G1799
Who had crabs, but couldn't say where she got 'em.
"My dear, you're too generous
With your mons veneris,
And equally so with your bottom."
--- G1932
Who befriended a refugee Kurd.
"Get rid of your lice
Is my best advice,
And for hunger your belt you should gird."
--- Harry Rubin P9212
Discovered what looked like small rice;
He said, "Fancy that,
This young virgin twat
Is loaded with crawling head lice."
--- Mark Levy P9402a
Was asked how to treat pubic lice.
He said, "Use a hammer,
Pay no heed to the clamor,
Be sure that you smack them all twice."
--- Armand E Singer 473
And her ass has endured many grabs.
Her tits are just fine
(I'd rate her a nine);
But, darn, how I hate those damn crabs.
--- Mark Levy P9611
Who was scratching her snatch in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
It's crabs, I suppose?"
Rose said, "Yes, and, by Jesus, they're itchin'."
--- L1102
Who itched and she scratched at her bottom.
She said, "As I feared,
He had crabs in his beard;
This must be the reason I caught 'em."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1746
Whose favors were frequent and free.
And pants-pigeons flew
Where her goose-berries grew,
And some of them flew onto me.
--- L1107
"One gift is within my bestowal:
A kick in the rear
Every day for a year,
For the bugs some slob left in my hole.
--- G1933
Whose panties were often times dampf.
She'd stand on her head
With her inner lips spread,
And wait for the crabs to decampf.
--- Rick Miles
And he said this to me more than twice.
"Lisa's a bitch
And she'll make you itch.
She infested me with pubic lice!"
--- Anon
Whenever a new boy she'd choose.
Habit METICULOUS,
Wasn't rediculous,
Avoiding those itchy crab blues.
--- Chris Papa
Cleaner men, who my snatch have requested.
The reason, you see,
Is to stay insect free.
I lose sales if with crabs I'm infested."
--- Thomas G Keller P9402
Whose sex life was colder than ice.
But a kindly relation
Restored his sensation,
By covering his penis with lice.
--- L1526
Suceeded in making her drowsy --
But he speedily found,
Long before she came 'round,
That her center of interest was lousy.
--- Keith MacMillan 26b
This is file bbm
Sat squirming, pruritus unmastered.
While his parents got hitched,
He just scratched where he itched--
Thus defining a real lousy bastard.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9402
Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again."
Said her mother, "That's strange,
I'm surprised it ain't mange,
If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again."
--- L1109N
Whose nose was as long as his pecker.
His girlfriend named Babs
Didn't mind 'bout his crabs,
'Cause his schnoz surely wouldn't infect her!
--- Anon
Who bragged, in her off-handed way:
There was life where she peed,
And the doctor agreed.
He gave her a bug-killing spray.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1726a
Whose mother neglected to warn her,
Till some uncleanly eremites,
Infested with termites,
Corroded her flora with fauna.
--- G1931
Is the way they all tangled up gets,
Till they resemble felt
That ain't fit to be smelt,
And is usually infested with nits.
--- Larry
With an itch that was giving him fits.
It seems that a peach
He picked up on the beach
Had left his bed full of strange nits.
--- John Ciardi
Knows her doctor would never mistreat
Her. "Your minge has no crabs
On account of these jabs",
Says her doctor (while beating his meat).
--- Anon
Who, in a wild rage, hollered, "Madam,
You have dozens of lugs
Who bring you their bugs,
But I'm not the bugger who had 'em!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 244
Who found twenty-nine bugs in her pants.
She asked, "Am I dirty?
I'm sure there were thirty;
Can one have crawled up, by mischance?"
--- G1916
Cried, "That last fucking sonofabitch
Must have give me his bugs;
From my snatch to my dugs,
I am simply one great flaming itch!"
--- G1914
Gentian violet all over her scabs.
Sighs Annette Funicello
As she checks her pubello,
"Thank heavens they're only sand crabs!"
--- Arthur Deex P8203
To the point of becoming ferocious,
Which eventually led
Shrinks to study his head.
Their exam revealed pediculosis.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9402
Who put out a lay good as Bab's.
But then in some measure
You paid for the pleasure.
Her pubes were all full of crabs.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
Will scare all who are poor or rich;
But what is most scary,
(No, it's not Hugh Clary!)
Is having a pubic hair itch!
--- Anon
Thought it the very best of places.
He could pray and be calm,
'Neath a pleasant date-palm,
While the lice on his balls ran races.
--- L1500
He proceeded to get her undraped.
As they climbed in the sack,
He saw moles on her back,
But they ran down her legs and escaped.
--- Don Moore P9402a
I'm scared that the crabs in her niche'll
Bite lumps from my dick;
Breadcrumb them real quick,
And serve them as fresh wiener-schnitzl.
--- Anon
If it's patchy, there's critturs to chase;
If it isn't some yeast
That's escaped from the Beast,
Apply Rogaine, plus Raid, just in case!
--- Anon
You really don't know what obscene is.
It's when lovers most hunt
For the crabs 'round your cunt,
Before risking inserting a penis
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0305
Who cried when her thing began itchiner.
For she'd picked up a bug
For some unwholesome lug,
Which she gave to the next sonofabitchiner.
--- Grand Prix Lim 676 G1940
It was more than I found I could stand.
While she was hot,
All that I got,
Was crabs, the size of my hand.
--- Arden a
Takes refuge, when one of them scratches,
In her nook for a nap,
For the shrewed little chap
Finds he's safest when sleeping in snatches.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Regardless to whom it attaches,
For it's ducking and darts,
Between fucking and farts,
Half its time is spent sleeping in snatches.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9402a
Will be lucky to find hair in patches.
Then he hollers, "Doggone ya,
I am plagued with insommnia,
For I find that I'm sleeping in snatches!"
--- Albin Chaplin P9206a
Some jumped way down his mistress' chemise.
"Oh dear, how I itch!
These fleas are a bitch!
Someone help me to do a striptease!"
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9402
He said, "Something keeps making me itch.
So you either have crabs
Or venereal scabs,
But I won't take time now to see which."
--- G1909
A man had the thought to imprint her.
On this fine day in fall,
She was fucked near the wall,
But she showed him where crabs spend the winter.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1732
"You sexum me--no chief can matchee.
Me feelum bad--ugh!
You givum squaw bug?
Alla time me feel itchy, me scratchee."
--- Grand Prix Lim 873 G1963
Who had ants in the seat of her pants.
And when they bit her bottom,
She yelled, "Jesus, God rot 'em!
I can't do the St. Vitus dance."
--- L1111
Then throwing up in Yellow Cabs.
I thought I was done,
That I'd had my fun,
But the stars of the night were the crabs.
--- Anon
Assuming you've started from scratch --
Then tweezers, then razor,
Then crowbar, then laser --
A string and a mirror attach.
--- Irving Superior P8305
I hoped for a good fuck perhaps.
Once there, changed my thinking;
The fat whore was stinking,
And her puss was infested with crabs.
--- Anon
Whose pubic hair hung to her knees.
So the crabs got together
And knitted a sweater,
So in winter, they wouldn't freeze.
--- Anon
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