There was an old witch, name of Jessie,
Whose crotch was all smelly and messy.
She enjoyed a good squirm
With an alien worm,
And got staining all over her dressy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Beware the green man from Mars.
He picks up Earth girls in bars.
At first they are tickled,
But later he's pickled
Their pussies and packed them in jars.
--- Tom Patton P9606

Their fifty pricks, flaccid and loose,
Are vestigal and without use.
Considered great beauties,
They love to make tooties
From skin-glands that sound like a goose.
--- Anon

She got bored with her own masturbation,
'Cause she was a nuclear mutation.
And she had five cunts,
But did six guys at once,
'Cause her mouth was an extra fuck station.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A flying saucer which travelled through space
Carried Schmeds (that's an alien race).
When it landed, one Schmed
Stuck out his heads and said,
"Earthling, take me to Linda Lovelace."
--- Michael Weinstein P8606

On Venus, where love's an addiction,
An orgasm's brought on by friction
Of toes against toes,
Or nose against nose,
And that's what I call science fiction.
--- Isaac Asimov

On the innermost Saturnian ring
I found me a very good thing:
She had two good cunts,
And knew many stunts--
For instance, with one she could sing!
--- G2641

There was a green blob from Venus
Who's body resembled a penis.
It was thirty inches long,
And could be off of King Kong,
But it looked like it'd gone gangrenous.
--- Funny Bone

A half-male descendant of Thaurus
Met women who shouted, "Don't bore us,
It's bullshit to say
That you master a lay
When you never can manage to floor us."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9102

An unfortunate space creature named Tapp
Has a horrible case of the clap.
His tentacles itch,
His antenna twitch,
And he flips where he should flap.
--- M B Spitzler P8308

Mercurians, female and male,
Whenever they tear off some tail,
Do all of their lovin'
Inside an oven,
And think of us Earthlings as frail.
--- Brian W Aldiss G2627

I once met this little green man,
Who did this weird thing with his hand
Up my girlfriend's dress.
He screamed "What a mess.
Need acid to get this off my hand!"
--- Andrew TP9804

The Flying Men coming from Jupiter
Have sexual habits far stupider
Than ours when we're shady:
Their way with a lady
Is nothing but looping-the-loopiter.
--- G2606

A girl from the twin suns of Xentacles
Was attacked by a thing with six tentacles.
It was big as a moose
But she promptly got loose
By kicking it right in the gentacles.
--- G2653

Said the Alien, "This is goodbye!"
And it left without telling me why.
But "It" was a "her"
And there's lavender fur
Caught up in the teeth of my fly.
--- John Miller 0353

Our ambassador to Venus, Ms. Abner,
Hoped the lesbian Veenies would be havin' her.
But to her surprise
They crossed all six thighs,
While the masculine Weenies were grabbin' her.
--- G2565

The was an alien from Mars
Who loved to try on ladies bras.
It was a fetish he had
Since he was a wee lad,
And he liked to hang round in gay bars.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Well, I'm from the planet Zanussi;
I left there 'cause the girls were too choosy.
But down here on Earth,
Of girls there's no dearth,
Who never refuse juicy pussy.
--- Anon

There was a young girl from Barsoom
Who took a Thark up to her room.
He was three times her size,
And proportioned likewise,
But in no time she lowered his boom.
--- G2573

The woman who lives on the moon,
Is still cherishing the balloon
Of an earthling who'd come,
And given her some,
But had dribbled away all too soon.
--- L0325

There was a young lady of Thune,
Who was blocked by the man in the Moon.
"Well, it has been great fun,"
She remarked when he'd done,
"But I'm sorry you came quite so soon."
--- Norman Douglas L0338

There was a young lady from Venus,
Who came here to find her a penis.
She's tired of fusion
With the male Venutian'
Who's not one to care about cleanness.
--- MrMalo

The sex-maddened native of Mars
Don't make out with women in cars.
Instead, it's their custom
To rush in and bust 'em
On the floors of cafes and in bars.
--- G2628

The lecherous men of Altair
Fuck sitting upright in a chair.
So when you are seated
And joyously greeted--
Beware, Earth woman, beware!
--- G2569

The Mercurian male, although elfin,
Is unable to thrust all himself in
Throughout the hot season
For one private reason--
A cunt at 2000 degrees Kelvin.
--- G2584

I like a trans-stellar hedgehop.
My spaceship is still in the shop.
But soon I'll get weird
With twats multi-tiered,
And pricks grown in vats by the crop.
--- H Welchel

A horny misguided Westphalian
Once tried to make love to an alien.
It said, "Dude, I can't hear,
Get that out of my ear;
Use my nose if you're Q'xxr or mammalian.
--- John Miller

The ladies inhabiting Venus
Have signaled us saying they've seen us.
They add, "There's a yen here
For getting some men here --
And nothing but space is between us."
--- P8211V

There once was a fellow from Venus,
Whose head had the shape of a penis.
Said he, "If you please,
Since they don't help me breathe,
No condoms should come in between us.

A Jovian harlot named Dalve
Would smear her thorax with salve,
Then sit on the bed
And pull in her head
And offer her pectoral valve.
--- S Dale P8211

The Plutonian male is so small,
He lives in the vaginal wall
Of his mate. Yes, 'tis so! (He dreams of seductions)
But he likes it, you know, (Wild rapes and abductions)

(Much like you and me, after all.)
--- G2595

There once was a lady from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a penis;
The elephants thrilled
To the way that she drilled
Them and paid her with packets of peanuts.
--- Anon

When a spaceship crashed in Decatur,
An alien crawled out of the crater,
Saying, "Let us adjourn,
Take me to the intern,
I'll go to see your leader later!"
--- Observer TP9901a

This is file bal

There was a young man from Venus,
With a most unusual penis.
It was green and strong,
And seventeen feet long,
And the way that he used it was heinous.
--- Anon V

There once was a woman from Venus,
Whose body was shaped like a penis.
On a dark winters night,
She'll give us a fright,
She'll shag us as soon as she's seen us.
--- Jim Weaver Collection V

A nympho named Pussy McManus
Had a very good time on Uranus.
The native male's dong
Is exceedingly long,
So she took them by way of her anus.
--- G2626

There was a young spaceman from Venus,
Who had a prodigious penis.
Cried his girl friend, "Alas!
It just came out my ass,
And there's still fifteen inches between us."
--- G2650V

There once was a Duchess of York,
Who liked to get off with a fork.
She'd fork every day,
In her hot Duchess way,
Until she discovered the spork.
--- Anon

In life, Isaac often would say,
That fine limericks are ribald and gay.
So when chasing ET's,
At least pause, please, and tease,
Sexy aliens who happen your way.
--- Nanette Asimov (niece)

A strangely perverted old alien,
Made love to a pretty Westphalian,
Who remarked, "Boy, that's neat!
With two tongues on your meat,
You're more fun than an outback Australian."
--- John Miller

This man who got off of a rocket,
Carried eyeballs around in his pocket.
You wouldn't believe
What he had up his sleeve,
Or where he concealed its socket.
--- ML

Two monsters who haled from Uranus
Preferred to fuck each other's anus.
They said, "Earth girls are cute,
And they're willing, to boot,
But they're not deep enough to contain us.
--- G2648

I remember a time back on Venus
When a Venusian grabbed hold of my penis.
She gave it a twist
With a flick of her wrist,
And said, "Now let's get it between us!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8203V

Under Venus's blanket of cloud
That hides it from Earth like a shroud,
Winged people cavort
In sexual sport
By methods of which they are proud.
--- G2580

The alien has dicks in his thumbs,
Which he puts in her ears when he comes.
He keeps them retracted
For foreplay protracted,
And sure gets a buzz when she hums.
--- John Miller

The alien's eyes are on stalks,
Which jiggle and dance when he talks.
He loves to give kisses
With the part where he pisses,
And leaves a slime trail where he walks.
--- John Miller

The female has tits on the tips
Of her tentacles, slender as whips.
When she wants to be kind,
Slips them in behind,
Where the male drinks in small dainty sips.
--- John Miller

When the best mating rituals are staged,
You might think they were truly enraged.
But when she sticks her toes
All the way up his nose,
It's a sure sign they're almost engaged.
--- John Miller

Some aliens abducted me;
They claim they just wanted to see
How my fingers work.
I just missed the smirk.
I'd know not that's where their mouth would be.
--- Marlene

They don't know my anatomy;
That bit's not my finger, you see.
Those things are my toes;
Wait! That is my nose!
My body won't bend in a C.
--- Marlene

Please don't put that thing in my ear.
I know I did not volunteer
To be tied in a knot
By some little snot
Who can't get his spaceship in gear.
--- Marlene

You wait for the climactic ends;
You are disappointed, my friends!
I've no more to say
Re: Alien Way,
Or how it was I got the bends.
--- Marlene

But little green men are the best;
They're screwier than all the rest.
They will last all night
If you treat them right,
And feed them with gas that's high test.
--- Marlene

I hope they weren't Hiftlorss, Marlene.
(They've got fifty dicks, but not green.)
If they're who you've met,
I think you'll regret
The pain, as through space you careen.
--- Marlene

There once was a lad name of Nigel,
Seduced by an alien from Rigel.
To sounds of great mirth,
He later gave birth
To a seven pound tube of KY-gel.
--- Nigel Pendall a

Seven pounds? Wow, that must've hurt.
Next time ignore the alien flirt!
But look on the bright side --
You'll be able to slide
Anywhere, with just one little squirt!
--- Kaylin Brandon

This week I am seeking a crew
To blast off and find something new.
Perhaps you could steer
Or just volunteer
To mop up the semen and spew.
--- H Welchel

I am not nearly up to your standard;
I've only just got my new lander.
The crew is a penis
Who claims she's from venus;
We're going out to philander.
--- Karen

We'll drop by and leave you some parts;
If you need gas, we'll save you our farts.
We both are real bitchin'
And good in the kitchen.
Save me some spew, I'll make tarts.
--- Karen

Before we could vacuum or clean,
A glitch in our g-force machine
Allowed it to float.
We manned the life-boat.
(Ay! Sticky globs elephantine!)
--- H Welchel

We purged the whole ship my remotes.
Lo, into orbit it floats!
Along with some grommets,
Spew froze into comets
Whose beauty our tour board promotes.
--- TuttaGioia

I won't write about aliens again.
I forgot H has the amen.
On alien guys
He is awful wise.
Do you think he is one of them?
--- Marlene

Marlene, though I'm not of this realm,
I don't have the space limerick helm!
My special effects?
Just farting and sex.
(And dicks that are large as an elm).
--- H Welchel

Ask and you will get lims
About aliens out on the rims
Of this well know space
Or some other place.
(I guess they are better than hymns.)
--- Marlene

I chat with John Carter of Mars
While heading outward to the stars.
He know about Tharks
(Their amorous larks).
He shares secrets re Thark boudoirs.
--- Marlene

Because of their size (and they're green),
The rumors contend they are mean.
Don't listen to gossip,
Do Mars on a field trip;
They are the best guys I have seen!
--- Marlene