A lady who thought sex a treat,
Thought a gang-bang would make life complete.
Fifteen men and a dog
All went the whole hog.
She now leaves a snail-trail on the street.
--- Stephen Cordwell

Phyllis, a cheap legless whore
Charges five bucks -- nothing more.
But you'll find the next day,
That you can't wash away
The crusty snail-trails on the floor.
--- Captain Infinity

A forgetful young woman named Dee,
Saw gelatinous globs in her pee.
She started to squirm
Then remembered his worm.
"Oh yes, he was coming in me!"
--- Tom Simon

Here's to the girl from Chester,
Who said to the guy who undressed her,
"I think you will find
You should lick my behind,
'Cause my pussy is starting to fester."
--- L1087

An amorous lady named Clair
Said, "Please don't touch me down there.
It makes me feel icky,
And gooey and sticky,
And sometimes I stick to my chair"
--- Anon

There once was a whore from Dublin,
Who discovered somethin' very troublin'.
She'd caught a disease
Which looked like string cheese,
And out of her cunt it was bubblin!
--- Anon

When Mabel the waitress starts stripping,
It means that her pussy is dripping;
When naked she'll offer
Her diners a boff or
Her pussy for potato chip dipping.
--- Peter Wilkins

When choosing her lovers, Juanita
Was always, it's said, not too neata.
"I likes'm all rough
And dirty and tough,
'Cause that's when I get my Velveeta!"
--- Anon

I once knew a girl that was Greek;
With a gynecologist she needed to speak.
For out of her spout
Velveeta dripped out,
Whenever she would take a leak.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I once knew a girl named Francine,
Whose twat was all slimy and green.
When she offered a poke,
I replied "What a joke!
I shudder to think where you've been!"
--- CyberCelt

Said a man to a harlot, "I wish you
Would wipe off your cunt with this tissue."
But her pussy still leaked
And she said, somewhat piqued,
"Please do not make a point of the issue."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1749

The girls on the island of Herm
Have tits that are lovely and firm.
But nothing's as fine as
Their juicy vaginas,
All dripping with freshly shot sperm.
--- Michael Horgan

My fears aren't of man nor of beast,
Nor anthrax, to say in the least;
But I'm paranoid
Of Peggy Sue Boyd
Whose pussy is frothing with yeast.
--- Travis Brasell

A hooker with snatchy disease,
Still made lots of money with ease.
The infection of yeast,
Didn't stop her the least;
She offered men wine with her cheese.
--- Anon

There once was a girl named East,
Whose crack was brimming with yeast.
The fungus she'd take
And some bread she would bake;
Forty or fifty loaves, at least.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young lass from the city,
Who liked to show off her big titties.
As her panties came down,
She was met with a frown,
For her snatch was all covered with zitties.
--- Anon

I've given my neighbour, Miss Dot,
Your e-mail address for she's hot
To meet you tonight,
In the hope that you might
Start exploring her cavernous twat.
--- Anon

I hear that her pussy-lips stick
Together when given a lick;
Her cheesy-green goo
Is a glutinous glue,
And is highly infectious to dick.
--- Anon

She farts if you finger her twat,
Like cabbages starting to rot.
A terrible pong,
But she longs for your dong;
Will you give her, dear Sir, all you've got?
--- Anon

I'm working with greatest dispatch
To schedule a time for Dot's snatch.
My next open date?
What is this? Wait!
Oh no! I've a late flight to catch.
--- Anon

While eating her snatch, I was flustered,
When she farted a brownish white custard.
Then she asked me to felch
And I did, with a belch;
Though, in truth, I was slightly disgustard.
--- Hugh Clary

The oozing and milky white goo
That roiled from her pink little coo
Gave cause for alarm.
"'Twill do ye no harm;
'Tis only monilia dew."
--- Anon

Well, the next time instead of pursuing
A meal that you'll end up eschewing,
Remember this fact:
The snatch eating act
Requires swallowing after much chewing.
--- Travis Brasell

Penelope, ravaged by gravity,
And decades of filthy depravity,
Has pussy-lips floppy,
Bedraggled and sloppy
With ooze from her cavernous cavity.
--- Peter Wilkins

But that's not the worst part, alas,
From behind that beldame is all ass.
Down saggy cheeks, geen ooze
That flowed out of her cooze,
Drips into her high heels. What a lass!
--- Ward Hardman

A girl who was dribbling pus,
Bought a Tampax, the whimpering wuss.
If she'd saved all that juice
Sure she'd find a good use
In the kitchen, so why all the fuss?
--- Anon

Oh wow, now you're making me ravenous,
And I'm dreaming the time we'll be havin' us,
When the tampax is bloated
And with crust it is coated:
With luck, it will even be gangrenous!
--- Anon

I need some relief from this heat;
I'm wet from my head to my feet.
With temps still soaring,
The sweat is pouring,
Right into my pretty pink meat.
--- Anon

When the weather is hot and it's sticky;
That's no time to be dunkin' a dicky;
But I've got some ice cubes;
To slide over your pubes;
With my tongue doin' somethin' quite tricky!
--- Anon

So I get every last drop of goo,
With my mouth closed I promise I'll chew.
Then after the slurps,
Some satisfied burps,
Before flossing my teeth with sinew.
--- Anon

Whilst we're on the subject of Wales,
(Where sheep-shagging often prevails),
Can you think up a joke
'Bout a farmer named Groat,
Whose farm contains nothing but snails?
--- Tim Ruddell

Groat once farmed pigeons and quail,
But switched from the bird to the snail.
His wife loved the ooze
To smear on her cooze --
The better Groats nail to impale.
--- H Welchel

A chancre-pocked bedridden whore
Developed a putrid cunt-sore.
Her sheets and her cooze
Got crispy with ooze,
And stalagmites formed on the floor.
--- H Welchel TP9901a

This is file ayl

This whore, the personification
Of gut-wrenching putrification,
Ballooned twice her size
Right before our eyes.
We watched all with rapt fascination.
--- Frank Fazed

But when that huge bubble of gas
Erupted with rumblings first class,
In a flow pyroclastic,
Juices, colon and gastric,
Made a blast even H can't surpass.
--- H Welchel

Humbled, H went on a fast,
Eschewing those moments he gassed
Like fuel-air explosions.
Retired from these notions,
His ass smelled like roses at last.
--- H Welchel

But after shave? That's a strange thing.
Its praises some folk often sing.
But when I shave Erm,
And apply it, she'll squirm,
And claims that it makes her cunt sting.
--- Anon

I've heard every girl I've embraced
With sugar and spice has been laced,
But, assuming that's so,
I am anxious to know
Why they all have an anchovy taste.
--- Anon

There was a young dancer, Priscilla,
Who flavored her cunt with vanilla.
The taste was so fine,
Men and beasts stood in line,
Including a stud armadilla. (horny gorilla.)
--- L0424

You're hungry for seafood? Of course.
I shall whip up some fresh tartar sauce.
When I open your clam,
My sweet lovely ma'am,
I shall slam in my hammer with force.
--- Anon

And your snatch taste, is it sweet?
For my tongue, would it be a nice treat?
Will it taste like sweet nectar?
Will it make me erecter?
If so, then it's "Bon Appetite!"
--- Rodney Williams

Miss Gryce, the coloratura,
Sings her high C's 'con molto bravura'.
Her attack's never blunt
'Cause she sprinkles her cunt
With cayenne moistened with Angostura.
--- G2299

To the doctor went Duchess von Kleering,
To complain of a fault persevering --
Through her cunt, she could hear.
Said the doctor, "Don't fear,
You will find it is mere Cherry Heering."

(Cherry Heering - a Scandinavian cherry liquer)
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0507

There was a young lady of Ulva,
Who was famed far and wide for her vulva.
Most Englishmen said
It was herrings and bread--
But the Turks said it tasted of halva.
--- Gavin Ewart

I played in the buff with young Buff,
And found she liked flavors and stuff.
A honeyed navel,
The strains of ravel,
And chocolate poured over her muff.
--- Archie

I can see that your life has been rough.
How do you put up with that stuff?
The best taste in the worl
Is the taste of fresh girl,
But she'd probably not like that enough.
--- Cyber Wizard

Archie forsook all propriety
In his mad quest for variety.
"Though it seems a bit banal,
I will now try the anal,
Pleading my lack of sobriety!"
--- Ward Hardman

A young entomologist, Bunny
Did something that I found quite funny.
She pulled down her pants
And went hunting for ants,
By coating her cunt with fresh honey.
--- Anon

There once was a maiden seraphic
Who doted on attitudes Sapphic.
She annointed her cunny
With essence of honey--
There's nothing like gumming up traffic.
--- G0908

'Round here its been so fucking hot,
The hooker puts ice in her twat.
Too cold for your dick,
But good for a lick,
And a flavor that just hits the spot.
--- Anon

There once was a man named Fripps,
Who went to purchase some dips.
He liked all the ways
They flavored his lays,
And we ain't talking potato chips.
--- Puff Adder a

A bartender's wife named Michelle
Had a snatch that got juicy as hell.
Since she tasted so nice,
He would add rum and ice
And mix drinks that were easy to sell.
--- Lims For Year - 01

Is it true that you frolic with Jello;
Your persona is so very mellow.
I'd shove lime up her pussy,
And orange up her tushy.
I'd be a very happy fellow.
--- Putz

KY Jelly is much too mucky
For me, and I'm sure it tastes yucky.
May I suggest,
For flavor that's best,
Au natural for a good fucky.
--- Anon

A girl with a lucrative plot
Made a plaster cast of her twat.
Which she stuck on a stick
Which she sold to a chick,
Who can do more than pant when she's hot!
--- Chairman Steve

There was a young girl named Delores,
Who had quite a large clitoris.
She liked fucking too much
And the cleaning was such
That she tasted a lot like Lavoris.

(Lavoris - commercial mouthwash)
--- Anon

There once was a boy who liked yeast
And bread was only the least.
He got him a ho';
She had a sour dough,
So he spread her and had him a feast.
--- Violette TP9901

An innocent freshman named Kim
Heard acid increased a girl's vim.
So he bought two ripe limes
For a couple of dimes,
And squirted them clear up her quim.
--- Armand E Singer 133

The butcher's apprentice, Miss Gossage,
Observed on her cunt a green moss edge.
Said the doctor, "How quaint,
From a man's meat it ain't,
And it tastes just like smoked liver sausage."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1267

There were two little mice in Rangoon,
Who sought lunch in an old lady's womb.
Cried one mouse, "By Jesus,
I'll wager this cheese is
As old as the cheese in the moon!"
--- L0791

There was a young lady named Inge,
Who went on a binge with a dinge.
Now I won't breathe a word
Of what really occurred,
But her cunt has a chocolate fringe.
--- L0053

There once was a man from Hong Kong,
Who tasted Mei's hot egg foo yong.
Its spicy fish flavor
Provoked this bold rave: "Her
Divine dish could raise a dead dong!"
--- Randog

There once was a girl named Maxine,
Who flavored her own Vaseline.
"This sure will be great!"
Exclaimed her hot date,
"But why are you trying sardine?"
--- David Miller

We've got a new cook from Genoa
And it's worthwhile your getting to know her,.
'Cause the scabs from her crack
Make a really nice snack,
When garnished with spermatozoa.
--- Michael Horgan

There was a young lady from Troy,
Who invented an exquisite joy,
She filled up her cran,
With strawberry jam,
And had it sucked out by a boy.
--- Anon

Satsumas are lucious and juicy
And nectarines make me all goosey,
But no taste anywhere
Can ever compare
To a ripe, steaming succulent pussy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection