There was a young girl of Las Palmas Said a lush senorita named Lana, There was a young lady called Anna, A lusty sophomore from Savannah I know and old vamp from Savannah, There was a young girl called Ilana, I met a young girl from Havana There once was a girl named Havana, She was shocked and angry as can be Two spry young maidens from Havana, There was a young jewess named Hannah, Allergic to veggies, Aunt Anna, A babe from the town Susquehanna A superior girl of Savannah A ripened banana, says Jim, That optimist, old Pollyanna, A lustful old widow named Parrot A passionate schoolgirl named Parrott An ingenious maiden named Garrett, Is this girl the same one who trains parrots; I always leave carrots till last, When a girl, young Elizabeth Barrett, A horny young girl, Debbie King, A snobbish young woman named Charity, I know of a girl with a no. A certain young nympho, McGarret, I met a strange girl from Dubuque, "I'm not one to easily spook," "My preference," she said, "is not fluke. The cuke was selected for size, An old maid tried hard to detach A greengrocer's girl from the Humber, "Miss Jill, you need to be thrilled
This is file axm
There once was a nympho named Sword, There was a young lady named May, There was a young girl named Maxine, On her first fuck, the virgin Miss Bickels, The wife of old farmer MacSweeney, Good grief! What a noise from next door! There's one up her dripping wet space, "Our preference? The lowly cucumber!" Well, better I just keep mum eh? A young German lady named Schickel A cucumber farmer nearby The Widow McCree shopped for bread, One day, making pickles with dill, A botanist, Dino Martini, Mother Superior to Head of the Garden A technical virgin, Miss Nichols, A self-centered woman named Perkins, There was a young man from the docks There once was a lady named Eve, A cucumber's sounding quite pricey; Jalapenos are too small and hot, I've often been told that my lumber Observed a young female, Ms. Bickel, Young Jenny has dreams in her slumba, Love carrots? Then you'll love a zucchini, But a soft tongue is lots better; Said Lizzie, our local librarian, Yes, lately, dear Lizzie's a stickler Enjoying a jolly was Molly The lady next door is a wonder. Said Carol, most men are so teeny, This isn't our Carol, of course, "Dear Peter, your size is a joke. Maggie once did it with stallions
Who, haveing discarded pajamas,
Said: "Dear sister Sue,
We could share a blow through,
But YES, we have no bananas.
--- G2155
As she shoved herself with a banana,
"Due to potency, decency,
Emergency, frequency,
I like this more manual manna..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 248
Who quite liked to smoke marijuana.
It gave her a buzz
And tickled her fuzz,
So she just used a great big banana.
--- TuttaGioia
Once screwed herself with a banana.
Then she went off to Macon,
Greased her ass with bacon,
And slid on it into Atlanta.
--- Larry Wilde
Who masturbates with a banana.
She strokes all day long
With a ripe yellow dong,
To the music of "Hard-Hearted-Hannah."
--- David Miller
Whose boyfriend was half-Afrikaaner.
While he roamed the veldt,
She didn't get felt
So she had to employ a banana.
--- Chris Young
Who was known for her down-to-earth manner.
She said, "Beg your pardon,
But is that a hard on,
And if not, would you pass that banana?"
--- Michael Horgan
Whose boyfriend lived in Montana.
She surprised him one day
With a visit in May,
And caught him with a banana.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He cried, "Honey, please don't you see"
You left me alone
But now you've come home.
So help get this banana outta me."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
One night went to bed-- no pajamas.
Girl one to girl two,
"Let's do as men do!"
The second said, "But we have no bananas!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who wanted to go to Havana.
When they told her "No way!",
She muttered "Oy vey",
And fucked herself with a banana.
--- Anon
Disports her old pussy with manna
That's brittle and hot,
Then diddles her twat
For days with a large green banana.
--- Travis Brasell
Failed to come when she tried a banana;
But responding quite well
To her failure, said "Hell,
With a dildo I'm only a larna."
--- Hugh Oliver A104B
Has affected an elegant mannah,
But her favorite sport
Of the fantasy sort,
Is to squish an erotic banana.
--- Keith MacMillan A111C
Is tasty when stuck in a quim.
When slipped in the wife,
Just munch for your life,
But suck as you're nearing the rim.
--- Anon
Achieved a state near to NIRVANA;
She never had beau
But managed quite so,
With the help of a well-greased banana.
--- Chris Papa
Would sneak up the stairs to her garret,
Where hidden from view,
Each evening anew,
She climaxed herself with a carrot.
--- Armand E Singer 942
Made indiscreet use of a carrot.
Said her mother, "When through,
Throw it into the stew;
We've got so darned few, we can't spare it."
--- G2180
For a new aide-de-sex, tried a carrot;
And enjoyed it so much --
An unusual touch --
Around her bare neck she would wear it.
--- Armand Singer P0102
Or, perhaps, she's the one who digs ferrets?
If she's one and the same,
Will you give me her name?
Blows my mind what this girl does with carrots.
--- Anon
The best of a lustful repast!
Those tubers so trim
Fit right up my quim,
And always provide such a blast!
--- TuttaGioia
Was found by her ma in a garret.
She had shoved up a diamond
As far as her hymen,
And was ramming it home with a carrot.
--- L1240
Put carrots way up in her thing.
The lettuce and broccoli
She then did use cockily;
Her husband ate salad till spring!
--- Theresa TP9802
Finds men who can sate her a rarity.
So she uses a carrot,
Wrapped in fur of a ferret,
Which brings her to bliss with celerity.
--- Anon
Of vegetables used before slo.
She says that a carrot
Has adequate merit,
But her favorite's always cuco.
--- Hugh Clary
Indulges herself with a carrot.
But nights that don't work,
(A curious quirk)
She preys on the lust of her parrot.
--- Armand Singer
Whose antics induced me to puke.
She showed me that she
Preferrfed veggies to me,
By inserting a bumpy green cuke.
--- John Miller 0070
I said, "Baby, although you're a kook,
You might find a treat
To try out some meat;
What I have's beyond any rebuke."
--- John Miller 0070a
Even were you a knight or a duke
With the sweetest of meat,
You'd be hard-pressed to beat
A zucchini or Big Brother Cuke."
--- John Miller 0070b
And produced a pleasant surprise.
When pressed on a spot
That made one feel hot,
The thing disappeared 'fore ones eyes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Herself from an itch in her snatch.
It went quickly away
On a hot summer day
When she stooped in her cucumber patch.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8910
The boys thought a really hot number.
When business was slow,
She'd put on a show,
Performing the cucumber rumba.
--- Anon
With far more than asparagus grilled,"
Said the doc, "You need meat
And some protein, my sweet;
Open wide -- I'll make sure your fulfilled."
--- Peter Wilkins
On day without fucking got bored.
Looking to please her cunt,
She went out on a hunt,
And found cucumbers she'd never explored!
--- Laurence Craft
Who frigged herself in the hay.
She bought a pickle,
One for a nickel,
And wore all the warts away!
--- L1304
Whose vagina was wondrously clean.
With her uterus packed,
She kept safe from attack,
With a dill pickle, papulous, green.
--- L1303
Cried, "Oh, but that prick of your tickles.
I've never had meat
In my cunt when in heat.
I always use cucumbers and pickles."
--- G2084
Would complain that his weenie was teeny.
To feel something bigger,
She'd rub on her trigger,
A cucumber, corn, or zucchini.
--- Cap'n Bean
I shall look through this keyhole for sure.
Why, it's Kate's in the nude
Being frightfully rude,
With some cucumbers down on the floor.
--- Peter Wilkins
And another in 'tother sweet place;
While her fingers take flight
On her nub of delight,
As sheer ecstasy etches her face.
--- Peter Wilkins
Swear lovely young girls without number.
"Inept use of puds
By callow young studs
Leads only to boredom and slumber."
--- John Miller
How come it's so large when you slumber?
You are nought but a fake,
And 'twas a big mistake;
It's nought but a whopping cucumber!
--- Anon
Would lay on her back for a nickel.
And when she was through,
For something to do,
She would fuck with a kosher dill pickle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2201
Is an entrepreneurial guy.
He sells his whole crop
Where the misandrists shop,
And demand is exceeding supply.
--- Jerry Nordal P0312
But bought a zucchini instead;
She told the store clerk,
"This damn thing should work,
It's endowed like my dead husband Fred!"
--- Anon
I found one cuke that gave me a thrill.
It was ever so long
and resembled a dong;
I've not used it yet, but I will.
--- Anon
Developed a monstrous zucchini.
His daughter named Candy,
Said, "This is real dandy."
She discarded her dildo and weenie.
--- Al Willis P9809
Said, "My nuns need a bit of a hard-on.
Nothing skinny or narrow,
But a vegetable marrow;
Nothing less will these randy girls pardon."
--- Anon
Has never used candles--just pickles.
She doesn't like men,
But gets hot now and then,
And rubs off on hot, sour prickles.
--- Grand Prix Lim 241 G2174
Would work off her urges with gherkins,
Until with a skid,
Inside her one slid,
And pickled her internal workin's.
--- Anon
Who couldn't get into a box.
He said, "For a nickel,
I'd take an old pickle,
And fret nevermore of the pox."
--- Giandomeni & Christ P8908
Who did things you wouldn't believe,
With uncut cucumbers,
And horny young plumbers,
And a Dachschund she wants to retrieve!
--- Anon
I was hoping for something more spicey.
A pepper or two --
Jalapeno nught do --
It would warm up her quimmy quite nicey.
--- Dudeshead
And would burn her cute little twat.
Zucchini's too big,
Carrots small as twigs,
Cucumbers always hit the spot.
--- Carol
Resembles a nice thick cucumber.
But ladies who've seen
It's shade of dark green,
Won't come to my slum for a slumber.
--- Gearhart
"I don't like men's pricks 'cause the tickle;
Bananas look funny,
And dildoes cost money --
My choice is a slippery pickle."
--- Armand E Singer 696
Of dirtily dancing the rumba.
With veg like courgettes;
Real excited she gets,
'Til she comes to the cucumba numba.
--- Anon
Even more than a greasy linguini.
But if it goes deep
And it makes you weep,
I'd say that your quim is too teeny.
--- S C Saint
It's not just an appetite whetter.
It will make you spasm
And quiver and orgasm,
And your clit will surely get redder.
--- S C Saint
With a cucumber caught in her hairy 'un,
"Don't be quick to depict
Me perverted and sick,
Just because I'm a strict vegetarian!"
--- John Miller
For cucumbers dipped in her pickler;
She thinks they are 'scrumpy'
If thick, long and bumpy
With skin feeling like a french tickler.
--- Travis Brasell
Bent over her food-shopping trolley,
In teeny bikini
Abusing zucchini,
Bananas and marrows, by golly.
--- Anon
Her marriage was just put asunder.
She got rid of the louse;
Found a substitute spouse;
Wore the warts off a ten inch cucumber.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
I've had to make do with zucchini,
Though green and unthatched,
Because unattached,
I can hide one beneath my bikini.
--- John Miller
Whose men are all hung like a horse;
Have charm and fine wit,
Know why there's a clit,
And give girls no cause for remorse.
--- John Miller
My climax you cannot evoke.
So in place of your weenie,
I'm using zucchini,
And finding my pussy asoak!"
--- Ogni Gioia
And athletes with lots of medallions.
But she's into, these days,
The fresh vegetable craze,
Making do with zucchinis and scallions.
--- John Miller 0317a