There was a young girl of Las Palmas
Who, haveing discarded pajamas,
Said: "Dear sister Sue,
We could share a blow through,
But YES, we have no bananas.
--- G2155

Said a lush senorita named Lana,
As she shoved herself with a banana,
"Due to potency, decency,
Emergency, frequency,
I like this more manual manna..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 248

There was a young lady called Anna,
Who quite liked to smoke marijuana.
It gave her a buzz
And tickled her fuzz,
So she just used a great big banana.
--- TuttaGioia

A lusty sophomore from Savannah
Once screwed herself with a banana.
Then she went off to Macon,
Greased her ass with bacon,
And slid on it into Atlanta.
--- Larry Wilde

I know and old vamp from Savannah,
Who masturbates with a banana.
She strokes all day long
With a ripe yellow dong,
To the music of "Hard-Hearted-Hannah."
--- David Miller

There was a young girl called Ilana,
Whose boyfriend was half-Afrikaaner.
While he roamed the veldt,
She didn't get felt
So she had to employ a banana.
--- Chris Young

I met a young girl from Havana
Who was known for her down-to-earth manner.
She said, "Beg your pardon,
But is that a hard on,
And if not, would you pass that banana?"
--- Michael Horgan

There once was a girl named Havana,
Whose boyfriend lived in Montana.
She surprised him one day
With a visit in May,
And caught him with a banana.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She was shocked and angry as can be
He cried, "Honey, please don't you see"
You left me alone
But now you've come home.
So help get this banana outta me."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Two spry young maidens from Havana,
One night went to bed-- no pajamas.
Girl one to girl two,
"Let's do as men do!"
The second said, "But we have no bananas!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young jewess named Hannah,
Who wanted to go to Havana.
When they told her "No way!",
She muttered "Oy vey",
And fucked herself with a banana.
--- Anon

Allergic to veggies, Aunt Anna,
Disports her old pussy with manna
That's brittle and hot,
Then diddles her twat
For days with a large green banana.
--- Travis Brasell

A babe from the town Susquehanna
Failed to come when she tried a banana;
But responding quite well
To her failure, said "Hell,
With a dildo I'm only a larna."
--- Hugh Oliver A104B

A superior girl of Savannah
Has affected an elegant mannah,
But her favorite sport
Of the fantasy sort,
Is to squish an erotic banana.
--- Keith MacMillan A111C

A ripened banana, says Jim,
Is tasty when stuck in a quim.
When slipped in the wife,
Just munch for your life,
But suck as you're nearing the rim.
--- Anon

That optimist, old Pollyanna,
Achieved a state near to NIRVANA;
She never had beau
But managed quite so,
With the help of a well-greased banana.
--- Chris Papa

A lustful old widow named Parrot
Would sneak up the stairs to her garret,
Where hidden from view,
Each evening anew,
She climaxed herself with a carrot.
--- Armand E Singer 942

A passionate schoolgirl named Parrott
Made indiscreet use of a carrot.
Said her mother, "When through,
Throw it into the stew;
We've got so darned few, we can't spare it."
--- G2180

An ingenious maiden named Garrett,
For a new aide-de-sex, tried a carrot;
And enjoyed it so much --
An unusual touch --
Around her bare neck she would wear it.
--- Armand Singer P0102

Is this girl the same one who trains parrots;
Or, perhaps, she's the one who digs ferrets?
If she's one and the same,
Will you give me her name?
Blows my mind what this girl does with carrots.
--- Anon

I always leave carrots till last,
The best of a lustful repast!
Those tubers so trim
Fit right up my quim,
And always provide such a blast!
--- TuttaGioia

When a girl, young Elizabeth Barrett,
Was found by her ma in a garret.
She had shoved up a diamond
As far as her hymen,
And was ramming it home with a carrot.
--- L1240

A horny young girl, Debbie King,
Put carrots way up in her thing.
The lettuce and broccoli
She then did use cockily;
Her husband ate salad till spring!
--- Theresa TP9802

A snobbish young woman named Charity,
Finds men who can sate her a rarity.
So she uses a carrot,
Wrapped in fur of a ferret,
Which brings her to bliss with celerity.
--- Anon

I know of a girl with a no.
Of vegetables used before slo.
She says that a carrot
Has adequate merit,
But her favorite's always cuco.
--- Hugh Clary

A certain young nympho, McGarret,
Indulges herself with a carrot.
But nights that don't work,
(A curious quirk)
She preys on the lust of her parrot.
--- Armand Singer

I met a strange girl from Dubuque,
Whose antics induced me to puke.
She showed me that she
Preferrfed veggies to me,
By inserting a bumpy green cuke.
--- John Miller 0070

"I'm not one to easily spook,"
I said, "Baby, although you're a kook,
You might find a treat
To try out some meat;
What I have's beyond any rebuke."
--- John Miller 0070a

"My preference," she said, "is not fluke.
Even were you a knight or a duke
With the sweetest of meat,
You'd be hard-pressed to beat
A zucchini or Big Brother Cuke."
--- John Miller 0070b

The cuke was selected for size,
And produced a pleasant surprise.
When pressed on a spot
That made one feel hot,
The thing disappeared 'fore ones eyes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An old maid tried hard to detach
Herself from an itch in her snatch.
It went quickly away
On a hot summer day
When she stooped in her cucumber patch.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8910

A greengrocer's girl from the Humber,
The boys thought a really hot number.
When business was slow,
She'd put on a show,
Performing the cucumber rumba.
--- Anon

"Miss Jill, you need to be thrilled
With far more than asparagus grilled,"
Said the doc, "You need meat
And some protein, my sweet;
Open wide -- I'll make sure your fulfilled."
--- Peter Wilkins

This is file axm

There once was a nympho named Sword,
On day without fucking got bored.
Looking to please her cunt,
She went out on a hunt,
And found cucumbers she'd never explored!
--- Laurence Craft

There was a young lady named May,
Who frigged herself in the hay.
She bought a pickle,
One for a nickel,
And wore all the warts away!
--- L1304

There was a young girl named Maxine,
Whose vagina was wondrously clean.
With her uterus packed,
She kept safe from attack,
With a dill pickle, papulous, green.
--- L1303

On her first fuck, the virgin Miss Bickels,
Cried, "Oh, but that prick of your tickles.
I've never had meat
In my cunt when in heat.
I always use cucumbers and pickles."
--- G2084

The wife of old farmer MacSweeney,
Would complain that his weenie was teeny.
To feel something bigger,
She'd rub on her trigger,
A cucumber, corn, or zucchini.
--- Cap'n Bean

Good grief! What a noise from next door!
I shall look through this keyhole for sure.
Why, it's Kate's in the nude
Being frightfully rude,
With some cucumbers down on the floor.
--- Peter Wilkins

There's one up her dripping wet space,
And another in 'tother sweet place;
While her fingers take flight
On her nub of delight,
As sheer ecstasy etches her face.
--- Peter Wilkins

"Our preference? The lowly cucumber!"
Swear lovely young girls without number.
"Inept use of puds
By callow young studs
Leads only to boredom and slumber."
--- John Miller

Well, better I just keep mum eh?
How come it's so large when you slumber?
You are nought but a fake,
And 'twas a big mistake;
It's nought but a whopping cucumber!
--- Anon

A young German lady named Schickel
Would lay on her back for a nickel.
And when she was through,
For something to do,
She would fuck with a kosher dill pickle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2201

A cucumber farmer nearby
Is an entrepreneurial guy.
He sells his whole crop
Where the misandrists shop,
And demand is exceeding supply.
--- Jerry Nordal P0312

The Widow McCree shopped for bread,
But bought a zucchini instead;
She told the store clerk,
"This damn thing should work,
It's endowed like my dead husband Fred!"
--- Anon

One day, making pickles with dill,
I found one cuke that gave me a thrill.
It was ever so long
and resembled a dong;
I've not used it yet, but I will.
--- Anon

A botanist, Dino Martini,
Developed a monstrous zucchini.
His daughter named Candy,
Said, "This is real dandy."
She discarded her dildo and weenie.
--- Al Willis P9809

Mother Superior to Head of the Garden
Said, "My nuns need a bit of a hard-on.
Nothing skinny or narrow,
But a vegetable marrow;
Nothing less will these randy girls pardon."
--- Anon

A technical virgin, Miss Nichols,
Has never used candles--just pickles.
She doesn't like men,
But gets hot now and then,
And rubs off on hot, sour prickles.
--- Grand Prix Lim 241 G2174

A self-centered woman named Perkins,
Would work off her urges with gherkins,
Until with a skid,
Inside her one slid,
And pickled her internal workin's.
--- Anon

There was a young man from the docks
Who couldn't get into a box.
He said, "For a nickel,
I'd take an old pickle,
And fret nevermore of the pox."
--- Giandomeni & Christ P8908

There once was a lady named Eve,
Who did things you wouldn't believe,
With uncut cucumbers,
And horny young plumbers,
And a Dachschund she wants to retrieve!
--- Anon

A cucumber's sounding quite pricey;
I was hoping for something more spicey.
A pepper or two --
Jalapeno nught do --
It would warm up her quimmy quite nicey.
--- Dudeshead

Jalapenos are too small and hot,
And would burn her cute little twat.
Zucchini's too big,
Carrots small as twigs,
Cucumbers always hit the spot.
--- Carol

I've often been told that my lumber
Resembles a nice thick cucumber.
But ladies who've seen
It's shade of dark green,
Won't come to my slum for a slumber.
--- Gearhart

Observed a young female, Ms. Bickel,
"I don't like men's pricks 'cause the tickle;
Bananas look funny,
And dildoes cost money --
My choice is a slippery pickle."
--- Armand E Singer 696

Young Jenny has dreams in her slumba,
Of dirtily dancing the rumba.
With veg like courgettes;
Real excited she gets,
'Til she comes to the cucumba numba.
--- Anon

Love carrots? Then you'll love a zucchini,
Even more than a greasy linguini.
But if it goes deep
And it makes you weep,
I'd say that your quim is too teeny.
--- S C Saint

But a soft tongue is lots better;
It's not just an appetite whetter.
It will make you spasm
And quiver and orgasm,
And your clit will surely get redder.
--- S C Saint

Said Lizzie, our local librarian,
With a cucumber caught in her hairy 'un,
"Don't be quick to depict
Me perverted and sick,
Just because I'm a strict vegetarian!"
--- John Miller

Yes, lately, dear Lizzie's a stickler
For cucumbers dipped in her pickler;
She thinks they are 'scrumpy'
If thick, long and bumpy
With skin feeling like a french tickler.
--- Travis Brasell

Enjoying a jolly was Molly
Bent over her food-shopping trolley,
In teeny bikini
Abusing zucchini,
Bananas and marrows, by golly.
--- Anon

The lady next door is a wonder.
Her marriage was just put asunder.
She got rid of the louse;
Found a substitute spouse;
Wore the warts off a ten inch cucumber.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312

Said Carol, most men are so teeny,
I've had to make do with zucchini,
Though green and unthatched,
Because unattached,
I can hide one beneath my bikini.
--- John Miller

This isn't our Carol, of course,
Whose men are all hung like a horse;
Have charm and fine wit,
Know why there's a clit,
And give girls no cause for remorse.
--- John Miller

"Dear Peter, your size is a joke.
My climax you cannot evoke.
So in place of your weenie,
I'm using zucchini,
And finding my pussy asoak!"
--- Ogni Gioia

Maggie once did it with stallions
And athletes with lots of medallions.
But she's into, these days,
The fresh vegetable craze,
Making do with zucchinis and scallions.
--- John Miller 0317a