MORE
Ther was an old lady of Troy,
Who invented a new kind of joy.
She sugared her quim,
And frosted the rim,
And then had it sucked by a boy.
(Published 1879)
It was cute of this girl of Portsoy A tea-swilling bookman, Magee, Said a old cunnilinguist named Boone, Her bush was a true work of art; We know you're a ravishing dish, There's a difference in things that I should, A guy who went out on a limb, I've found that the thicker the honey, There once was this whore from Des Moines, My tastebuds have gone quite awry There once was a woman named Bunny, There was a young girl named Priscilla, A gourmet's delight is Priscilla, Now on sweet eatin' Molly I'd dine; I'm in search of the superlative muff; I can hump one it seems, for hours; Yes the quest for the muffy abounds Yet at times, there's no nookie to screw, She tempted the whole football team, A psychology student of Galt There once was a girl from Mt. Grunt I met Mr Chang late last night. I said, "Chang, we Brits have a game, The bannisters then they slide down, There's a question designed to perplex; Some pussy described 'Occidental', At a party, a young tipsy clown He had asked with low voice, like a prayer; It's true what you say, don't you know? A prostitute hailing from Seoul A Chinese stripper at an audition Unique is the cunt of Ming Lu, There was a young lady whose cunt There once was an artist named Thayer With the difference in snatch that abounds, Straight from the old horse's mouth: There was a young lady named Blunt, Today, I was bored all day long, When a whore stopped a man in Tobruk, There was a young lady named Hatch, Another young fellow named Hatch, Some girls are square, some are foxes. I've always liked twats quite well-rounded, There was a young lady of Crewe A girl from North Carolina A mathematician named Boris, There once was a WAC from Fort Knox, Now some are quite big and some pertical, "I want something new for my pleasure; A young girl who was semi-Chinese When Kilroy was stationed in China, A newsman in Asia named Norting, Mao Tse Tung found a Caucasian miss (THIS to be printed vertically)
A German researcher named Heina A student from South Carolina An old sailor was heard to rant, There was a young shop clerk of Stoke In his childhood a fellow from China At the whorehouse, last night I applied No wonder I rave and I rant! There was a young fellow named Viner Mohammed, when lodged at Medina, Said an Anglo-Chinese named Elias: "My peter," says Peter, "veers right, There once was a GI named Mohr, With his Chinese girl, young Christopher
--- L0440
To invent this new sort of toy,
But having to suck
When he wanted to fuck
Was bloody hard times for the boy.
--- Anon
When he has distant clients to see,
Always travels by plane,
And if pressed to explain,
Says, "I dote on T W A tea."
--- L1712
"My wife is a lot like a prune:
The ugly old bat
Is both wrinkled and fat--
But I do like the tang of her poon!"
--- Norm Storer A
It was coiffed in the shape of a heart.
And just out of sight
Was another delight,
A twat with the taste of a tart!
--- Stan
But would you please answer us this?
While most girls are nice,
Made of sugar and spice,
Why do you taste so strongly of fish?
--- Anon
And things that I rather would.
I don't want to date,
A gal with good taste;
I want one who really tastes good.
--- Mike M TP9802
Had thought that his chances were slim.
But he started to root
When he found that the fruit
Was a tender and juicy young quim.
--- Neal Wilgus P8511
When spread 'tween the lips of a cunny,
Gives rise to a friction,
(I say with conviction),
More pleasing than honey that's runny.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose pussy was tight as a coin.
It was tender and sweet,
Such a fine piece of meat,
`hat she went by the name, "Top Sirloin!"
--- Laurence Craft
But I, too, would like to know why
Those cute lassie sweetums,
Whenever I eat 'ems,
All taste like a tuna pot pie.
--- Anon
Who envied Priscilla's sweet cunny.
So she sprinkled her tits
With cinnamon bits
And flavored her pussy with honey.
--- Bob Birch
Who flavored her cunt with vanilla.
The taste was so fine,
Men and beasts stood in line,
But she called it a day with Godzilla.
--- Stephen Cordwell
For her breath's a distinct sarsparilla.
One breast tastes of thyme,
The other of lime,
And her vaginal flavor's vanilla.
--- Isaac Asimov
No stubble down there would you find.
With pussy mythical
Defiantly not typical,
It could change vinegar into wine.
--- Anon
Smelling sweet and unbelievably tough;
On top, bottom or behind,
'Tis always on my mind;
It seems I can not get enough.
--- Anon
When it smells like a warm field of flowers;
Then it wears it all out,
(That said, with a pout),
Nothing left, except warm soapy showers.
--- Anon
In all villages, cities and towns.
'Tis the thrill of the hunt
Of a sweet little cunt,
That keeps us men acting like clowns.
--- Anon
So the shower will just have to do.
With a hand soapy slick,
Just say, "It's my dick
And I'll wash it as fast as I do."
--- Anon
But her method was kind of extreme.
But none tried to dick her,
They wanted to lick her;
She painted her snatch with ice cream.
--- Al Willis
Used to line her vagina with salt.
"It's much better in bed
Than is pepper," she said,
"Which is apt to disturb the gestalt."
--- Keith MacMillan 64d
Who wiped her ass back to front.
Said her beau from Mt. Grabit,
Please re-verse this habit;
I'm sick with the taste of your cunt.
--- H Welchel
He said, "My boy, you're pretty bright;
Do Western girls lips
That lie 'tween their hips
Go up-down or run left to right.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And Blind Buggers Boff is its name.
You take every fella
Deep down in the cellar,
And upstairs install every dame.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Unclad, and you hark for the sound.
As earthward they go,
The Western girls flow;
Orientals flub-blub to the ground.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is a pussy concave or convex.
"It depends on position",
Said a noted physician,
"And the angle of thrust during sex!"
--- Jeeves T9710
While others are tagged 'Oriental'.
But I'm telling you
The very best screw
Is pussy that's labeled 'For Rental'.
--- Travis Brasell
Quizzed an Asian, 'bout what's 'neath her gown.
"Are you chicks, 'neath the gauze,
(With a gesture of paws)
Horizontal or straight up and down."
--- Barfy
But this chick was a sharp-tongued dude-slayer.
She said loud; all could hear;
"What's it to you, my dear?
Are you a harmonica player?"
--- Barfy
Her voice yet became soft and low.
I diddled her clit
And fondled her tit,
While she played on my sweet pink oboe.
--- Obnoxio
Had a quite horizontical hole.
Since her boyfriend was round,
She proceeded to pound,
Till flat as a board was his pole.
--- Goin2later
Got the job due to a rare condition.
Pussies point mostly down;
She's the only in town
With her jewel in the left-right position.
--- Dirruk
(You know what men claim, and it's true);
This Beijing hooker's crotch
Has a cross-slotted notch,
Resembling a Phillips-type screw.
--- Armand Singer
This is file axl
Was not placed exactly in front.
If you wanted to ride,
You approached from the side,
Which, it must be allowed, is a stunt.
--- G0303
Who was really a cubist with flair.
He looked all his life
To find him a wife
Possessed of a cunt that was square.
--- L1735
Keep on looking until you have found,
Not those shaped as a slit
For a pole to snug fit;
Seek a hole in the mound that is round.
--- Travis Brasell
All pussies cause men to arouse.
But the ones I like best
Are those found in the west
With their orientation north-south.
--- Dirruk
Who had a rectangular cunt.
She learned for diversion
Posterior perversion,
Since no one could fit her in front.
--- L0132
'Til meeting this girl from Hong Kong;
She had tiny tits
And left-to-right splits,
So side-saddle sat on my dong.
--- Anon
He went down on his knees for a look.
He parted her hair,
But her cunthole was square,
So he looked at his cock and he shook.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0354
Who had a rectangular snatch,
So she practiced coition
With a mathematician,
Who had a square root to match.
--- Anon
His wife had a cubical snatch.
In no way out-witted,
(She was also three-titted)
He possessed a square root to match.
--- G0355
Some girls don't care about cocks. Is
It pulling your leg,
To say I've a peg
That's round, yet fits well in square boxes?
--- John Miller
That help me shoot straight when they're pounded.
A box that is square
Has corners down there,
With pinch points that leave cocks confounded.
--- Randog
Whose cunt was so straight and so true
That the navy, when fighting,
Could use it for sighting,
And at full range could sink a canoe.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0301
Had a tesseract for a vagina.
She was raped one day
In a 4-D way,
By a Moebius dick clear from China.
--- G2634
Had a wife with a wonderful clitorus.
He charged a small fee
For his colleagues to see
That it was made in the shape of a torus.
--- Anon
Who had a triangular box.
She'd go out on dates
With only those mates
Who had equilateral cocks.
--- David Miller
And however you turn them, insertical.
But the ones that I've seen
All tend to have been
Orientical more or less vertical.
--- MrMalo
A pussy convex I would treasure.
I don't think they exist,"
He said, sounding pissed,
"But I don't really know cause I'm gay, sir!"
--- Jeeves T9710
Had taken up screwing for fees.
Would the proper approach,
If one dared to encroach,
Be exactly half ninety degrees?
--- G1759
The gals he found couldn't be finer.
But he was surprised
To see her snatch ran cross-wise --
Both her uterus and her vagina.
--- Ed Wolfert P8406
Who cabled he'd noticed while sporting,
That the locals he'd screwed
Had their pussy lips skewed,
Has been praised for his slanted reporting.
--- Jim O'Conner P9301
And got set for a night of sheer bliss.
But no one advised him
And so it surprised him
That her cunt looked something like T.,H.,I.,S.
--- Ed C Wolfert P8201
Spent years checking whores throughout China,
To accept or discard
That repeated canard --
The one that concerns their vagina.
--- Armand E Singer 457
Was buying a rubber vagina.
He said, "At first glance,
The way this thing slants,
It must be imported from China."
--- David Miller
"I tries screwing my Korean aunt.
It was not my guilt
That made my dong wilt,
But her coozie that is all aslant."
--- Harry Rubin P9212
Who said to her boss, "It's no joke.
This working in China
Has moved my vagina--
I have to lie crossways to poke."
--- G0459
Had a ying-yang befitting a minor.
But as he grew taller,
His ying-yang got smaller,
And wound up in a crosswise vagina.
--- Pierce Evans
For my usual girl, who replied,
"You've grown fat, you must stop
Piling on me on top;
From now on it's beneath or astride."
--- John Miller
She's Asian and grew at a slant,
And try as I might,
I don't get it right,
And come at that angle? I can't!
--- John Miller
Who failed to get in a vagina.
When visualized frontally,
It ran horizontally--
He forgot he was visiting China.
--- G0350A
Imported a fifth wife from China,
Being anxious to know,
If it really were so,
That their maids have a squinting vagina.
--- Anon
"Though most ladies their favors deny us,
With girls of our ilk,
Everythings smooth as silk,
As we gaily make love on the bias!"
--- Don Boen P8201
But it's not an impediment, quite;
For aiming just left
Of her left-leaning cleft
Makes her saggy vagina feel tight."
--- John Miller
Who slept with a Japanese whore.
Because it was sideways,
They actually tried ways
He never considered before.
--- David Miller
Soon found why men were quite pissed of her.
Her cunt, if you please,
Was off ninety degrees,
And not one man in ten got the gist of her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0295
MORE