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When Hortense came into full bloom, Hortense sounds a little like Betty An Eskimo maiden named Horner, There was a young lady named Duff, A stalwart old fellow named Hatch This hooker was hurt by the slurs A hair loving fellow named Murray, A rugged old captain named Schwartz The cunt hair profuse of Miss Steiner A raunchy fellow from Zig Zag (OR) In the beauty salon at Fort Flavier, Penelope Fortescue-Smythe; Penelope Fortescue-Smythe The scything is merely foreplay Penelope thinks it is weird, Lucinda was certainly hairy; There was a young lady named Betty A singer named Ursula Grevil A girl who had a big thatch A hairy young lady was Kay; For blondes, though, I'll still play the clown, A hirsute young maiden named Doris A smart strip-teaser, Silky Khundt, I don't like the hair of a beast And I do not like it so smooth I used to go streaking on dares; There's an unbroken babe from Toronto, I love a young pussy all dewey, If you'll take a quick peek down beneath Though the Boers on South Africa's veldt A cadre of hippie coeds Both redheads and blondes, at the crown The dark pubic hair of young Sadie, There is an old maid from North Derry A bald girl who had a big thatch To his girl, a young fellow named Flock That Suzy did sport quite a thatch; The whimsy of Constable Trent, "First we gather the cunt hair," said Ford, I love your tongue making those swirls, There once was a woman from Surrey, There once was a Queen of Bulgaria, A destitute trapper was Skinner; Now snatches, there are a gazillion. This Colette to whom you were attended Confession is good for the soul. There was a young fellow named Jones, This portal beplumed with it's thatch, An ornithologist named Mary, There was a young lady named Wong A talented weaver named Lou There once was a girl named Louise A lock-keeper's lass in Upavon, The beaver of hot-pantied Pearl, The peach fuzz of young Miss McSweeney There was a hairdresser named Pierre, So Pierre with a feeling of bliss There was a girl named Yeti A lazy young girl named McGlore A strident fem libber, DeVries, (The crabs in her twat, Tied the hair in a knot,)
A fastidious hairdresser named Hatch Women are devious I fear, A fussy young lady named Brinkage, A lady now living in Brighton, An intrepid explorer named Barr An erection she called a hard "woodie," A fussy old plumber named Bokum
Her bristles were worse than a broom.
As I buried my head,
I could swear a voice said:
"You be Livingstone, now I presume?"
--- Frank Sfa
Who's shaggier still than a yeti;
To tackle her growth,
You would surely need both
A pith helmet and jungle machete.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was inspecting her puss-in-a-corner.
She said, "Jesus, what hair!
It looks like a bear.
If papa goes by, I'm a goner!"
--- G0362
With a lovely, luxuriant muff.
In his haste to get in her,
One eager beginner
Lost both of his balls in the rough.
--- L1159
Made love to a maid with dispatch.
She was charming and merry
But her cunt was so hairy,
That he lost his toupee in her snatch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0711
Of those mocking parts that were hers;
They claimed that her snatch
Lay buried in thatch,
And johns lost their way in the furs.
--- Armand E Singer 560
Has screwed all the women of Surrey;
He deplored the whole lot
Who had shaven their twat,
But he cherished the ones that were furry.
--- Cap'n Bean P0800
Carried cargoes abroad of all sorts.
At each port he got laid,
And a mattress he made
From the cunt hairs of whores of the ports.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0604
Was better than steel and much finer
For it fashioned a net,
The strongest one yet,
Which captured a whale and a liner.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0623
Kept pubic hairs in a big bag.
Some fur and some fluff,
From each lady's muff,
The stench of it would make a pig gag.
--- Larry Davis P8805
One observes some eccentric behavior:
Said one girl, "I don't care
For my straight pussy hair.
I came in to have it made wavier."
--- Grand Prix Lim 71 G2338
Your body is lissom and lithe.
But frankly your quim
Is in need of a trim,
With no less of a tool than a scythe.
--- Anon
'Bout personal hygiene was blithe.
If there was hair tax,
Then these are the facts:
She'd have to pay more than a tithe.
--- Anon
'Cause Penny is no easy lay.
For when one is done
And ready for fun,
She starts them on baling her hay.
--- Anon
To take tools to trim at her beard.
I said to her: "Pen,
It's puts off some men,
But, like sheep, I like 'em unsheared."
--- Anon
Her bush was so thick it was scary.
For a man to attack her,
He'd need a Weed Whacker;
So it's unlikely she'll lose her cherry!
--- Anon
Whose hair was as dense as spaghetti,
And her pussy was hairier,
But this was not a barrier
For the man with an ax or machete.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0402
Had a lousy affair with the Devil.
Her bush was so thick,
It obstructed his prick,
So he sent for the Barber of Seville.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of pubic hair right on her snatch,
Said, "What I most crave
Is a really close shave,
So I don't have to itch and to scratch."
--- Anon
Her cunt hair grew faster than hay.
She was fucked by a lush,
Who got lost in the brush,
And he's never been found to this day.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0496
Or auburn, brunette or just brown.
But kinky and black
Seems to mount an attack,
That drives me to wish I could drown.
--- Anon
Had a practical lover named Morris,
Who would sigh "Oh I swear
I could kiss you right there,
But I can't see the trees for the forres'."
--- Gordon & Eisenberk P8203
Is well-stacked in back and in front.
Her labial hirsuteness
Accents her cuteness,
For her fur piece you'll not have to hunt.
--- Ed Wolfert P8302
To greet me, no not in the least.
Not having to chop
Through a lifetime of crop,
And jungles of bush for my feast.
--- Anon
That it reminds me of a youth.
I want it between;
Gals know what I mean;
A little bush can really soothe.
--- Anon
The police used to chase me when bare.
One day I got caught;
Barbed wire it was thought.
Now I shave my vagina with care.
--- Dudesdead
Exceedingly hard to get onto,
But when you get there,
And have parted the hair,
You can fuck her as much as you want to.
--- L0108
But pubics galore makes 'em chewey.
And pubies last sound
Before hitting the ground,
Goes something like this one: Patooie!
--- Irish
You'll spy a luxuriant wreath
Of hair that's like wire
Or rare species of briar --
Oh-so-useful for picking one's teeth!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8601 a
Perhaps don't appear very svelte,
Those sexy Boer dollies,
They sure get their jollies
When the Boers poke their pricks in their pelt.
--- Grand Prix Lim 28 G0214
Were natural freaks and potheads.
They didn't shave pits,
Spurned bras for their tits,
And rolled all their pubes into dreads.
--- H Welchel a
Are silky and fine. Still I frown
With my cheeks in blonde muff,
'Cause it's scratchy and rough,
While a redhead is lighter than down.
--- Anon
Is the longest you'll find on a lady.
You must guess at the angle,
When you push through that tangle,
But once there, the surroundings are shady.
--- Isaac Asimov
This is file avl
Whose snatch is incredibly hairy.
Though she trims without ceasing,
Her fur keeps increasing!
I fear that she never will marry.
--- Magyar
Of pubic hair covering her snatch
Said, "What I most crave
Is a really close shave,
So my bald head and snatch will then match.
--- Anon
Said, "Show me a fine curly lock
Of that beautiful hair,
From between your legs bare,
And I'll show you the knob of my cock."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0144
The hair on her head was no match.
Right after the plunge,
It would act like a sponge,
Thus avoiding the evil wet patch.
--- Anon
He follows with filthy intent:
For he's stuffing a chair
With the curly cunt hair
Of the unfaithful housewives of Kent.
--- Grand Prix Lim 59 G2535
"From ten thousand girls, quite a hoard.
Then it's dried and compressed
Shaped, cut, and dressed.
And that's how we make beaverboard."
--- Michael Weinstein P8601a
And twisting around making twirls.
And this time I'll trim.
Some hairs from my quim,
So your teeth won't get stuck in my curls.
--- Anon
Plagued with a bum that was furry.
She'd wax it and pluck it
And then tried to tuck it
In places that caused her to worry.
--- Annie Jay
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
'Till a Prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.
--- L0138
His catch was so poor he got thinner.
He set off in pursuit
Of the beaver hirsute,
To provide him with warmth and a dinner.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2306
Why is it that men love Brazilian?
For that slim landing strip
Good waxers to rrr-rip
Out the bucks, and they make near a million.
--- SFA
Was so fucking hirsutely pudended;
My intentions made known,
I'm left holding my bone;
Not quite sure which end I intended.
--- Anon
I admit that I've dreamed of a hole,
That was not round but square,
And had silky green hair,
So thick it was like a mink stole.
--- Anon
Whose fiancee had prominent bones,
And more than her share
Of superfluous hair
Around her erogenous zones.
--- G0371
Yields to entrants so flawless a match,
That few males, to be sure,
Can resist its allure,
When offered so snary a hatch.
--- Bob Giandomenico
Had a cunt excessively hairy.
'Midst the bramblous thatch
That covered her snatch,
Roosted three owls, a duck, and canary.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Whose cunt hair was thick and so strong,
That workmen were able
To fashion a cable,
For constructing a bridge a mile long.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2394
Gave up weaving, but took up in lieu
The making of string
From the hairs on her thing
Which she braided while perched on the loo.
--- Theo Heller P9112
Whose cunt-hair hung down to her knees.
The crabs in her twat
Tied the hair in a knot,
And constructed a flying trapeze.
--- L1468
Had locks that were black as a raven;
On her head they were straight,
But they curled near the gate
Which led to her innermost haven.
--- Harold C Bibby
Incredibly just didn't curl.
When a hot-handed date
Said, "Your twat hair's so straight!"
She suggested he give it a twirl.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Curls out from her teeny bikini.
It's a glorious sight,
To be viewed with delight,
And it stirs even grandpappy's weenie.
--- Grand Prix Lim 742 G0394
Who dressed a girl's hair in his chair.
And he dressed it so nice
For a nominal price,
That she asked him to dress her affair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2229
Went to work on the cunt of this miss.
And he dressed it so fine
With his skillful design,
That it reached out and gave him a kiss.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2230
Who's cunt hair was thick as spaghetti.
The crabs in her twat
Tied her hair in a knot;
And to get in you had to use a machete.
--- Anon
Trimmed her pussy fur often, below her.
For she got up quite late,
And her hair was so straight
That putting in curlers was a bore.
--- G2413
Had cunt hair that hung to her knees.
It was good to shine brass,
Or for wiping her ass,
And the crabs used it for a trapeze.
--- Anon
Prepared a girl's hair with dispatch.
It looked neat and so prim
That she asked him to trim
The hair on her pussy to match.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2102
With their sly, man-trapping weir.
They should, I submit,
Have tattooed near their clit:
"Abandon hope, ye who enter here."
--- John K Roberts P9302
When fucking, would raise a big stinkage.
But a simple mechanic
Avoided a panic
By adjusting the stops on her linkage.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0061
Erotic sensations to heighten,
Used a Mountain Dew bottle
As a dildo full throttle.
Now she douches with alum to tighten.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Once encountered a pussy bizarre.
Though at times he did bungle
And got lost in the jungle,
Yet this cunt beat the jungle by far.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0391
And her foot she has labeled her "foodie."
Seems her office computer
Has been dubbed her "puter,"
And her twat she has christened her "poodie."
--- Bob Birch
Would not stand for fooling or hokum.
Before diddling a whore
With an oversize bore,
He would carefully caulk her with oakum.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0651
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