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A well-worn old harlot named Papp, There was a young lady named Fran, In his lab, an old scientist Cluck There a passionate lady of Yorrick, A bionic young hooker named Pitts There was a young lady named Hunt The box said "Takes 2 D-cell Batteries" There was a dry virgin named Hunt A couple, Johannson and Inga, I come from the grand Carolinas, A bedouin travelling to Qatr There was an old whore name of Tucker, Her ex asked her new love with scorn Maggie sat with her hand clamped on mine, In the days when I was a rover, Said Flo to her husband, refined, A bachelor fellow named Ramon "I am proud of my twat," bragged Rose Pride, "It A proverb of Tiglath-Pileser, Even though dicks make you balk, Said the vet, petting Kitty to quiet her, There was a young girl named Maxine, A gorgeous young girl, Dominique, There once was a woman of Britain, There was a young lady of Lincoln, (Published 1870)
The girl cautioned the English Professor I'll tell you the tale of young Skinner, Relax, dear, this won't hurt a bit. When ladies quite fancy a fiddle, If diddling the girls is your sport an' Doc Clary, reporting for duty, There was a French lady from Ghent, There are few who would screw or dispute any No matter if smooth or fuzzy, I remember a girl from Edina I think it's a shame and a pity To his bride said the farmer named Brickley, I sometimes go down to the gym; It was after the couple had dined, A blushing young bride who's named Candy, Her callers were shocked when Miss Moore On his wife, the old surgeon of Wheeling There was a young clit who instead, So big was the cunt of Miss Critchit, Said the young gardener, Dot, To his mate, as their parts separate The pussy's not much of a sight; A frigid young flapper from Bender There once was a young girl called Dot, There was an old fellow named Rapp, There was a young lady called Mippit, The mound on the lissome Ms. Willow, My favorite subject ain't farts; Young ladies on bikes can ride far I don't mind if a girl rides a helicopter, A mechanical horse at the Mall, Its smallness made boffing quite wretched. There was a young whore named Diana, (tanner - small British coin)
A much deformed lady named Scott A curious mammal's the beaver; A man with a miniature tool, As one with a similar affliction, An aesthetic young miss of Calcutta (printed 1881)
There was a young person of Smyrna, When queried, Miss Hatch down in Natchez, There once was a lady named Dot.
No longer the men could entrap.
So she studied the bores
Of successful young whores,
And did well after closing the gap.
--- Albin Chaplin
Had a short-peckered lover named Dan.
In bed the poor runt
Would fire up her cunt,
But she cooled it with an electric fan.
--- G2128
By a novel idea was struck,
So he worked night and day
To improve on the lay
By inventing a cunt that would suck.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0459
Whose temperature's always caloric.
As a general rule
She deep-fries a guy's tool.
For him, screwing her is historic!
--- Grand Prix Lim 078 G0820
Had unscrewable vulvas and tits:
Quite quickly detachable
And easily matchable,
A real treat for her johns -- perfect fits.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P2006
Who performed the unusual stunt
Of screwing by mail
When she was in jail,
For she had a detatchable cunt.
--- Isaac Asimov
"An odd crotch tattoo," thought Slattery.
"Well if that's what she wants,
To 'Energizer' cunt,
And keep going and going, what does it matter, Eh?"
--- John Chastaine
Who said, "Yes, I'm rough up in front."
But a man greased his borer
With Fnerk's Hair Restorer,
And gave her an ermine-lined cunt.
--- G1565
On the subject of sex loved to linga.
She said, "It is clear.
When you itch your own ear,
The latter feels best, not the finga."
--- Ogni Gioia
Where we know what to do with vaginas.
We sticks our rods in 'em
And fills 'em with gism,
And our dicks smell simply devina.
--- Mike Hunter
Was afraid that he'd run out of water.
But his worries were ended
When he filled his upended
Concubines, and his wives, and his daughter.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8407
Whose cunt had a curious pucker;
Easy in past the snout
But all hell to pull out.
Most thought is much safer to suck her.
--- Armand E Singer 268
If used merchandise had made him forlorn.
"Not at all," he replied,
"She's just like a new bride,
Once I get past the part that is worn."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410A
As the orchestra played "Auld Lang Syne."
"Now we've come," she said, "Joe,
Don't you think we should go?"
But my hand on hers felt too damn fine...
--- Grand Prix Lim 39
I boffed girls from Lands End to Dover.
The Welsh and the Scots
Have got beautiful twats,
But the Irish, ah there you're in clover!
--- Tony Burrell
I'm leaving, you're cruel and unkind."
He said to her, "Flo
I don't care if you go,
Just as long as your cunt stays behind."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0313
Would check before letting a dame in.
Of a girl, he asked, "Mary,
Do you still have your cherry?"
She said, "No, just the box that it came in."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0309
Is famed as the best far and wide; it
Charms men by the dozens,
Their uncles, their cousins:
You'll never know why till you tried it."
--- Armand E Singer 900
Assyrian king, lady-pleaser:
"Since pussy is flesh,
It must be kept fresh
By keeping it wrapped in the freezer."
--- Anon
And spunk will your crack never caulk,
I'll try this here line:
"It's largely divine;
A jumbo-sized clit on a stalk."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Your pussy has got a bit lighter."
"The vet was quite right,"
Said her lover that night,
"It also has got a bit tighter."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
Who found a new use for the bean.
As a vaginal bearing,
She found it long-wearing,
And it varied her fucking routine.
--- L1477
Had a pussy like milky Lalique...[thin china]
'Twas lovely and pale,
That creamy soft vale,
And displayed at a glazier's boutique.
--- Tutta Gioia
Whose pussy was as soft as a kitten.
When winter came round,
She quite quickly found
That her twat made a lovely warm mitten.
--- Anon a
Who said that her cunt was a pink 'un.
So she had a prick lent her
Which turned it magenta,
This artful old lady of Lincoln.
--- L0187
That he certainly didn't impress her...
But his hand in her snotch
Made her tick like a watch.
What happened, Man? You're a good guesser.
--- Grand Prix Lim 811
Whose wife warmed her quim 'stead of dinner.
When he find pubic hairs
From her sliding down stairs,
He'd know it was time to get in her.
--- Armand E Singer
I'll nibble a bit on this tit
And then my long finger
Will slide and then linger
On taint and on hole and on clit.
--- Archie
And lie on the bed for a diddle,
With which little finger
Do most of them linger;
The index, perhaps or the middle.
--- Peter Wilkins
It's hands only, then the least short an'
Stubby's the center
With which to indent her;
That's why it is known as the courtin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To keep you from cramping, my beauty;
You may rest on your back
While I snuggle your snack,
And rummage your rooty-toot-tootie.
--- Anon
Whose niche grew contorted, quite bent.
She then took up running;
This maid wasn't funning;
She hired it for mixing cement.
--- Atlas a
Of the claims of some dames from the Kootenay
As to moisture and size --
Although doubts could arise
Were they open to critical scrutiny.
--- Keith MacMillan 98a
This is file aul
As long as it isn't scuzzy.
It must be free
Of disease and debris,
And attached to a brazen hussy.
--- MrMalo
(Minnesota) who had a vagina
Like the one that you mention,
And it's true that the tension
Applied by that minge was much finah!
To marry a girl with small titty.
But worse that that
Is a nasty old cat,
Where there should be a tasty young kitty!
--- Mike M TP9802
As he fondled her cunt, sprouting thickly,
"Though it looks very nice,
We must pack it in ice.
I don't want it to ripen too quickly."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0058
For us guys it's a means to keep trim.
But for girls it's enough
To do pelvic floor stuff,
To improve on the tightness of quim.
--- Peter Wilkins a
That the fellow, being unkind,
Told the girl, "To be blunt,
You've your brains in your cunt!"
So she gave him a piece of her mind.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerA
With her quim was incredibly handy.
On her wedding night,
To her husband's delight,
She fill it with a pint of brandy.
--- Anon
Said, "My cat Joe and William adore.
They know I will grouse
Petting it in the house,
So they play with my pussy next door..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 552
Raised her cunt to a place more appealing.
So when licking her bore
He could rise off the floor
Thus avoiding the stigma of kneeling.
--- Albin Chaplin
Rubbed it with eggs by her head.
When it would rise,
She'd then crack her eyes,
And enjoy a wet breakfast in bed.
--- James
No man could allay what did itch it.
She had given up hope
Till, with tackle and rope,
An old sailor was able to stitch it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0428
"There's something I ponder a lot:
If I water my bush,
And prune it when lush,
Will that prevent the onset of rot?"
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
He sighed, "I can truthfully state
Not in ten thousand coozies
In ten thousand floozies,
Have I found one a millionth as great!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 700
To reveal it is thought impolite.
But the pussy appeals
In the way that it feels,
When you slide into mine in the night!
--- Anon
Suspected that nothing could sender,
Till one fall at a ball
She went clean up the wall
When a hand from the band touched her gender.
--- Hugh Oliver 85b
Whose cunny was smokingly hot.
A young lad called Mick,
Once burned off his dick.
Coincidence? Well, maybe not.
--- Anon
Whose job, all considered a snap.
In the insane asylum,
He'd grade cunts and file 'em,
And bi-weekly, rub up their nap.
--- L1717
Who kept in her cavern a clip. It
Kept quite secure
Each masculine skewer,
And the only excape was to snip it.
--- Prof
Is crowned with a lush fleecy billow,
Which her lovers have said,
Is superb to give head,
And chin such a soft wussy pillow.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9707
My favorite is girls' private parts.
They're perfect for filling,
Jeez they'd make a killing
If they sold them at all the Wal-Marts.
--- Anon
And their status with men is at par.
But when ladies ride straddle
On an old Western saddle,
It is stretching a good thing too far.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2040
I don't mind if a girl rides a car,
But the girl who rides straddle
An old fashioned saddle
Is stretching things a bit too far.
--- L0868
Lets pre-teen girls ride, proud and tall;
"Yippee yi"s , "yippee yoo's"
And they thump ring-dang-doo's;
The saddle-horn stretches 'em all!
--- Anon
So a new Vulvamatic I fetch-ed.
I heaved and I hoed
As, upon it, I rode
It until I was properly stretch-ed.
--- Anon
Who would have anyone for a tanner.
Amidst roars of applause,
She would let down her drawers,
And tighten her cunt with a spanner.
--- G1773
By young men was constantly sought.
Though her cunt was distorted
And strangely contorted,
Men were thrilled by the twist in her twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0611
Not the animal -- but the "receiver".
It's a great place to hide
A gent's sausage inside,
A grand prize for the overachiever!
--- Anon
Went to whore houses feeling the fool,
'Till he found an old gal
Who was deep as a well
And he jumped in her cunt, it was cool!
--- Anon
I know that this story's not fiction.
When I want to befoul 'em,
I use powdered alum
To give them the needed constriction.
--- Anon
Set all the men's hearts in a flutter.
He bubs were immense,
Her arse was intense,
And her cunt was too utterly utter!
--- G0282
Whose grandmother threatened to burn her;
But she seized on the cat,
And said, "Granny, burn that!"
(Warm pussy is always a winner.)
--- Edwardian Leer 032 P9306
Said, "Really, I know what a snatch is.
Whenever I itch
Down her in this niche,
My snatch is the patch where I scratches."
--- Pierce Evans
Who inserted a fly in her twat.
When you tickled her fuzz,
That fucker would buzz,
Until you glued its wings with a shot.
--- Mad Poet
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