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A cute lady-soldier named Kay, I fell into that twat, late last year, A voluptuous lady from Crete "Oh Jack," said the lady from Crete, In the cunt of the lady from Crete, From Jack's chewing, the lady from Crete "Hey Jack," asked the lady from Crete, Jack replied to the lady from Crete, While Jack spoke to the lady from Crete, Now the lady from Crete and her Jack Do you think she could put them all back, Looking down, I muttered "Oh swell!" The image is stuck in my mind; Fred fucked the fat circus star. A daring young midget named Shore, A cavernous lady was Gwen; Some women just don't rate, Today I sat down in Nell's lap, An oversized wife had young Mort; There once was a blushing young bride, But my love was a poor little Kraut Oh Dammit, Oh dammit to Hell Poor things if you all lost your way I cannot imagine how Nell There was a young maiden named Marge, Twenty thousand leagues under the sea, There was a young lady of Thrace Down in Dixie a lecherous trollop A New Brunswiker, down in Saint John, Ma'am, refund my money with haste; Well sir, please do not take that view; Three old maids, fighting Canada's cold, So the first Canuck spinster said: "See, Then the second old maid did declare: But the third old maid started to croon: There once was a fellow named Roy An ailing young fellow from Cayce There's a charming young girl in Tobruk, There was a young woman of Surrey There was a young lady named Corrie, We recall with the fondest of ease, There was a young lady named Scott Chelsea's mother, she's not got a quim? There was an old whore from the Ruhr There was a fat lady of China, There was a young lady named Dinah, There was a neurotic named Bloom Said the sailors mounting her gunwale, There was a young lady named Brent, (You could go camping inside, provided you brot yr own tent)
Excuse me, madam, It's my duty. Oh my, what do we have here? There is a strange song, writ of old, A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket, Inserting one's sex in Miss Mavern A young gynecologist named Slater, In Texas, a whore named Big Della Well, that must be one pretty sight, The council is warning Hortense "If Hortense refuses a smidge When you spread your legs open wide, There once was a lady named Summer; A young lady wept, for her cunt, There was a young lady whose thighs, Though my first explanation met failure A cavernous lady was Strand; There was a young lady named Glubb, Big Bertha said to a young renter,
Had a hole that was three foot each way.
During sex, Sergeant Quinn
Accidently fell in,
And has since been declared "M.I.A."
--- Quilis
When a friendly voice said, "Have no fear,
Help me search, if you please,
And when we find my keys,
I can drive both of us out of here."
--- Scott Cramer
Had a cunt that was wide as a street.
While fondling her crack,
A fellow named Jack
Fell in, to the soles of his feet!
--- Wormdirt TP9804
"You really should be more discreet.
It's too easy to spot
That you're stuck in my twat."
As she said this, she pushed in his feet.
--- Wormdirt TP9804
Jack had almost passed out from the heat.
"She won't hear if I shout,
So I'll gnaw my way out."
And so saying, he started to eat.
--- Wormdirt TP9804
Had an orgasmic surge so complete,
Jack was carried outside
On the spasming tide...
A surfacing diver, replete.
--- Wormdirt TP9804
"While inside, did you happen to meet
A biker named Charley?
He can't find his Harley,
Which he parked in my cunt...What a treat!"
--- Wormdirt TP9804
"I was too busy eating your meat,
To check out any guys;
But your cunt has the size
To contain a platoon or a fleet."
--- Wormdirt TP9804
From her cunt came a thundering beat,
And the Harley zoomed out.
She said, "I have no doubt;
Just my monthly cycle complete."
--- Wormdirt TP9804
And the cyclist, with Harley so black,
Were hitting the road,
When she dropped a new load --
An equestrian, pony, and tack.
--- CB TP9804
If all four of them now hit the sack?
Maybe she could fit more
(Like say Dave with his whore)
If she gave a good whack to the stack!
--- CB TP9804
'Cause her labia was pierced all to hell.
As her eyes started tearing,
"It's not just the earring,
But the ear attached to it as well!"
--- John Chastaine
I see him crawling 'round blind.
"Get me a lamp;
It's dark and it's damp.
Where's that rope! How will I find...find...find
--- Karen
She climaxed and sucked him in far.
While groping around
He met the lead clown.
"Don't worry. Just look for my car!"
--- Kim Goldsworthy P8407
Went to bed with a very large whore.
And, God rest his soul!
He fell into the hole,
Screamed twice, and was heard from no more.
--- G2053
Her cunt was so big, now and then
Her purse she would lose,
And sometimes her shoes,
And one time she lost her friend Ben.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0467
He observed after only one date.
Her snatch was so wide,
He got lost inside --
Now ain't that a horrible fate?
--- Stan
Between her huge legs was a gap,
Which then opened wide
And I fell inside;
I found my way out with a map!
--- Anon
Her cunt was as big as a quart.
But he managed to fuck her
With the help of a trucker,
And a safety belt held for support.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0546
Whose cunt was enormously wide.
To give her good head,
The man that she wed
Needs a lantern, two ropes, and a guide.
--- Jean Chapeau T9711a
Who fell in as we're thashing about!
And I know from the sound
As he rattles around,
That he still hasn't found his way out!"
--- Vassar W Smith P9307
I slipped into Bertha and fell.
As around me I peer,
I see that I'm here
With Tiddy and Peter and Nell.
--- Anon
In Bertha, For sure it's okay
To grumble and grudge,
But as far's I can judge,
It's best you're enjoying your stay.
--- Anon
Fell into this singular Hell.
But maybe she followed
Us in and got swallowed,
And maybe, so too, did Michelle?
--- Anon
Who swam in the nude from a barge.
'Til a man in a punt
Disappeared up her cunt,
An organ admittedly large.
--- G0400
Seems pretty deep,if you ask me.
But my girlfriend's peeper
Is 12 leagues deeper,
And in it, you scuba for free!
--- Anon
Whose cunt was a cavernous place.
When she married young Phipps,
He stepped in to his hips,
And she took up the slack with a lace.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0628
Said, "My crack packs a helluva wallop!
You may think it's funny,
But it's dangerous, Sonny,
For it's likely to swallow you-all up!"
--- G0473
Was caressed by his girl on the lawn,
And with consummate skill
She engulfed him until,
With a giggle and gasp, he was gone.
--- Keith MacMillan 34b
Your pussy is not to my taste.
I have a small belly.
So when I gave you some 'welly',
You swallowed me up past my waist.
--- Peter Wilkins
I'll explain my charges to you.
I charge by the inch;
So it may make you flinch,
But more money still, will be due.
--- Peter Wilkins
Sipped on sherry, which made them get bold.
Pretty soon, each old bunny
Did brag 'bout her cunny,
Its size and how much it would hold!
--- Allen Wolverton
Looky here! Mine's as big as the sea;
Any ship can drop anchor,
A liner or tanker;
I'll tell you they can't bother me!"
--- Allen Wolverton
This is file apl
"And so what? Mine's as big as the air;
The whole air force can roar
In and not touch a sore;
And they don't even ruffle a hair!"
--- Allen Wolverton
"Ladies, mine's as big as the moon;
Last New Year's a Scot
Stumbled into my twat,
And didn't come out until June!
--- Allen Wolverton
Who inserted a rather large toy.
He couldn't believe it
When he went to retrieve it,
For he pulled out two men and a boy.
--- Anon
Tried actively hard to keep pace,
And one lusty night
With squeals of delight,
He vanished right up without trace.
--- Hugh Oliver A107A
Who refers to her quiff as a nook.
It's deep and it's wide,
You can curl up inside,
With a nice easy-chair and a book.
--- L0248
Who wanted to piss in a hurry.
She went 'round the back
And opened her crack,
And a fellow backed in with his lorry.
--- G1468
Who pissed in her pants, and was sorry.
She lay on her back
And opened her crack,
And a fellow backed in with a lorry.
--- Hugh McDonald
The front aperture of Louise.
'Twas shaped like a funnel;
'Twas large as a tunnel,
With space for a flying trapeze.
--- Anon
Whose cunt was as big as a yacht.
When she died they all prayed
But the rites were delayed,
For the coffin was lost in her twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0612
I heard it's so deep you could swim
The hundred-yard dash
From cervix to gash,
And even contains its own gym.
--- Anon
Whose cunt was as big as a sewer.
If five men got together,
With hip boots for bad weather,
They could go on a Cook's guided tour.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0592
Who had an enormous vagina.
And when she was dead
They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.
--- L0141
Who had the world's largest vagina.
She filled it with rocks
To keep out the cocks;
In the end, she married a miner.
--- Kevin's Limerick Page a
Who wished to return to the womb.
Having plenty of scratch,
He rented a snatch,
And had it fixed up as a room.
--- G2262
"This ain't no cunt, it's a manhole!"
But soon her life was complete,
For she tripped in the street,
And a motorist detoured through the tunnel.
--- Lims For Year - 01
With a cunt of enourmous extent,
And so deep and so wide,
The acoustics inside
Were so good you could hear when you spent.
--- L0134
It's not just because you're a beauty.
So please open wide
While I poke 'round inside,
Just in case you've stashed dope up your cutie.
--- F Ormatsee
You've heroin plugging your rear.
And here in your gash,
Fourteen bags of hash.
Was this carry-on luggage, my dear?
--- S C Saint
That lists what one tart's cunt will hold:
There's battleships, dukws*,
Tanks, field guns and trucks,
And Wellington bombers we're told.
--- Anon
Had a hole as big as a basket.
A spot, as a bride,
In it now, you could hide,
And include with your luggage, your mascot.
--- L0251
Is like poking a cane in a cavern.
Were it in my possession,
I would rent a concession:
What a place to install a big tavern!
--- G0403
While inspecting his fiance's mater,
Cried aloud, "Oh, dear me,
What is this that I see?
I believe I've discovered Judge Crater."
--- Anon
Is friend to a clever young fella;
Each day when it's hot,
She spreads her huge twat
And makes him a shady umbrella.
--- Travis Brasell
And the smell, I am sure, is just right.
In all of that heat,
Her pretty pink meat
Must be a fisherman's delight.
--- Carol
That in view of her twat-hole immense,
Which is marked on their maps
As a hazard, perhaps
She'd erect a perimeter fence.
--- Peter Wilkins
To erect a fence 'round her twat ridge,"
Said Councilman Smee.
"She must use plan B
And span her huge gorge with a bridge.
--- Travis Brasell
Your internal organs can't hide.
We could pave all the hair
To save wear and tear,
And park the Mercedes inside.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose cunt was as big as Hummer.
It was nine feet deep
And the sides were quite steep;
Trying to screw her was really a bummer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Could hold a small launch and a punt.
Her mother barked, "Annie,
It matches your fanny,
Which never was that of a runt."
--- L0148
When spread showed a slit of such size,
And so deep and so wide,
You could play cards inside,
Much to her bridegrooms surprise.
--- L0246
And further attempts made you quail, yah?
And the hole's getting big
I'll continue to dig
Who knows? I might yet reach Austrailia
--- Anon
Her cunt, without question, was grand.
There was room for a fridge
And four tables for bridge,
And a place for a symphony band.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0625
Whose cunt was as big as a tub.
There was a room for her groom
With a mop and a broom,
And some space for an evergreen shrub.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0344
"If you need a place for the winter
That's roomy and hot,
Then stay in my twat;
Just look for the sign that says 'Enter'."
--- Travis Brasell
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