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Young Lock felt the need of God's grace,
So in Natchez, in church, took his place.
There he fondled his cock
And delighted the flock
When it sang both soprano and bass.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0555

The lady of Natchez came there
And both of her snatches did bare.
The whole congregation
Sang hymns with elation
While the Bishop was blessing the pair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0556

On the altar, the lady of Natchez
Lay down to show Lock her two snatches.
And his two-headed prod
Sang with glory to God,
While she measured to see how it matches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0557

Lock plunged in his two-pronged erection;
It fit the two cunts to perfection.
While the organist played,
The young lady got laid,
And the Bishop observed with affection.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0558

There was an old whore of Hong Kong
Who always attracted a throng.
'Twas her fortune, so rare,
To be born with a spare,
A reserve in case something went wrong.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0473

It seems that a girl with two cunts
Had failed to find two-peckered runts.
So she tried this instructor,
And so quickly he fucked her,
That he fucked both her pussies at once.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0444

A young man who lived in Khartoum,
Was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer,
That the human vagina,
So he kept three or four in his room.
--- L1456

A joyful young lady named Brenda
Was born with a double pudenda.
This made her so rigorous,
You had to be vigorous,
Or you couldn't get on her agenda.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0264

'Twas a girl named Laura McTore,
Who was world renowned as a whore.
Her breasts were runts,
But she had fifteen cunts,
She could service a whole team and more.
--- Lims For Year - 01

Andrea has a body that just doesn't quit;
A tight little ass and big nice round tits.
And from the waist down,
Well here's what I found:
Three sets of labia and fourteen-odd clits.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

There once was a nude girl named Minah,
Conceived, born and raised in China.
When she smiled you would find
She had four of a kind:
Two each on her face and vagina.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A well-endowed woman named Dole
Possessed a unique second hole,
But finding a lover
With two pricks, to shove her,
Proved quite an unreachable goal.
--- Armand E Singer 281

A peculiar young lady named Hunt
Has cunts both behind and in front.
She's hot for coition
In any position
That the hard-peckered try for a stunt.
--- G0366

I love anything that is Poly...
Merry Zation or Morphus, by golly!
But mulitple clits
Have great benefits
As you'd see in my Poly-Cum Dolly.
--- Anon

The intrepid explorer named Hame
Found that pussies were not all the same.
There were cunts just for licking
And some others for sticking,
And some cunts to be fucked in great shame.
--- Albin Chaplin

A girl with two snatches named Plum
Left a lad so confused, he was numb.
What bothered him so --
He knew where to go,
But he never knew where he should come.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0584

There once was a redneck called Jim
Who liked his girls fat more than slim.
"If she's bigger, she's better;
If she's tubby, I'll get her;
Because big girls have a multiple quim.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The yen of a young man of Spruntz,
For girls with four tits and two cunts,
Is both childish and silly,
When you think, willy-nilly,
He can only fuck one cunt, just once!
--- G2518

There's a young Yiddish slut with two cunts,
Whose pleasure in life is to pruntz.
When one pireg is shot,
There's that alternate twat,
But the ausgefuckt male merely grunts.
--- L0149

There once was a horse named Lily
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
It was vaginoid duply,
And labial quadruply--
In fact, he was really a filly.
--- L0184

It seems that a harlot in Natchez
Was blessed from birth with two snatches.
With half her appliance
She services clients,
The other is stuffed with book matches.
--- G0410

Said an indigent hooker from Natchez,
"I believe I see not what the catch is:
There is no way in the world
That a half-decent girl'd
Become wealthy with less than two snatches."
--- Armand E Singer 44

My aunty did carnival stunts;
She was born with thirteen cunts.
With that many snatches,
She'd fuck men in batches.
Not bad for a two foot tall runt.
--- RGB Writer

I once met a three-breasted slut,
Who had two cracks in her butt.
But the best part to me
Was the fact that she
Had TWO really tight cuts.
--- Possum TP9802

Sweet Emily's so tight when I'm fuckiner;
Sometimes I think I'm stuckiner.
The opposite's true
Of a gal I'll call Lou,
So loose I'll just take a tuckiner.
--- Sam Pittman TP9804

It was with delectation that Fred
Took a girl with three pussies to bed.
"Though my aim was to diddle
The one in the middle,
I tripled my pleasure," he said.
--- William N Nesbit P9607a

A joyful young lady named Brenda
Was born with a double pudenda.
An old bishop named Lew
Split his pecker in two,
And he fucked her in his hacienda.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0989

A prosperous merchant of Rhone,
Took orders for cunt on the phone.
The same could be baled,
Stamped, labeled, and mailed,
To a limited parcel-post zone.
--- L1051

The Queen of burlesque, Pussy Hunt,
Could whistle show tunes through her cunt.
But a close investigation
Proved Pussy's vocation
Was just a ventriloquist's stunt.
--- G2369

Another young lady named Hunt,
Could smoke a cigar with her cunt.
"Smoking stunts growth,"
She proclaimed with an oath,
Giving birth one fine day, to a runt.
--- G2370

A coloratura, Miss Bing,
Has taught her vagina to sing.
With one voice sonorous,
Her antipnonal chorus
Much pleasure to patrons does bring.
--- Al Chaplin P8602

There was a young lady of Ypres
Who was shot in the ass by some snipers.
When she vented her air
Through the holes that were there,
She confounded the Cameron Pipers
--- Archie

The naked girls' choir down in Nachez
Sing out, proudly showing their thatches.
And old deaf Bill Rose
Sneaks up very close,
To manage to catch a few snatches.

This is file anl

Such beauty! Such rhythm! Such wit!
A winner in this pile of shit!
So who would have guessed
That we would be blessed
With humor this good...from a Brit!
--- John Miller

Well yes, John, it came from a Brit.
Alas though, I have to admit,
With pride I can't crow,
The joke, you should know,
Is what BBC dared to transmit.

She sits with a cat with no purr,
So I puts me hand on her fur.
And I pokes and provokes
And I coaxes and strokes
'Til her pussy commences to whirrrr....
--- Brian Belge

Talking pussy, what a concept my dear!
That's something I'd sure like to hear!
With my old lady's twat,
I can pump it a lot,
And it will do a spiffy Bronx cheer!
--- Anon

Some ladies have feminine arts,
That give to them musical parts.
Especially if humping
With doggy-style pumping,
They'll generate vaginal farts.
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Harrow
Whose cunt was exceedinly narrow;
To tight for a midget,
A tampon, or digit,
But just the right width for a sparrow.
--- Peter Wilkins

The young lady from Harrow was sweet;
She could do an impressive feat.
Folks would come by the board
And would never be bored,
By a cunt that could go tweet-tweet!
--- Kristen

A teacher of language, Miss Flock,
Had taught her vagina to talk.
And it managed by rote
An old biblical quote,
And could sing a few snatches by Bach.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0450

A lady whose surname was Blore,
Had a snatch that had learned how to snore.
Some boyfriends just wept,
When from sleep they were kept;
But some woke it, and had an encore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a girl named Veronica
Whose vagina was like a harmonica.
When blown the right way (When properly handled,)
The darn thing would play (And diddled and dandled,)
A solo for Jew's harp on Chanukah.

(It played Beethoven's Seventh Symphonica.)
--- G0920

This tale may be somewhat absurd,
But this is the story I heard --
When a cunt learned to speak,
It said, "Mouth!" with a shriek,
Which to cunts is the dirtiest word.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1919

Vagina Monologues, critics say "see",
But I don't know how that could be.
They've had many chances
While exploring girls' pantses;
No vagina ever talked to me.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208

The lady in Saudi Arabia
Had such perfect control of her labia,
She could slap them together
To play Stormy Weather,
And the latest pop tunes from Australia.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

There was an old whore from Madras,
Who was bushed with a liner of brass.
When you clappered the bell,
She would tinkle like hell,
And played the bass notes with her ass.
--- G1421

There was a young lady of Wells
Whose cervix was festooned with bells.
Whenever she'd come
Her vagina would hum,
Just like the Bolero -- Ravel's.
--- G0484

There was a young girl named McNerd,
Whose cunt was the strangest, one heard.
It would cheep and would cluck
And right after a fuck,
It would twitter and sing like a bird!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0542a

She shrieked and then beat her bare breast;
She said, "Hump me, I'm truly impressed.
With his dick in her dock,
He caused her to rock
And singing came out of her nest!
--- Lo and Behold T9707

A new act from over the seas;
Her performance is certain to please.
She taught her vagina
To sing "Carolina",
And for her finale she pees.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0502

A damsel who lives at The Springs,
Had a maidenhead ripped into strings,
By a hidious Kurd,
And now, she averred,
"When the wind blows through it, it sings."
--- L1638

There was a soprano from Reggio,
Whose cunt was trained in solfeggio.
One day a contraction
Caused such a reaction,
She pissed, and missed an arpeggio!

(solfeggio - do re me scale exercises)
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Dee,
Whose hymen was split into three.
And when she was diddled,
The middle string fiddled,
"Nearer, My God, To Thee."
--- G1539

A disc jockey who's named Louise,
Had a cunt with a sucking disease.
One night it got wet,
And I lost a cassette,
An eight-track, and twenty CD's.
--- Eddie

A maiden who lived in Virginny,
Had a cunt that could neigh, bark, and whinny.
The hunting set rushed her,
Fucked, buggered and crushed her,
When the pitch of her organ went tinny.
--- L0257

There was a young girl of Angina
Who stretched catgut across her vagina.
From the love-making dock,
With the proper sized cock,
Came Tocata and Fugue in D Minor.
--- Anon

A debutante whose name was Karen,
With only one fault that was glare'n,
I "knew' her quite well (wink)
Though with her, I would sink.
Whispers I'd hear. Too much air "in".
--- Anon

Karen was a generous hostess.
Although the sounds I rarely noticed,
My ears were pinned tightly
Which was about nightly,
By legs which I wore like a poultice.
--- Anon

In the violin section Miss Hunt
Rubbed her twat with her bow out in front.
The conductor, in shock,
Waved the knob of his cock,
And sweet music poured out of her cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0480

The ventriloquist, young Mrs. Scott,
She could throw out her voice from her twat;
Hard-of-hearing Joe Funt
Put his ear to her cunt,
Then looked up, as he said to her, "What?"
--- Cap'n Bean P9912

A boyfriend of hers once did weep,
When her cunt it did talk in its sleep.
He thought for a while
Then started to smile,
As he lifted the covers to peep.
--- R F Bardsley

I've a trick could earn a fortune,
For by angling the lips with a spoon,
And arching my back
To lengthen my crack,
I can get it to whistle a tune.
--- Anon a

There was a young lady from Brussels,
Who was proud of her vaginal muscles.
She could easily plex them,
And so interflex them,
As to whistle love songs through her bustles.
--- L0136

A young girl from North Carolina,
Had a very capricious vagina.
To the shock of the fucker,
'Twould suddenly pucker,
And whistle the chorus of "Dinah".
--- L0139

Typhoid Mary my friends did dub her;
Everybody started to snub her.
We tried safe sex,
But our plan was vexed;
After penetration I smelled burning rubber.
--- Archie

A pickup line's always a hurdle,
So I tried out a new one on Myrtle
By asking her blunt,
"Can I smell your cunt?"
"Don't think so; I'm wearing a girdle."
--- Hugh Clary


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