Young Lock felt the need of God's grace, The lady of Natchez came there On the altar, the lady of Natchez Lock plunged in his two-pronged erection; There was an old whore of Hong Kong It seems that a girl with two cunts A young man who lived in Khartoum, A joyful young lady named Brenda 'Twas a girl named Laura McTore, Andrea has a body that just doesn't quit; There once was a nude girl named Minah, A well-endowed woman named Dole A peculiar young lady named Hunt I love anything that is Poly... The intrepid explorer named Hame A girl with two snatches named Plum There once was a redneck called Jim The yen of a young man of Spruntz, There's a young Yiddish slut with two cunts, There once was a horse named Lily It seems that a harlot in Natchez Said an indigent hooker from Natchez, My aunty did carnival stunts; I once met a three-breasted slut, Sweet Emily's so tight when I'm fuckiner; It was with delectation that Fred A joyful young lady named Brenda A prosperous merchant of Rhone, The Queen of burlesque, Pussy Hunt, Another young lady named Hunt, A coloratura, Miss Bing, There was a young lady of Ypres The naked girls' choir down in Nachez
This is file anl
Such beauty! Such rhythm! Such wit! Well yes, John, it came from a Brit. She sits with a cat with no purr, Talking pussy, what a concept my dear! Some ladies have feminine arts, There was a young lady from Harrow The young lady from Harrow was sweet; A teacher of language, Miss Flock, A lady whose surname was Blore, There once was a girl named Veronica (It played Beethoven's Seventh Symphonica.)
This tale may be somewhat absurd, Vagina Monologues, critics say "see", The lady in Saudi Arabia There was an old whore from Madras, There was a young lady of Wells There was a young girl named McNerd, She shrieked and then beat her bare breast; A new act from over the seas; A damsel who lives at The Springs, There was a soprano from Reggio, (solfeggio - do re me scale exercises)
There was a young lady from Dee, A disc jockey who's named Louise, A maiden who lived in Virginny, There was a young girl of Angina A debutante whose name was Karen, Karen was a generous hostess. In the violin section Miss Hunt The ventriloquist, young Mrs. Scott, A boyfriend of hers once did weep, I've a trick could earn a fortune, There was a young lady from Brussels, A young girl from North Carolina, Typhoid Mary my friends did dub her; A pickup line's always a hurdle,
So in Natchez, in church, took his place.
There he fondled his cock
And delighted the flock
When it sang both soprano and bass.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0555
And both of her snatches did bare.
The whole congregation
Sang hymns with elation
While the Bishop was blessing the pair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0556
Lay down to show Lock her two snatches.
And his two-headed prod
Sang with glory to God,
While she measured to see how it matches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0557
It fit the two cunts to perfection.
While the organist played,
The young lady got laid,
And the Bishop observed with affection.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0558
Who always attracted a throng.
'Twas her fortune, so rare,
To be born with a spare,
A reserve in case something went wrong.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0473
Had failed to find two-peckered runts.
So she tried this instructor,
And so quickly he fucked her,
That he fucked both her pussies at once.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0444
Was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer,
That the human vagina,
So he kept three or four in his room.
--- L1456
Was born with a double pudenda.
This made her so rigorous,
You had to be vigorous,
Or you couldn't get on her agenda.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0264
Who was world renowned as a whore.
Her breasts were runts,
But she had fifteen cunts,
She could service a whole team and more.
--- Lims For Year - 01
A tight little ass and big nice round tits.
And from the waist down,
Well here's what I found:
Three sets of labia and fourteen-odd clits.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Conceived, born and raised in China.
When she smiled you would find
She had four of a kind:
Two each on her face and vagina.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Possessed a unique second hole,
But finding a lover
With two pricks, to shove her,
Proved quite an unreachable goal.
--- Armand E Singer 281
Has cunts both behind and in front.
She's hot for coition
In any position
That the hard-peckered try for a stunt.
--- G0366
Merry Zation or Morphus, by golly!
But mulitple clits
Have great benefits
As you'd see in my Poly-Cum Dolly.
--- Anon
Found that pussies were not all the same.
There were cunts just for licking
And some others for sticking,
And some cunts to be fucked in great shame.
--- Albin Chaplin
Left a lad so confused, he was numb.
What bothered him so --
He knew where to go,
But he never knew where he should come.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0584
Who liked his girls fat more than slim.
"If she's bigger, she's better;
If she's tubby, I'll get her;
Because big girls have a multiple quim.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For girls with four tits and two cunts,
Is both childish and silly,
When you think, willy-nilly,
He can only fuck one cunt, just once!
--- G2518
Whose pleasure in life is to pruntz.
When one pireg is shot,
There's that alternate twat,
But the ausgefuckt male merely grunts.
--- L0149
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
It was vaginoid duply,
And labial quadruply--
In fact, he was really a filly.
--- L0184
Was blessed from birth with two snatches.
With half her appliance
She services clients,
The other is stuffed with book matches.
--- G0410
"I believe I see not what the catch is:
There is no way in the world
That a half-decent girl'd
Become wealthy with less than two snatches."
--- Armand E Singer 44
She was born with thirteen cunts.
With that many snatches,
She'd fuck men in batches.
Not bad for a two foot tall runt.
--- RGB Writer
Who had two cracks in her butt.
But the best part to me
Was the fact that she
Had TWO really tight cuts.
--- Possum TP9802
Sometimes I think I'm stuckiner.
The opposite's true
Of a gal I'll call Lou,
So loose I'll just take a tuckiner.
--- Sam Pittman TP9804
Took a girl with three pussies to bed.
"Though my aim was to diddle
The one in the middle,
I tripled my pleasure," he said.
--- William N Nesbit P9607a
Was born with a double pudenda.
An old bishop named Lew
Split his pecker in two,
And he fucked her in his hacienda.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0989
Took orders for cunt on the phone.
The same could be baled,
Stamped, labeled, and mailed,
To a limited parcel-post zone.
--- L1051
Could whistle show tunes through her cunt.
But a close investigation
Proved Pussy's vocation
Was just a ventriloquist's stunt.
--- G2369
Could smoke a cigar with her cunt.
"Smoking stunts growth,"
She proclaimed with an oath,
Giving birth one fine day, to a runt.
--- G2370
Has taught her vagina to sing.
With one voice sonorous,
Her antipnonal chorus
Much pleasure to patrons does bring.
--- Al Chaplin P8602
Who was shot in the ass by some snipers.
When she vented her air
Through the holes that were there,
She confounded the Cameron Pipers
--- Archie
Sing out, proudly showing their thatches.
And old deaf Bill Rose
Sneaks up very close,
To manage to catch a few snatches.
A winner in this pile of shit!
So who would have guessed
That we would be blessed
With humor this good...from a Brit!
--- John Miller
Alas though, I have to admit,
With pride I can't crow,
The joke, you should know,
Is what BBC dared to transmit.
So I puts me hand on her fur.
And I pokes and provokes
And I coaxes and strokes
'Til her pussy commences to whirrrr....
--- Brian Belge
That's something I'd sure like to hear!
With my old lady's twat,
I can pump it a lot,
And it will do a spiffy Bronx cheer!
--- Anon
That give to them musical parts.
Especially if humping
With doggy-style pumping,
They'll generate vaginal farts.
--- Anon
Whose cunt was exceedinly narrow;
To tight for a midget,
A tampon, or digit,
But just the right width for a sparrow.
--- Peter Wilkins
She could do an impressive feat.
Folks would come by the board
And would never be bored,
By a cunt that could go tweet-tweet!
--- Kristen
Had taught her vagina to talk.
And it managed by rote
An old biblical quote,
And could sing a few snatches by Bach.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0450
Had a snatch that had learned how to snore.
Some boyfriends just wept,
When from sleep they were kept;
But some woke it, and had an encore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose vagina was like a harmonica.
When blown the right way (When properly handled,)
The darn thing would play (And diddled and dandled,)
A solo for Jew's harp on Chanukah.
--- G0920
But this is the story I heard --
When a cunt learned to speak,
It said, "Mouth!" with a shriek,
Which to cunts is the dirtiest word.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1919
But I don't know how that could be.
They've had many chances
While exploring girls' pantses;
No vagina ever talked to me.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
Had such perfect control of her labia,
She could slap them together
To play Stormy Weather,
And the latest pop tunes from Australia.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Who was bushed with a liner of brass.
When you clappered the bell,
She would tinkle like hell,
And played the bass notes with her ass.
--- G1421
Whose cervix was festooned with bells.
Whenever she'd come
Her vagina would hum,
Just like the Bolero -- Ravel's.
--- G0484
Whose cunt was the strangest, one heard.
It would cheep and would cluck
And right after a fuck,
It would twitter and sing like a bird!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0542a
She said, "Hump me, I'm truly impressed.
With his dick in her dock,
He caused her to rock
And singing came out of her nest!
--- Lo and Behold T9707
Her performance is certain to please.
She taught her vagina
To sing "Carolina",
And for her finale she pees.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0502
Had a maidenhead ripped into strings,
By a hidious Kurd,
And now, she averred,
"When the wind blows through it, it sings."
--- L1638
Whose cunt was trained in solfeggio.
One day a contraction
Caused such a reaction,
She pissed, and missed an arpeggio!
--- Anon
Whose hymen was split into three.
And when she was diddled,
The middle string fiddled,
"Nearer, My God, To Thee."
--- G1539
Had a cunt with a sucking disease.
One night it got wet,
And I lost a cassette,
An eight-track, and twenty CD's.
--- Eddie
Had a cunt that could neigh, bark, and whinny.
The hunting set rushed her,
Fucked, buggered and crushed her,
When the pitch of her organ went tinny.
--- L0257
Who stretched catgut across her vagina.
From the love-making dock,
With the proper sized cock,
Came Tocata and Fugue in D Minor.
--- Anon
With only one fault that was glare'n,
I "knew' her quite well (wink)
Though with her, I would sink.
Whispers I'd hear. Too much air "in".
--- Anon
Although the sounds I rarely noticed,
My ears were pinned tightly
Which was about nightly,
By legs which I wore like a poultice.
--- Anon
Rubbed her twat with her bow out in front.
The conductor, in shock,
Waved the knob of his cock,
And sweet music poured out of her cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0480
She could throw out her voice from her twat;
Hard-of-hearing Joe Funt
Put his ear to her cunt,
Then looked up, as he said to her, "What?"
--- Cap'n Bean P9912
When her cunt it did talk in its sleep.
He thought for a while
Then started to smile,
As he lifted the covers to peep.
--- R F Bardsley
For by angling the lips with a spoon,
And arching my back
To lengthen my crack,
I can get it to whistle a tune.
--- Anon a
Who was proud of her vaginal muscles.
She could easily plex them,
And so interflex them,
As to whistle love songs through her bustles.
--- L0136
Had a very capricious vagina.
To the shock of the fucker,
'Twould suddenly pucker,
And whistle the chorus of "Dinah".
--- L0139
Everybody started to snub her.
We tried safe sex,
But our plan was vexed;
After penetration I smelled burning rubber.
--- Archie
So I tried out a new one on Myrtle
By asking her blunt,
"Can I smell your cunt?"
"Don't think so; I'm wearing a girdle."
--- Hugh Clary