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Agreed, for her age, she fucked well, She's been wanking and screwing for weeks. At college she thought she would die. A bashful young girl from Podunk, (hope for the soul or soap for the hole? - McW)
So smelly a lady was Gorth There once was a girl named Dinah, A forthright young fellow named Rinky, There once was a girl named Michelle, Sighed a cute little wench named Fanny, There was a young stripling from Selma, A lady by named of Delores A lonely old maid name of Kate Her ass, claimed a lady named Clarabelle, This crew was taught by Miss Skelly, A beautiful woman from Kent A lover of poontang named Cliff, When Caesar was dating Miss Kelter, As he entered her muff for a dive, You can always spot ladies whose kicks You know you will do me a favour, Linda was one ugly beast; The scent of dear sweet little Betty The lady next door has invented There once was a girl, Brenda Murray, There once was a girl, Brenda Murray, After humping this girl, Ms Murray, There once was a girl named Dolores, I once met a lass near Loch Moynt, When south of the border you wander, O how lush are the scents of Khartoum! Uncle Leon gave me this advice, A rose is a rose is a rose A rose is a rose he reckons, A whiff of her natural scent, I heard Vicky's moans on the air, This pretty pink meat doesn't smell I love the smell of fresh roses; I think she'll strike a nice pose, Fermenting, my pussy did stank In Texas, I sniffed your strong essence; Guys will line up to get a nice taste So that you may savor the taste, I'd happily drink from the rent Randog, you'd drink from the well No wonder the French mistress hates A tuna fish salad for lunch, Now her regular boyfriend has flown, Last week she was fired from her job, For twenty four hours a day, A carefree young playboy named Randall I was so enamoured with Randall Sir Tristram on leave found his lustiness Sir Tristam, aroused by the trustiness I'll warn you here, lads, about Jane, A naughty old lady of Spain A lecherous whore from Swoboda There was a young lady from Kent She'd shove in some yeast and some water, Frank roams through the streets of New York There once was a golfer named Satch, A cutie, she played mandolin, There once was a chick named Nicole, The lovers of young Mrs. Ray There once was a woman named Stickle, The frustrated lady named Eva Some people are luckier than me.
But Jesus, what was that smell?
I'm too old to cum
So I pucker my bum
And each time more wastes I expel.
No wonder her bedroom it reeks!
It would not be ridiculous
If she was a tad more meticulous
And occasionally wiped off her cheeks!
She just couldn't attract any guy.
She gave priority
To her sorority;
She was the sweetheart of Smegma Chi
--- Tom Patton P0412
Her very first dance she did flunk.
With her soul full of hope,
She had used the wrong soap,
And so simply sat there and stunk.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0162
That for screwing, no man would come forth.
But a man got the best of her
As he stayed to the West of her,
While there blew a stiff breeze for the North.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2880
Who had a smelly vagina.
It stunk and it reeked.
When you fucked it, it squeaked:
"How do you like the vagina of mine-uh."
--- CASPIAN@GATE.NET
In a pussy inserted his pinkie.
Then his finger he sniffed,
And he said, somewhat miffed,
"I don't fuck a quiff that is stinky."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1741
Whose crack had a horrible smell.
And when she did spread,
The first thought in my head,
Was "WHEW! Yo quiero Taco Bell!!"
--- Anon
"I've the teats and the ass and the fanny.
But the men that I seek, (Plus the yen, but the men)
Will take barely a peek. (Only call now and then--)
Could it be that I stink in my cranny?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 445 G1525
Who sucked off his mother, named Thelma.
"I never did dream
A cunt held so much cream,
But God! what a terrible smell, ma!
--- G0906
Was possessed by a smelly clitoris.
When loving her there,
Her lover would stare,
Then go out and grab plenty Lavoris.
--- Jeffrey Beeton
Had trouble in finding a date.
An old man who was stiff
Took a sniff of her quiff,
And said, "Kate, I'm afraid it's too late!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1725
To the greatest of queens was comparable.
But a fellow named Bowerly
Fucked her orally hourly,
And stated the stench was unbearable.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2296
Who's pussy was nasty and smelly.
A nasal butt plug
Hid her odorous rug;
Mosquito bites covered her belly.
--- King Hilltop
Attracted the men with her scent,
For her pussy emitted
A smell that transmitted
Arousal, wherever she went.
--- Cap'n Bean P9902
The second he catches a whiff
Of female crotch odor,
Is hot to unload her:
No wonder he's riddled with syph.
--- Armand Singer
His manner so chaming did melt her.
She disclosed what would please her:
To be conquered by Caesar --
But he came when he saw and he smelt her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2638
He said, "It's on her pussy I thrive.
Her bush is real boss,
You can use it to floss,
And her quiff smells like Chanel No. 5.
--- Anon
Come from playing around with old pricks,
For naught can disguise
The smell of their thighs--
Not even Chanel Number Six!
--- Norm Storer
If only you would change the flavour
Of your intimate spray,
Which smells like old hay.
If you don't, I'm afraid I will waiver.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0502
On her pussy her husband would feast.
There was nothing better
Than to fill her with cheddar;
He loved the flavor and yeast.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is highly erotic and heady.
All the boys say with grins
As they wipe off their chins,
That it must come from Upper Black Eddy. (PA)
--- Bob Giandomenico P8805
Some perfumes outrageously scented,
With essence of honey,
And dripping wet cunny;
It drives all the fellows demented.
--- Anon
Who drowned in a pit full of slurry.
Said Joe, "I suppose
We could give her a hose,
Then render her down for a curry.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose snatch was exceedingly furry.
And home, if you please,
To all manner of fleas,
Though Brenda appeared not to worry.
--- Thom Fitzpatrick
'Bout my nads, I'm beginning to worry.
She's a slut, I surmise,
'Cause the spot 'twixt her thighs,
Seemed to smell faintly of curry.
--- Thom Fitzpatrick
Who had quite a smelly clitoris.
The neighbors suggested,
And Dolores invested
In a douche made of minty Lavoris.
--- Anon
While washing down dust in a joint.
Then after a drench,
I sniffed of her stench,
And straight away came to me point.
--- D O'Grady
I know that you'll be rather fonder
The moist fragrant air,
That you'll find down there,
Be it redhead or brunette or blonder.
--- Arden
And exotic, agreed? I presume;
But the best: native pussy,
Sure's my name's Claude Debussy --
It perfumes a plump concubine's room.
--- Armand Singer P0106
So take it, a word to the wise.
If the pussy smells good,
(Better than it should)
Chances are, what she's hiding ain't nice.
--- Jason
Or so's how that saying goes.
But if that sweet rose
Takes all Toms, Dicks, and Joes,
It soon won't smell sweet to this nose.
--- Anon
And Toms, Dicks and Joes she beckons.
But you seem quite staid
From what you have said;
Do you not like sloppy seconds?
--- Anon
This is file akl
Will stimulate many a gent.
But waiting a month
Before washing her cunth,
Is only for those the most bent.
--- Anon
And I turned to the east just to stare.
And the scent the wind brang
Had a delightful tang,
And, Oh how I wished to be there!
--- Anon
Like fish, so this thought please dispel.
She does take showers,
It smells like flowers,
Cause she used rose scented hair-gel.
--- Anon
It always tickles my nose's
Fancy just right,
Each day and night,
When you sit on my face striking poses!
--- Anon
Right there on the tip of my nose;
And give me a shot
Of her flower pot,
Then maybe I'll take off her clothes.
--- Anon
Of fish that's three-day-old rank.
Like shit attracts filies,
'Twill draw in the guys
When I want a dickhead to spank.
--- Goin2
Of poon, it's the tangy quintessence.
I know you'll feel pleasure
From tongue on that treasure,
So grant me your keen acquiescence.
--- Randog
Of that wet spot just south of your waist,
Which exudes the fine stink
Of red snapper, (though pink),
Marianated in anchovy paste.
--- Scott
And not let a drop go to waste,
My pussy produces
A sluice of fine juices,
And also a flavorful paste.
--- Goin2
Where all those sweet juices ferment.
So spread your firm thighs,
And close your bright eyes.
You'll wriggle and moan 'til you're spent.
--- Randog
Of this unhygienic young belle?
Then take ye this tip:
Best wear a nose clip,
'Cause many have died from the smell!
--- SFA
That randy young bugger called Bates.
He just has to catch
A whiff of her snatch,
And young Master Bates masturbates.
--- Michael Horgan
On taco shells added for crunch,
Was more than just swell;
The sight, taste and smell
Brought thoughts of good times with Babs Bunch!
--- Anon
Leaving Pearl once again all alone.
She has taken to candles
And door-knobs and handles
To use in the absence of bone.
--- Peter Wilkins
By her restaurant manager Bob,
For a diner complained
That his dinner contained
Bits of candle and handle and knob.
--- Peter Wilkins
Now she's stuffing it every which way.
Up her ass, up her cunt,
Using instruments blunt,
And much larger than marrows, I'd say.
--- Peter Wilkins
Sure caused our small town's rankest scandal:
Mumbling, "Jesus, why not,"
He stuffed up his date's twat
A thirteen-inch still burning candle.
--- Armand Singer P0402
That I let him insert a big candle.
But then came the match
Which burned up my snatch.
I guess now I'm too hot to handle!
--- Anon
Enhanced by a soupcon of mustiness;
A chastity belt
Made of copper and felt
Gave his lady the requisite crustiness.
--- Peter Wilkins
Of his lady, embarked on the thrustiness
Of his lance in the slit,
But he soon had to quit,
When he choked on the waft of her dustiness.
--- Travis Brasell
An expert in smuggling cocaine.
Don't give her a shag,
For that 10 kilo bag
Of crack in her crack will cause pain.
--- Anon
Decided she'd have to abstain.
But plugging the entry
That favored the gentry,
Excited the lady again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Amused all the men who bestrode her.
She had put in her cunny
Some turds from a bunny.
And she foamed like a chocolate soda.
--- G2525
Who would wait 'til her lover had spent,
And then plug up her hole
With a large piece of coal,
Leaving all of his jizz to ferment.
--- Anon
And jump up and down at a quarter
To five every day,
To make beer (she would say),
Which she'd bottle and sell as coal porter.
--- Anon
And finds him old spinsters to port.
Then after he comes,
He whistles or hums
While plugging their cunts with a cork.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose tee-shot went wide in a match.
It bounced in the crowd,
And a girl screamed aloud,
"That damn thing went right up my snatch!"
--- Anon
But she thought that sex was a sin.
To save her pure soul,
She filled up the hole;
No fucks nor ass hole to come in.
--- Tom Myers
Who loved to ingest a stiff pole.
It was always well known
She'd use steel, wood, or bone,
Or maybe a horn in that hole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Used her front door all during the day.
But a perverted old doctor
Sewed her up as he cocked her,
And now they come in the back way.
--- G1037
Whose husband had thought her quite fickle.
Seems she couldn't decide,
What to stick up inside;
His peter, a dildo or pickle.
--- Bob Birch P0107
Has phone sex at night to relieve her.
No fear of rejection
Or even infection,
She just smiles and inserts the receiver.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0511Q
The last time I was on my knees
A ping-pong ball shot
Down my throat and could not
Be removed without large surgeon's fees.
--- Mike Dale
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