MORE

Said a hunter of deer name of Tennyson,
"In my time I have slaughtered right many, son.
Then I butcher the meat
Which I sell as a treat.
I am known as the Merchant of Venison."
--- Al Chaplin P9702

Regarding the nympho type mania,
In Shakespeare (no author germane-ier
On sex--the off beat),
In Midsummer's... meet
The Queen of the Fairies, Titania.
--- Irving Superior P9603

Pity Bottom raised out of his class,
With an ass's head on him, alas!
Though beloved by a Queen
For a brief summer's scene,
He later was put out to grass.
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

Dear Bottom, the weaver, alas!
You've been given the head of an ass.
Long ears, you have got 'em,
But bear in mind, Bottom,
At bottom, you're no horse's ass.
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

Oh, Shakespeare's love life, 'twould seem,
Was something not quite on the beam.
Too lazy to fuck,
Not wanting to suck,
He preferred A Midsummer Night's Dream.
--- Anon

Midsummer's Night Dream's like a fever,
When good old Bottom the weaver,
Slipped his huge member out
And up the Queen's spout
Without her knowing. Who would believe her.
--- Stephen Cordwell

Fair Thisbe's condition is worse. See,
She's producing a note from her purse; "He
Said, 'Meet me!' I fear a mis-
take's made! My Pyramus
's lost in the wilds of New Jersey."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8401

'Tis impossible for me to let
The Immortal Bard seem like a get;
Our dear friend, Dr. Deex
Misquotes Will when he speaks --
M. N. D. wasn't hard, it was wet!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8401

Once Shakespeare awoke with a scream,
His underclothes dripping with cream.
'Twas just a commission
Of nocturnal emission
Which he dubbed, "A mid-slumber Night Stream".
--- Anon

'Twas Bacon who actually wet
His drawers while he peacefully slept.
Thought the jury's still out,
There is not a doubt
That it helped Franky to deal with his fret.
--- Anon

Said William Shakespeare, so sincere,
"God's wounds! These all are fakes, dear!
They're none of them mine,
Except Cymbeline,
And why isn't "Rumps, Romps, and Rapes" here?
--- Jarmo

Richard, worst of old England's maxi-
mum bad guys, a humpty-back Rex -- he
Was losing the battle,
So he yelled, "Fiddle-faddle!
Forget the horse! Call me a taxi!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402

King Dickie was steedless, of course,
And searched through his pockets with force,
For trade goods. Bill states: (Shakespeare)
He found only Mates; (brand of condoms)
"My condom," he cried, "for a horse."
--- Tiddy Ogg

At Epsom Downs at every loss,
You'll William Shakespeare come across.
"Alas and woe" is heard
But mostly Richard Third,
Act V -- "My kingdom for a horse."
--- Irving Superior P8401

When varlets called King Richard "Dick,"
The synonyms made Richard sick.
To them he was hard on!
Not one would he pardon!
With poison their skin he would prick.
--- Irving Superior P8401

In this tale of mystery and death,
Romeo lusts for Lady MacBeth;
Juliet's murder foul,
The police on the prowl,
To discover who's taken her breath.
--- Joel D Ash

The suspects are much more than two;
Much ado about who, but no clue.
Hamlet may be involved,
And before this is solved,
You must add even old Montague.
--- Joel D Ash

Juliet was both rich and a bitch,
With an itch for a frequent beau switch;
Hecate hated her guts,
She drove all witches nuts.
Did they kill her? -- Who knows? -- And which witch?
--- Joel D Ash

Time of death, in the midst of mealtime,
After drinking a lemon and lime;
Poison clearly was used,
But the glass when perused,
Showed no fingerprints solving the crime.
--- Joel D Ash

Alibis that turn out airtight;
Romeo out of town for the night;
Witches all avouched,
Hamlet safely couched,
Denoument is not within sight.
--- Joel D Ash

With the end of this poem drawing near,
Who and why still remain most unclear.
Shakespeare shaking his head,
As he heads back to bed.
On the morrow he fingers King Lear.
--- Joel D Ash

Shakespeare's plays are quite lewd;
To life in the raw they allude.
Merry wives are a pleasure,
Measure for measure,
And shrews that are tamed...they get screwed!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In plays that are truly Shakespearean,
With plots that are tragic or cheery, an
Emotion arises
Mid pleasant surprises
And visions of summits empyrean.

(empyrean - highest level of heaven)
--- R J Winkler P8401

"Though amusing, the Shrew is a gaff
Against women, too sexist by half.
Do you still want to see it?"
"Yes, if we agree it
Is quite understood we won't laugh."
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

"To avoid matrimonial disaster
And let marriage ties hold a lot faster,"
Said Kate to her sister
Bianca, and kissed her,
"Just acknowledge that MISTER means MASTER."
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

The works of "The Bard" are all great,
But "Taming of Shrew" opened late.
The casting was done
All there, except one;
No actor was found to placate.
--- Gary Hallock

Gentle Kate was the last one he wanted
Though her dowry was most highly vaunted.
When she'd rant, rage and rail,
Lesser suitors would quail.
Brave Petruchio, though, was undaunted.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0203

Sweet Kate was a number-one shrew,
But Petruchio knew what to do;
He whetted his tongue
On a spot near her bung;
After that, he'd say "Blow!" and she blew.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402

"Kiss me!" I cried to dear Kate.
"Let us each other not bait!"
"Too late for that now.
You dissed me and how!
Petruchio! With you I'll not mate!"
--- Tutta Gioia

In the Bard's "The Taming of the Shrew",
When Petruchio asked, Kate said, "Screw
You and don't annoy
Me. Go find a young boy
Because that's what I'm most prone to do."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9711

The pig-nuts that Caliban dug
Had a crazy effect on his mug.
His teeth got much longer,
His breath became stronger,
And his seizeable nose became pug.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8401

The pitiful Caliban cried,
Since Miranda would not be his bride;
He wailed, "I'll turn fairy; I'll
Take up with Ariel!"
So he did, and got AIDS, and then died.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8401

By the very oddest of flukes,
The shipwrecked 'mid voices and spooks,
Were on the same isle
With the royal exile.
Said Prospero, "Put up your dukes!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8401

This is file ael

King John had a troublesome reign.
His lands stretched from Ireland to Spain.
But during this play
Half was given away,
And England's invaded again!
--- James Muirden P0511Q

A gourmet with doubts was beset,
When he climbed into bed with Annette.
As he viewed her crotch bare,
He exclaimed in despair,
"I'm afraid that this pussy's been et."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1759

There was a young lady of Lee,
Who scrambled up into a tree,
When she got there,
Her asshole was bare,
And so was her C U N T.

(Published 1870)
--- L0058

There was a young girl from Manatch
Who liked to jerk off with a match;
But she got so excited,
The damn thing ignited,
And burnt all the hairs off her snatch!
--- Carl Bleisch

A lesbian woman named Carrie,
Hooked up with a dyke they call Mary.
Seems these gals misbehaved,
Had their pussies clean shaved,
Now Carrie and Mary aren't hairy.
--- Bob Birch P0107

The snatch of the Countess Dumore
Was bald as the knob on the door.
Said the Duke, in surprise,
As he parted her thighs,
"No doubt it's because of the war."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0120

I hear that the girls in St. Louie
Have twats that are really quite gooey;
Filled with big wads of come,
And their paramours gum,
'Cause pubic hairs cause them to ACHOOIE.
--- Anon

I don't want to cause any strife;
I won't flame you, or cut with my knife,
But, Scott, cease your telling.
You cause me head swelling!
One St. Looie gal is my wife!
--- Anon

But with her there is no ACHOOIE,
No reason to ever PATOOIE!
Not one little hair
Will you find down there;
She shaves it off so it's more chewy.
--- Anon

A woman without any fur,
You won't catch me stroking, no sir.
Them deserts are hell
So I might as well
Just bury my tool in a cur.
--- Anon

I date a young gal, Antoinette
Who shaves herself, using Gillette.
Then she rubs on some cream
Till her pussy's a-gleam,
And ends with a douche vinaigrette.
--- Tutta Gioia

Licking Shaved girls is my favorite vice;
So much so, I posted it thrice.
It wasn't on purpose;
I just love to service
A freshly shaved pussy on ice.
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Tring,
Who sat by the fire to sing.
A hot piece of charcoal
Flew right up her arsehole,
And burnt all the hair off her thing.
--- L1227

When I did it, I was about twelve.
I wanted to look like an elf.
No lover around
To simply astound;
Just did it to amuse myself.
--- Anon

Melissa has shaved off the fringe
Of small curls that surrounded her minge.
But it's far from delightful
And looks pretty frightful;
Not somewhere I'd put my syringe.
--- Anon

To a whore a young fellow named Pitt
Complained that her crotch was not fit,
For her cunt had no wool;
Said the whore, affable,
"Did you come her to fuck or to knit?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1631a

A pubescent young lady from Murray,
Sighed, "I sure wish my cunt would get furry.
Each day with great care (I'll not wait till I marry)
I count every hair, (To get rid of my cherry--)
But, darn it! The fur just won't hurry!"

(I'm going to get fucked in a hurry!"
--- G0408

I thought I might post here a lim
Writ in praise of the hairier quim.
But I won't -- I prefer
Them denuded of fur.
If they ain't, then I give them a trim.
--- Peter Wilkins

Depends on how rough is the stuff,
Or the carpet of fluff 'round the muff.
But I've scissors and shears,
Even mowers with gears
Which I use if the shag-pile is tough.
--- Peter Wilkins

A hirsute young lass from Saskatchewan,
Shaved her snatch until her whole thatch was gone.
But the winters were cold;
Her lips chapped, I am told;
So she glued on some hair just to patch it on.
--- Stephen Ross

There once was a girl from Shoalhaven
Whose cunt was totally shaven.
The length of the groove
Was all slippery and smooth,
For a man's cock, a heavenly haven.
--- Andrew Sidney

An obliging young trollop from Surrey
Whose sex area's bare, though once furry.
Explained, "I don't mind it,
For it helps clients find it,
When one them gets in a hurry.
--- Grand Prix Lim 49

I'll bet that you guys are appalled
Or dismayed or whatever it's called.
While Lear might approve
As a brilliant smooth move,
For a groove that is both bald and balled.
--- John Miller

A gal with a plucked mound of love
Said to the guy hovering above,
"I have an addiction
To avoiding all friction,
For it makes for a lovelier shove..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 702

An astute obstetrician named Baugh
Shaved the crotch of his mother-in-law.
Since it wasn't as firm as
His own epidermis,
He asked her to make it go "Nyawww!"
--- G2252

Charlotte's henna-hued merkin was rare;
It was made of her natural hair.
It covered her quiff
From ass to midriff,
And was parted in the middle for air!
--- Stan

Old Nader one time was appalled
On finding his harlot was bald.
Said old Nader, "I think
I will raise a big stink."
And the whores who were bald were recalled.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1430a

If you want to be my sex slave,
And do naughty things that I crave,
I'll say this real nice,
Only once, not twice,
Please go have yourself a clean shave.
--- Anon

There was a young female named Ware,
Who cut off her pubical hair.
Then to save the men trouble,
She razored the stubble,
But none of the men seemed to care.
--- L1556

An overworked harlot was Lizzie,
Who left a young man in a tizzy;
For her pussy was bare
And her answer was, "There
Is no grass on a street that is busy."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0521

You may think me perverted and crude,
But I love pussy shaven and smooth.
'Cause I love to eat
Lots of pink meat,
And who want that hair in his food?
--- Possum TP9802

A perverted boss-whore in North Durham
Said, "Hiring new whores, I de-fur 'em.
A closely-shaved twat
Get the men twice as hot,
And our aim is to sexually stir 'em."
--- G1843

There once was a fellow named Herby,
Whose girl wore a bowtie and derby.
And like it or not,
She'd a clean-shaven twat.
So I guess old Herby has no furby.
--- Eddie


MORE